/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Egg curry using that yellow green powder that really didnt taste like curry. Funny thing is I live in Korea now and they their curry is pretty much the same shit.

I had a nervous breakdown a couple years ago and went through a phase of eating raw steak for a couple weeks. It wasn't that bad, bit chewy.

Sugar on tomatoes. Wouldn't eat it now but it was good as far as I remember.

>>13027110
This legit made me laugh until I cried. Holy shit. I needed that.

>>13027110
>>13027110
Your dad sounds based, I bet your stupid little faggot ass fell for it and told all the kids at school that you eat kobe beef

>>13027940
How's rehab?

>>13027919
Why did you move there?

>>13027919
"Curry" isn't a specific flavour. There is a curry leaf, but it isn't used in most curries.

>sister had one black friend, she would spend the night at our house and we'd watch VHS tapes. She introduced us to the concept of pouring Kool Aid powder into a bag of popcorn and shaking it up

>Me and my friend were very upset we had no dip for chips, so we melted some hunks of cream cheese ever so slightly in a microwave and used it as dip, we loved it so much we did it all the time and tried to get others to try but nobody would, became our own personal snack

>my dad showed me and my sister a trick of making "mush", just cinnamon graham crackers in a bowl, crunched up, mashed around with a bit of milk and eaten with spoon

>>13028970
why would your father get you to do that

I never knew my dad could cook until my parents split up. Then through those first few years of their split I only ever had deep fried food or takeaways. Then one day he just started freestyling meals and dropping them on me like no one's business and that is the cooking style I have today.

>>13027110
When I was 6, we went to visit some aunt and uncle on my Dad's side I didn't know existed (my mom rarely took us to see my Dad's side of the family. It was a 5+ hour drive into Connecticut, then had to take a long ferry ride to their home on some island.

Anyway, they made french toast and it was so good, and I ate so much, they had to take a ferry back into town and come back with more bread just because they were nice and happy to cook for me. Ended up eating 22 pieces of French toast and then I napped until 3PM

Something my mother cooked in the oven stank up the whole house so badly that I'd hide in my room gagging until it went away or olefactory fatigue kicked in if I was made to stay indoors. I always ate what she cooked, however, and she was always a mediocre cook who made mediocre food.
I don't recall ever confronting her about the smell but it was always so awful I'd feel sick for hours afterward. Thinking about it feels like a fever dream but I remember it happening.
In hindsight it was either celery or cabbage, which I love to eat now but those are the only things I can think of that my mom cooked that have a strong smell while cooking.

>>13028096
literally no kid anywhere knows what kobe beef is

>>13027110
I killed a rattle snake when I was a kid with a stick. my dad made me eat it

>>13029541
>Ended up eating 22 pieces of French toast
wtf i dont believe a 6 year old could possibly eat that much

>>13030104
America!

>>13030104
... the aristocrats

>>13028970
your dad was probably high as fuck when he was showing you how to make his secret "mush" haha

I used to put pickles and bologna on my peanut butter jelly sandwiches. Every once in a while I'll do it again...

>>13030396
why

>>13027110
we used to eat a "hotdog casserole". it was velveeta shells, sub the cheese with mustard and then cutup hotdogs and onions thrown in, after that we would suck my dad's cock one by one

>>13027940
Why were you eating raw steak? Because you were too lethargic to cook, or because it soothed you? I'm legitimately curious. When I went through major depression, I just didn't want to eat at all.

>>13029541
That's a great memory, extremely comfy.

When I was a kid I was always at my grandparents house during the summer for almost the whole day until my parents were back from work to pick me up, so everyday I had lunch there.

My grandma was fantastic cook and she still loves to prepare food up to Di day in her 80s, so I grew up eating all the kind of tasty things I can think of. On the downside I grew up with a disdain for shit food and I always seek for the highest quality even when I cook, and I’m not half as good as my nonna.

One day I remember it was almost lunch time but for some reason my grandma was late with making food so since I was hungry she took a big piece of bread from a freshly made ciabatta bough from the bakery down the street and spread some mayonnaise (the Italian one not the American thing) on it.

God it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten, that crunchy yet soft ciabatta bread and the acidic taste of the mayonnaise made up for a king’s treat.

I still eat this as a snack especially when I have high quality bread, and I couldn’t be happier.

One time I was cooking eggs as a kid and I was not supe if the water was really hot enough, so I took one of those old mercury thermometers used to check for fever and it exploded. My parents rushed me to the hospital and it was pretty late at night, but I was fine.

probably the cheapest feeling thing i have had become a regular meal in our household is macaroni with bacon and sausage pieces fried and eaten with ketchup
its good

Not weird, just comfy:
During football world cup 98 we would run around like little idiots playing football and pretending to be Zidane, Ronaldo or Batistuta. When my friends would come over to my house my mother would make us bread with smalec, which is just rendered pork fat, everyone loved it.

I never realized how poor we really were, my parents would make a bonfire in the garden, let it burn down and we would roats potatoes in the ash. Add some butter and salt, great, the skin is unlike any other preparation method.

>have severe tourettes as child
>sugar and corn syrup caused symptoms to bubble up like crazy
>if I ate sugar people thought I was having a seizure from physical tics
>parents removed processed sugar from diet entirely
>found a jar of peanut butter hidden in the corner of the pantry
>eat entire thing
>so worth it
I grew out of it with time, but I still try to avoid processed sugar. Occasionally it flairs up

>>13029043
Seems like your dad was going through some serious post-divorce depression and managed to get better in the end. Good for him

When I was a kid, my older cousin (who was really into cooking) visited and made stroganoff.
It was delicious, but I ate two enormous bowls of it and vomited right there at the dinner table. She got really upset because for some reason she thought I didn't like it and had only eaten ten servings' worth to be polite.

>>13031343
Wtf is this cognitohazard

Why am I feeling emotions that don't exist

>>13031343
is this like some kind of psychotic permutation of gondola or something?

>>13027110
I used to hate oatmeal, my parents always made it like shit, and my dad made me eat it one day when I was a little sick. He said "if you throw up in the bowl, I'm making you eat that too."
I did throw up because it was so awful and had the consistency of slimy dogshit. I ate the throwup until he realized what was going on and made me stop. My mom didn't say anything. I didn't eat oatmeal again for 15 years.
Fuck slowcooker oatmeal.

>>13028286
rehab is fun if you like people

>>13033356
How do you end up in rehab if you like people?

>>13032631
he's a stuffed otter

>>13033360
that's a non sequitur anon. tons of people become alcoholics while socializing with everybody at the bar

>>13029975
i mean, i had to google it, and im 23.

>>13031168
that's fuckin gross anon

>>13027110
my parents punishing me for not eating all of my food.
like im 8 why do I need to eat all that? I always ate my vegetables. I just didn't want to eat your shitty gristle filled meat. My dad got so tired of me not eating that shit he would scream at me and call me ungrateful and make me sit at the table for hours until I ate. After my parents marriage stated to fail they stopped caring what I ate. I devolved into eating just cheese chips and ramen.
I don't ever want to go back.

>>13031343
Based Achewood poster

>>13033446
You should have just done what you were told. It's not that big a deal to eat something you don't like.

>>13033446
i've been in a very similar position anon. shit sucks.

>>13033452
when you're 8 its a big deal

>>13033452
it is if it makes you gag and puke moron. feeding kids garbage doesn't make it okay because you said so. My parents always said that to justify their unfairness.

>>13027110
One time at the dinnertable I pulled a pot closer to me to get something out of it, and it made a noise scraping over the table that my alcoholic father interpreted as a fart, so he beat the shit out of me for farting at the table.
I take immense pleasure in knowing that man is dying alone and miserable right now.

He also overcooked the fried liver.

>>13033461
If you don't let go of hate it will change you. Not saying you should but most people don't let it change them for the better.

>>13033455
>>13033456
It shouldn't be a big deal at any age. If you gag and puke you need to grow out of that. It's just like learning not to lie on the ground and have a tantrum when things don't go your way. You need to be taught not to do that.

>>13027110
My dad used to drink a bottle of white wine and then fall asleep in front of the tv. This is a resumee of my childhood memories

>>13033464
Several decades too late for that, buddy.

Dad would make kobe beef by three-pointing steaks into the frying pan from across the kitchen.

>>13033461
watch him die nothing will leave you satisfied as watching the life fade out youll regret missing the last minutes as they are the most euphoric

>>13033478
It will actually make a huge difference to your life if you make peace with him before he dies. That's not necessarily forgiveness. Just a recognition of his flawed humanity, and an acknowledgement that it was never really about you.

>>13033461
>muh dad gave me a pat on the back of the head now i haet him
Way to hold a grudge over nothing, you small, smal shell of a man.

>>13033461
don't listen to those other fags. go kick his ass.

>>13033494
Are you really stupid enough to think that was the only incident?

>>13033491
No, I have no desire to make peace with him. He was always a piece of shit and I have never had any reason to care for him. You don't owe people anything just because you're related.

>>13033502
It's not for him, seriously. You need to let go.

>eating at best childhood friend's house
>his family are extremely yugoslavian
>his mum is a good cook though
>she gives us sausages and some vegetables for lunch
>yum tastes good
>take plate to kitchen
>discover that she deep fried the fucking sausages
>nearly vomit reflexively

>>13033512
I have no more feelings for that bag of shit than you do.
Maybe you'd like to visit him.

>>13033514
What's so bad about that?

>>13031469
Yeah the skin goes nice and crispy, while the potato steams itself and is nice and soft. rock salt, sour cream and chives

>>13033470
>taught not to gag and puke when eating gristle in cheap meat
ok dude

>>13033543
so if you get gristly meat, do you put on a pathetic show of gagging and puking, like a child? or just spit it out like everyone else

>>13033520
yknow you don't need to forgive him. Just face him, confess your anger and let it go. Holding onto it is the issue. Most of the times people are mad at themselves for not being strong enough at the time to do anything about it.
gonna pull out good will hunting and say
Its not your fault bud.

>>13033546
Its not like I put on a show when I was younger but spitting out food is better than throwing up. children don't really have much capability in overcoming natural reflexes. Children are literally niggers of the age group.

>>13033550
Oh I see. No, I've made it very clear to him what I think already. That's part of the pleasure.

>>13027110
i have a weird memory of my dad slicing up a banana on top of a curry, like a bhuna or a madras or something. i thought it was a normal thing to do so copied him. have done it for years. then i did it in front of someone who said it was fucking disgusting and weird. i asked a few other people, checked online, turned out no one does it and my dad's a weirdo. so i texted my parents about it and they have no idea what i'm on about, and agreed it's weird and disgusting. i have no idea where i got the memory from. would swear i saw him do it a load of times.

>>13027988
word

>>13033609
you got bumped into a different timeline, seems like you moved into a better timeline one where people don't put bananas on curry.
I remember as a kid having to put pots and pans and even a few big gulp cups all over the floor to catch the drips ever time it rained because the roof leaked. It went on for like 3 years and we lived in Florida so it rain constantly but nobody in my family remembers it

>>13033485
Underrated post

>>13033609
i always put bananas in my curry. is that weird?

>>13033451
you can never go back to your childhood

i once poured milk on my plate because i was done eating and did not want to eat anymore and i figured my parents would not make me eat it with milk.

fuck broccoli

>be kid
>mom is terrible cook but aunt is great cook
>I user to really like back scratches when I was a baby (gentle back scratching instead of running)
>aunt babysat for me a lot
>have memories and her making classic Dutch breakfasts and scratching my back until I was done eating breakfast like she used to do when I was a babby

>>13031595
FUCK

>>13033446
Depending what generation or what part of the world your parents grew up in, not eating enough food could result in serious health complications

> parents bought fruit roll up's
>mfw i wasn't allowed to eat them even thought they were for me

> my mom would put boneless/skinless chicken breasts in a deep pan in the oven and fill it with water and bake it for an hour and when all the water cooked off she'd add more and cook it for another hour
>served with some white rice that was some over cooked and crunchy at the same time
>if we were lucky there was some margarine and some cheap garlic powder so i could make "butter garlic chicken"
>same meal every night for years

>>13034204
twice baked oven boiled chicken

>>13034047
depends what kind of curry, some just have banana in them. my false memory was my dad getting a curry that had no banana in it and slicing one up on top just before eating. i like it but have been called weird or disgusting for doing it by everyone i've asked about it. including my dad.

hurricane wilma absolutely destroyed Broward county and left us without a roof or power fro 30 days, it blew down our banana trees so we had an abundance of bananas
>almost completely out by week 3
>surviving off FEMA bullshit relief vienna sausages because all the good FEMA relife went to palm beach county even though Broward got hit way worse
>mom cooks banana cake from scratch in gas grill
>comes out pretty good for not have most of the necessary ingredients
>banana cake restored our will to live in a shitty time

Also on a side note never trust the news wilma hit us as a cat 2 but managed to fling cars around and flip tractor trailers like they made out of cardboard, almost every house in the county had blue tarps on what was left of their roof. Yet the recent cat 5's couldn't even blow over my fucking lawn chair. Lying ass news hyped the fuck out of them

>>13033609
Very common in the Caribbean. Excellent too.
Banana is just tropical bread.

>>13033609
Maybe your dad was too stoned to remember.

It sounds quite nice, I would try it.

>>13034275
>Broward county
You should have died

>>13033485
Fucking kek took me a second.

>>13034182
what a struggle

>>13034182
This actually reminds me of one.

When I was a kid I used to take fruit roll ups and ball them up into a wad and eat them whole. I called them fruit roll up balls. My mom did not like that I would do this and one day she took me the dentist. After the appointment the dentist said "You shouldn't eat so many fruit roll up balls" and my mother looked at me said "See!" and I started doing it less. At the time I was astonished that the dentist so accurately described something I ate. Now as an adult I realize my mother just told him to say that beforehand to get me to stop doing it.

>>13034546
we wanted to but no such luck.

i remember filling gallon sized bags with ice and filling up a small bag with milk and chocolate syrup and shaking them outside with the other kids in the apartment complex.

>mixed kid with single mom came once while we were cooking outside
>hes wearing his moms maxipad
>bends over and i see his balls
>hes pissing in it what the fuck

>>13033556
Cant wait for you to be an old, dying, lonely fuck in a retirement home, forgotten by everyone, stuck dwelling on the thought of how you treated your father.
Wishing you could have made peace, wondering if it is karma that led to you being thrown away like you were.

It makes me happy to imagine your decaying shell trapped in an eternal well of lost opportunities and broken dreams.

And when the light finally leaves, when you finally leave your husk behind, I want you to know that you deserve the eternal hellfire that waits for you.

When I was a kid I went to visit family in Italy for the summer. Before I left I was a skinny rail of a kid, 3 months of being forced to eat everything put in front of me and being called 'masticabrodo' (someone who chews soup) for eating slow I came back overweight and have been so now for 18 years and I inhale food as fast as possible.

Lost 10lbs recently from being depressed so I got that going for me

>>13034800
>mixed kid with single mom
So his dad was black?

>>13034980
>Lost 10lbs recently from being depressed so I got that going for me
keep up the good work, i also was a very slow eater and my Italian mom would just keep shoving food at me

>>13034980

does depression make you lose weight? because I'm down to an unhealthy weight for my height from about 220.

>>13035026
if you lose the will to bother to cook a meal

>>13034913
Did your dad leave you or did you leave your child?

>>13033514
Lucky. My family was only moderately yugoslavian

>>13034913
Come on now anon, face him, confess your anger and let it go. Holding onto it is the issue.

>>13034218
Fuck em. Eat what you enjoy, regardless of deeper reasons, unless it's hazardous of course.
I may shit on my tastelet friends for eating bland crap, but it would be stupid to tell them not to enjoy what they enjoy.

>>13032618
>>13032631
so young

achewood.com

>>13030004
Based dad

>>13034987
his mom was also mixed

>>13033339
What the fuck

>>13034154
BOB SAGET

>>13033550
>yknow you don't need to forgive him. Just face him, confess your anger and let it go. Holding onto it is the issue.

Life isn’t a group therapy session mate. Some people are evil bastards who do unforgivable things, sadly this may include your family members. If anon hates his dad it may be with good reason, absolutely his decision what he does about it if anything.

>>13034913
I hope you are larping because this is the least fucking Christian thing I have ever read and it is deeply sad that you would say such a thing.

>>13035859
he is just being edgy

Ate mayonaise and puked from it, hated it ever since

>be me 6yo in line at grocery store
>mom won't let me get candy
>notice there is a ripped open pack of star bursts
>scope out my soundings, all clear
>snag a single starburst and pocket it
>heart pounding .gif
> wait till we get home and hide in closet behind a big jacket
>go to eat starburst
>tfw its a yellow one
>eat it anyway out of spite
>sneak to the bathroom and put the wrapper in a ball of TP just in case the toilet clogs and flush the evidence
>paranoid for months afterward
>so paranoid i make up my own language in my head just in case they have mind reader

>>13034913
Won't happen to me because I'm not an abusive alcoholic.
Interesting how you wish that fate on me just because I hate the man who ruined my childhood, but you think he deserves better.
Are you by any chance a drunk wifebeater yourself?

>>13027110
>Mom would make hamburger patties
>Place in electric skillet
>Cook until well done
>Cover in a can of cream of mushroom soup
>Simmer until the soup was hot
Boomer cooking, man...

grandma baiting me with chicken nugget or an egg roll during my parents wedding. they divorced and she’s dead now. :(

one time as a kid i was looking into a birdhouse for babies and 3 eggs accidentally fell out. i brought my cat over to cover up the crime.

>>13036293
Got a pic of the cat?

>>13036293
Brandon?

>>13036262
I find it curious too. People don’t say women should forgive their domestically abusive ex-partners and open up a dialogue with them, in fact most would say you’d be off your head to go back to them. Why the fuck should kids forgive shitty parents?

>>13033485
I know this is made up but that sounds like something an actually cool father would do

>>13033485

>>13027110
kek

>super poor as a kid
>always wanted candy but hardly got it
>mom would always make me "chocolate noodles"
>kept making them for me for years
>she dies of cancer
>dad is taking care of me
>ask for chocolate noodles for dinner
>he doesn't know what the fuck they were
>cut to teenage years
>staying over at a friends house
>he makes beef flavored ramen for us
>as soon as he sits the bowl in front of me I realize what chocolate noodles were

miss you mom.

>>13036225
anon, you're going to prison

>Dad asks me "Anon, what do you want for dinner?"
>"Chocolate!"
>The madman actually did it
>Chocolate spaghetti
>I forget what else, but I think it was a three-course chocolate meal
>Another time my sister said she wanted to "eat more greens"
>My dad made an entirely green meal (with pesto etc.) that actually tasted good

>be 10
>go home from little league game
>mom makes trader Joe's orange chicken
>I have 3 servings while watching the Simpson's episode where homer tries to find his middle name
>wake up in middle of night
>puke absolute guts out
>sick for about 8 days
>can only really eat broth and bread and water the whole time
>never ate orange chicken ever again

>>13037241
based dad

>>13031343
>>13033451
Well now I'm sad and I don't exactly know why.

>>13033514
Why is that bad?

>>13034913
Dork

Once I bit into an apple and it was black and dusty inside, turned me off apples for years. At the time my mother only drank apple juice, so it was all we had in the house.

>>13028096
hi OPs dad, go back to facebook!

>>13036262
>>13035859
>>13035318
>>13035275
Seething roasties with daddy issues confirmed.

>>13038559
Or deadbeat shitty dads

>>13031258
when I was doing a lot of steroids I ate raw a lot of raw meat .
for what ever the reason it was the only thing that kept the roid rage under control , it literally kept me from beating people to death,
god that shit was stupid dangerous and made me fucking unstable as hell.
I was unbelievably strong but had almost no ability to think I would eat handfuls of raw meat and that seemed completely normal at the time and then I would be somewhat normal for a while.

>>13037241
I hope you're showing the old man some appreciation now, anon. He sounds like a good guy.

>>13038706
Either way they are going to die alone and full of regret.
Call your parents anons

>>13033514
how do extremely Yugoslavian people differ from slightly Yugoslavian ones? sounds like the setup for a joke but its not

>>13033339
Holy shit my step mom told me to do the same thing one time. It was cream of chicken soup, I told her I vomitted in it and she told me to eat it.

government cheese being melted on a dirty frying pan at my mom's apartment in DC, felt bad bros

>>13027110
Used to eat apple sandwiches (bread, butter, apple slices, sugar).

I used to eat mayonaise on crackers as a snack.

I ate twelve half-raw bloody turkey legs when I was 14 before jerking off for several hours until my penis skin was so deflated I could move the vein around in it. I'll never forget that day, because I'll never top that fap record.

fuck even is kobe beef

>>13027110
me and my brother had some canned cod liver, so we decided to make rolls with spinach leaves, cod liver, and blueberries. I remember it tasting pretty good, but I have yet to try it again.

sneed

>>13040684
s'eenope

>>13040684
cringe

bump

>>13028970
try cream cheese, mozerella, minced onions and dill, with milk to thin it to the right consistency

>>13033446
>what's for dinner, dad?
>a life haunted by resentment and despair.

>>13033514
So what? It's not like the sausages are porous and soak up the frying oil, or have any kind of texture that would be ruined by deep frying. It's literally the same as pan frying them. Having worked in plenty of popular restaurants, most things that are "grilled" like onions, peppers, etc are just throw into a deep fryer and then we burn some grill-marks on them before plating lmao.
Stop being a little drama queen faggot.

Me and my friend used to make "cheese sauce" by crushing up cheez-its really small and mixing them with water.
At school I'd do the same thing whenever I got cheez-its in my lunchbox, except I'd do it in my mouth and then spit the sauce onto my sandwich.

>>13033446
Jesus my parents did the same. My step mom would tell me to eat those awful overcooked porkchops, they were like leather, they were so disgusting. I wanted to die. And I had to eat every bite before naptime. God kill me. I'm glad she's dead now, don't know about her daughters, but I receive a small amount of retribution for that from those awful days.

>>13031144
It tastes great

As a kid me and my brother would often make "swamp soup". It didnt matter what type of soup it was, we would throw all kinds of different crackers in it until it was almost a solid when it soaked up all the soup. Parents didnt care as long as we ate it all

>>13041745
That makes me sad

>>13033446
You sound like a malnourished picky eater like my cousin who ONLY eats chicken nuggets and hot dogs.

They didn't enjoy doing it either. They were looking out for you and stopped caring about your well being and you just went back to picking the cheese off your plate and eating bags of chips. They failed you.

>>13034913
Imagine white knighting this hard for an alcoholic failed father of an anon you dont even know. Seriously kys.

>>13038559
Go to wizardchan or something, shiteater

>>13043476
Only if you have sex first incel

>>13027110
My mom would make spaghetti casserole. It was basically noodles, cottage cheese, burger, and sauce layered into a casserole dish. It was so simple and sounds gross as I type this out, but it was always a favorite of mine. The crispy cheese on the edges, the sauciness of it, the garlic bread she always served with it. It's very close to my heart and she still makes it occasionally. I guess the only thing that weird about it is when I mention it, people make a face and say "that sounds gross".

>>13043342
this made me laugh

>>13031282
you did it, you sould me something I considered disgusting at first sight as something that could actually be good, might try it some day

>>13036225
>>so paranoid i make up my own language in my head just in case they have mind reader
fucking based, you were literally insane as a kid

>>13027110

Your dad was a Marine, wasn't he?

>>13044348
That sounds delicious.

My mom would always make cream of mushroom soup, broccoli, and chicken casserole and to this day it's still my favorite comfort food as an adult.

>>13033451
anon, I...

>>13031454
that sounds really good

>>13033485
kekd

>>13037241
your dad loves you anon

>>13044348
My mom used to make that. I always really enjoyed it. I feel weird talking about it here because it sounds awful when typed out, but it was really good.

>>13037036
:(

When I was a kid my mom would occassionally make chocolate chip pancakes and put the leftovers in the fridge. What I would do is heat up the pancakes in the microwave, chop up some cheese, and wat it with the pancakes. Not on top, nor melted, almost as a side.
Dont know why.

>>13033471
Based

>>13027110
What the actual fucking fuck.

>>13043367
Pussy little piece of shit. Just eat it you fucking baby. No wonder you zoomers grew up to be the same as women despite having dicks.

>>13046600
I'm glad you'll be the generation to die first. You'll jump off of a cliff if it's perceived as the "masculine" thing to do. Unpleasant things are unpleasant to children, and it forms unpleasant memories. Are you too retarded to wrap your head around that? LOL, sorry you were brainwashed from childhood to pick up this awful trait of perceived masculinity, or you picked it up from being a fucking loser looking down on others in school. Judging by the fact that you're calling other people pussies on a mongolian basket weaving board, I'd go for the latter.

>>13038736
the fuck

>>13044451
Trust me, you won’t regret that.

Just use real mayonnaise, it’s important.

>>13038736
Gorilla mindset

>>13027110
Dad hold my nose to force feed me spinach and other nasty food had I not emptied my plate. He also mixed this sort of yoghurt and milk together in one cup one time and told me to drink it all up. It tasted nasty and dairy products make me feel naseous. I didn't drink it up and eventually he threw it on me, cursed and threw some leaves on me. After that moment our relationship was always tainted and I didn't want to visit him really anymore. Sad how it goes.

I guess it's more sad then weird. What was weird is that for example one time, we still hadn't eat everything on our plate. An hour had passed. The spinach was cold now but he put mini smarties on our spinach so we would eat it. I remember eating maybe a few of the smarties and seeing them get discolored, getting green and white after a while. We didn't finish it though. Can't remember what happend but lot of drama and he mentioned this story in court how we don't eat spinach, how our mother isn't feeding us properly and teaching us to eat good. They all laughed at him I was told. Mother got full custody and he was told to pay alimony, which I think he only did once and got away with it somehow never paying it. Maybe mother didn't want to pressure on this. We were pretty poor though the first years after the divorce, would've been nice if he did gave us some money.

>>13041695
Sounds amazing thanks anon

my nan's chip butties on fresh brown bread

yum

I added salt to milk once. It tasted good until I added more salt then it tasted unspeakably awful.

>>13031469
This really made me smile anon. A rare thing.

>>13033365
If you're rich enoug to socialize you're rich enough to not drink.

>>13036330
People in general treat women with more care than men.

>>13027110
I put ketchup on alot things that didn't mean for it to be

>>13037482
This happened to me with a dried medjool date. I could taste that fungoid must

>>13038736
Nani

>>13048100
Go dilate tranny

>>13049240
Not a tranny, just not a dunderhead like yourself.

>>13034913
You're right

>>13033514
Pussy

I have a vivid memory of when I was a kid at my grandma's house. She had put some fishfingers in the oven for me but I was being a little shithead, sat at the table banging my cutlery going "IS IT READY YEEEEET? I'M HUUUUUNGRYYYY. I WANT IT NOWWWW".
She got sick of telling me it wasn't ready yet so she turned around, pulled the fishfingers out the oven, tossed them on a plate and said "If you want it now, then here you go."
She made me sit and eat these cold, slimy, raw fishfingers. I made it through one before I gave up and apologised, and she took them back to finish cooking them. You can be damn sure I fuckin sat in silence and never pulled that shit again.

>>13027110
canned salmon cakes, my mom cant cook for shit

My mom once made a weird dish that translates to „meat birds“. It basically looked like a bunch of dicks. My sister, me and my mom sat down to eat, looked at the meat, then at each other and then we almost peed our pants from laughing. We did not eat them. Pic pretty related.

>>13051532
And yet these are your dad’s favorite snacks.

>>13046600
t. Cant cook porkchops

>>13033470
If you gag and puke, that means there's something wrong with the food and it should be thrown out.

>>13034171
Starving children don't leave food on the plate, anon.

I went through a phase when I was 4 where I would eat sticks of butter like bananas. I’d hold the butter upright, peel the paper off, and take a bite off the top.

>>13031469
Never heard of those guys. What positions do they play and for what team? Wr, quarterback? Is it college football?

I used to get the whole "kids are starving in Africa so eat all your food" when I was young.

So when I was 5 I was really hungry and poured about half a cup of salt in a bowl because I saw it in the cupboard and assumed it was good. I didn't like the taste but I sat there and ate it over 30 minutes because I thought salt was expensive and I didn't want to waste it.

I don't think my parents ever knew.

>>13033446
My parents only ever made me clean my plate if I served myself. If they served, they let me eat as much as I wanted of what I wanted. I was also not a picky eater so they didn't have to worry about me not eating muh veggies.
Anyway seemed like a good parenting technique to avoid eating disorders. I should know how much I want b4 I serve myself, of course they have no idea how much I want though.

Later when they divorced it came out my mom had me on add meds so she could swipe the pills so my dad won partial custody, but he never had to cook for a big family (5 brothers, mostly teens) so one weird food memory is eating hotsauce bread. Always had Tabasco and bread in the house. After school snack for like 4 years

>>13051763
That's because they play REAL football, anon. Not the cheap knock-off version of rugby.

>>13048768
Kekd

>>13051718
My little brother made a "sandwich" which consisted of 4 sticks of butter on 2 slices of bread. We only found out because we caught him passed out face down in the plate halfway through it

>>13051789
What's rugby? What's real football? I watch NFL...

>>13051773
heh

>>13031595
Why didn't they get you the peanut butter without all the additives? "Adams 100% All Natural" is my current favorite. Try it sometime.

>>13051871
I think anon meant soccer

>>13031282
calvè and fresh bread is genuinely good, especially at 6.30 am before stumbling to bed.

>>13046600
He did eat it you sperg

My dad taught me to dunk my grilled cheese in chocolate milk. I still think it's delicious.

>>13052004
I knew that from the start but europoors always take the bait

>>13033556
don't listen to him anon, he's probably also an alcoholic piece of shit dad

>>13038736
Very interesting

>>13038736
Was it worth it?

>>13048100
>muh toxic masculinity
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a limp wristed gesticulation.

>>13053123
He was blatantly being a loser. And so are you by sperging out. You've done nothing to discredit what I've said except for calling it "pussy", this is the problem with your type. What's even more ludicrous is that most of you can't even explain in reasonable terms why it's pussy, you just say that "it just is." Imagine changing your point of view and emotional frame based on the intimidation of others. Now that's the real pussy. Which authority figure made you so intimidated that he was able to drill that illogical and counterproductive system into your thoughts?

One time when my aunt and uncle were visiting when I was a kid, my uncle couldn't stop raving about the biscuits at breakfast. Then he found out that they were made with goats milk and threw a tantrum.

when I was seven my uncle took my family out for an expensive meal
I didn't recognize anything on the menu and just chose the mac and cheese
It was fucking disgusting
my uncle throws a fit about me not eating the $60 mac and cheese he bought me
that night he got hungry and ate the left overs
turns out it was blue cheese mac and cheese

>mfw he brings it up whenever I see him
im 25

I have a few, from growing up poor.

>Food pantry gave us tons of "Grainy Fields" single-serving cereal boxes
>Supposed to be some kind of Wheaties knock-off, but it had no taste or definable texture
>Literally like chewing on chopped-up cardboard
>Mix melted chocolate chips with Grainy Fields to make a slightly less horrible dessert than it was a breakfast

>Neighbor's wife was a stewardess
>Every time she came back from Europe she'd bring back a jar of Nuss-Nougat (Nutella)
>Spread it on bread for dessert
>Day after day
>Month after month
>I still can't eat any hazelnut spread as an adult

>Food pantry sometimes got weird shit they didn't want to give to normal people, so we got them
>One month got a whole bunch of long-expired, single-serving, bake-in-package Kosher cake mixes
>Imagine a rubbery pancake cooked in tiny plastic baking dish with a strong chemical flavor

>Open up some Uncle Ben's rice mixture one night
>Moths fly out
>Caterpillars are wriggling around in the box
>Dad and I look at each other
>We know what must be done
>Separate out the larvae and sautee them
>Mmm, protein
>Dad calls Uncle Ben's the next day to complain about the poor quality of their rice and asks if they could send us tastier caterpillars
>Nothing but nonstop laughter heard on the other end of the phone

>>13033339
Imagine being such a tastelet that you throw up from eating oatmeal.

>>13053385
Seethe impotently while you dilate, trannyfag

>>13033556
>That's part of the pleasure.
You say "pleasure", but you don't sound happy or pleased at all. Seek help.

>>13052202
What bait?

>>13027110
test

>>13054125
OK, I'm only B& from /co/

>>13053385
What are you doing? You're working the wrong board. I just sent an email to HQ for confirmation, and I'm definitely the one they assigned to cure the angry incels on /ck/.

>>13051532
If these had been cooked at a proper temperature then they wouldn't look like dicks.

>>13054122
See it’s good on crackers and crostini too, there’s literally nothing mayonnaise can’t do

>>13054122
>>13052004
When it comes to fat I'd rather eat butter on my bread, but I don't see any reason why mayonnaise on bread would be bad. Mayonnaise is actually pretty tasty but I feel like it wouldn't be good on its own.

>>13054152
M8, I’ll just say two words: green apples.

Try the combination.

>>13038736
roids are terrible because they make you not only feel healthy but like a superhuman even though they are incredibly bad for you and can lead to sudden death in a variety of ways even when you are "jacked".

>>13033365
you misunderstand. while true alcoholics can want to socialize, nobody would ever dare want to socialize with a true alcoholic.

Used to salt white bread and eat it. Sometimes would use white sugar instead as a dessert. Yes i was poor

>>13033451
What did he fucking expect? Its night and his mom was asleep. Cooking takes times

>>13044348
That doesn't sound bad, although I would probably swap the hamburger for some kind of sausage.

My parents were farmers and ranchers.
One time when i was 4 i went in the kitchen to get something to eat and there were several cow brains in the sink. I fucking puked and then my parents said that was for supper so i cried. For years i thought they were kidding but i they really were planning on some cow brain for supper and thats more commom than i thought.

>>13054319
He's a badly drawn dumbass in a poorly written comic.

When I was a small child I got a green pea stuck up my nose. I hated green peas for a long time after that.

>>13054173
Elucidate me m8 because I can scarcely believe it:

Are you recommending to eat a slice of bread with mayonnaise and slices of green apple?

>>13054578
Two separate things.

Try mayonnaise on green apple or whatever kind of apple you like.

N O R E G R E T S

>>13054713
Trust me

Not really weird but I would always eat home run inn pizza and watch Yu-Gi-Oh

>>13054733
Back when I was a kid we tricked our stupid classmate into watching pic related making him believe it was that Yu-Gi-Oh show everybody were talking about at school.

Took him a solid 3 weeks to notice it was something different.

I remember when I was around 6 or 7 I told my mom the truth that her cooking was shit and I was sick and tired of eating her awful meals and I was thereby a vegetarian. So she bought a block of tofu and without telling me what it was, told me that this is the only thing that vegetarians can suitably eat along with vegetables and so I started eating a raw block of cold tofu while my mother stared at me and waited for a reaction. It presumably tasted like raw, cold tofu and I agreed to choke on her cooking again.

>>13028970
same thing but we called it graham cracker soup

>>13035026
sounds like you've got a parasite or cancer if you're eating the same amount of food

>>13036330
probably because you enter into a sexual relationship voluntarily but your parents just are a part of you the way your hand is yours

>>13051532
comfy memory, anon

>>13053879
That last one is based and underrated.

>>13033446
You likely ruined your parent's marriage

>>13034800
The kid was black. Just one drop, anon

I remember when I was like 6 my brother and I were splitting a liter or so of coke, and he poured equal portions into a tall thin glass and a short wide glass. He gave me the short one, and I started crying because I didn't understand how the volumes of the glass were the same. He blew my mind when he explained how they had the same amount of coke in them.

>>13051532
You didn't eat them because you thought they were funny. Your mom and sister didn't eat them because of other reasons.

My uncle made me try out bread with mortadella and chocolate paste, I liked it them but dread eating it now.
Once I made my cousin eat a sandwhich with all kinds of random shit thrown in, from ketchup to cereal and other shit that don't go together, she said she liked it too lol

>>13055055
LOL

>>13045519
Fo real though. Casseroles are ultra comfy.

>>13027110
I used to make what my dad called a"diabetes sandwich" for myself all the time as a kid. It's bread with Nutella, white chocolate sprinkles and crushed speculaas grilled in a frying pan.

I tried it again a few days ago but couldn't handle all the sweetness, I was full after two bites.

Where did you lot grow up? The fucking ghetto?

I used to love licking the cake mixture off the spoon when my mum would bake. I eventually discovered that it was basically just butter and sugar so would sneak downstairs at night and roll butter in sugar and eat it.

I remember getting some kind of cheese fries at Burger King that was basically just kraft macaroni powder and fries. You had to shake the bag to get the cheese dust all over the fries. Was pretty good.

>>13036225
>We got him sarge, this monster was hiding in /ck/ all this time, round up his house this is our chance

>>13038736
Post body, I need to know if it's worth it

>>13053879
I work at a food pantry and the last one reminded me of yesterday when I was moving some ricebags out of shelf storage and a bunch of moths were chilling in between the packages. They instantly flew towards the blue zapper bulb on the wall, and it haunted me. There were about 25 of them and one after the other they just flew into the bulb, despite the moth in front of them dying before their eyes

>>13040049
Actually sounds delicious, would try frying it for some poor man's apple fritters

>>13043444
And you sound like a gay retard lol

>>13033470
gagging and vomiting are instinctual, natural reactions to stop you from accidentally eating inedible, unprocessable foods. don't bother having children you idiot.

>>13033546
why force someone to eat and swallow something that you would spit out

>>13034204
What the fuck, and how the fuck does this even happen? Who the fuck taught her cooking like that was okay?
Who the fuck made her believe that’s how you cooked something?

>>13034597
>>13034275
How does it feel to have parents and an understanding of the weather that are all so childish and ridiculous that you were stupid enough to get hit by a Cat 2 hurricane and almost die and were also stupid enough to hang out during a cat 5 hurricane and hope for the best

>>13048527
>your dad was poor, didn’t know how to cook, and was having a mental breakdown
>trying to be good dad and make his kids grow up healthy and strong
>just wants them to eat vegetables
>bitch wife is feeding them whatever they want so they like her more
>court laughs in his face when he explains to them that she’s a manipulative bitch
That’s extremely depressing, anon

>>13051773
You’re the kind of idiot retard that should’ve been culled by natural selection

>>13053723
>taking a literal child to a Michelin-star restaurant
He would’ve been better off taking a woman, a mental child, than taking a literal child.
Why are so many adults so stupid that they fault other people in their lives for doing things any other kid would do? These people should be sterilized

>>13054780
Why are so many men sticking their dicks into fucking icicles?

>>13056645
You’re the one who shouldn’t bother, and I’m not the same guy you’re replying to.

Children are equal part the best thing that’s ever happened to you and little devils out to make your life hell. They will, and trust me, they always will find a way to surprise, deceive, and most importantly, get what they want. The idea that children wouldn’t ever “gag and wretch” to avoid eating something is stupid, because they absolutely will, and it absolutely is a behavior that needs to be broken.
Especially with parents who give in to their children’s impulses often (IE feeding them junk food, chips, candy, etc) and then allowing them not to eat their vegetables once or twice and then trying to force them can result in this behavior.

The idea that you think children won’t do this makes you confirmably retarded. People like you are the reason 95% of woman in today’s generation are picky eaters who ALWAYS order chicken nuggets when they go out to eat. Because you’re the person who lets his stupid future cum receptacle not eat veggies because “she’s gagging” when the gagging is just a learned behavior to trick your stupid ass into letting her do whatever she wants.

Yes I’m angry that my cum receptacle is a picky eater.

>>13034546
why would you say something like that to another anon

where's that one batshit crazy poster who ate fucking roadkill and shit with his family in the Philippines or wherever it was

>>13051785
Man I just organically grew into that exact snack as a lazy teenager with a savory/spicy addiction. I called it "spiced bread" and just dump all sorts of spices and sauces on toast and maybe melt some cheese on it if I was feeling fancy. Now I cook proper meals but I still occasionally crave that complete flavor bomb with minimal effort. My solution to this is ghetto microwave nachos. I just grate a bunch of cheese on a plate of tortilla chips, cover it in spices, microwave and it's just like the old days. Bonus points because my gf seethes when I do this at like 2am and come to bed with mexican gutter breath and a designated cheese crusted plate left on the counter kek

>>13056849
>Yes I’m angry that my cum receptacle is a picky eater.
So what you're saying is, you have a bad taste in partners?

>>13037036
>>13037241
whoah

>>13031343
God bless you, fellow Achewood fan

>>13057763
https://archived.moe/ck/thread/12750854/#12758332
are you talking about this?

>>13038736
What the fucj

>>13056789
Why did it have to go like this. It doesn't seem to be real all the shit that has happend in the past. The feels, they don't belong on this cooking board.

Now my dad is a sexpat in Thailand who I haven't seen in 9 years. We exchanged some e-mails but I have a real difficulty talking to him. He lives in Pattaya the past few years. Not sure what he's doing with his life other than baging gooks my age and using hard drugs. I haven't send him an e-mail in 3 years.

I've been implementing Thai cuisine a lot in my food though as some sort of homage to him, not sure why actually. He also always used to eat and give us unox liver pate on tiger bread. I quite liked this, and I've been buying CoolBest orange juice because this is what we drinked for breakfest at his place.

I also learned from my mom a few days ago he would eat frisian bread with strawberries on it, one of his favorite breakfast meals because it would make him shit good according to her. The next day I went to the store and I've been having the same breakfast ever since even though I dislike this rye bread. It's pathetic but I don't know why I'm clinging to this. It gives me some comfort.

>>13054780
damn, I thought you were gonna step up and make some kick ass stirfry

>>13027110
My mom worked nights and didn't make me dinner a lot so she taught me how to make pasta but she would just boil water and throw the pasta in. For years I would just eat a pot of pasta without salt or sauce or anything for dinner. Even know I prefer plain bland pasta to anything else.

>>13027110
>10yo
>helping my parents fry bread dough in boiling hot oil
>hit the handle by accident like a retard
>boiling oil splashes all over my hand and arm
>have to spend the night in the ER
>not allowed to help cook anymore
I still love fried dough though

>>13060372
based retard parenting.

>be me in seventh or eighth grade
>mom bans me from eating gluten, milk products or sugar because some lady told her so
>hides all of the sweets in our house and stops giving me an allowance so i can't buy myself anything
>my school lunch consisted of an apple and a sandwich made out of two loaves of bread and a slab of cheese substitute
>she once put activated charcoal in my bread to make it "more interesting"
>makes me take homeopathic pills which i later realized were just sugar
>this went on for like a year or two before she loosened up a bit
>mfw can finally eat all the shitty junk food that i want and she knows she can't do anything to stop me
coupled with the suicide threats and all the times she called me an emotionless monster i'm honestly surprised i didn't kill myself back then, but at least i got borgers now

here's another one
>be me in fourth or third grade
>dad comes over for a few days
>him and my mom won't stop arguing over whom i should live with
>realize that my dad wants me to like so i force him to go shopping for ingredients with me
>go back to his hotel room
>make vanilla pudding and add some m&m's to it
>the dye from the outer shell makes the pudding green
>pour into a cup and stick half of a kitkat into it
>mom could barely stomach a few bites and dad didn't even try it
>never saw him in person ever since

>>13061500
we call it shrek poo in my household

>>13034148

My dad put mushrooms, canned spaghetti sauce, and american cheese on a stack of big ass tortillas, baked it, and called it pizza. Somehow tasted worse than it sounds. My bipolar mom hit that night. Even though we had money we acted like trailer trash.

>>13063839
*hit him

>>13063839
every white family has done this

>>13034592
I would do the same thing. One time I fell down the stairs with one in my mouth and while I was lying on the floor at the bottom I exploded in muffled laughter. I think I realized I could have choked and died or broke my neck, but I was impossibly and completely fine, and it was hilarious to my 6-year-old self.

>>13063858
american mutts are not the same as whites

>>13036225
what kind of psycho parenting did you have LMAO

>>13030388
Kek

>>13051785
>eating hotsauce bread
I’ve definitely done this too many times

>>13027110
I ate beef stroganoff with my hand until I was like 10 or a bit younger. Thought it tasted better that way, and it did

>>13033451
This just made me realize how good I used to think my mom's cooking was. After I started cooking for myself I realized how staunchly opposed to using any actual ingredients my mom actually was. Everything was a mix, a packet, a box of this, just add water, etc. Then the food started tasting like the sort of quality you expect from a boxed mix and it just never tasted as good. That sort of pantry cooking seems to be popular with a lot of early gen x-mid/late boomer types so I don't particularly blame her.
Oh well-- nobody's perfect, and it's not like the food was bad in any way.

I used to spread butter on cheese slices and roll them up into a tube. There had to be enough butter on them for the butter to squeeze out the sides when you rolled them up. I called them "cheeserollies" and it was my favorite food until i was about 8 years old. I still make them for the sake of nostalgia sometimes but only in secret

>>13027110
I used to eat these weird squares that were just pieces of coconut but it was in squares from the Chinese market down the street.
When I moved, I couldn't get it and the internet had no clue what I was talking about when I googled it.
Luckily, a Japanese supermarket opened up nearby that has them.
So good.
It's candied coconut basically but in these squares.
Also Egyptian honeycake.

Also, I once went to this restaurant and asked if they changed their menu and the guy said "No, we didn't change the menu, I've been working here for a very long time and the menu's always been this way" and I asked him when did he start working there and he said "last christmas" and i was like "okay but I've lived here for 5 years" that guy's a fucking retard I hate him.

>>13027110
My dad poured himself a cup of coffee and added milk. Then he put black pepper in it. The black pepper floated on the surface of the coffee. He said "oops, I added pepper to my coffee" and got a fork. He attempted to remove the black pepper with the fork but it didn't work.

>>13065366
Sounds like something I'd do when sleepwalking.

My father used to stick cloves all over a spam loaf and cover it with brown sugar and bake it in the oven. We were poor. It actually wasnt bad.

>>13031282
when I was a kid I would pull the meat and stuff out of my sandwich so I could enjoy the bread and mayo by themselves at the end

When I was a kid I wouldn't eat any soup that isn't clear with 0 chunks or things in it and I had my aunts drain it for me to eat
After I grew a little older I stopped eating soups all together when it wasn't cute or appropriate for me to ask for drained soups anymore.
Years later I understood that the soups at home were left pot open to cool and insects do fall in them and it was served like that and as a kid I thought they were like those kind of disgusting flavorful things that I find disgusting and that's why I wanted them drained

>>13054102
Kys

Grew up pretty poor. Every Thanksgiving my mother would cook while my dad got drunk. He would always screw up the holiday by being mean as fuck, but my mom would roll leftover pie crust up with butter and cinnamon sugar on the inside, and call them twisters. I looked forward to them every year, and now that I have a house with kids of my own, I make the same twisters for them. Never realized when I was yiu younger it was just a way to recycle unused pie crust