/ck/ - Food & Cooking

don't you have... like parents or a social worker or some kind?

>>12917126
It's not a stupid question.

But before I answer... how have you never been to a restaurant? How old are you? Where do you live? Details pls.

>>12917141
Late twenties, only fast food places, UK

>>12917126
this had better not be a real post

>>12917126
>Like, what if you want to sit at one of the tables outside, do you just sit there and wait for someone to come, or do you have to go inside and ask for a table
You go inside and ask to be seated. Ask "a table for one", they will ask if you want a table inside or outside (if they have table outside).
>And then when the bill comes and you put your card in the little tray, do you have to call the waiter again to come back or do you just wait for them to come back
Ask for the bill and the card terminal.
>And what if it's super fancy, do you say "I'd like the rabbit followed by the beef" like in the Trip?
If you want.
>Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish
No, no one will laugh.
>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners? or if it's just groups only
Never been refused a table. I eat alone 3x/day, 5days/week, breakfast, lunch, dinner at restaurants everywhere across France.

>>12917157
Based French poster. Thanks, man
Are the food in these pleaces you eat good? Do you have any pics of it? Im curious

>>12917157
Thank you

>>12917164
>>12917178
curious as well, how can two people posting on a food board not know how restaurants work...

>>12917143
Fair enough.

Ok, so, you go in the front door first and look for the host/hostess station, which should be obvious and central. It looks like a large podium. The person there will ask you how many in your party (solo diners are rarely an issue anywhere), if you'd like to sit on the patio, etc., and then someone will take you to your table and hand you a menu.

Someone, usually your server, will come by and take a drink order-- there's often a drink menu if you can't decide. When they return with your drink, they'll ask you if you want an appetizer and/or if you're ready to order. Don't be shy about letting them know you need a few more minutes if you haven't decided... that's why they call them waiters!

When you order, there's no hard-and-fast rules about what exactly you say to them. They just need enough information to know what it is you want... For example, "I'd like to start with the calamari, and then I'd like the wasabi-crusted sea bass", or whatever. If there are choices to be made, like medium rare, or vegetable choice, etc., let them ask you, as it helps them keep it straight in their head and on their pad, meaning you have less chance of the order going in wrong.

During the meal, the server should be checking on you periodically to see that you have everything you want, but if there's something you need (another fork, drink, condiment, etc.) try to make eye contact with the server and make a small motion with your arm, like a raised hand or finger, indicating that you'd like them to stop by your table. Be patient- remember, they have several other tables to attend to.

At the end of the meal, the server will ask you if you'd like dessert, and will bring a dessert menu if you'd like. At some point, they will drop of the check in a tray or small folder. Place your payment inside, and they will pick it up and then return with either your change or your credit card receipt to sign. In America, this is where the tip is added.

The end.

1. No matter where you plan to sit, you must walk in. In most places, there will be a small table for the hostess. The hostess might not be there. Wait at the table for the hostess to return. She will then ask you how many guests will be sitting at your table.

2. Even if you're eating alone, tell her that you're expecting one more person. This avoids the problem if they do not serve solo diners.

3. As she is leading you to your table, make your seating preference known. Once you sit down, you must stay at that table for the duration. So if you want a window or outdoor table, tell her before you sit down.

4. Immediately begin to read the menu, and choose an appetizer. The serve will arrive with two waters and bread rolls. Explain to him that you're waiting for someone, but you're hungry, so you would like to order an appetizer. You can also order a beer or cocktail here.

5. Eat the appetizer and drink your drink while reading the main courses menu. Once your drink is empty, the server will come over to refill it. At this point, and not a moment sooner, tell him that your date is running behind, but you're going to go ahead and order your meal instead of waiting.

6. When you order, you must say the entire name of the meal. If it involves meat that is cooked to order, just say medium for everything. If they give you an option for your two sides, have those already prepared. I suggest using a writing pad, and writing out your order first.

7. Halfway through your meal (usually your second refill), mention casually to the server that your date had to reschedule. NEVER SAY YOUR DATE CANCELED, JUST WON'T BE COMING TODAY. This is key for surviving socially.

8. By the time you finish your meal, it will be time for either a to-go box for leftovers, another refill, or dessert.

9. Tip 15% of the pre-tax amount as a standard. Only deduct from this if you had to wait any more than 3 minutes for a refill. Only tip extra if the server was a cute girl.

>>12917164
I eat everywhere, from 3 stars restaurants to mcdonald's. I don't give a shit anymore. When I'm too tired I just use the hotel restaurant. Some times I order 2 (same) main dish and ask the waiter to put everything in the same plate. I usually ask him to bring every, the entrée, main dish and desert.
Friday I was in Poitiers:
https://restaurants.accorhotels.com/fr/restaurant-8539_R001-les-archives-poitiers.shtml

>>12917191
>This avoids the problem if they do not serve solo diners.
Is there places where they don't serve solo diners ???

>>12917187
>make eye contact

>>12917193
God damn, French poster, you must rich
The food looks delicious

>>12917204
lmao

>>12917183
I can post on /lgbt/, doesn't mean I know how the faggot factory works.

>>12917187
Thank you for putting the effort into this post.

>>12917209
All expenses paid by my boss.

OP, if you could have someone guide you, what would your first restaurant be? What type of food? Just curious.

>>12917234
What are you, a sleeper agent laying low in France?

>>12917245
No, I'm just the retard who accept to wake up at 5 am to take a plane/train to Nice or Bordeaux or wherever someone call in sick. It has destroyed my social life but the salary is too good to stop.

>>12917282
And what do you exactly? Im curious now
You eat for freeee

>>12917241
Maybe a French brasserie, or an avant-garde/artsy place

>>12917331
>brasserie
Those both seem a little different. what would I take you for? drinks? some wine and a couple small plates? jump straight to a full course? are you big on dessert?

>>12917353
A full course meal with dessert, and a bottle of wine

>>12917126
>Like, what if you want to sit at one of the tables outside, do you just sit there and wait for someone to come, or do you have to go inside and ask for a table
Some restaurants have clearly visible signs saying "wait to be seated" and a greeters desk.
In those that don't you can usually just sit wherever, but if you want to be polite you look for a waiter/waitress/greeter/bartender that doesn't seem too busy and ask them "excuse me, I fancy that table outside on the patio, can I take it?".

At that point they think "is this guy fucking retarded?" and show you the "please wait to be seated" sign that you completely missed. But no sweat, just smile - looking at them of course - and say "Oh, of course, how silly of me, I must have missed it", and you go to wait there for the greeter who must have left.

Restaurants can be daunting to people not used to them, I get that, but they aren't staffed by demons, just regular people. If you are considerate of them and polite there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions if you are not sure. Just don't apologize, you haven't done anything wrong by asking. I always say it's better to ask ten stupid questions than to make one stupid mistake.

>>12917126
>And what if it's super fancy, do you say "I'd like the rabbit followed by the beef" like in the Trip?
Say it however you want. If it's one of those fancy ones where they bring you stuff in courses then the waiter will probably ask you "do you want A as a starter and B after, or bring it all together?". And you say which option you want. It really doesn't fucking matter because you can eat your meal however the fuck you want.

If you want to fuck with them tell them you want the main dish first and the appetizer after it. Will they think it's weird? Probably. Should you give a shit? Absolutely not, it's your meal.

>Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish
If they are an asshole, maybe snicker, but if they do you just leave no tip.

The "no singles policy" is a big fat meme, at most it might apply to restaurants that are both very fancy and very busy and operate on reservations only, but even then probably not

Anything less than that and there's nothing wrong with eating alone, and any place with a bar it's practically encouraged

>>12917126
>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners? or if it's just groups only
All of them.
And if you somehow manage to fine that single one that has some kind of retarded policy like that(which you won't) and they tell you so(which they won't) you just ask "is that a joke?". Because it probably is a joke.

>>12917187
thanks anon

>>12917398
That's the thing, if it's super busy and you ask to take up a whole table by yourself, it would be a bit weird

>>12917439
>to take up a whole table by yourself, it would be a bit weird
Only if the bar is mostly packed and they expect more groups to come.

And besides, when I'm alone I prefer sitting at the bar anyway.

1. Easier access to the bartender and drinks
2. No wait whatsoever for the seating
3. Quicker paying, cash and card reader is there
4. Can possibly meet someone to talk to

>>12917226
were you in foster care or something? just really poor? low functioning autist?

>>12917191
>2. Even if you're eating alone, tell her that you're expecting one more person. This avoids the problem if they do not serve solo diners.
Stop memeing this shit. It's not a thing.

>>12917191
>7. Halfway through your meal (usually your second refill), mention casually to the server that your date had to reschedule. NEVER SAY YOUR DATE CANCELED, JUST WON'T BE COMING TODAY. This is key for surviving socially.
I seriously hope someone is autistic enough to do this for real. I hope their anxiety goes to 11 when they say this shit and stumble embarrassingly through each word stuttering and almost have a heart attack from the sheer amount of awkwardness.

I'd love to have it on video. Including the spaghetti spilling from the pockets.

>>12917457
Are you the French anon

>>12917516
Nah, I'm the Polish anon.

But we might have similar ways of doing things. I've been eating in restaurants almost every day for the past two years as I've been traveling. I work remotely and I live from AirBnbs. Different city every month or so.

>>12917187
Based

I don't often go fine alone but when I do it's top tier comfy

>>12917528
This is the life I want to have.

>>12917541
Go for it, there's more and more remote jobs out there. All you need is a laptop and internet. You might take a pay cut depending on the field, but if you like traveling it is the only way to go.

I find that spending a month in a city is much more enjoyable and interesting than doing what people who travel during vacation do. I mean scheduling everything as tightly as possible so they only have 2-3 days in each city. It's a fucking nightmare, you get so fucking stressed about missing flights or buses, it's fucking retarded.

I do my traveling nice and chill. No rush whatsoever. I also see more of the cities I live in since I walk everywhere. And really, the best part about traveling is stumbling upon great restaurants by pure luck(and a trained eye).

>>12917126
you go to a restaurant and ask to suck the waiter's dick

>>12917126
I usually just sit on the floor until someone working there asks what im doing. sometimes they offer a place to sit too

>>12917126
did they film at the same table as american psycho

>>12917554
Whenever I say I want to do this people laugh and think I'm an idiot.

People just don't want to admit that they've squandered their time in jobs that constrain them

>>12917620
>People just don't want to admit that they've squandered their time in jobs that constrain them
There's something to that I'm sure. But they might just be thinking that you(like they themselves) wouldn't have the self control to work if you weren't in the office, stuck there, forced to work under supervision. Many people have that objection, they can't comprehend working while at home.

Another part is that yes, people do waste TREMENDOUS amounts of time just commuting to work. Even if your commute is just 30 min you are still wasting 240 hours a year of time(probably more). Not to mention the stress of the commute.

While people are stuck in traffic, I'm chatting with coworkers on my laptop while having a nice and chill breakfast in a restaurant or my kitchen. And I'm more productive this way than I was working in an office too. But I'm sure it's not for everyone. If you don't like your job you will be slacking off and probably not hold onto that job for too long.

>>12917628
I've never really heard that argument against remote work before. But you're right.

>>12917126
>Like, what if you want to sit at one of the tables outside, do you just sit there and wait for someone to come, or do you have to go inside and ask for a table
Depends on the type of restaurant.
Some are reservation only. Some are reservation recommended. Basically you call and set up a set time for you to have dinner. Then you just show up at the front entrance. There'll usually be someone at a small desk or podium who'll confirm your reservation and have someone seat you. Some are no reservation but offers priority seating.
Basically it's the same as calling in a reservation. But you don't reserve a table, you get put on a list that'll give you priority queue to be seated at a free table.
Some are just first come first serve.
If there's a specific restaurant you're interested in, check their yelp or webpage.

>And then when the bill comes and you put your card in the little tray, do you have to call the waiter again to come back or do you just wait for them to come back
Essentially yes and depends on the restaurant.
If you're at a regular restaurant, make eye contact with your server and raise your hand in the air. They'll know to come asap.
If you're at a nice restaurant, just wait to make eye contact and they'll come. Also most nice restaurants will let you leave your card with the waiter or busser when you're seated and they'll automatically charge(and take gratuity). So when you're done eating and given your check, you'll have already paid and just get up and leave.

>And what if it's super fancy, do you say "I'd like the rabbit followed by the beef" like in the Trip? Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish
If you're at a fancy place, a server will never, ever laugh at you or make you feel stupid.

>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners? or if it's just groups only
They won't turn someone away for eating solo. They don't want to burn bridges with people willing to eat there.

>>12917126
Walk in. If there is someone to greet you, be like "Hi there how are you?" they respond. "Cool, it's just me, should I grab a seat wherever, or?" if not they will guide you to an appropriate table, if you do have a choice just pick literally any fucking table. Unless things are busy you should have some choice but may not be afforded the luxury at high traffic venues. Once at the table it is customary to order a drink first. If you choose to order a drink, the waiter/waitress will leave and come back with said drink, and this is your opportunity to look at the menu. If you do not order a drink just say that you'll need time deciding what to get. The waiter/waitress will excuse themselves and will soon be back to take your order, and again, this is your opportunity. Choose whatever the fuck you want and can afford, when the waiter/waitress comes back, elaborate on your order in as much detail as possible, if you want ingredients excluded, make sure to do so. The waiter/waitress will then leave and at this point you are simply waiting for your food to arrive. You're welcome.

>>12917126
>tfw when eating alone and I get a table before all the other normies

>>12917848
How do you tip if you're paying by card?

>>12917187
>that's why they call them waiters!
10/10 post

>>12918058
theres a tip percentage ez option. pre defined numerical valkues like 15% 20% etc or you can option for custom amount. The waiter will say thanks you regardless they get a tip or not. If they don't they are bad at their job

>>12918316
What about if you pay by cash and you want your change back instead of tipping, is there a form you have to fill out

Bump

>>12917401
>"Can I get a table for one"
>No
"What"
>*Laughs* of course
Why do they keep doing this to me?

>>12919762
Nah, you just stand there staring back at them until you get your change. They'll realize after a few awkward moments.

>>12917126
>Like, what if you want to sit at one of the tables outside, do you just sit there and wait for someone to come, or do you have to go inside and ask for a table

Just go in, some places you can just sit, but most of the time a server will say hi and you say how many many people in your party so they can get you the right size table. If it's just you, just say 'one person' or sometthing

You wait for someone to come usually, if you want to sit at a table outside just ask if they have any free tables out there and they'll show you

>And then when the bill comes and you put your card in the little tray, do you have to call the waiter again to come back or do you just wait for them to come back

Depends. In the UK you need to wait. In Asia you can just put up your hand. Follow the local rules

>And what if it's super fancy, do you say "I'd like the rabbit followed by the beef" like in the Trip? Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish

Usually I'd just name the main constituent like the beef or whatever but it depends, no one will care

>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners? or if it's just groups only

No restaurant has such a policy

Though some restaurants its less advisable, e.g. going to a big round-table dim sum place here in HK on your own wouldn't be great as its designed for groups, but in theory you can do it no problem, just wouldn't do it if its busy.

Just don't overthink it m8

>a thread that actually helps out poorly socialized anons
i wish these weren't as rare.

>>12921749
/ck/ has a different culture from the rest of the boards

I hope it never changes

>>12918058
Either
>they'll hand you the terminal and there's a bit you can enter a tip
or
>you ask them to put a certain amount on the bill, so if your meal is $30 you could say "put $35 on that" or whatever, it's understood as a tip. This seemed to be normal in Holland from seeing Dutch friends do this
or
>pay, then leave some cash as a tip on the table before you leave

>>12917187
That's wonderful, well thought out advice. Too bad you negated it with a racist picture.

>>12921749
>>12921754
Even on a website as jaded as 4chan, there are still a precious few who cling to a little bit of hope and goodwill towards their fellow man.

>>12918058
you write in a tip amount on the little slip they have you sign

Nobody on 4chan goes out to eat except maybe at mall foodcourts or hospital cafeterias.

>>12917126
>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners? or if it's just groups only

never been in a place with such a policy. If its really busy and its a more casual place I've shared tables with strangers before. Not a big deal.

Start off small and go to a tavern (preferably with your friends or dnd buddies or whatever).
Just walk to the counter, get a beer, go to a table.
Look at the menu while there, go and order, then sit down again.
Easy.

I have a question for UK people. when you ask for the bill and you want to pay by card do you just put your card in the tray / bill folder and wait for them to come back with the card machine or when you ask for the bill do you have to tell them you will be paying by card so they know to bring the machine? I have social anxiety so when im in a new situation I like to make sure i know 100% how the social interaction will take place in my head so i dont embarrass myself.

>>12917628
Sounds like you have a very comfy life. What do you do for work?

>>12917628
I read on the train. The idea of time being 'wasted' is kinda dumb.

>how do you ask for the bill

i just raise my hand and snap my fingers loudly
when the waiter looks at me i make a signing gesture with my hands

works every time

>>12922988
In my experience you should just mention that you want to pay buy card when you ask for the bill and then they'll know to bring the machine.

>>12917126
Always ask for a table because there's a chance they'll all be reserved, request a specific one if you want and see if the server can provide.

Ask to pay by card, they'll get to you as soon as possible. If you pay by cash leave the cash in the tray and wait for them to come back around, they'll get your change, or you can just leave and they'll keep the rest as a tip.

No they won't.

Not being allowed to go somewhere without a date is a /tv/ meme and 99% of restaurants see any customer as money, why would they turn you away?

Have a good time anon.

>>12923001
Gigolo.

>>12923793
the thing is whenever I've asked for a table the host always looks at me like it's very obvious that I can just sit wherever, I feel like I may have asked in the wrong way or something

>>12923021

Snapping at people is rude anon, I just clap my hands and make seal noises.

>>12921923
The picture is not racist.

>>12924362
>throwing on ebonics just because they are black isn't racist
I'm not stupid, don't be a coward and admit it.

>>12924382
>I'm not stupid
uhhm... anon...

>>12924096
In expensive restaurants you usually ask for a table, in cheaper ones you don´t. It also depends on the country you are in.
They way you can tell is simple, when you walk in and a waiter immediately greets you, and waits for a response from you, then they want you to ask for a table. If you are ignored then its safe to assume that you can pick any table you want.

>>12917126
>go in take a sea
>wait for a waiter to bring you a menu
>when waiter brings menu usually will offer you a drink order what you want to drink
>waiter leaves
>decide what you want to order
>waiter comes back order food in order good waiters will bring you your food accordingly soup/salad first etc.
>when done ask for check when waiter goes by
>pay
>leave
Expensive high tear restaurants have different rules but it's the same basic concept

>>12924382
You are stupid, actually.

>>12923793
There's usually an indication on the table that the table is reserved

>>12924403
>>12924452
https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/were-only-human/is-racism-just-a-form-of-stupidity.html

>>12924382
can you not be a fucking snowflake? gtfo

>>12924488
owned by a pop-psych blog that changes it's tune every year because studies aren't reproducible
psychology isn't science
stupid nigger

Do you have to ask to sit at the bar of the restaurant or do you just walk in and sit there

>>12924449
When I get the bill the waiter didn't come back for ages, so I just stood up and walked over to podium, and the waiter looked surprised and said "is everything ok"?

Is it my fault for not being patient and waiting longer, is it normal to wait a long time to pay after receiving the bill?

>>12924586
I bet when you post a study and people call it bullshit, you reply with "cope."

>>12924382
>I'm not stupid
Bold assumption

>>12924488
Well if der Juden tell me my natural instincts are evil then it must be true.

>>12924668
Good waiters usually check if everything is alright. I think if the waiter hasn't checked on you 10 minutes after you've done eating (if you're alone) then he screwed up. It's normal for the waiter to forget about a table for 20-30 minutes if you're in a group

>>12924866
If I'm alone and he takes 15mins should I just leave without paying?

This whole fucking thread is why /ck/ is the best board

like seriously

>>12924879
No. Just get over your anxiety and ask for the bill. Is it really that hard to get a waiters attention when they walk by and say "excuse me, could you bring me the bill/check" ?

>>12924879
just go to the cash register and pay..
or signal the waiter over

you're overthinking it too much

>>12924382
Fuck you racism is funny

>>12917126
why are you afraid of walking into a restaurant and doing it wrong the first time? You can learn through failure anon.

Last time I went to a restaurant alone, I had to pay a singles surcharge. $8. Fucking huge scam.

>>12924894
>>12924895
I think I'll just walk out if that happens. 15 minutes is fair.

>>12924972
They’ll call the cops on you, you’ll go to jail and be raped by Tyrone

>>12917187
Posters like you are the reason I still have faith in this site

>>12924810
>no u
Try harder, mein negro

>the whole restaurant is full and the only seats left are at the bar section in front of the staff/bartender/cooks

would you take it?

>>12917126
>if you want to sit at one of the tables outside
book in advance and ask for the table you want
>do you have to call the waiter again
nope, waiters should be aware enough to come
>Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish
Will sound a little silly - just ask for the beef, or the soup, or the fish
>>12917143
If you're in or around London I'll take you out kiddo
As for solo dining, I've done it all over - from little bistros to 3 star joints - most will be more than happy and often make an effort to keep you interested

>>12925666
>666
Checks out

I do happen to be in London, if you'd like to go out to eat

i actually went to a kbbq place solo once and they told me they only seat groups of two or more. they made me take my order to go

>>12924967
That is unbelievable

>>12926343
what restaurant?
I mean I understand there are some places where solo doesn't make sense, like >>12926313, but to seat you and then toss an extra charge is insanity.

>>12926368
was meant for >>12924967

>>12917187
Good post

>>12924488

>>12926298
I am in town tomorrow, give me a call
07908949221

If they have a greeter ask for a table outside. If they don't sit and wait for service. If their waiters don't come to you or there aren't any then find a register and order.

Depends on the place, but a tray usually indicates they'll come back. Wait for a bit and if they don't come then walk to the register and pay.

You don't say you'll have X followed by Y. You order and entree and a main and they will figure it out. They won't laugh at you and it's better that saying I'll have the beef which will irritate the waiter if there's more than one beef dish.

All restaurants allow solo diners. Though I consider solo dining a personal failure so would never (except for a cafe or fast food place).

>>12924879
If you want the cops called and your picture given to them

>>12924967
>>12926343
Makes sense, you are taking up a table that usually pays $60+ with drinks to $20 if that

>>12926519
This seems like a bad idea. Normally you would post a throwaway e-mail in your post, then the person would respond, I imagine cipher through some fake ones, and then you would give them your number.

What is a la carte

>>12926647
> Though I consider solo dining a personal failure so would never (except for a cafe or fast food place)

Why

>>12927011
>attempt to obtain dining partner
>fail
>go alone
>feel lonely
>couples and groups of friends everywhere reminding you that you don't belong here
No thanks.

>>12927068
>attempt to obtain dining partner
That's your mistake. Treating yourself to a comfy lunch/dinner alone can be enjoyable.

>>12927074
yea I really want that dining partner

>>12924879
Have your card ready when the server brings the bill so that they can take it right away instead of waiting for them to come back for your card.

>>12927090
How much time do you spend alone? It's very pleasurable, you should try it.

>>12927284
So what do you say exactly, "can I have the bill and bring the card machine too"? Or "can I have the bill and pay by card"? Or "can I have the bill" whilst flashing your card at them?

>>12927365
all of it anon

>>12927367
I've never seen them bring the card machine to the table. They always take the card to the server station where the computer/register is. So you just hand them the card when they bring the bill or even hand the card over when you say you want to pay, so they can just take care of it with no extra steps. But I imagine you would ask for the bill and card machine and let them know you are ready to pay with your card. They will understand that you want to pay faster and won't mind having to go through fewer steps.

>>12927399
Thank you

>>12925666
FUCKING BASED CHECK EM

>>12926519
im gonna text u and send u pictures of pizza. get pranked

>>12917187
as much as i love shitposting, I love the effort ppl put into serious posts

>>12926519
I hope you like anonymous photos of penises friend

>>12927001
the dish on its own without anything else

>>12917126
I completely get being afraid of restaurants with odd rules since one time I went to a self seating restaurant with a few people and sat down. Nobody ever came to even give us menus in literally 20 minutes or so, so we just had to leave. I'll never eat self seating again.

>>12917126
Damn. So much sad and pathetic.

1. You wait for them to come to you. Some restaurants have an outside area but require you to order inside but these are really rare. If they have outside tables with shit like little vases of flowers and table cloths etc., then they will have wait staff to come outside. Just sit and someone will come out eventually with a menu. If they don’t, wait five minutes then go inside and ask for a waiter and menu.

2. You can always eat alone. Take a book or laptop with you if you feel awkward. Nobody will pay the blindest not of notice to you.

3. The waiter will come back with the card machine or to take your card inside if the card machine is fixed. You don’t need to do anything once you put the card in the little book with the receipt on the tray.

4. You can say the whole name of the dish. In fact, it’s fancier, though, just to say “the beef” or “the duck or whatever”. Even if it’s in another language, it’s a actually classier to say it in English. So, if you want what says ‘bouef et haricot’, you can point to it and say ‘I will have the beef, please’. Always say ‘please’ when ordering, and ‘thank you’. Americans have an ugly habit of saying “I want” or “bring me” which is excruciatingly rude. You always say “May I have...” or “I would like...”. No exceptions.

Go out and eat on your own. It’s a really good thing to do.

>>12929296
>So much sad and pathetic.
Uhhh this is a no bullying zone.

>>12929296
Hmm, some of your advice conflicts with other posts in this thread.

>>12929598
Got to take into account personal perception and difference in social behavior depending on location

>>12917191
This is top kek

>>12929598
Irrelevant. I guarantee I’m the oldest person in this thread and the most experienced with eating out. I didn’t even bother checking what anyone else said because nobody will know better than me. Take it or leave it.

>>12929727
Lmao yeah I'll follow your advice if I wanna eat out like a Boomer.

>>12929727
>oldest person in this thread
Over 56? If not, then you aren't, zoomer..

>>12929296
Insulting anonymous strangers doesnt raise your social status, anon. Grow up.

>>12919762
>is there a form you have to fill out?

>>12929906
no u

>>12929296
We all saw your other post bitching about this, dilate

I left without paying because she took like 20 minutes. They did call the cops.

>>12929727
It doesn't sound like you even wanted to give any advice. Passive-aggression is very juvenile behaviour.

>>12929727
>>12930267
I just don't understand why even retards like this still think that "YOU MILDLY DISAGREED WITH ME SO I'M GOING TO CLAIM TO BE OLDER THAN YOU AND CLAIM THAT WHAT YOU SAID IS IRRELEVANT AND WRONG BY SOME STANDARD I REFUSE TO EXPLAIN BUT I'M STILL GOING TO TYPE OUT ENTIRE PARAGRAPHS IN A CONDESCENDING TONE JUST TO SHOW HOW COOL AND SMART I THINK I AM!!!!!" is going to work on anyone.

>>12924382
fuck off nigger

>>12930300
I wonder how old he actually is

>>12931934
I'm 37, if you really must know.

>>12917187
>This post contains the understanding of the autistic language and has taken time to translate socials norms into a comprehensive code with which the autist can understand and reproduce.

I like this post

I really really like this post.

If you're in the UK it works like this:

You go inside, wait at the clearly signposted table / stand that says "please wait here to be seated", a waiter comes up to you and says hello, you then say "table for 1/2/3". If you want to sit outside you add in after "would it be possible to sit outside?". They'll normally say yes after a quick glance to see if there's a free table there.

When the bill comes you can put your card in the tray or you can mention as you request the bill "I'm paying by card" and they'll know to bring the machine over. If you're in a rush and they're being slow to come bring you the machine, you can go up to the till if someone's there and just pay there, they'll understand.

You just say what you want. Normally you can just say "the chicken" or "the beef", but I tend to specify a bit extra just incase there's more than 1 type of dish containing the main ingredient. If it's pasta, for example, I'll say the whole dish name.

Normally they allow solo diners. If there's a bar that has seating you can normally guarantee you'll be able to sit there solo, but most places will give you a table, unless they're super busy or super up themselves.

Just remember that restaurants are a business, they want your custom. Don't be afraid to ask questions, you'll find that staff are mostly helpful. They won't laugh at you, they won't call people round to look at the loser, they'll be accomodating because it's their job to do that.

>>12931949
>if you really must know

>>12931949

>>12917126
>Like, what if you want to sit at one of the tables outside
Go in, ask the "host"- the person who first greets you, if you can sit on the patio.
>And then when the bill comes and you put your card in the little tray, do you have to call the waiter again to come back
You wait.
>Will someone laugh at you if you say the entire name of the dish
Not at all- the servers get a lot of orders all day, they have heard dozens of spoonerisms, stutters, and slip ups, they will probably not even register some slight over formality.
>And how can you tell whether a restaurant allows solo diners?
They all do- if you find a slightly more casual place with a counter it will be less awkward to seat yourself there.

>>12917126
I don't know. I've only ever ate at strip clubs.