/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12733624
Is Britain now outlawing metal straws as dangerous weapons?
Can you still get them with a loicense?

>Using straws at all

>>12733715

Kek, Bongistan is the gift that keeps on giving. Every time you think they've become a parody of themselves and can go no further, they say "Hold my beer!" and ratchet it up somehow.

Straws aren't crucial for anything.

Chokes on chocolate eggs, chokes on straws. Damn Britain England is dumb

>>12733624
Just drink out of the cup you fucking Nancy.

>>12733749
I was looking for the Hackney picture where the children were handing over safety scissors to the police. I've got so many but I haven't started a folder and I don't know if I named it Britain, UK, Bong, England, etc.

>>12733624
I knew this would start happening.

As a kid I used to eat peanut butter out of the jar with chopsticks. The wood sort of absorbed the peanut butter and it was fun to suck on it, i stopped when i ran into a wall with the chopstick in my mouth. Had to go to the ER because the chopstick punctured the back of my throat Mom called me a retard.

Stay safe folks ..

>>12733791

>>12733755
They are helpful for decrepit invalids to drink comfortably which is why amerilards are sharting their pants over the issue.

>>12733806
>Mom called me a retard.
based mom

>>12733791
I'm not sure what is more hillarious, the WD40, the ratchet set, the flashlight or the wire brush

>>12733624
I want a gold straw and utensils for the better taste.

>>12733823
Is that a fork? Are they telling you to bin your forks?

>>12733715
does the UK have metal rulers? cause you can sharpen those to be nice makeshift blades

>>12733882
It is a broken bottle, you silly goose.

>>12733857

>Lost my mother to a bike wheel

MFW

>>12733791

Yeah, I'm originally from /k/, so I have a gorillion lying around somewhere myself. Bricked my ThinkPad screwing around with a x86 port of an old mainframe OS a while back, though, so sadly I can't really contribute.

>>12733624
I thought those were urethral sounds for a moment.

>>12733904
Who in their right mind would use a broken bottle to eat food?

>>12733624
>be british
>get brained by a straw

>>12733823
>the year is 2079
>Screwdrivers are a rare commodity due to the overzealous bobbys

>>12733624
>an Old died because it fell

the shock of hitting the floor probably would've killed her regardless, considering she fell with enough force for the straw to pierce all the way to her brain.

>>12733931
A broken man.

>>12733857
>>12733823
>>12733791
At least brit cops won't airhole you just for holding the screwdriver. They just take it away

>>12734115
no they just turn a blind eye to kids being raped by pakis

>>12734131
At least they won't shoot me for sleeping on the grass and having a friendly dog
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fox4news.com/amp/news/arlington-fire-captains-daughter-fatally-shot-by-officer-aiming-at-loose-dog

>>12734137
nope, the UK really has it's priorities in order
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-40679075

>>12734150
damn, a fine? that's definitely worse than getting shot

>>12733624
there's 0 fucking reason to outlaw plastic straws, that shit is so irelevant on the global level it's fucking pathetic. That's the fucking "#prayfor" of ecology

>>12734192

I think the distinction between accidental and deliberate might be important to some people.

>>12734232
oh, then we can move from cops accidentally shooting people to civilians intentionally shooting people
https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-r-1836949580

>>12734239
Did you just link an onion article.

>>12734239

Wait for it...

>>12733715
We have already condensed this joke down to "oi mate you got a license for that ____?" Your approach was wordy and unwieldy. A disappointingly suboptimal experience.

>>12734245
>>12734249
Way to miss the point of the joke

>>12733755
No but they work great for drinks with ice and drinks that you take with you.

>>12733919
They can be if you believe in yourself

>>12733624
Foil straws when?

>>12733624
I never knew these were even a thing until I saw them posted here. What a dumb fucking idea in the first place.

>>12733919
Man I really want to try those, but I read you can get a urinary tract infection quite easily with them. And I'm not about that life for some sexual gratification.

>>12733823
I don't even need a knife. Most of the vegetables I use I can get pre-diced and chopped in packets and the ones that need it can be run through a food processor until it is as I desire.
NOBODY needs to carry a knife, you rightfully do deserve to go to prison if you are seen carrying one in public.

Just buy yourself a decent food processor. Job done. You can also butter things with a soup spoon

>>12733755
They are necessary for slurpees, and much preferable for frothy milkshakes.

>>12733791
The UK has gone nuts. But in all fairness you could poke someone’s eye out with a metal straw or even a pencil

The only good straw. NO KEKS ALLOWED.

>>12734996
you know food processors basically contain curved swords, right? curved. swords.

>>12735487
You carry food processors around with you?

Maybe don't use metal straws if you're an elderly lesbian recovering from a drug addiction that regularly trips and falls face first, they're probably fine for everyone else

>>12733749
It's true though, so fucking true.

>>12735038
I am wondering if that is just the police suspecting that as stolen goods, but passing it off as possible weapons just because they don't have proof for the former, but have authority to confiscate over suspicion of the latter. What the fuck could you do with a bicycle wheel? Go unicycling and use that mallet to whack people in the head like some looney?

cleaning the inside of a straw wastes more resources than making another thin cheap plastic one.

>>12734094
how frail are the 60 year olds you know?

>>12733749

>>12737636
I was thinking about this. Surely a shot of scalding steam will clean out a straw better than any wagie with a microbrush ever can, right? Maybe someone could invent an automatic straw cleaner.