/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I like rice but I regularly manage to fuck it up, maybe I should get a rice cooker if I'm that incompetent with a standard pot. But currently I'm on an electric stove and that really doesn't help.

>>12913101
you can pick up a usable rice cooker that can also double as a steamer for like fifteen bucks. go on, do iiiiiiit

>>12913004
>be cooking with bf
>ask him to peel some potatoes
>after a while he tells me he's done
>tell him to clean up the mess he made in the sink
>comes around behind me and says "oops I forgot to peel this one haha"
>starts fondling my dick and peeling the foreskin
>mfw

Once left eggs boiling in water.......for a few hours. Got high and forgot them, needless to say had to get a new pan

>>12913004
>tv dinner
You could have stopped there.

>>12913004
>7 years old
>visiting grandparents
>grandpa is talking to his sister and her husband on the front porch
>want to heat up cheese on a biscuit but don't want to inconvenience him, decide I'll do it myself
>put cheese on biscuit, stick it in microwave, and set timer for 4 minutes
>grandpa comes running in 3 minutes later to find a solid brick in the microwave with smoke coming out

One of my grandma's favorite stories, miss my grandpa a lot, he got an absolute kick out of the incident

>>12913004

>made some caramel for a recipe
>forgot to rinse out the residue caramel while it was hot
>cold caramel now stuck to bottom of pan
>I pour some water in and leave it to boil
>Once all the caramel's dissolved I'll just dump it down the sink
>Forget to check on it
>Pan ends up encrusted with carbon

also

>just starting out learning how to cook in college
>made something in a small glass baking dish, can't remember what
>was tired as fuck so didn't clean it
>food bits stuck to it and really hard to scrape off
>fill it with water and set it to boil on the stove
>come back to check on it
>the glass shatters from the heat, sending boiling water, glass shards, and food everywhere
>If I'd been a foot closer I'd have gotten boiling water all over my legs
>absolute bitch to clean up
>a year later a girl I had over for the first time steps in that area and shrieks in pain, lifts her foot to find a shard of glass stuck in it

OP your story-

>>12913220
Faggot.

>be teenager
>decide to make chocolate strawberry ice cream
>instead of looking up how ice cream is made, I dump a bunch of frozen strawberries and chocolate milk into a blender
>blend the fuck out of it and freeze it in a Tupperware
>8 hours later I'm confused as to why it turned into a block of brown ice

>want to cook pasta and steam broccoli
>think I can save energy by using the same pan
>Pasta keeps boiling over

>decided to try some deep frying
>pour oil into the pan
>turn on the heat
>waiting for it to boil
>15 minutes later still waiting
>start wondering why it takes so long and why is it getting harder to breathe
>turn around
>entire appartment is covered in thick layer of smoke
Hehe whoopsie guess I'm retarded

>last week
>Invite grill over to make pizza
>She's 20 mins late and I get annoyed so I just assemble the ingredients on the premade base
>Oven is roasting hot at 575 like I read online
>She arrives
>Awkwardly tell her I already made everything
>Put pizza in oven
>Go outside for 15 minutes
>Smoke alarm starts blaring and apartment is full of smoke
>Pull out black hockey puck and scrape off the cheese and chicken
>We sit in silence eating stringy and dry chicken breast chunks
>She leaves and blocks my number

I have tons but none come to mind so I'll share a friend's.
>friend wants to do something nice for his mom (rare)
>decides to bake a boxed cake
>already in the oven when i arrive
>we go to check it
>runny, flat, vaguely orange
>concern mounts
>friend pulls it out, starts wiggling it
>casually pick a bag out of the box
>label says batter
>hmm, check empty bag
>dude you cooked the frosting
>no mother-son bonding here, his mom got mad
Hot frosting tastes bad, too.

You ever burn a pop tart and send your house into smoke? I had that happen