/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>local pub
>my mate and I go in for a feed
>have a squiz at the bar
>see a bloke trying to stack empty pints
>did one too many and the weight cracks one
>he did that wide-eyed long inhale
>you know the one
>m8 and I havn a giggle
>he's falling behind so he starts to rush
>seriousface.jpg
>goes for another stack
>ANOTHER one cracks
>face getting red
>he's steamin
>ready to throw something I can feel it
>somehow manages to get his job done
>we eat, drink, talk shit, then decide to continue the entertainment and see what he does after work
>hang out 'til stumps
>go to the car park
>he walks to his car and gets in
>think the show's over and turn to walk off
>beep
>beep
>beep
>beep
>he's punching the fucking horn
Best night ever

One time I smashed my keyboard because some Anon said that my steak looked like his gf's pussy and the no gf feel overtook me.

>>12678060
Fpwp

>>12677978

At least this the shot was warranted.

>>12677978
>Go to a Caribbean place after work with tha brothas.
>Order a few beers and some roti
>Instead of a bottle, she brings out portion cups for everyone but me
>As I get up to ask, one of the guys just bellows out "It's because he's white, isn't it? Your mama raised you better!"
>Mama comes out of the kitchen just staring daggers. "You'll keep your voice down in my restaurant. I'll give your pasty friend some sauce, but if he cries, you're all leaving."
Best hot sauce I've ever had. Must be made from honky tears or something.
>I'm the only one to say thanks on my way out. The daughter comes back with "They can come back, but not you."

So me and six guys from Trinidad and Jamaica built a cross out of a skid and lit it on fire in front of the place.

>>12678213
>built a cross out of a skid and lit it on fire in front of the place
That would have made national news. At least make your bs believable.

>go into fast food joint
>order sandwich
>waiting for my sandwich
>everyone else is getting their sandwiches
>15 minutes pass
>I ask where my sandwich is
>AY GURL, WHERE DIS WHYTE BOI SANDWICH AT?
>OH GURL I PUT DAT ON THE TABLE 10 MINUTES AGO GURL
>mutter racial slurs under my breath
>take my cold sandwich and leave
>call corporate in the car and complain
>never go back
who can top my level of caucasian passive-aggressiveness?

>>12677978
Shots fired!! Yeet yeet

>>12678213
>Blacks being mean to whites when it would literally get them lynched
Fake and also gay

>>12678322
You should've pulled out your Klan hood and hang those subhumans while hailing hitler and proudly announcing that "The future of the white race and of its children must be perserved" as you wace your confederate flag, honking you horn that plays the "Dukes of Hazard" tune.

>>12677978
The libertarian ideal. If you disagree with business practices then murder is legitimate redress.

>>12678322

this happens to me but i'm not even white.

niggs just gonna nigg. leave a review on google reviews, call out the cashier's name if you can, and advise other people to avoid that store. usually gets corporate HR to start rolling heads.

Ordered Guinea Fowl breast as the main course at a 2* in Italy. Could have done better myself.

>>12677978
thats american as fuck

>>12677978
…do americans really…

>>12678108
>not recording you eating it to cuck him

I once asked how much longer my food was going to be because we had been waiting in taco Bell for like 20 minutes
It made my friends uncomfortable

>>12679311
Do your friends ask other guys to fuck their girlfriends?

One time a McDicks employee got my order wrong twice in a row so I called corporate and told them she called me a "scum fuck nigger-loving bastard who should be gunned down in the street like the degenerate I am." She was not there the next week when I got my free burgers.

>>12679347
I hope this was real, but pinning using the term "nigger" on someone that might never even think about ever saying it is kinda fucked. Still glad they got fired though, fuck incompetence.

>>12679280
>do americans really get mad if their food is served in a substandard way

eurocuckoldry is baffling

>>12677978
I mean can you blame her?

>>12677978

>>12677978
Which one of you trannies did this?

>>12678060
Sneed

>>12679626
>black man with a gun
>not shot by police
i'm calling bullshit

>>12677978
>asked for WATER
>server gave me Water

>>12679629
Apparently your asshole is the same tissue as your lips according to my high school teacher

>>12679640
I understood this reference.

>>12679647
awesome. my work here is done.

>>12678602
Did you complain?

>>12679644
Your highschool teacher is a faggot. Drop the class.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXynTPirbws

>>12678297
You might be right, probably are. But at the same time, I had like three separate incidents of people trying to kidnap me down in the Caribbean within an hour. Before that, I was getting fall down drunk at 14 in a nice restaurant. Shit's crazy down there all the time.
I also bought weed from some guy named poopsy who was delivering beer and got him to taxi me back to the cruise resort port as a freebie. He rolled a joint, and told me not to bother lowering it when I did as a cop drove by.
Also, stole a bunch of booze and cigars from a store while I had weed on me and got caught. They let me go after I paid for the stuff.

>>12679638
Despite the propaganda, you're pretty much less likely to be shot by police under similar circumstances as a black because of the disproportionate outrage it causes.

>>12679814
[citation needed]

>>12678060
is this a nonsense copypasta or what?

>>12678351
its dey cultchah
>>12678355
this but unironically

>>12678351
Minority here, we minorities are far more racist than white people.

>>12677978
I don't have one because I'm a man.

>>12680066
Straight white male here, I literally committed a hate crime today by simply existing. Truly we are the worst thing ever to happen to this planet and we definitely deserve to be replaced with Jews and roasties who deny me sex even when I hold the door open for them. Please make me pay reparations!

>>12680067
What the fuck is it with fat women throwing tantrums at mcdonalds?

>>12679918
Breitbart, F(au)x News and Alex Jones, you fool.

>>12678164
McDonald's fries of an expiration of like 9 minutes, tops. If they're not steaming hot, they're garbage. And you know, it's only McDonalds fries. I mean, sure, all fries are better hot. But fries from Chick-fil-a or Burger King or where-ever aren't completely ruined just because they're not fresh. Only McDonald's. At $3 for a "large".

>>12680089
>And you know, it's only McDonalds fries. I mean, sure, all fries are better hot. But fries from Chick-fil-a or Burger King or where-ever aren't completely ruined just because they're not fresh.
I've noticed this too and would really like to know the science behind this. Tbh though, even when hot, McD hasn't had the best fries or anything even close to it for a long time. Hell, literally all of the major competiting national burger chains (burger kang, wendy's, Jack in the Box) have better fries now.

>>12677978

>>12680189
Was this scene based on James Huberty?

>>12680081
You're honestly some of the nicest people to minorities. Meanwhile minorities will even be petty to fellow minorities with their primitive tribalism. When people give white people shit about raising black kids and thinking it's because they are using them or something, it's false. I was partially raised by white people, they were like grandparents, and thanks to them I experienced a lot of things outside of my poverty stricken life. Very generous family, and I'm going to see them next week. They are more family than my own family part of which, regardless of their wealth are greedy af. The poor ones are still petty but still nice sometimes.

It's pretty fucking sad. And now I hear about how they teach white guilt to children instead of history and it pisses me off. The first time I ever experienced racism was a year ago, but the place I live in has tons of crime so I don't blame them. But all this shit today is cultivated by the cancerous yellow journalistic media being paid off by politicians and corporations, and poisoned cinema.

And because of how tribalistic minorities are you can speak all you want, they just drown you out and ignore you like animals.

>be last year
>Depressed and only solace was mcdonalds
>Their new tendies just came out
>Order, mujer tells me to pull forward
>Sit there
>Keep sitting there
>5 cars got their food at the window and swerved around me awkwardly
>stewing like crazy. About to blow
>finally mujer comes out with my measly 4 tendie order
>She says nothing and hands the bag to me, staring at my face with wide eyes
>shes waiting for me to say something or get started
>She knew she let me sit out here for almost 30 minutes for a halfbag order
>I stare back and grab the bag
>Roll up window and drive away
>let out my breath, Have a laugh
>Put pistol back in car holster
>Opened tendie box and flung the meat sticks out the sunroof
>Never return to that mcdonalds again

Live and let live

>>12679347
Jesus...
XD

>>12678213
It wasn't because you were white. It was because you looked like a faggot.

>>12680247
>I am definitely 100% a filthy minority and I think white people deserve to purge America of us and create their own ethnostate.
Well, his story checks out.

do americans know how to resolve conflicts without pulling a gun?

>>12680317
You have to admit there were enough triggers in there to conclude it was a reverse falseflag post. Iow, it was a falseflag post made buy a rightwing crisis actor hoping it would be attributed to libruhl falseflagging. We're starting to reach multidimensional chess levels here.

>>12680101
they removed marrow from them because it made them non-vegetarian. Vegetarians had a fit when they learned about it. Thats why they havent been as good in decades

>>12680332
Sometimes we use a nuke or two instead of a gun if we prefer to do things peacefully.

>>12678297
it made the local news - they didn't get a good shot of Mikey on the security camera, but after the thing caught fire, he ran in pointing back toward the door and yelled something like "Look what that cracka went and done!" doubled over laughing before he was finished pointing, and ran out. We were all too nondescript to nail down by sketches, and apparently Mike runs too fast and too black for crap security cameras.

I mean, it was a maybe 3' high, off-centre cross built of skidboard. There probably wasn't enough of it left after an hour to prove anything other than someone had lit a piece of cheap wood on a stretch of dirt that functions as an ashtray for a shitty stripmall in industrial hell.

I'm mostly just sad that I'll never have that hot sauce again. The roti was killer, but that sauce was a breast sandwich.

>>12678351
This wasn't the 50's, this was like two years ago. I was probably the only white person in that neighbourhood between 5pm and 9am.

>>12679644
>”Let’s do an experiment, class”

boomer kitchen story really
>prepping a fancy 6 course dinner at my parents-in-laws house
>making shopping list
>have to go to Whole Foods 30 min away to get the right cuts and fish
>ask mom if we have any stick butter
"OH YEAH WE HAVE PLENTY DON'T BUY ANY I WENT TO COSTCO YESTERDAY"
>go out
>buy everything
>come home
>open fridge
>it's fucking salted
Anyone who thinks salted butter is acceptable for cooking should be fucking castrated.

>>12679644
Why were they teaching you this? Is there something you need to tell us, Anon?

>Walk into Taco Bell
>Order chalupa
>"Your name please?"
>Misspeak and say "Louis"
>My name is Lucas
>Don't bother to correct them, not realizing in the moment what the consequences of that will be
>"Okay Louis, here's your order. Enjoy and please come again!"
>Can never set foot in that Taco Bell ever again
>And it's a brand new one that opened within feet from where I work just days ago
Not really rage, more autism, but still.

>>12679638
youre more likely to be shot by cops if youre white. not everything you see on TV or read on buzzfeed is truth

>>12678351
Lynching doesn’t happen anymore anon

>>12680810
Practice saying your name correctly in the mirror anon. Then wink and kiss yourself on the cheek.

>>12679923
a bartender/busboy was stacking up beer glasses, started rushing and one of them cracked under the weight

username checks out

because of the way it is

have an upboat

banana for scale

send nudes

EDIT: thanks for gold kind stranger

I NOPED outta there!

Nobody:

First off: Ew

You. I like you.

You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

I know. Isn't it just achingly wonderful?

On this day, OP delivered

That escalated quickly

EDIT: downvotes, really?

can i have that link for uhhhh research purposes?

sigh... unzips dick

RIP Inbox

Well played, sir. Well played.

You made me spit out my coffee.

You deserve more upvotes.

Are you me??

This will probably get downvoted but

Does anybody else...

Edit: word

Whoosh

Whelp

This

That’s enough Reddit for today

Karen

Unexpected _____

Wow! That really blew up

This comment right here officer

>>12677978
>drove to subway high out of my fucking mind at 230 am
>get veggie sub extra cheese
>cruise over to a&w to get chubby chicken to put on veggie sub
>drive thru chick is annoyed, it will take at least 15 mins blahs blahs
>dont care I'll wait
>fuckers bring me drumsticks instead of chicken tenders

Ruined my high

>>12680799
Fuck off upity douche

>>12680854
Because I'm good enough
Because I'm smart enough
And doggone it, people like me!

>>12680799
I empathize.

>>12680810
I've given fake names plenty of times at tb. You're just too autistic I guess. Also they call the number on your receipt usually anyway

>>12680864
You forgot the most Reddit circlejerk of all: "wholesome".

>>12677978
oooo say can you see!

>>12680086
>>12679918
Willful ignorance is fun, but ultimately unfulfilling.

>>12680810
I've put joke names on that kinda thing. Don't sweat it. No one cares.

>>12679918
>Asking for citations on 4chan
Go back to whatever subreddit you migrated from your kind isn't welcome here

>>12679626
Mc chickens went from a dollar to a dollar sixty-two here. I was outraged and ready to write my congressman. They've been a dollar for as long as I've been alive.

>>12681240
yeah that's rough man, sorry for your loss.

if i hear about the mcchicken going up in my area it's all over bros

>>12680377
>>12680317
You guys are idiots. Kill yourselves

>>12679923
no its bong """english"""

>>12677978
>Order a double mc fish burger
>Only get one patty
I did nothing to deserve this.

>>12678108
Should have just said "I know"

>>12679280
Serving cold fries violates the NAP

>>12681134
cope. also its ironic that you ignore very real problems and get triggered when you actually have to prove your point.

>>12679693
i came here just for this

>>12680802
as a former teacher, i can tell you that you need to say outrageous shit like this in teh classroom

>>12680089
it's actually 7 minutes.

>>12681240
that means youre underage.

>>12679347
ok donkey

>>12680332
>mentally ill man wont stop throwing trash into dumpster
>police won't do anything
>confront violent man that threatens death every time with firearms
>he threatens to kill you
>he prepares to kill old man with bat
>old man kills him
>"OMG! Why didn't the guys with the guns just leave! They had so much time to retreat!"

Retards.

>>12679280
You know for a fact that we have a hair trigger, but you poke the bear every chance you get anyway.

>>12679918
There are dozens of studies and interviews with officers which demonstrate that police are more tolerant with non-whites for fear of using too much force or getting called a racist. Blacks merely commit crimes at a rate four times that of white people (13/50) and are more combative so the law of averages is not on the side of law enforcement.

Go be a Democrat somewhere else.

>>12680274
me every tuesday

>>12682313
See, here is my issue.
>mentally ill man won't stop throwing trash into dumpster

Why is that an issue? Even if it's large shit and it takes up space, it's still just fucking trash and its where it is supposed to go..

>>12677978

>the I went to this McDonald's when I lived in the US because it was down the road from my parent's neighbourhood they were living in

I don't know why you'd build a new upscale-ish Macky's in Garden City. They're asking for this sort of shit. Especially when 5 minutes the other direction is a nicer McDonalds with a turbo rich clientele right across the city line back into Savannah

>>12682335
It's not his dumpster. It's cool if I throw my trash away in your can, right bro? I don't want to pay for it but it sounds like you don't mind.

Anyway if I recall it wasn't a dumpster it was an alley behind the pair of guys' house and this wasn't the first altercation.

>>12681193
It's the opposite actually, you need to fuck off

>>12680516
I hope the lesser races never treat me that way. I go to a local Indian restaurant and they always banter with me about how I want it Indian spicy but actually deliver and then give me big ups for eating it all.

>>12677978
not fast food related, but still food related
>go to Lake Havasu, Arizona for vacation with 3 other buddies
>just turned 21 and am the youngest so everyone is getting drunk at every hour of the day
>had blast
>last day of night in nice condos next to lake
>one buddy doesn't want to leave yet
>he orders us a hotel room to stay at one more night
>drive 10 min to hotel
>its run by Indians (the smelly curry kind)
>clearly have their huge family living in hotel
>outside was littered with kids toys and bikes
>inside smells like pure curry
>start spouting "HOLY KRISHNA" and trying to hit on small indian woman who is helping us.
>walk to our room on 2nd floor
>indian woman coming out of our room just as we leave, she was not in a workers uniform, claims she just cleaned the room
>go into room
>smells like fresh curry in microwave and whole room
>clearly she was just living in that room until we came
>start getting hammered before going to the bar
>2 hours into chilling in the hotel room
>our window suddenly bangs, LOUD.
>"we are on the fucking 2nd floor, wtf is that?"
>look out window curtains
>some fucking white tweaker is on a ladder trying to look into our room and pretending to clean the window between looks
>open the curtains fast
>he almost falls off the ladder from being spooked
>go outside
>he claims he works for the building and is cleaning the windows
>"you guys arn't cops are you? cool. can you delete that video you took of me on the ladder?"
>"you guys want to trade your cold Bud Lite for my warm Hienkin thats been sitting in my car for a couple days?"
>start to go back to our rooms
>start chugging whiskey an hour before we go to the bar
>flipping the beds at this point and thrashing the room because of how shitty this place is
>everyone tells me to go get coffee from reception area
>realize that im pretty drunk as I walk down the hallway stairs
>try to act natural
>go to coffee machine
>no more styrofoam cups, fuck
>no one in the reception area
cont.

>>12682350
>"uhm.... h-hello?"
>"HELLO!?"
>ring the bell on the counter
>no one
>go back to machine
>look under table for cups
>look behind machine for cups
>look behind me
>there is a huge cardboard box, half my height just propped up against the wall
>look inside of the flap
>a bunch of styrofoam cups stacked upside down in plastic
>"Ah, perfect!"
>grab 3
>start making the coffees
>out of no where
>"HEY!"
>mad indian man with beard comes out of nowhere from behind the counter
>"HEY YOU! WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE CUPS!"
>look at him dumbfounded
>point to box right behind me and next to the machine
>"WHAT!? WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? WHO SAID YOU COULD DO THAT?"
>"Sorry, dude, there were no more cups and nobody was answering the bell and I just happened to find these, my bad man, wont happen again"
>"NO. THAT IS NOT OKAY, YOU ARE NEVER TO DO THAT AGAIN, OKAY? YOU ARE- YOU KNOW WHAT. WHAT ROOM ARE YOU IN"
>"oh uhmm, I dont really remember man, i was just getting coffee really quick, I think its on the 2nd floor"
>"DONT TOUCH OUR STUFF AGAIN. YOU KNOW WHAT?"
>he then leaves and acted like he was getting someone else
>I pickup the 3 coffees
>start to sprint walk away to the hallway stairs
>spilling a ton of coffee as I do
>get to the room
>knock on the door softly and softly spout
>"open it! open it! open it! open it! hurry the fuck up! holy fucking shit! hurry you stupid fucks!"
>they open it
>tell them that some curryfag just got really pissed off at me for finding styrofoam cups and he asked me for the room number
>friends laugh
>go to bar
>get fucked up
>get back to hotel
>pass out
>check out the next day
>right before we leave
>buddy asks "is that the box with the cups?"
>"yeah, man"
>buddy goes into box and takes a stack of cups, even though there are some next to coffee machine
>curry woman says nothing, clearly doesn't give two shits
>go to car
>as we're waiting in the car
>can see the curryfag man with beard come from the back
>looks inside the box and gets mad

>>12681947
Bongoloids

>>12682350
>>12682401
consider brevity

>>12679693
>this happens always when I come here
The why keep coming? Imagine being so hooked on burgers that you go to wendies, even though you know it sucks.

>>12680810
What's the problem? Just go by Louis whenever you're there.

>>12680869
Where the fuck are Subway and A&W open that fucking late?

>>12681967
Look at the stats. Non Hispanic Whites are 53% of police shooting deaths, about in line with population, Hispanics are 17% of police shooting deaths, which is actually lower than their percentage of the population. Blacks however get shot above their population percentage at 26% of police sooting deaths. However, at thirteen percent of the population, they commit almost half of all violent crime and a third of all cop killings.
But this is why "in the same scenario" is so important. Look at a cops and robbers thread on /gif/ and FBI crime statistics and it becomes very apparent these isn't shooting based on the color of skin. Just like the wage gap myth only exists if you completely ignore occupations, education, and hours worked. Context is very important.
But if you want to continue to wallow in self righteous ignorance surviving on easily digested agenda pushing factoids, be my guest.

>>12680332
Respect our beautiful culture, bigot.

>>12680853
sadly

>>12682341
Yeah, I've had to keep stinking, rotting garbage on my porch because people used my bin and made it too full to fit all my trash.
They can fuck off with that.

>>12682805
How do we know these statistics are reliable? Isn’t it the police and the courts who report them? They’re exactly the party that would lie about this kind of thing. People get shot by the police for no good reason all the time.

>>12680332
Do yuropoors know how to have a conversation without bringing up Americans?

>>12678060
Are you telling pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur?

>>12682677
Consider expanding your zoomer attention span

>>12683492
All government statistics are true.

>>12683507
Despite the European's vast history and culture, all they can do is talk about Americans. They almost forgot they exist and constantly worry about what Americans do. It's really sad.

>>12683710
Nah, it's more like the morbid fascination of people being unable to take their eyes away from a catastrophic disaster.

>>12683492
Homicide isn't easy to sweep under the carpet these days

>>12677978
>go to comsic dollars and order a fuckheug covfefe
>wait 20 minutes
>finally get covfefe
>say I ordered something else and demand an exchange
>take my drink anyways and walk out
Fuck you Kiara now I have to go to Peet's.

>>12677978
I don't get mad about food because I'm not a fucking retard and realize I have 7500 comparable other options around me to go to

>>12682805
>53% of all non-hispanic whites are killed by the police
holy shit americans

some woman was fired because the manager saw her leaving the fries on the tray on the counter instead of under the heater while the rest of my order was being prepared

it was a bit uncomfortable

>>12685179
Easier said than done, but should have tried to do something Chad like eat some fries and say "Perfect! Best fresh out of the fryer."

>>12680511
Regale me with stories of the carribean
me no want na trouble

>>12677978

>Always treat food service workers with respect and say please and thank you

>Almost always get a smile or a shocked look from them

>Some places I go they know me now and I always get hooked up with extra fries and other items

>Never have a problem with food

I guess the rage story is being with other people who treat food workers like trash. I can and have canceled my order when a friend has been a dick to them. You don't fuck with people who are making your food.

>>12686011
Some people from certain areas view being polite as being fake. It's a bizarre mindset.

>>12686031

I know what you mean but at least for me it's been resolved with a genuine smile most of the time. I think most of the shock is from a big white guy with a shaved head being polite and not smiling like pic related.