/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12588811
i've slaughtered many chickens when i was young but since i grew up on a farm this wasn't traumatizing
chickens are cunts btw, if you spend any large amount of time around them you will lose any empathy for them

>bought a live animal
Yes.
>to butcher yourself
Yes, after I had the abattoir slaughter and dress it for me. The only live animals I've butchered are frogs.

Good work. Lamb meat is smelly and gross anyway. Next time buy a pig.

>French
>Hallal
Like pottery

>>12588811
>I couldn't do it and let him run away
No you didn't. This whole story is a lie, OP.

my family buys a suckling pick to kill and eat on new years and roast in the back yard at my grandparents house and one year when i was a kid i thought i could help out my father and uncles and prove i was a man by slaughtering it myself. I had seen them tie it up by hind legs from a tree in the backyard but i was not strong enough to do that so i bought it into the kitchen and ask my little cousins to hold it for me with a bucket under the throat. unfortunately when i slit its throat it got loose from our grip and run around the house making the most horrible screaming sound and spraying blood on my grandmothers furniture, then my dad catches it and uncle ties it up and finishes him and then my dad catches me and beats me while my mother is crying while she tries to clean up and my grandmother had to throw away her couch because it is cover in blood.
now every new year my family laugh about it and my uncles make a joke like i am a psychopath and say things like 'hide the knife!' and pretend i am try to kill them

>>12588811
>let him run away

Good job. Instead of giving him a quick and painless death, he probably roamed the countryside starving until a magpie picked the eyes out of his head and left him to walk around in agony before he died or a fox probably tore his stomach open and ate him alive. Good job OP! You're so moral!

>>12588843

Why ? Ton of farmers sell livestock if you pick it up at their farm. A pig is like 100$.

>>12588872


He is still eating grass in field nearby my place but nice try.

>>12588842
Come on man it's bait. It's exactly what OP intended for this thread to devolve into. Be smarter than them.

>>12588863
Eastern/Southern Europe or LatAm?

>>12588811
i shot a man in reno just to watch him die. does that count?

>>12588811
I have killed deer, dog, wolf, goat, coyote, cats, birds, lamb, sheep, cow, kitten, puppy, all kinds of rodents rabbits, guinea pigs, turtles, snakes. Probably more I can't think or right now. Homesteading is not for the weak let me tell you boy.

>>12588840
Seems like you bought goat or sheep that was sold as lamb. Raise your own shit so you know it is good.

>>12588875
>Why?
I dunno, I'm assuming you lie for attention

>>12588828
Fucking this, my family had a few chickens but just for eggs. I always cringe when I hear vegans talk about how cruelly we treat them when in reality if they were larger and had thumbs they'd do much worse to us. Fuck chickens.

>>12588985
Very true, an angry rooster would fuck your shit up in half a second.

>>12588923
Why would you kill turtles? That makes me suspect you're the kind of faggot who kills any snake on sight because you're too lazy or retarded to bother learning to identify poisonous species.

>he never heard a pig squeal while having his throat cut (to gather the blood in a bucket )


Pretty traumatic experience as a kid.

>>12589015
Turtle is delicious and I kill rattlesnakes because they are delicious and present a hazard to the children that are around. I leave the other snakes alone. Live my life then talk.

>>12589037
I have seen people squeal and die as a kid. If only you knew how had things really are.jpg.

>>12589048

Story?

>>12589057
Lived in the ghettos of Chimpcago for a decade. Some people think only usain bolt can run 25+ mph and they are wrong. When you have enough adrenaline pumping through your veins you can turn into a chimpanzee very quickly.

>>12588882
post pics of cute sheeper

>>12588911
Did you harvest the adrenochrome?

>>12588828
Absolutely, had chickens for eggs a large part of my childhood. They are absolute niggers.

>>12588811
Why would I need an animal to butcher myself? And why would I wanna do that? I'm not suicidal or anything.

>>12588811

Hogs and chickens mostly, split cows every once in a while with my in laws, also goats on special occasions.

>>12589097
You will never have a connection to the food that you eat. Your ancestors had this for millions of years and you throw it away for some sense of false superiority.

I've slaughtered Lamb, steer, and camel for eid. Tbqh, fuck skinning it's the shittiest part of the job. Also, working with idiots who always knick the stomach or gut is the second shittiest part of the slaughter. Worth it for top tier meat though.

I like to go to the craigslist pets section and look up "free chickens/roosters". I always snatch them up, slit their throat and drain them before serving them up for dinner with veggies. Delicious and free!

>>12589087
i fucking giggled

>>12589080

>>12589262
Surprisingly wholesome. I'm glad you have a friend. Who shaves it? Sheep have to be shaved or they end up like this guy after years of neglect. (his name is shrek the sheep)

>>12589262
>>12589287
> tfw no fluffy sheep to butcher for fresh tasty meat and a warm fur for your family

>>12589287

An old couple who has a horses haras take care of him. Their daughter loves me.

>>12589316
use the sheep to seduce the daughter

>>12588811

>>12589334

She is a 18yo sweatheart who is already in love with me. I'm too old for her. I like her a lot she is a real farm girl.

>>12588811
YES

>>12588863
That was a good story, but I'm sorry you have to deal with "lole you remember that one time?? HAHAAAA!!!!" while they secretly stab you with their eyes.

>>12588888
What the digits?

>>12589042
Are kittens and puppies delicious too?

>>12590042
Cats will get out of control and go feral, one tomcat can breed with an absurd number of females and in a rural setting can easily have territory of square miles and multiple farms if he has no competition. At that point if your cats aren't really house domesticated, which most barn cats aren't, than you either have to kill the litters or risk them breeding out of control and becoming diseased and predatory on the other animals, a pack of starving feral cats can and will take down dogs and anything smaller to feed themselves.