/ck/ - Food & Cooking

She's extra cute in this one.

>>12972109
She looks very upset. I hope she doesn't try to spank my bottom or manhandle me in some other way.

Ugly witch.

>>12972109
Why are jannies nuking Claire threads? This is the 3rd one I have seen the last two just disappeared.

Who is this grey-haired, menopausal, middle-aged woman?

>>12972152
>Who is this grey-haired, menopausal, middle-aged woman?
Claire Saffitz, she is 33.

>>12972109
careful seething mods took the last one down

>>12972109
Pastry Chef attempts to be a gourmet version of the mod on /ck/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us3_8FxoAls

>>12972109
First to 404, Claire or Claire threads? Place your bets!

>>12972148
Yea but the thread about molly and her knifes have been up for 15 hours.
they seething

She claims to have never eaten a Hot Pocket before. How is that possible?

>>12972181
mods are Mollyfags confirmed

>>12972161
> 33
And you believe that, do you?

>dehydrater is back
top episode confirmed

Amazing episode

>claire will never punch, slap or knead you like her doughs

why even live

for real though those hot pockets she made look fucking great

Any ass shots?

>>12972240
I'd expect Claire's Hot Pockets to look good

>>12972146
Tpbp

>>12972244
yeah there are, but jannies are fierce

>>12972255
this. I would eat Claire's hot pocket

>>12972109
Are all americans this cute?

>>12972146
Don't you disrespect my /ck/ waifu!

Wtf???

>I've never had hot pockets before, I swear!

>>12972109
why is it 45 fucking minutes

>>12972594
busy work to keep her out of everyone else's way

>>12972109
nasty jewess claire the cow.

hope this shit thread also gets banned

fuck claire threads

rich bitch probably never had a hot pocket in her life

>>12972237
this is her squeezing every drop of cum out of my condom

>>12972109
>you will never be her loyal Sous Chef working late in the kitchen.
>obeying her kind but firm orders to the letter, she mentions she's stressed and you notice she's unkempt and hasn't even tied her shoelaces
>you bend down to tie them for her and she softly runs her fingers through your hair and caresses your jawline
>you're always my good boy she says
Why live when this will never happen?
Also this video seems pretty good for home baking, as good as the poptart one.

>>12972823
aaaaahhh mommy :(

>>12972109
>she didn't temper the cheese

>>12972861
Funny.

>>12972823
>And then you slowly start to suck her firm penis

I don't know why you guys like this old hag

>>12972130
No she's not.

>>12972909
she is super cute especially with straight hair

>>12972109
Brad's wife must suspect something. They mostly kept him out of the video.

>>12972919
No she's not, she's an insufferable cunt.

>>12972109
This shit is getting out of hand. Who the fuck wants to watch a 45m video about this. 15-20 was already pushing it on the early ones.

>>12972929
>t. incel who wants Claire to sit on his face

>>12973035
oh fuck, i just reverse creamed myself

I would eat her ass like a sodium deficient retard on bathsalts, if given the chance. Even if only to suck out a fart like an absolute mong.

>>12972109
i sure do love youtube celebrity threads!!! yay mommy claire!!!

>>12972109
Don't really understand the point of most of these. The foods she's making aren't very unique or difficult to do so her being a skilled chef doesn't mean anything.
There isn't much novelty to the videos to make them worth your time. Unless you want her to screw up pretty simple things for a half hour.

>>12972305
>Americans
>Cute
Lol

>nooo you can't post claire, only molly knives threads!!!!!

>>12973068
>t. soy boy

>no fat jewess gf
>tfw

>claire's fat ass has never had a hot pocket before

>She's not going to Auschwitz. I'd never do that to her. No, I want her to come back to Vienna with me. I want her to come to work for me there. I want to grow old with her.

>photos taken moments before disaster

>>12972975
Because she cute.

>>12972189
The word you need to look up is ethnocentric.

>"Today we're going to be making....*checks script*.. water."
>"I've never actually had water before, I always saw it in the store, but my parents never let me drink any."
>"Ok let me try this.
>*Drinks a tiny sip of water*
>"Wow, that's....gonna be a challenge."
>"Oh my god Chris, can you come over here and try this?"
>"Oh wow Claire, this water is really good, I haven't had any in ages."
>"I just need to figure out how I can make this gourmet."

>Not even an hour in and Claire is completely lost

>"Brad can you please help me? What do you think needs to stay for it to still be a glass of water?"
>"Well Claire, it needs to be wet for one."
>Clair looks like she's about to cry
>"I don't think I can make the water wet Brad this is going to be way too hard."

>I'll never bury my face in Claire's hot pocket

How does she make gray this cute? That's the recipe I wanna know

Claire has the 2nd coolest show on BA but she sucks at it and complains all the time.

>>12972109
I hate Gabby so fucking much. She never has anything to contribute. They talk to her like she's a child or someone's pet.

whats the best hot pocket flavour? gonna try some when i go to america

45 minutes to watch this Jew fold puff pastry? No, thanks.

All the fans wanted to see this twat hook up with Brad but old half-sour aint woman enough she look like she own about a dozen cats.

>>12973360
Oh cool she's not out of my league anymore.

So what's up with that ridiculously dyed hair in the front?

>>12972146
Shes a cute witch, anon.

>>12973692
She's a Jewess. A lot of them get that way as they age.

>>12973743
It's obviously dyed. A woman her age wouldn't have that much grey hair in such a convenient place for a trademark

>>12973743
It looks like it was sprayed with that silver hairspray you can get at CVS.

>>12973511
fucking kek

>>12973648
for me its ham and cheese. all the cheese and pizza ones taste the same.

>>12972161
>33
Fucking hell. I though she looked good for 50

>>12973511
Which one of you fags went and posted this on the video?

>>12972130
She's a turbo cunt when she's getting upstaged.

>>12972518
the bitch on the left obviously nonwhite. why are you surprised that their climper clampers look like nog handles?

>>12974316
I was expecting to see it greentexted there, but I guess that's OK.

>>12973646
>They talk to her like she's a child or someone's pet.
Well, she *is* Mexican.

>>12972823
holy shit you need to have sex ASAP

>>12974351
Argentinian

>>12972109
Why the fuck does everyone else in the kitchen look bright orange? How pale is Claire?

>>12974400
It's all the same. It's all brown.

>>12972189
Yup. She has made several ridiculous claims. Fuck this fake bitch. Her fake ass white hair is fake as fuck. It changes like crazy throughout the years. I stopped believing her lies about a year ago.

>>12972648
I didn't know she was a kike until I saw her last name. Lying like bitch.

>>12972923
I never saw what /ck/ was saying about how she wants his dick until I watched several videos. She's always screaming for brad all the fucking time, the looks and playfulness. It must suck for his wife.

>>12973256
She's not a skilled chef; she's a pastry chef, yet she struggles with everything.

>>12972109
I watched exactly 40 seconds of this bullshit. You all owe me 40 seconds of your lives. Slap yourself in the face (at an intensity of your choosing) for 40 seconds. I would never tell people to watch shit like this, be ashamed

>>12974570
you need to go back

>>12974342
No you don't get it, that's a man 100%. Old dude with a silver beard. Deep man voice, the nails are so confusing. He doesn't give off any tranny/gay vibe at all besides the nails.

>>12973648
pepperoni pizza

I would fuck Claire in the ass.

>>12972109
>put the bunny back in the box

>>12972881
>slowly
nigga that shit gonna be a hot dog eating contest

>>12972667
>thinking Claire would let you wear a condom
Lmao

>>12974614
>he doesn't give off a gay vibe at all

>>12972109
Her hoott pockets look like shit. She overthinks a completely basic recipe.

>>12972109
They should rename the series to say she's making artisan whatever she's making. She never aims to make a better version. She only tries to emulate it as closely as possible by hand.

>>12974605
Uo sucj me

>>12974800
Kek, I get the same messed up words when autocorrect fails.

>>12972189
She grew up in a rich, Jewish yuppie household. They didn't eat pleb food like that.

>>12972240
It's a meat pie. Claire is good at baking and meats. They just got done doing a whole series about the perfect pizza. This was a slam dunk for her from the beginning.

>>12974834
Iirc she said she had gushers once as a child. Fuck that life.

>>12972109
She nailed it on the first try. The further versions were not "gourmet" versions, but simply homemade versions of hot pockets. A gourmet version wouldn't be something that you would freeze and reheat.

>>12974450
they're all mexicans, jews or italians

>>12974863
That's what I don't get about this episode. The first ones looked amazing and she needlessly complicated the process. It shouldn't be a series about remaking the food exactly.

>>12974863
>>12974870
fucking idiots
you just don't get it, do you?

>>12974871
Her Jewish neuroticism leads her down an endless path of perfection?

>>12974871
rude

Everybody remembers where they were on that day in 1983 when Hot Pockets first appeared. It was a giant leap into the future. A miracle some called it, for nobody could seem to say where the Hot Pockets came from. They just existed. Food, and therefore humanity, would never be the same again. The efficiency, the culinary explosion, a modern miracle that truly served as an evolutionary step for all of mankind. An entire meal in a pocket that you could hold in your hand. Joy in the streets was met by existential dread. Where could humanity go from here? Had we truly reached our civilizational zenith? Religions formed over night, some might even say cults. But then a second flavor appeared. And then a third. And now over fifty, each richer and more complex than the last. Since that day in 1983, humanity has been on the precipice of our next phase of being, but for one obstacle in the way. How are you supposed to eat a Hot Pocket without burning the hell out of the inside of your mouth? I mean, come on. It’s crazy hot, but it’s seriously impossible to wait just five minutes until it comes out of the microwave. No, I need it now. Give me that Hot Pocket.

>>12972823
damn incels in full force in this thread as i see
jesus, famalam you should consider having sex

>>12974910
Back to r*ddit

Did Claire and Brad have a falling out or something? Their chemistry these past few months has been really fucking off...

>>12975014
We're not the only people who were shipping them, and Brad's married. I bet his wife saw the comments and had a thing or two to say to him.

Oh, and Claire has a BF now so she's not as hungry.

Is /ck/ really made of such poor trash that they can't believe a rich jew has never had nigger tier food? I grew up rich and we never had this shit in my house.

>>12975024
cringe

>>12975014
Brad was fucking her doggystyle but his dick slipped out and went up her asshole, she's been butthurt ever since

>>12975069
It's impossible to do that by a legitimate accident. Don't try this trick in real life. You will lose her trust forever.

>>12973394
>fat
>not chubby
dropped

>>12972109
you know all she eats it this shit she makes "gourmet" versions of
fucking disgusting

I'd cum on her fat tits and make her make me a cum tittie custard if you know what I mean

>>12974828
I've got fat fingers

>>12973648
pepperoni pizza without a doubt.
Also you should know: You can buy them in packages of 2, 5 and 12. Try grabbing one of each flavor for the 2 size packages to see which you like most.

>>12973646
I swear that goblin just walked into the studio one day and everyone's afraid that if they tell her to leave she'll put a gypsy curse on them or something.

>>12975024
Claire seems middle class, what makes you think her family is rich? Also Hot Pockets were super popular in the 90s when Claire grew up, you’d think she would’ve tried them at a friend’s house, a late night gas station, or when she was living in a dorm in college, even if her parents didn’t stock them in the house. My mom would never allow that crap either, but I still tried them in various places over the years. It’s just odd that she almost always says she hasn’t ever tried the product she’s recreating.

>>12973648
be sure to make them in an oven and not a microwave

Imagine she farted under a blanket and held your head down under it haha wouldn't that be funny

>>12975874
She’s Jewish and went to the most elite schools in three different countries.

>>12976391
>"I've never tried a Dutch Oven before, I swear!"

>>12972518
Damn look at the dick beaters on that one.

>>12972189
She has an incredibly strict diet, and NEVER eats candy or junk food.

>>12975874
She reeks of privilege. The hair, her mannerisms, her weight, etc. There is literally no way she grew up middle class.

>>12974570
>You all owe me 40 seconds of your lives.
well come here and let me fuck you

>>12973360
She's not Jewish

>>12976646
jesus fucking christ yessss

I would temper her chocolate
if you catch my drift

>>12976646
what a fat fuckin kike

But like... she never solved the exploding hot pockets... they published a recipe with a 3/4 failure rate.

>>12978233
She fucked up by not stopping after the first one.

>>12972189
Hot Pockets is goyim slop.

>>12978233
Most of her "gourmet" recipes are worse than the original and they are also not even healthier.
Yes guys, you would fuck her. I would also fuck the girl I saw on the street 5 minutes ago.

>>12972823
Quite the hypothesis, Anon.

>>12978247
dilate.

>>12976663
So how is she fat?

>>12972148
>third I've seen
>last two disappeared
Maybe because multiple threads keep getting posted about the same cooking "personality"

>>12978254
I have dilated your mother and 7 months later you were borned.

>>12972189
They have bourekas

>>12976646

>>12976646
LOL!
i too rewinded at that part a few times

>>12974614
lmfao did your cornfield just get wifi or something?

>>12974870
that's what the show has always been though. remember the twizzler episode and the rig to make the hole in the center?

>>12974523
Argentinians are white.

>>12973256
Claire suffering is half the fun.

>>12973648
Ham and cheese, of course you could just buy actual ham, cheese, and some nice rolls. Really if you can use a stove/oven unattended, then you probably don't need hotpockets unless you're intoxicated.

we really didnt get a Molly thread when she showed her thighs and makes porkchops sammichs?
>https://youtu.be/0olmZzsF4Xo

>>12976663
For the last fucking time before I track you guys down and rape your pets in front of you. She never says she doesn't eat junk food or never has. She even admits she mostly eats sugary shit because she's a baker. You fucks took a quote from one video where she said she didn't try a common junk food and made it meme. Everytime a claire video gets posted a few of you lie and say she's never tried the food she replicates.

Claire needs to leave and start her own company

>>12979415
There's no lie here, pal. She really hasn't ever eaten those disgusting treats. She's way too classy for such deviancy. Not to mention, she's in peak physical condition, thus, she cannot eat Snickers. I would go as far as to say that she would never have even heard of Snickers if not for her horrible producers forcing it onto her against her will as she shouted "No, please! I am too skinny, don't tell me about all those devilish snacks! I TAKE MY DIET VERY SERIOUSLY!!!"
I remember one time I went to Whole Foods, and Claire was sitting on a table to my left, as I was standing in line to order some greasy, hedonistic meat of some sort. I looked over to her bread bowl, and realized that there was no bowl at all! Her plate was covered in only the finest, most beautiful organic baby spinach leaves I had ever laid eyes upon. She looked at me and laughed "oh hi, I swear I usually eat better than this. It's gross, but there's not even an once of kale." I shook my head, and told her that I could never be as healthy as her. She tried to play it off as nothing, but I was incredibly impressed.
After I grabbed my bread bowl filled with beef and tomatoes and walked outside, I noticed Claire's table was empty. When I walked out of the store, I noticed that she started doing cartwheels back to her mansion, with no rest in between. She's nuts haha.

>>12979406
>Rapo straight up shitposting on both their videos
10/10

>>12978252
kek

>>12972667
>wearing a condom
lol pleb

>>12973511
+1

>>12979076

>>12974614
>doesn't give off a gay vibe
boy howdy you have 0 gaydar

>>12979493
kek

>>12972161
Nah mate, a solid 40 at least.

>>12980216
I dunno man I just didn't see it, what did I miss?

>>12974614
So what?

>>12973511
fukkin saved

>>12972109
I wanna fuck Claire
I wanna do so many unholy things to her frumpy middle aged looking Jewess ass that once written down would be considered too disturbing for vintage /b/. I wanna have some humiliation play where I make her temper chocolate, again, again, and again. I'll say she's to do it until she gets it right, but she won't. Ever. Then I'll properly temper chocolate the first time in front of Harvard culinary school educated face.

>>12979147
>Gabby is white
Absolutely not you fucking k*ke

>>12976391
Imagine being a weak enough beta numale soyboy to where your woman is able to force your head in a position against your will.

>>12973648
>best
Let's get something straight here: Hot Pockets are garbage food. They are supposed to be something that a shithead middle-to-high school kid who gets home before his parents can throw in the microwave because he's too ignorant to use an oven or know how to cook real dinner.

Best flavors are pepperoni pizza & ham and cheese. In that order. Everything else is weird.

>>12978107
Imagine believing that Claire isn't Jewish.

>The Jew is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him a Jew and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”

>>12983921
Kek, most Jewish thing I've ever read.

>>12978107
I’m from /pol/ and she set my Jewdar off instantly.

>>12972109
Claire sucks, she's jealous of Brad

F R A C T I O N A T E D PALM OIL.

>>12974910
Gold for you, sir.

>>12972146
Based

Claire needs to try out for MLB with how many different packages of ingredients she's being made to catch impromptu without a mitt.

everyone from this channel is annoying af apart from Carla and Brad. Hate to be that person but girl dye your hair...

>>12984403
Dude. Dying your hair grey and then dying it dark to hide the grey would be postmodern as fuck.

piebaldism is no joke

>>12976646
>>12976656
>>12978185
>>12978223
>>12978293

wanna no how I know how you guys are fat neckbeards?

>>12984452
Because we're posting on 4channel, obviously.

>>12983921
oy gevalt!

>>12984452
Same reason I can tell you’re menstruating. We both have psychic powers.

>>12972929
aww pee pee poo poo boy go back to jerking off to megan fox like a nigger

>>12972109
the dude with blue nail polish caught me off guard, fuck

>>12972109
i tried to make them myself

>>12985152
Did they taste good? They look alright.

God, I cannot stand how ugly she is.

>>12985296
>God, I cannot stand how ugly she is.
>ugly
You misspelled adorable.

>>12985293
yeah they were pretty good but i need more stuff on the inside next time i try and make them

>>12973743
look at that hair and tell me its not dyed

>>12972109
>It's a reverse pizza
Why not just say cheap calzone?

>>12973648
I always thought it was a given that the best was chicken and broccoli, but nobody else has even brought it up

>>12986185
It is. Watch her first videos and it's bigger, varies in amount and spreads or shrinks in areas. Lol, people fall for this fake kikess.

>>12986185
I know someone with the same "miss coloring". She has the same grey streak since she was 5 and nearly at the same place like Claire does. Dark haired people sometimes get grey spots very early in life. My mom got grey hair streaks at 30.

She's really not that hot and is easily flustered. Bitch made

Literal advertising. Fucking cancer

>>12972146
this desu famalam

>>12974316
I can't find it. Did they get ass hurt and delete it?

>>12972109
>ugly
>snobby
>fat
>rude
>Jewish
Yep, worst girl.

>>12985152
Following her recipe? You must be joking. That puff paste looks absolutely deficient. Did you make it yourself or use the premade stuff?

>>12986185
Pretty sure it's a birthmark discoloring her hair.

>>12988448
Shut up, retard.

>>12988462
You can see the splotch on her fucking kike skull, faggot.

>>12988483
That's not how birthmarks work Claire.

>>12988191
No. Everybody was saying it was one of the funniest things they've read. The comment probably just got buried over time. The comment system in YouTube has been messed up since Google started forcing people to use Google accounts.

>>12989094
>Everybody was saying it was one of the funniest things they've read
Sure they were, kid.

>>12986329
stromboli

>>12988191
I bet some idiot revealed their power level and everybody cried out "oh no, that's the racist website that trains people to kill" and rushed to get rid of it.

>>12975024
I coached tennis at a super 'exclusive' summer camp in upstate new york, ate kosher all summer. The rich little faggots sour refuse to eat steak on Sunday but would fist fight over Bologna cold cuts and yoohoo. I grew up BROKE and my parents never let me try bologna or yoohoo.

>>12973611
She's still trying when it comes to managing her hair. That, and she's not color-treating it. So it's staying healthy.