/ck/ - Food & Cooking

tHe MuNcHiE bOx

>>12679186
tell me more!

>>12679181
>Nigel
The memes write themselves

>>12679181
>Why all the hate?
This is a better question. And the answer is because you're on a site filled with 90% vitriolic excuses for humans with the other 10% clinging to some nostalgic ideal for what 4chan used to be like.

>>12679604

>>12679604

>>12679604

>>12679615
>>12679657
>>12680357
>they hated him because he told them the truth.

>>12681209
It happens nearly every time it's told here. Facts are hard to face when your whole existence relies on avoiding them.

>>12681288
Fuck. If that isnt rock bottom I don't know what is

>>12681288

If I'm being honest, this webm makes me hungry for McDonald's.
Guy seems super nice too and maybe that's why.

>>12681288
What the hell is that fat fuck pouring on the pizza?
Creamed potatoes?

>>12679181
Looks like Angloids are just getting introduced to 90's Amerifat levels of over eating

>>12681288
I remember that guy, his name is King Slob
What a damn legend

>>12683094
https://youtu.be/2T1YrR_fBK4

>>12679604
>what 4chan used to be like.
It wasn't all that much better from what I remember of 06. Lots of posts that were "NIGGER" to the character limit spammed.

>>12683106
This. 4chan was never good.

>>12683017
Sausage gravy actually

>>12679579
You get a 12 inch pizza box
You chuck in pakoras veggie and chicken
Throw in some doner meat
Chips (fries)
salad
sauces
and whatever the fuck else you want

I have no shame, they are fucking magic.

>>12683131
BASED

>>12683174
Sounds like the way to an early grave desu senpai

Why do fat people drink litres of pop? Food I can understand but baffled by the drinks.

>tfw moving to UK
can some bongs tell me some good food to try?

>>12681288
>tfw King Ass Ripper disappears only to find him now selling his vids for $5 a pop

>>12679181
fugg you can buy pitchers in bongland?
this is illegal im calling mcdonalds corporate THIS INSTANT!!

The chavs rarely cook from scratch, that's too complicated, long and gay.

>Breakfast

Children's cereal and milk, or marmite/jam on toast, leftover takeaway or just a Benson. Bacon butty on the weekend.

>Dinner / Lunch (this is usually just snacks but bigger)

Sandwich, a really shit sandwich like Ham and Salad Cream. Or a shop bought one like BLT or Tuna Mayo. Bag of crisps, or two, or three. Chocolate biscuit bars like Penguins, Time-Out, Twix, etc.

Microwaveable stuff like Rustler's burger, Ginster's Cornish Pasty, Rustler's BBQ rib or any off-brand / alternative to these. there also exists baked beans and ketchup pasties.

Or just biscuits, crisps and sweets.

>Tea / Dinner

Chavs like to eat anything that comes frozen in a bag that you put in the oven for 15-30 minutes at 200C. Usually in a 'meat and two veg' manner.

Meat / main products include Bird's Eye Beefburger, Richmond sausages, Findus crispy pancakes, small sausage rolls, chicken nuggets/dippers, Chicken Kiev, etc.

Potato is a vegetable to them. Potato products like crinkle-cut chips, chips, fries, curly fries, waffles, etc.

Vegetable will be baked beans or spaghetti hoops. Maybe rarely mushy peas.

Some food they have as a main itself like Spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, Shepherd's Pie, Cheese pizza. Again, frozen. Served with a stick of garlic bread if Italian. Also frozen.

>Takeaway Food

The further north you go in England, the more cheese gets added to everything and the larger the portions get. Once you hit the Scottish border, they forget about the cheese and say aye fuck it let's batter fucking everything lads

Fries that are so hot they melt their polystyrene container, served with doner meat. Or served with cheese, gravy. Curry sauce in some parts. Doner meat on pizza. Doner Kebabs.

Chavs treasure their maccies and are highly territorial about it. You will see the local pride at any given time, guarding their local McDonalds from terrorists, pedos and gaylords.

>>12685075
Anything made from offal. Just close your eyes and let the food speak for itself.

Realistically it's because our standards for "good food" are low because we don't like to make a fuss even if something is absolute shit. That and bad food education in general.

I was hosting some Euros at the weekend and for a laugh I took them to a Wetherspoons to see their reactions. Everything that could have gone wrong with their order did and the food was shit, it was absolutely the peak spoons experience. It was beautiful. Now an English person probably would've just eaten it anyway, and not demanded that the chef do better. Not the Euros. They kicked up a big fuss about their orders.

>>12681288
GRAVY PIZZA

>>12679181
Modern British cuisine is actually world class at the moment, so you'll hear a lot of seething eurowogs talking shit.
France and Italy in particular have failed to innovate or progress. The rest of continental Europe are just fucking lazy and set in their ways.

>>12686775
Post some examples of this modern “world class British cuisine” then

>>12679181
But not every fucken day which is what happens there without a bat of an eyelid.

Some Worcestershire sauce with that luv?

>>12686795
A bold new take on the full English breakfast.

>>12686104
I know this is true, but how can a human being survive eating like that? How can they even bear to eat that.on a daily basis? It makes me feel sick just by imagining it.

>>12686104
I moved from scunthorpe to tampa three years ago and I just got horrible fucking flashbacks, thanks cunt

>>12679181
Based

>>12686878
>how can a human being survive eating like that?
But he’s talking about chavs

>british cuisine
Ha!
They have none.
I've been here for a few months now and I'll just say I get why brit girls are so fat. Literally every national dish they have can be classified as fast food.

>>12679181
the worst part is the fry box filled with ketchup.

>>12686104
This is scarily accurate. I especially like the chavs who hang around McDonalds observation. Why do they do that?

>>12680357
He even does the soyface. Do these people have zero self awareness?

>>12687054
kys

>>12686104
You forgot pot noodles.

>>12679181
I gotta admit, I'm pretty jealous of his cup. Even at home when I sit down to a meal, I bring 3 cups of whatever I'm drinking because I drink a ton. I wish fast food places gave out pitchers.

>>12685075
Best curry in the western world by far. Don't eat out unless you're willing to spend good money. We have some great cooks and some really great talent when it comes to cooking food, but the average attitude to food, and the quality of cheap food is so horrible. There is a reason Uk food has a horrible reputation yet so many incredible chefs come from the UK

>>12686104
>Some food they have as a main itself like Spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, Shepherd's Pie, Cheese pizza. Again, frozen. Served with a stick of garlic bread if Italian. Also frozen.

This entire post encapsulated my northern childhood, but that sentence describes me mam perfectly.
I swear she's never used a clove of garlic in a meal ever.

>>12679181
>literal french fry sandwich
>cuisine

>>12688245
>Do these people have zero self awareness?
They're too busy living their lives instead of shitposting.

>>12679181
This guy really really wants to die.

>>12681320
he has a weird feeder fetish
they get a lot worse than that too

>>12686104
>>Breakfast
>
>Children's cereal and milk, or marmite/jam on toast, leftover takeaway or just a Benson. Bacon butty on the weekend.
>
>>Dinner / Lunch (this is usually just snacks but bigger)
>
>Sandwich, a really shit sandwich like Ham and Salad Cream. Or a shop bought one like BLT or Tuna Mayo. Bag of crisps, or two, or three. Chocolate biscuit bars like Penguins, Time-Out, Twix, etc.
>
>Microwaveable stuff like Rustler's burger, Ginster's Cornish Pasty, Rustler's BBQ rib or any off-brand / alternative to these. there also exists baked beans and ketchup pasties.
>
>Or just biscuits, crisps and sweets.
>
>>Tea / Dinner
>
>Chavs like to eat anything that comes frozen in a bag that you put in the oven for 15-30 minutes at 200C. Usually in a 'meat and two veg' manner.
>
>Meat / main products include Bird's Eye Beefburger, Richmond sausages, Findus crispy pancakes, small sausage rolls, chicken nuggets/dippers, Chicken Kiev, etc.
>
>Potato is a vegetable to them. Potato products like crinkle-cut chips, chips, fries, curly fries, waffles, etc.
>
>Vegetable will be baked beans or spaghetti hoops. Maybe rarely mushy peas.
>
>Some food they have as a main itself like Spaghetti bolognese, lasagne, Shepherd's Pie, Cheese pizza. Again, frozen. Served with a stick of garlic bread if Italian. Also frozen.

All me except I skip breakfast now and I rarely eat diner if at all, but when I do it's something like that, not a chav btw, middle-class and well-off btw. White too, just have a very shitty diet and fussy eater attitude, refuse to try new stuff.

>>12685075
Fish and chips

>>12690832
>have a very shitty diet and fussy eater attitude, refuse to try new stuff.
how does it feel being an adult baby

>>12690832
did you need to quote the entire thing you spastic

>>12690926
yes, why?

>>12679181
Have you ever eaten british cuisine? It's like eating shit, except it looks worse. It's an interesting experience from an experimental perspective, not a culinary one.

>>12691127
you didn’t tho

>>12684256
its nowhere near as bad as some of the shit americans eat
its just a big takeaway basically, and the pakora shit is actually pretty healthy

>>12679181
traditional british food is mostly shit, not gonna pretend like its not. but who gives a shit? we take inspiration from pretty much the entirety of europe and beyond in our modern cuisine so its not like we ever actually have to eat the traditional shit, most people dont

>>12691444
>pakoras healthy
Not really. They’re deep fried veggies in thick batter. They can be tasty but I would not say healthy, especially if being cooked by the purveyors of munchie boxes.

>>12691522
its not a thick batter, its pretty thin compared to something like fish and chips. so its usually like 90% protein or veg. but yeah, its not necessarily healthy, just healthier than your traditional fried food

>>12691526
fried food is not healthy! just eat the veggies fresh

>>12690840
HDHGOOTWBTE

>>12686843
do brits really do this?

>>12691571
>Be Scottish and completely drunk
>Use last of your grubby greasy money to buy Munchie Box
>See fresh veggies
>Have heart attack

>>12690889
It's great. I eat only what I want and what I need or am told. I am the adult of my adult life.
>>12690926
Retard

>>12679181
I just can’t stand brits because of the war. You tried to steal our land and implement a monarch.

>>12691957
Which war?

>>12691993
Revolutionary

someone post toast sandwich.

>>12679181
Oi! Where's his burgah loicense!

>>12681288
Think I might try this

>>12692051
post the live stream for us in /ck/

>>12679181
This webm sent me to fast for a full month

>>12679181
I think you'll find that the established rules of grammar demand the use of "properly" in that sentence construction.

>>12685091

Jesus thats a rare Limmy.

>>12686843

Bold new take on cheese beans on toast ill grant you but thats no Full English with out bacon and eggs.

im fancying a bit of cheeky nandos

>>12688245
yep,

Imagine being such a poofter you can't enjoy a fry up

>>12679604

>>12686104
>Fries that are so hot they melt their polystyrene container, served with doner meat. Or served with cheese, gravy.
Does this ,magic land truly exist?

>>12692938
Please tell me that baked bean pizza is fake.

>>12681289
everyone knows 4chan is shit, but only a faggot derails a thread by being gay.

>>12679181
>british cuisine

Oy, why you poms eat this garbage?

>>12679604
>what 4chan used to be like

>>12686843
Lmaoo

>>12679579
>>12683174
You can find these posted all over /ck/. They're pretty disgusting. Not due to the calorie content though. They just look like the lowest quality slop thrown into a box with ridiculous markup, and people claim they eat an entire box on their own.

>>12686795
Lmao it doesn't exist. The national "British" food is a fucking Indian dish. No one wants stargazy pie and blood sausage.

>>12694503
Oh haha thought I was on another board...

>>12694316
tasted pretty good

>>12679604
Go back

>>12694515
Not British but blood sausage actually tastes good if you get the right kind

>>12695932
He's right and you ruin this board.

>>12695961
Yes because everyone loves fast food threads, right?

>>12695961
>ruin 4chan
good one

>>12696247
It's a lot easier to admit to yourself that you have no frame of reference

Memes aside, industrial revolution and world wars.

>>12696361
>world wars
Yeah, no.
Second one would be the soviets

>>12696374
Yes nigger. Of course bongs weren't suffering mass famine and cannibalism tier hunger like the russkies, but wartime rationing meant that virtually everything consumed was fucking bland.

>>12696256
Imagine getting offended on an anonymous image board

>>12696613
happens all the time, then they become jannies

>>12695950
Fair enough. The only time I tried blood sausage was in Universal Orlando in the Harry Potter world area, so I can't fairly judge what good blood sausage tastes like.

>>12697211
>The only time I tried blood sausage was in Universal Orlando in the Harry Potter world area
Not the real thing. Flyover and have some real in a shovel.

>>12688245
most people dont go on 4chan let alone know the memes

>>12679181

It could be good but brits' need for self defeating and cynicism while not making a fuss just makes the average brit a shit cook, if even a cook at all.

You could deliberately fuck up an order in every way possible, see that they dislike it, but they will claim it was good and not make any complaints.

Absolute madness, no wonder london is indonesia and middle east's bitch.

>>12679181
Amateur hour in this thread

>>12699355
Bottom right: roast beef, roast potatoes and...baby sand worm from Dune?

>>12699438
That looks like rare roast beef, oh and a carrot as well - that's the orange thing.

>>12699438
Oi ! don't forget the Yorkshire pudding on top moight

I’ve seen shepherds pie, steak and kidney pies and sometimes sausage rolls here in the US, but never seen Yorkshire Pudding. It must be crap. Is anything from Yorkshire good?

>>12699956
Coal and smog.

>>12700046
you forgot about the easy women

>>12686104
This post is downright written like a documentary script. How much time do you spend observing chavs? Or god forbid have you ever been one yourself? Is this from first or second-hand experience?

>>12693326
Yes, the polystyrene gets indented with the shape of the chips. Mainly from kebab shops, most chippies either protect with paper or don't give you the container at all.

>>12700458
>don't give you the container at all.
What? Just throw hot chips in your hands?

>>12700630
traditionally, chips are served in a piece of newspaper rolled into a cone.

>>12700630
They just serve them in paper

>>12686843
Bravo

>>12700633
>>12700640
>serving food in newspaper
I see you learned from your former colonies. webm related

>>12679181
The british have an obsession with sloppy, soggy carbs. Canned spaghetti on toast, beans on toast, limp soggy "chips," mashed potatoes, gravy-filled "pies." At least when Americans eat shit food theres a variety: fried meats, crunchy fries, burgers with tomato and onion, etc

>Why all the hate for british cuisine?
No hate, but confusion. Confusion over the sheer lack of actual sustenance like fruits and vegetables. Like the Irish cuisine, it is all about meat and potatoes.

>>12700873
>The british have an obsession with sloppy, soggy carbs. Canned spaghetti on toast, beans on toast, limp soggy "chips," mashed potatoes, gravy-filled "pies." At least when Americans eat shit food theres a variety: fried meats, crunchy fries, burgers with tomato and onion, etc
Yeah wtf is up with this? They are crazy for carbs for some reason.

>>12701052
They're Euro LARPers with an inferiority complex

>>12679181

>>12701750

I'd get a pint with this lad

>>12701750
this is all kinds of fucked up

>>12701926
Yougov polls don't lie

>>12681288
I wanna rub his belly

>>12701750
crumpets fucking suck get over it

>>12701750
Anti Scottish sentiment on full display

>>12701933
he didn't marinate it

>>12702001

>>12701750
>>12701755
is this bait
battenberg is god tier
rarebit and beef wellington also but wellington is a bitch to cook

>>12702009
Why not throw the dog in the oven too? Lean protein FTW!

>>12702001
why'd he make a fry up in the oven

>>12702040

>>12702045
Not sure what point you're trying to make. But you can fuck off

>>12701933
N

>>12702073
>he needs a one purpose appliance to cook basic food
COPE

>>12702001
Marinades are for yanks

>>12702153
...and bland is for brits.

>>12702396
nope

>>12679181
wtf did i just watch

Brits in general are lame and effeminate. Talk like children with no awareness of how fruity they are.

>>12702406
>tomatoes
Stopped there. Not a native british dish. Nice try Nigel. Return to OP and do not use NHS.

>>12702406
you had to import flavor because native British food is tasteless

>>12701750
>toad in the hole above beef wellington
nuke

oi, mates
how do you burn all that stomachfat

>>12702139
well
on one hand, you can cook it all at once instead of 4 different skillets

>>12703114
>4 different skillets
why not just cook them all in a shovel? be honest now, you're a yank or eurocuck, right?

>>12702804
this!

>>12703162
why not just not cook at all then

Oh man all of these English foods look fantastic. I really need to visit.

>>12679181
Define British Cuisine; Exactly which Anglo-saxon culinary dishes are you referring to? And from which time period? We're talking about a full millennia of documented cooking out of the British isles, so I'm not sure how we can have an open and honest discussion about British cuisine unless you first set specific parameters and give examples.

>>12704112
Get a load of this twat

>>12688245
The best part, which I missed the first few times because I was so astonished by him purposely posing in soyface, is when he receives the coffee and responds with an even huger soyface.

>>12704210
Well he knows his market pretty good then

Is this the daily "let's make fun of british food" thread? You guys are pathetic!