/ck/ - Food & Cooking

He doesn't need to. He knows you'll buy it. Oops All Berries, Oops No Berries, Oops Dingleberries he knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll still buy it. He doesn't give a fuck. He's the Vince McMahon of cereal. He's the Dennis Rodman of cereal. He's over the fucking hill but it doesn't matter because he can coast all the way to the end on the empire he's built. Cruise control to the afterlife in a golden Rolls Royce, that's what Captain Crunch is doing, and what the fuck are you doing, you virgin piece of shit? This man can put his mistakes in a box and make millions and all you can do is be a piece of shit failure. That's the divide between you and the Captain. You know why girls go "Ooh, Cap'n, crunch my cervix!" but they report you to human resources? Success, baby, that's the difference. His name is gold and your parents are embarrassed you were ever born. You think you can put "Anon's Oops! No One Loves Me" on a box and sell it? No, because there's no sugar or cornmeal in there, just sadness. That's why he's swimming in pussy. His mistakes are worth more than the shit you do on purpose. You are an ant crushed by the penny he dropped when he pulled out 5 $100 bills to tip his escort. He doesn't care about that penny. He's not looking back. Oops!

>>12847931
This asshole is doing it on purpose, I know it

>>12847976
>Who the fuck are you?

That's the shit tier version OP

This never fails to remind me of this motherfucker, hah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1MV38O6EIM

>>12847976
Fucking classic

>>12847976
Lost it at "oops dingleberries" and have been laughing all day.

>>12847976
based and redpilled

>>12847976
hahaha

>>12847990
lol.... * rapes and cums inside you *

>>12847976
Best post i've seen all day