/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12698777
awful. id prefer the lazy standard of pulled pork and random salads over this pretentious shit

>>12698777
Seems really boring, the couple is likely boring as well. The best I've been to have been buffets with a plethora of things available at the reception.
Is it even open bar?

Women are fucking horrible, dont ever marry one

>>12698842
It's actually lower for millenials bexause they aren't getting married and the ones that do sre serious about it.

And high partner count is inversely correlated with marital success. If you can't see the red flags, you won't get to the finish line.

>>12698777
no meat

jesus.

>>12698842
.t

>>12698777
>no meat

No thanks i would rather stay at home.

>>12699396
>>12699415
Are salmon and chicken not meat?

>>12698777
looks like they played it safe but totes yummers nonetheless

>>12699396
>>12699415
there is a whole chicken for the main course you donkys learn to read

>>12698777
Pretty bland no lies. Looks like posh diet food.

>>12698777
It's fancier than any of the half a dozen weddings I've been to. I'd probably do salad, fish, vegetarian option.

>>12699421
Where does it say salmon anywhere?

>>12699432
>Chicken is meat
It's poultry you culinary retard.
Meat ,poultry, fish. Read a fucking book.

>>12698777
A whole roast chicken? Is this medieval themed? Are guests going to eating it with their hands like peasants?>>12699480

>>12699480
>I’m vegetarian, is there any meat in this dish
>no, it only has chicken and fish, no meat
Retard

>>12698777
>toast with a fancy name
>lettuce
absolutely awful start.
>butter dumplins?
>fish
I guess it's better than more vegetable shit, but I'd prefer to see a steak here, and I've never heard of butter dumplins
>mushrooms
gee thanks for the flavourless garbage of the forest floor
>whole chicken
now we're talking. do you get the whole chicken to yourself?
I'm guessing it's a bit of a hipster wedding since Labneh is just greek yogurt with leb name.
overall
first course = 2
second = 5
third = 6

>>12698777
Do you choose one item of each course or do you get both served? Because fuck toast.

Looks good to be honest.

>>12699524
First two courses would be plated together. Last course, if you really get an entire fucking chicken to yourself (I'm a fatass and even a whole chicken is a struggle) it'd be plated separately to the mushrooms.

>>12698777
>crema
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>12698892
>high partner count is inversely correlated with marital success
I would like to see a source on that. Not incel-science or your personal thoughts, a real source.

>>12698777
>no compote
>no aioli
>no foraged items
>nothing deconstructed
Not even trying

>>12699554
Google it. This is old news friend

>>12699554
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x

>>12698777
There are lots of fancy words for pretty blah food. Bread and salad. Then dumplings and cream trout (sounds Norwegian). Finally mushroom with fruit, cheese and nut and chicken with brown rice and yogurt.

>>12698777

No dessert, get fucked.

>>12698777

>charred lemon

You put fucking lemons slices on the trout before baking it. Dont list the fucking lemons as an essential part of the meal on the menu you fuckwits.

Unless Im wrong and they cut lemons up into chunks and "charred" them and expect people to eat big roasted lemon chunks as a side dish.

>>12701090
The smoky almonds bothers me a lot. I assume the almonds are smoked, but it sounds like the almonds smoke a lot, or emit smoke, or were stolen by Smoky the Bear. Who the fuck puts down smoky almonds? It's smoked almonds.

Is this in Jackson Hole or something?

>>12698777
Looks pretty good, /ck/ is just asshurt they'll never get married or even get invited to a wedding

>>12701309
He can still crash a reception if it's not a celebrity wedding. It's not like they check id's. It's a great way to get a free drunk on a weekend when you're broke. Occasionally you can get laid by one of the flower girls after they get trashed if you look and dress decent.

>>12698842
Except while roulette is random chance you can choose not to marry a retarded woman

Better hit up mcds before you go

>>12698777
first course
>pistachio
second course
>smoked peanuts
third course
>smoky almonds
Fuck your wedding I hope the bride chokes on the peanuts

>>12698777
I wouldn't eat a single thing on there. It reads like a rich person's wet dream and not at all practical food you could actually enjoy.

Guize, send help. My wife is going to be the maid if honor at a wedding where the bride stated she wants it to be 100% vegan.

The wedding is in one year, how do i pepper my angus?

Seems like boring hipster trash. They'll be divorced within three years because the bride will be "bored." Cap this.

>>12702066
>where the bride stated she wants it to be 100% vegan.
your wife has shit taste in friends

>>12702123
I know, she hates the idea too. Whenever they get together my wife makes it a point to order a giant steak infront of her friend.

The wedding is at a lake and we get a bungalo. I'm thinking of bringing a grill and just throwing some meat on it before i throw my meat in my wife.

>>12702145
Sounds like a plan

if your wedding doesn't have oak smoked brisket, sausage,and baby back ribs I'm not going.

>>12698777
And what's for dinner?

>>12698777
Unless you also get to fuck the bride, this is bullshit.

>>12698777
I'm sure it will taste good, but
>pretentious/10

>no meat
Fuck them.

>>12699649
>aioli
I bet you get excited to eat out.

>>12702328
>trout
>chicken
If those aren't good enough for you, go fuck yourself, it's a free meal.

>>12702346
>it's a free meal
Unless your a nigger, you're supposed to bring a gift. Since OP's wife is pretty close to the bride, the gift is probably expensive.

>>12702269
underrated

Oh boy, grilled sourdough and smoked salt on top. My favorite!

>>12698777
What the fuck? This all sounds awful

>>12698892
Millennials are wary of marriage because most of their parents have got a divorce.

>>12702367
food is still free, I would get them a gift whether or not they fed me

>>12702469
>Millennials are wary of marriage because most of their parents have got a divorce.


And the fact that if you are the man in the marriage you get royally fucked in the ass, with nobody to support you or back you at all. The entire court system is against you as a man when it comes to divorce.

She'll get the kids, the dog, the house, the car, child support/alimony, the money, and you get to go sleep on your friends couch for the next year because the judge threw out your Pre-nup.

>>12702686
divorcee here, no pre-nup: kept my car, house, dog and money. We didn't have kids so no custody issues.
The trick is not to be a dumbass and marry a complete bitch, or do something extremely dumb that gives the divorce court lawyers ammunition against you other than the already tilted system.

>>12702686
To this day I still remember the story I read over 10 years ago about the woman divorced the guy, he had a dog he'd had since before he even met her, she didn't like the dog, asked for it in the divorce, got custody of it, and immediately had it put down just to spite the guy.

>>12698892
Back to Facebook you go zoomer

>>12702736
Women are demons.

>>12698777
whole roasted slagel family mmm mm

>>12699513
>gee thanks for the flavourless garbage of the forest floor
spotted the absolute fucking child

>>12702752
Women operate on an emotional level, not an intellectual one. They're intelligent enough to hurt people, but using their minds to feed their mercurial patterns rather than control them is how they operate.

>itt: wh*tes prove how virtuous they are by their staggering divorce rates and acrimonious seperation battles.
It's a good thing you're being bred out of business, lol!

>>12698777
Bullshit. I have lived near and fished the Snake River my whole life and I've never heard of an ivory trout in this river or any other.

>>12702953
Based

>make TOAST
>call it grilled sourdough
fuckers

>>12702367
our same-age friends got us shit that was like <30$ or nothing and we understood because that's how being a young person is nowadays.

>>12702066
eat before you go.

>>12699554
>t. washed up bitch/mentally weak minded faggot incapable of keeping his micropenis in his pants
I hope you never recreate you worthless piece of fucking trash

>>12702992
How dare you. How absolutely dare you, sir.

>>12702145
>my wife makes it a point to order a giant steak
i take my original insult back

>>12702992
>mentally weak minded
as opposed to physically weak minded

>>12701309
aww the inept cuck is easily entertained! take your sewer tier palate to the dump faggot

>>12703054
>being illiterate
you Americans are so funny

>>12703061
see

>>12699513
>I'd prefer to see a steak here
>second course of presumably four (including dessert)
spotted the cooklet, why are you even here?

>>12698777
Sounds mildly pretentious, but it's a wedding shop why not have something special. Im torn between the sour dough and salad.

>>12698833
There's nothing wrong with being boring.

>>12702145
spoken like a true boomer

>>12698777
Looks fine

>>12704102
There kind of is. If people are expected to sit through a two+ hour catholic wedding at St Patricks Cathedral in NYC then yeah that's totally boring, and for that I don't want to sit down at some fucking reception.
It's like these arrogant fucks can't just elope or something.

>>12698777
It looks fine. There's trout, a whole chicken, good sides...y'all are seriously the worst, pretentious cancer on this whole website and I really mean that honestly.

>>12704218
Do you often listen to the mounted singing trout?
Before you go apeshit please replace it with whatever fish you want.
Hooligans singing Truly, madly, deeply of Savage Garden. - PUMA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHW5pgApwB8

>>12702953
You ain't fishing them trout, boy. Smh. You know what trout is? It's there. On the menu even. Smh.

>>12698777
All a wedding needs is steak and an open bar

My friend's wedding served turkey sandwiches with raspberry jelly on a croissant. I thought that was weird as fuck. I went out to a Mexican restaurant and got a whole plate of enchiladas afterward.

Gay.
Marriage is GAY.
GAY MARRIAGE

I stay in Facebook groups dedicated to women mocking men they don't like or ones who have "wrongthink" solely to remind myself how awful they are whenever I get the urge to wife one.

>>12698777
Terrible. Of all the weddings I've ever been to, my friend's white trash sister had the best one. Got tons of Lasagna catered from some local italian place. It was delicious.

>>12698777
>Whole Roasted Slagel Farm Chicken
Slagel Farm? WOW! No expense spared I see. Who hasn’t heard of Slagel Farm? Impressive, OP, and very classy I might add.

>>12698777
As long as the bar is open and the Bride's maids are young, whatever they serve is of no matter to me.

>>12704292
>Sounds like the "Sinner's Sandwich"...
https://youtu.be/-41YUSZ9VAg?t=52

>>12698777
Smoked salt. Yummy

>>12698777
If you don't get the bride drunk and screw her in the toilet I'll never forgive you.

>>12704307

>>12698892
Oh good so I'll just find one of those women who hasn't had at least 3 partners a year every year for 10 years

>>12704828
Not that hard if you're not restricting yourself to white women.

>>12704218
Yeah /ck/ secretly wants to plan their own wedding menu but that'll never happen

>>12698777
>grilled sourdough
Blech. Charring/toasting bread over a flame is a meme.
>baby lettuces
Seems okay.
>butter dumplings
Meh. Smoked peanuts don't sound all that great. Not even sure why you would. Weird flex/10
>ivory trout
Best looking dish so far. I cringe at seeing specific sources listed on menus. Most of the guests will have no idea where snake river is or what the difference between those trout and any other trout are. The distinction is lost on them.
>wild mushrooms
Also looks pretty good but what the fuck is delice de bourgogne?
>whole roasted chicken
Seems tasty.

Overall pretty ok. I see a lot of smoked this and charred that. Most of it seems unnecessary. Smoked salt on charred bread? Charred lemon with the trout? No one is going to eat the lemon itself so I'm not even sure how that made it into the description. If they wanted the acidic bite of lemon with a touch of chargrilled flavor, why not grill the trout and leave the lemon as is?

>>12699554
>Incel-science

>>12698842
Divorce rates are highest among young couples. When looking at couples over 30, the numbers start dropping dramatically.

>>12704782
Kind of looks like gilligan and the skipper.
I was always suspect about that show, why weren't they banging ginger and mary ann?

>>12698777
wild mushrooms with blueberries huh
this reads like a boring housewifes rendition of fine dining, is the brides mom cooking lol

>>12699654
uhm anon, i realize most of you are idiots but since you already posted this pic why cant you post a decent source? you never had to write any papers, didnt you?

>>12703068
t. redundant gay ass homosexual

>>12698777
It all seems fine to me, I'd eat it.

>>12705529
Cute trap, what's his instagram?

>had a food truck cater my wedding
I mean it looked a little trashy, but everybody got better, hotter food for less money per head.

>>12698892
What are you friendless? I've been to the three weddings this year

>>12706314
>friends don't have wives or even gfs in 70% of the case
>trying to be a parent and wish they could just have kids for my kid to hang out with
I wish my friends would get married.

>>12702992
>recreate

It's procreate dumbass

>>12704102
It's even more boring when at some cathedral type wedding and are in the front row so can't leave without being noticed.
The cathedrals are beautiful but damn the priest goes on and on and on. When they could do that in 15 minutes and be done with it then it has to go on for 2+ hours, then yeah that gets fucking boring and I don't want to sit down after that.
Get it?

>>12706327
is it?

>>12706331
I am too autistic to believe in god so I just got married in a park, we thanked everybody for helping us get together, stay together, and for welcoming us into our families, told a cute story, and vowed to not be shitty to each other.
Ten minutes tops.
Making everybody you care about stare at you droning on and on until their asses go sore is to the benefit of nobody.

It's too bad that Diane Bish isn't doing cathedral weddings. Her on the chords would make me want to stay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2cpzAYv5E0
HYMNS & CLASSICS – FAVORITES FOR ORGAN with Diane Bish

>>12706372
>Diane Bish on the tendies and frogposting board
Had to do a double take there. I don't think you should be on /ck/, it's not good for you.

>>12706354
Congrats! I always wanted to do it on a mountain side but my ex-gf, ex-fiance, total hypocrite of a chick wanted the full deal, I'm just not the type that wanted that but I know that it's not about little ol me.

>>12706377
hahaha it's the best place

>>12706377
Totse &t isn't around anymore so why not here?

>>12706381
I'm the broad so that helped, a lot of my in-laws balked at how small I wanted to go and my MIL started throwing money at me so I'd go bigger than originally planned.
Saved a bundle by making my own dress for under fifty bucks.

Seems nice enough. You can always stop by McD's or something on your way there to fill up your stomach with things you like before the wedding food. Bring a to-go container and keep it in your car in case you wanna take stuff home.

>>12706431
Yeah that's what happens when families get involved and between a couple. It's usually the chick's side because they want to make a show when us guys want to avoid that.
Stuff is stuff I guess and to each their own.

>>12706442
Don't forget the coca-cola cans tied to the back of the wedding car, that's classic Americana.

>>12706450
To be fair, she has a fuckhuge family and they're full of young kids getting hitched, she felt it was a responsibility of hers that her side host and treat as many of them as well as possible.
She's my mom now, so her concerns should be my concerns.
She's also from better stock than I am so I didn't know ideas like a potluck reception (worked for my parents) would be particularly odious and needed to be fixed.

>>12706465
I know. The clear solution would be to do it both ways.
We aren't all Guinevere and Arthur.

>>12701309
Who the fuck doesn't get invited to weddings? If you went to all of them your entire summer would probably just be weddings.

>>12698777
If it's good food then it can speak for itself
only peasants are impressed by fancy descriptions
Here's how this menu should read:

sourdough
salad

dumplings w. corn
trout

mushrooms
roast chicken

>>12706504
Fuck you fancypants, here's how it should read:
Bread
Leaves
Dough
Fish
Fungus
Bird

>>12706517
that would unironically also be good

undersell and overdeliver
pleasantly surprise people don't disappoint them
leave a little mystery

pointing out the provinance of the chicken is like saying HEY I SPENT MONEY ON THIS YOU FUCKERS BETTER ENJOY IT, like bro thanks but we didn't make you spend this money, I would have been happy with some sandwiches and booze. Nothing worse than a big stupid wedding and a bunch of butthurt people out of pocket.

>>12706485
I don't though I'd like to be but I'm the writer type that thinks too much for my own good. It is what it is and why I'm not married. That's something from the heart and sould there, take it for what it is.

>>12706535
What if you just used basic iconography?
Would that cross a point of simplicity and go back to being pretentious?

>>12706517
>>12706504
Fixed this for the both of you cheapskates...
BOOZE! OPEN BAR!
Have some fun, everyone!

>>12706544
yes, it is a circle and not a line

>>12706544
She's taken.

>>12706560
It's nothing that you can see, neither a circle or line, love isn't either one. Look into the night sky sometime and you might see a little part of it, a very little part. We're not meant to see it all yet, in time, perhaps.

>>12701309
>best friend mentions he getting married might be one of the groomsmen
>ask him if he's sure he wants to get married so soon
>leaves and never talks to me again
Didn't wanna go to New York anyway

>>12706545
I'm not suggesting to get rid of the délice de bourgogne or the dill crema or to serve chickens not lovingly raised by the slagel family

just don't brag about it all

>>12706576
You wont miss anything, it's not a destination these days especially with de blasio the crony of bloomberg.

>>12706575

>>12706579
>délice de bourgogne
I'm a simple man, I go for the key lime pie.

>>12698777
>Not having a full mixed grill at your wedding
You fucking cuck

>>12706544
Man imagine it, the menu cards aren't even printed on, the shapes are cut out of the cardstock.

>>12698777
Johnny Fever announces the festitivites!

>>12706612
> menu cards at wedding
Is this some negro shit?

>>12702371
Don't spoil my moderately interesting post with your reddit bullshit.

>>12698777
You literally get better menu at Medieval Times

>>12699412
I'm not sure which one did worse.

>>12705379
But they can legally get married now.

Oh, you mean the crippling autism. Right.

>>12704218
>y'all
I'll bet 100$ you aren't southern or black, sweetheart

>>12698777
pretentious shit that nobody will enjoy. Best to pick some (simple) classics that any kitchen can make taste great for a large group and serve it hot.

>>12702066
If your are lucky the bride will be dead from malnutrition before then. But I advise you to bring some emergency beef jerky with you to eat at the feast. Be sure to look the bride in the eyes when you eat it, because as the husband of the maid of honor it's your task to show your dominance to the bridezilla.