/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12900511
Fuck I forgot my own submission
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjjARzbqdgM

No one will ever touch Masaokis

anyone remember the guy, i think he was Scandinavian, that had a filthy dingy apartment and was making some horrible dish of macaroni and potato and he was like biting the carrots into the food. then put a bunch of water and processed cheese slices in it?

it was so horrible that i want to see it again

>>12900515
is she in a bathroom?

>>12900598

Yeah I remember that finnfag. grabbing dirty plates out of the freezer and making really strange food. Macaroni and potato soup with literal Kraft singles on top.

>>12900598
>>12900700
might be wrong, but was it this guy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfGAVLIXB4g

>>12900700
actually I think I found what you were talking about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K0sFKg7M4s

Marie's famous tomato-infused canola oil

>>12900806
Fucking god damn it motherfucking shit ass bitch balls cunt nigger ass fuck shitting dick farts
https://youtu.be/1-I2LEB_AxY

>>12900785
>>12900793

Fuckin' A anon, that's the guy. I have so much trouble remembering his name. Though his living conditions are abominable, there's something comfy about it. I remember another anon a long time ago saying he was a computer hacker that got caught by the finnish government and was on some kind of weird house arrest. Can't confirm.

>>12900605
well the video header says she's making "curried chicken" so to make it authentically she has to start in the bathroom to collect the "secret ingredients".

>>12900814
Only reason I remember the guy cause there was 1 video (or more) where the firealarm went off lol.

kek

>>12900821

Bahaha. I wanna find that. Really wish I knew what this dude is saying. But not knowing almost adds to the WTF of it all.

>>12900835
I have Finn friends that I can run the video by once they wake up.

>>12900839

Man that would be sick. I've been so curious to his thoughts and ramblings

>>12900821
>>12900793

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9VdhxC7gNUw

It's clear Less than a minute into this video that there is a woman in the house with him. How on earth could this dude have a girlfriend/wife??

>>12900871
He also has children/a child apparently, judging by his newer 2018-2019 videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvA0PqI3STE

He's back at it, his older ones are def worse

>>12900875
>this guy managed to pass on his genes and hes disgusting

>im normal looking, own a house, can cook, not a slob, have a good job and I cant get a text back

is there an onion site where I can pay someone in bitcoins to kill me?

>>12900866
Apparently he's narrating it like a cooking show. No government ramblings, pure food talk.

>>12900793
>>12900814
Holy fucking shit, this is the most mesmerizing video I've ever seen

>>12900605
how else a you sous to git drunk enough to make curreh?

>>12900598
im still suscribed to him
raw macarroni with kraft cheese from a bar of 1000 kraft cheese singles bar is nothing. You should watch him nuke some random chunk of raw beef in the dirtiest microwave in the world, taking a bite out of it and dropping it in a pot of boiling water, its almost as bad as the hoarder who set fire to his house trying to cook a hotdog at the toilet

>>12900890
nothing wil ever beat his newyears eve gluten free pizza

>>12901116
Link

>>12900904
that guy is kind of well known, he has his own amateur radio show and he has been on tv on numerous occasions since the early 90s
in finland we have this thing called "rappiotubettajat" or something like "decadence youtubers" and pasi is not the only one

>>12901116
>>12901128
https://youtu.be/rdnQ0nO3AcY

>>12901175
>you will never be so far gone you set your house on fire for fun

>>12900511

Which one of you is the DICKHEAD?

>>12901175
Why does he say he needs "oil and basilisk"

>>12900511
>Why I put Black Cock in basically everything

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02tRxM_1VsE
dumbass.

i want to lick the sweat from under her huge grannie boobs

>>12901300
Totally normal mate. Perfectly reasonable feeling.

>>12901300
I feel very safe assuring you she will not have grandkids.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3HehLKqxsY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4zw99VsoMA
Essential to the thread

>>12901224
>>12901437
I don't really see anything wrong with either of these.

Here's another one of Finnish cooking gems.

>not using a toilet brush attached to a cordless drill to clean his potatoes

>>12901451

I'm a huge faggot and forgot the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xta1P-lXkM

>>12901457

And I replied to the wrong post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk

>>12900511
your thoughts on this tuna recipe?
https://youtu.be/JA-930RFSSE

>>12900809
I love the commercial break for no god damn reason.

>>12901213
french canadians are unintelligible

>>12900890
>Putin or Pooton as it's pronounced in Franch
Am I retarded or do you pronounce it "poo-tine"?

>>12901511
Nevermind I watched a few more minutes and I get it now.

>>12901460
>>12901457
This is my favorite one

>>12901224
I mean it doesn't really matter, except you should salt the steak first before the sear.

>>12900511
Anybody have that video of Nicocado vbitching about getting fat, then hard cutting to videos of him pigging out with lots of slurping and slopping?

>>12900814
>he was a computer hacker that got caught by the finnish government and was on some kind of weird house arrest. Can't confirm.
not true

>>12901451
holy shit, where to begin. The technique of the first video probably works, but it misses the point of what a steak is. Sure you can eat your NY strip straight from the cutting board, standing up, next to the sink but that's not how people eat steak. Sure you can heat up a plate and serve a jumbled up mess of steak squares to your guests but that's not how people eat steak. Apart from that it's fine.

The second video is a classic example of something that was quite popular when this video was made: "elevating" a dish and in doing so completely missing the point of the dish. Curry powder, marmalade and sriracha isn't making a pb&j the "right" way, it's not making a pb&j at all. The only advice she gives that is actually good is trivial: everyone knows you shouldn't use a cup of pb for a tsp of jam or vice versa. It's basically like if I told you the "right way" of making a bologna sandwich was to put genoa salami and artichoke salad on a baguette

>>12900806
I've watched many times and this...has to be a joke. I work in A/V production and this is a brilliant disaster--it feels like an inside joke to/from/for the people who assemble these videos in post. I simply cannot believe that so many fuck ups and insanity went unchecked.

My first suspicion was the intro--99% tight, besides the quick unfocused blurb. Luring you in. Then you just subtly descend into indirect madness. Everything is slightly to totally wrong, but evenly paced! Chopping the onion...jesus fuck! THE FUCKING GARLIC...it seems too obvious but she played it straight as fuck. 7:47 Repeat title card has me convinced this is some Tim and Eric type shit. After that it's so obviously wrong. The team that put this together is either insane, or creative as fuck. I'm saying latter. Props.

>>12901605
Yeah, I understand that "ur doing it wrong!!!" is a shitty way to frame a video since it's just pretentious, but the advice in balancing flavors and experimenting with different ingredients and techniques to create something tasty is sound. While not everything has to be "elevated," there is merit in doing stuff like that.

>>12900793
Ahhh!

>>12900890
Why the fuck does it open with what sounds like funeral music

>>12901175
that shit is comedy gold

>>12900890
You guys realize Henry Phillips is a comedian, right?

>>12900814

He wasn't a computer hacker. In 1985 Pasi (back then named Jari Siikonen) made some tweaks on the telephone switchboard of his apartment complex, resulting in the blackout of over 30 000 telephone subscriptions and the local call center being offline for quite a while. He was fined for approximately 60 000 dollars, adjusted for inflation and including court fees, and given 11 months probation. Currently he lives on welfare and has to pay the goverment his fines, but isn't under house arrest or anything like that.

i vaguely remember some fat midwestern chick making some kind of pasta salad with ungodly amounts of mayonnaise and sugar while heavily wheezing through the whole video.

>>12901776
oh there it is >>12901445
i've watched this too many times

>>12900515
I subbed. Seriously.

>>12900531
I miss watching those!

>>12900511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trkwibl2Dn4
something about the way he prepares and eats the food is off putting

The chosen one

>>12901772

Thanks anon. Like I said I wasn't sure. Still makes me chuckle a bit though.

>>12901640
I agree but you said you didn't see ANYTHING wrong with either of the videos. There is plenty wrong to be found

>>12901772
I can absolutely believe that Pasi was a phreaker. He's got that technophilic autism for sure.
Same goes for Marko.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK0idfJEWPo

>>12901991
What's a phreaker?

https://youtu.be/c_YXN8PiFNM

the entire channel is pretty kino

someone please post dining with jack menu

>>12901996
People that used to fuck around with analogue phones it gets pretty good when you look deeper into it. It was sort of proto internet and I get a feeling most people that did it were early users of the internet

>>12900511
French masaoki coming through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjPcxKU_OoU

Im looking for a video, it might be dutch im im not sure. Its with this semi-famous ”chef” making pasta and mixing it in the sink. Theres not a word of english spoken but the thing was fucking hilarious

>>12902196
I S S O U
S
S
O
U

Does anyone remember that autist who played up the autist voice to 11/10
>"Let's make eggs"
>Fucks them up
>Stays in character the whole time
He shilled a few videos here

>>12900515
Why upload this? The way she looked at her kid was funny.

>>12901638
god fucking damn it, I didn't expect it
that basil in the canola oil
canola fucking oil lmfao
the way she explains everything
the way she slices
yeah, must be a joke

Can anyone post Kays Good Cooking bingo card?

>>12901445
I can't believe it's been 10 years already

>>12902414
>>12901638
Pretty sure it's just a soccer mom and her husband.

>>12902513
Yeah it sucks because they're using a shitty cell camera or something.

>>12902488
Did she died?

>>12900806
>>12900809
I agree with >>12901638, there is no way this is real.

>>12901224
this dude is so pompous and retarded

>>12900511
who's the one retarded fat redneck chick? she used to be posted in jack threads a lot pls someone help

>>12902532
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMoKECUEm6s

>>12901969
One eye on the juice one on the comments.

>>12902583
thank you so much this is such a throwback

>>12900809
Is this the wife of Henry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNSXQsP-VQY

>>12901771
You do realize you are on a cambodian carpet weaving forum?

>>12902488
I cant believe she is still alive

you can't beat this finnish autist

"When longtime age unemployment men boiling carbitch cofe this morning, same time her talk not mother language."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWuyrlXI7nA

>>12900809
>Cuts the garlic with the outermost skin still on
>Washes chopped garlic after peeling it

What the fuck

>>12902304
Gordon Ramsey

>>12902839
"Finnish water is good"

What did he mean by this?

>>12902878
i think he meant finnish tap water is good to drink, but who knows?

>>12902858
*Ramsay

>>12902839
"what is a nigger"
Fucking lol

>>12902583
Wow, she is still going and has more hobbies now. Very cool.

>>12902839
I've never seen someone have so much fun butchering a language.

>>12900890
Oh wtf? He's back?

>>12901743
It's his own music. He's done a lot of comedy type music.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M6jyUu4fOw

For me it's Pappachristos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkBabCePfrU

He took his channel down, but someone uploaded one of his gems.

test

>>12902839
look at all the newfags replying who don't know Marko

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYBsPv_BtOE
this one always gets me

>>12903919
The average American

>>12900700
>>12900785
>>12900793
>>12900814

you guys are heroes. i have to subscribe to him so that i can feel better about myself.

>>12903741
Not even replying to the first post that mentions him either.
Posting more Pasi.
https://youtu.be/87zwBY0ULp8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMMAoc2McAU&t=1207s

>>12902839
but why does he have a power supply just chilling in his sink?

>>12902593
kek

>>12900814
>his living conditions are abominable
i watched the video and what are you talking about. it looks like an old unrenovated apartment but it isn't filled with trash or anything
you should see my place

>>12904734

I see lots of hoarder trash and disgusting cooking conditions. If your place is worse, please post proof, disgusting anon.

>>12905048
my place is 10 times worse but why would i post it on the internet

>>12905067
post or you're a fucking faggot
you're literally retarded if you think that your house is the worst i've seen here

>>12900531
Watching his videos is like gazing into the roaring maw of the abyss

>>12905153
>you're literally retarded if you think that your house is the worst i've seen here
>No one will ever touch Masaokis

>>12902858
lel

https://youtu.be/w46Dwh4TMGA

This gem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQQZ2hje42E

>>12902858
Holy based

>>12900809
>>12900806
Anyone got a link to Marie's meatball video?

>>12901638
Maybe the husband or whoever edited this is just experienced with a/v production. It's not their fault the content is like this, but they just work their magic on what they got

>>12900531
Look upon his works, oh ye mighty, and despair

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM8ejkJuxxs

>>12902032
Phone losers of America bro. They are still out there...fucking with phones. And you are right, they were def early internet users

>>12903263
I unironically listen to Jose Suicidio all the time.
The Whore of Sausalito is a bop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B09RF0ImYB8

>>12900793
What the fuck

In some way this is actually more disgusting than masaokis

>>12900511
for the love of god someone must still have the video of this filipino lady at her attempt of cooking abhorrent carbonara using bottled water and packet soup. i remember it so well because at one point she says 'CREEMY SAUSE' and serving it to her boyfriend who was in literal pain eating it.

>>12900890
he's a comedian dumbass, this isn't for real

>>12901175
>>12901175
Misaokis is the Orson Welles of youtube cooking videos

Coconut Bread is his Citizen Kane imo, that shit is wild

>>12901175
My favourite thing about his videos is that he sets out to cook this shit but never actually manages to do it, I think he's never tried it before but is still trying to teach it

It's bizarre

>>12902381
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf_W7As6xbk&t=388s

>>12902196
Lol

He seems to have a vague understanding of how to cook in a frying pan though, so he's streets ahead of Masao already

>>12902839
christ this guy is terrible at pool

>>12901511
>>12901511
He's referencing "putain". It's comedy.

>>12901213
basilisk=basilika=basil
I think thats what he means

>>12900511
airsoftfatty

>>12901224
Anybody else noticed he's basically been dialing his soy levels to 15 in his newer videos? Like his nasally faggoty voice and being more of a know-it-all

>>12900809
what the fuck

>>12905372
plop the balls thusly, please

>>12901965
I don't want all those adds. So I am going to watch it on hooktube.

Anyone that doesn't want to deal with the ads is free to join me!

https://hooktube.com/watch?v=trkwibl2Dn4

>>12907640
Why not just get an adblocker

>>12905897
My favorite video is the one where he tries to make an egg white omelet, but he thinks 'egg white' means the shell, so he cracks an egg, dumps the entire egg into the toilet, and grinds the shell with a mixer

>>12901445
Listening to her heavy breathing with headphones is really something

>>12907640
Are you shilling hooktube on here instead of just using Ublock?

https://youtu.be/qHizTe1T6vw

Not bad bad but his voice????? What????

>>12907640
>2019
>Doesn't use pihole
>Still doesn't even have an adblocker

>>12901445
>it's sweet but then you got that tang of vinegar
good lord this is too much

>>12901969
fuck this retard

Trust and believe KingCobraJFS knows how to cook some righteous food.

That's what's up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l8wMlBbgd8

>>12901473
>it blows my mind that it's so sweet and dessert like and still has all those vegetables in it
what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

>>12900515
What the fuck is that accent? What part of bongland is this?

>>12907771
She's from Sheffield

>>12907771
Northumberland unfortunately

>>12907771

Gotta be pretty far north.

>>12907792
>>12907789
Refer to this.

>>12905412
what in the fuck is this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP3QwPTVK-0

>>12905412
oh masaokis, I miss you

>>12905372
Some god amongst men saved both videos and reposted them unlisted.
https://youtu.be/lI2lWuoMV3I

https://youtu.be/s37u_o-pJzQ

>>12908079
i couldnt find these for years until some absolute legend uploaded them. I wish i could thank this person

>>12900829
>laughing at reddit humor

https://youtu.be/CoFo5WjQPOs
The video is in sopa de macaco, but the result is disgusting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rqs5siPalo

Pure desolation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

Did nobody save the Carbonara video?
I can't fucking believe the bitch deleted it. Goddamn. She must have got a little ad revenue on it too. It's not like anybody's watching her vlogs.

>>12908079
but does anyone have the interview wherein ja/ck/ boasts about abusing his kids and joining a murderer's congregation?

>>12900793

>>12905067

Why would you make ridiculous claims if you aren't willing to post any proof? That's what lying fags do. Are you a lying fag?

>>12907752
TWU youtoobz

>>12908560

this guy lmao

>>12900809

Everything about this is wrong

>>12908224

god that seems like the last act of a man with nothing left to live for. if he went home and hung himself i would not be surprised.

>>12900515
wait second, all she did was heat up a chicken and heat up a pre-made sauce. this is just how to heat up food

>>12900515
What kinda spider language was that? Even the captions were fucked up

>>12901638
This is the woman who inspired Michael Scott

>>12908320
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUvYcUbxzYI

>>12905412
That’s good but this one can actually make you vomit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR5ciXadgHA

>>12907664
Lmao which vid is that

>>12900515
She's based. reminds me of my mum

>>12909383
The fucking katana that he magically procures from under his sink gets me every time. It's perfect.

>>12907771
Strength of the North.

>>12900515
So, this is where Americans get it from.

>>12908079
>mfw somewhere in America, Marie is cooking grilled cheese wearing a full hazmat suit to prevent microbe infection

>>12908079
Why does that channel have no videos when you go to look?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy8dMP63Qt0

>making avocado on toast
>actually gets an eggplant
im fucking dying

>>12907789
>>12907792
>>12907798
NORF

>>12903926
Get help.

>>12910334
how is this even possible?

>>12900511
>>12900515
extremely based. this is what i imagine all ck posters to be like

>>12900793
>takes bite out of cheese
>washes it
>puts into potato water

>>12902839
i love this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nllv8fncscw

>>12910334
no fucking way

>>12911260

>>12900793
>>12900871
Gore has no effect on me but I can't get through more than a few seconds of these videos because I keep gagging.

>>12909448
They are unlisted because that makes it harder for Marie to find them and have them taken down.

>>12910334
How is she so dumb?

>>12902381
>>12901969
can't spell /ck/ without jack

>>12901638
Pretty sure her daughter is the one filming and editing it.

>>12908158
> everything i dont like is reddit

>>12900511
King Slob.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=InzXOv7OgSA&feature=youtu.be

Blessed Nell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScoP9w52x2M

>>12912826
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wID-aIlgquk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4