/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12580942

>>12580983
Too spicy for white people

>>12580953
this causes me great pain

>>12581022
guy on the left isn't a virgin, he's had hundreds of cocks in his ass

>>12581035

>>12580942

this also works with midges

>>12581083
Yeah you better watch out whiteoid

>>12580956
I like thing!

>>12580987
a fed bear is a dead bear, that thing has probably been put down by now

>>12580953
>All I ate yesterday was a single pizza

>>12580977
Disgusting

>>12581032
I'm not sure if she's cute or just thin and Asian

>>12581068
wait what ?
and here i thought i was still a virgin
thanks anon

E G G
G
G

F O R T
O
R
T

>>12580953
fake and gay

>>12580947
Glued to the board / sealed on somehow. You can see the cutting board move at the end. Stupid lying chinks.

>>12581137
whats wrong with you? might be a pet bear. either way youre a negative person. being joy instead of this downer shit my man you will be happeir

>>12581263
Stage 1 denial

>>12581025
>>12581032
this is great! what a madwoman

>>12580987
whats he drinkin

>>12581137

>>12581002
The beer pour pissed me off, they didn't get any foam because they have no idea how to empty it into a glass.

>>12581083
too late
>>12581102
cope

>>12581093
What is a midge

>>12580998
Someone actually wasted days of their life making this

>>12581044
Are those being delivered to the King of the Fort?

>>12581430
Mosquito.

>>12581450
>insinuating the surly king would ever use pre-cracked eggs
faggot begone

>>12581430

>>12580947
ooohhh berry sharpu! prease enjoy-masu

>>12580942
i have to put my dog down this week or next week

>>12581011
imagine the smell

>>12580947
haha imagine cutting into a little girl's abdomen with this haha the guts spill out with no effort

>>12581511
your dog's temporary pain doesn't take anything away from all the good times you had

>>12580993
wtf americans

>>12581303

>>12581281
hmm, nice catch

>>12581068
Receive anal preserves your virginity, turbovirg.

>>12581584
The poophole loophole is a myth.

>>12581281
i put a rubber mat under my cutting board because it slides around like its on ice.

>>12581598
:^)

>>12581013
>doesn't butter the bread before putting together the grilled cheese
GTFO!!!

>>12581013
Most of them could be worse.
But the oreo part is just fucked.

>>12581025
>i'm just going to weave up some ramen in the office, don't mind me

>>12581359
>that one Jewish guy at the office who uses this

>>12580987
It's on the sugars

>>12581723
But why

>>12581283
no you are a naive and ignorant person that has never seen or had to deal with a real bear in person. A 60lbs dog can easily kill a person, a 600lbs bear can slap so hard it can snap a cows neck let alone its claws that are as long as steak knives. You can't make a pet out of wild undomesticated animals PERIOD their natral instincts will cause them to attack you for something as simple as smiling because to the bear it thinks you're showing teeth and challenging it even if its just to play it can easily kill you by accident

How can I watch these on iPhones apple is so gay

>>12581550
kill yourself you stupid fucking faggot
>>12581511
God bless, Anon.

>>12581736
Internets.

>>12581598
>The poophole loophole is a myth
yes..one we should be propagating

>>12581769
Huh?

>>12581775
>its a sink
>sinks gett wet
>water
>ramen

>>12581794

>>12581775
>>12581822
Haha it's almost as if paint and low resolution can make any damage appear repaired.

>>12580956
Can you imagine how many tries this had to take? What if the little retard baby didn't do what he wanted? Like it just cried and shit its pants and he had to start over? Who the fuck has a dangerous Rube Goldberg machine with fire and knives and hammers and shit around a baby? What the fuck.

>>12581763
>PERIOD... !
kek, shut yer yap, fag

>>12581829

>>12581359
MOMMY NOOO, NOT THE FOOD CAGE

>>12581856
This is great stuff, Anon. Where'd you find it?

>>12581856
>>12581822
>>12581775

fake as fuck
he pretends to put in noodles but after the cameracut its all nice and filled in

My guess is that he has some actual filler that looks like instant noodles so he does the whole setup for internet fame

noodles first>meme seasoning>camera cut>take it all out>fill in with actual filler material>cut again so it looks like its still noodles>do the work

>>12581880
tik tok Chinese food.

>>12581032
Why are all chinese videos the same

>>12581598
Then why do people always tell me to have sex? Checkmate.

>>12581310
Lipton sweetened iced tea.

>>12581025
My favorite will always be the clay pot whole chicken.

>>12581081
This turned me into a suburban mom who boils unseasoned chicken breast for dinner.

>>12580956
Rube Goldberg machines give me flashbacks to middle school where we had a mandatory Rube Goldberg project in English class and I didn't want to do something so retarded so I just failed on purpose.
I enjoyed reading and writing more than building shit. Make students take an engineering/woodworking course if you want them to do shit like that, America.

>>12581965
>I enjoyed reading and writing more than building shit.
you sound pretty cool tbqh

>>12581359
>not having your own mini fridge at work
>not teaching your children self-control

>>12581970
desu if it's an English course, you shouldn't be expected to build shit unless it's extra credit

>>12581836
i agree with you, but there was obviously a cut during that part, based on how the camera moved differently there

>>12581981
Is this the same reason you produce when asked when you have failed at life?

>>12580998
I really wonder what it tastes like.

>>12581951

>>12581970
>tbqh
Ano...

>>12580977
what is that?

>>12582024
strawberries

>>12582022
No. That would be more like, "Why do I have to pay to breathe."

>>12582085
Is China trying to outweird Japan

>>12582085
this is painfully unfunny and goes on far longer than it should
we get it, there's a torch out of shot for all of the flames over 4 seconds

>>12582037
Inefficient pasta.

>>12581281

cut side down tomato, plastic mat, granite countertop. you don't need glue for it to move.

>>12580993
*wrings palms*
It brings a tear to my shekel spotting eye to see such diversity and globalism.

>>12580947
>>12581281
>>12581583
The trick is to make a suction cup with the bottom of the tomato.

The initial cut is a ring shaped slice set aside leaving the flowerbutton in tact to create a suction cup out of the bottom of the tomato so that it would adhere to the board.

Yeah, the knife is probably sharp but ...tricks.

>>12580998
nigga, just eat the fucking strawberry.

>>12580953
eben meme

>>12581891

>>12581511
That's a bit extreme. Lots of dogs get confused by asparagus fences.

>>12581032
I wish she dropped the plate at the end.

>>12581197
>>12582037
>>12582118
It's German Spaetzle you retards, and it's delicious

>>12581933
that first Indian man is possessed with an evil spirit

>>12581891
No , i will not allow this

>>12581895
this is great until it starts to absorb moisture and get moldy

>>12582239
That’s what I figured but I’ve never seen it done like this before

>>12582033
Why are zipper heads so odd?

>>12581511
Cook him, gift him a last chance to please you as you know he would love to. Cook something with his remains. post it afterwards

>>12580962
I bet that's good but I'm not falling for the ruse that it is healthy

>>12582274
My German grandmother used to do it that way

>>12582298
kys, kraut

>>12581083
:^)

>>12582316
Does your handler know you're up past your bedtime

>>12581933
indians are revolting human garbage

>>12581822
What a terrible tape job

>>12580953
how absolutely pathetic must one be to concieve of such a thing

>>12582327
The guy is patching with freeze dried starch. He uses a rattle can on a BMW. His taping is the least offensive part

>>12582320
your mom handles my balls

>>12580942
safety first!

>>12580987
i can feel that glug

>>12581511
sooner rather than later. don't make it suffer for your sake. let him go, bro.

>>12580987

What's wrong with that dog?

>>12581359
I used to use one of these because my stepsister is a pothead who will get the munchies and eat anything she can easily get her hands on. It worked 90% of the time. I'm so glad she's been kicked out.

>>12581571
but
but

>>12582649
>he didn't try and extort sex from his stepsister by threatening to tell your parents about her weed stash/habit
Sign of a true pleb

>>12581044
For what purpose??

>>12582672
First, she's completely repulsive (6/10 looks, 1-3/10 hygiene/personality/brain/etc.)
Second, her dad and my mom know she's a pothead and don't care as long as she buys it on her own dollar
Third, she's a lesbo

>>12582695
imagine having a lesbian and a faggot as kids...
your parents must sleep well at night

>>12582695
It's not about the looks, you fool. It's about the power. It's about the idea that you can make someone your cock slave, just on a whim, not even because they're attractive or you actually want something from them. All you want is power. One day when you're older you'll understand.

>>12582708
I must be so far in the closet that only random /ck/ shitposters can tell otherwise, given that I have a pregnant wife.
>>12582710
Not everyone on the chan is a sociopath. One day when you're older you'll understand.

>>12582721
>and he's a cuck
ho-ly shit

>>12581137
That's obviously a captive bear

>>12582721
Just so you know having a wife and child is a common homo tactic. It's called a "beard", it's a diversion tactic so that everyone thinks you're a straight, loving family man but in reality you're getting you asshole pounded at gay bars and park bathrooms at night when your wife and child are at home sleeping.

>>12582725
So now you're a prophet too? I guess I'll find out in 4 months whether she pops out an aryan or a half-black baby, kek.

>>12582291
what's unhealthy about it?

>>12580942
wow that was great.
I was really rooting for the protagonist, glad they came through in the end.
feel good hit of the summer/10

>>12582731
>It's called a "beard"
I'm doing a terrible job at that, apparently. I haven't even talked to a gay guy since college. (As far as I know)

>>12580953
Why are Yuropoors so goddamned disgusting? Fuck what a repulsive people.
You can't fake that level of morbid obesity either.

>>12582751
well I'm sure it's hard to talk with a mouthful of cock

>>12582761
Your intimate knowledge about whether people you've never met are homos or not make it more clear every post that you're speaking from experience.

>>12582771
holy shit dude, where's this hostility coming from? I was just trying to have some fun with ya

>>12580956
one of the best I have ever seen! The candle melted butter slide and the flawless integration of the toddler were new tricks to me.

>>12580956
I like how he has a stashed chucky doll that he places on the shelf for some reason off camera

>>12582298
The Spätzle webm is from this video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y6Ga9hMm4Y

Worth watching for the hilarios Swabian dialect alone.

>>12581398
They deliberately poured it like that for effect.

>>12581976
>Not having a fucking bear to test you meme products

>>12582841
>chopping strawberries/carrots up to five days in advance
>leaving chopped carrots in a dry container
>leaving a sandwich in the fridge for five days then giving it to your child
>ham and fucking mozzarella
>serving your child a wrap that is literally just a shitty whole wheat tortilla, lettuce(which will sit and wilt for up to five days after being cut), and sandwich meat chicken.

Jesus fucking christ. The only thing worse would be if an adult actually made that food for themselves to take to work.

>>12580977
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y6Ga9hMm4Y

>>12582778
You can tell he's legitimately homosexual since he's so defensive

>>12582732

>>12582841

The fuck? Those sandwiches would be stale as your dad's balls by the end of the week.

>>12580953
I wanted it until the chocolate

>>12582967

>>12582964

That's what she said.

>>12582695
How is her Hygiene bad?

>>12580942
>Ctrl+F
>egg
>no eggfort
Let's change that.

>>12582970
you sound upset, did someone do something unimaginable to you recently?

>>12582678
Mayo companies?

>>12581083

>>12582923
you must have some rage and gayness in you. Haha. you seem to be the defensive, loser. lmao it's ok to let it out you will be accepted in society.

>>12583007
this is actually retarded. you can tell something is wrong when they lift the pizza slice. cheese is a lot more stringy than what the "glue" showed. must be a Hmong gimmick.

>>12581775
I mean, didn't they used to patch the great wall with rice?

>>12580983
No shot of one of the cubes being pulled apart to reveal melted cheese?

>>12580942
What is this fucking pokemon

>>12581032
Clumsy bitch

>>12580956
oh my god a butter slide that machine is right out of braveheart the pc game

>>12582967
left out the celery salt

>>12582855
if this is not a reference to a show or a movie then this is dumb as fuck

>>12582852

>>12581836
I have made a rube goldberg for school and I too have fucking anxiety watching this for how much went into it.

>>12581836
I hear ya, man.
I always thought the stuff they made the kid in this movie do was really unethical too. Babies shouldn't crawl around on construction sites unattended.

>>12581359

finally, a solution to prevent my bear roommate from stealing my late-night snacking treats

>>12582988
>88
how does he get out without breaking all the eggs?

>>12581398
It's some very crap beer. If I poured any decent beer like that I'd get the glass filled 80% with foam before emptying the bottle 1/3. You need to deliberately pour gently over the side of the glass not to create too much foam. I don't know what sort of crap beer it takes to pour it like that and not get any foam at all.

>>12581723
That's the most random thing I've seen in a long while.

>>12581571
>cooking with aluminium
NO

>>12583053
>I mean, didn't they used to patch the great wall with rice?
They still do that, it's surprisingly durable

>>12580987
What a party animal ;^)

>>12581965
>>12581970
Hahahaha pathetic retards, holy shit. You're both dumb bitches.

>>12581763
But it's been done. Have you never heard of Hercules?

>>12582025
The way the chinks treat their food is truly inhuman.

>>12583007
>those hands
Disgusting

I wonder what caused the shift in these threads, to prompt the mass-posting of Buzzfeed/Tasty/Vox webms every single time, plus meaningless webms of streetfood pulled straight off the same Facebook pages every time.
It wasn't even one year ago or so that these threads were made up mostly of stuff that was considered "funny" or at the very least interesting to look at, but what the fuck is this shit?
Is it literally one anon, vomiting his entire Buzzfeed/Tasty collection every single time he spots a webm thread?

Even when something newish is posted (like the chink youtuber here), it's never one thing or two, it's a thread-overtaking flood from a single person.

>>12582841
This is so awful that it must have been made by the guy who is obsessed about faggot meal preppers

>>12582033
why doesn't she get killed by a car?

>>12580956
Ok this is unironically epic

>>12581494
lol

>>12581895
>spray water on chair
>blow dry it
>chop it in half
>fill it with ramen
>splice the video together
you're an idiot

>>12582025
Didn't know cannibalism was legal in China

>>12580953
Jesus fuck Americans what are you doing

>>12582841
do americans really?

>>12582967
>neon green "relish"
nah, that ain't relish, do it right you fucks

>>12581310
Piss bottle

>>12582967
Wow! Now I can enjoy hot dogs from all across the states this 4th of July thanks to French's™ Mustard. God bless the USA!

>>12581013
Peanut butter and doritos is a good combo

>>12583566
what is happening in this?

>>12581775
>when you need to get your security deposit back by any means necessary

>>12581137
THIS. These faggots don't know jack shit about country living.

>>12581694
The jews and muslims at work have them, so their food won't become treif or haram.

>>12583604
She is a eurocuck like you Muhammed.

>>12580987
Badland chugs is a weird channel.

>>12580987
danger dog

>>12582969
what the fuck is wrong with people?

>>12583868
veganism is a mental disorder

>>12582154
>Poorfag spotted

>>12581281
t. sharplet

>>12582783
Dumb, a decent sweet potato is nice and sweet enough without sugar and corn syrup when fried or roasted.

>>12581933
what's the point in comparing this when all the poo in loos are sped up and only the asian guy is actually in real time?

>>12583934
I like some butter and cinnamon, and that's it. All that other junk is inviting the beetus.

>>12580947
Sharp knife.
Sharp, sharp knife.
Knife so sharp it killed OJ's wife.

>>12580987
Fuck yeah!

>>12583218
he cooks them all

>>12582878
Everytime I see disgusting, dirty nigger hands anywhere near food it makes me want to vomit. Like it's a physical reaction, my stomach starts churning and I want to throw up.

>>12582870
odd how he totally saw it coming hmm weird

>>12581515
the fumes are toxic and choking

I did this once with a piece of bread, it floored me

>>12580956

>>12583944
>>12581933
he is still waaaay faster tho. what a fucking legend...

>>12580942
That is cute way too cute

>>12580947
imagine that knife on your dick haha

>>12582788
>Cream cheese, cheddar, mozarella
>Fondue
Delete

>>12581398
They didn't pour it to get foam, they poured it to get lasting foam they can use for the next 4 hours if need be

>>12583934
communists kys

>>12584021
Thanks, I'm racist now.

>>12584290
you're welcome

>>12581511
Feed him smelly cheese before he goes

>>12580942
That is fucking adorable

>>12582342
>>12583604
its from german trash tv

>>12584388
It's from German staged comedy TV*

>>12581884
Damn you're stupid.

>>12582037
A German kind of fresh cooked Noodles called "Spätzle". Believe me...they are realy good.

>>12582959
Is this a fetish?

>>12584648
it is now

>>12582990
That's so god damn pleasant.

>>12584489
You sound mad, did someone hurt you?

>>12583671
it's haggis

>>12580993
>Columbus
Ohio mentioned!

>>12582721
>bragging about having a kid while you're still living with your parents
fucking lmao

>>12582811
>>12582785
>>12582783
absolutely disgusting go back to /reddit/

>>12583457
not sure if you've been to the south in the USA but we play with crawdads before we cook them too

>>12580998
disappapointed they didn't paint seeds on it

>>12582821
Holy s*** saved and will be trying this this weekend

>>12581281
The tomato is cut-side-down on a plastic cutting board on a granite counter, and you think the fact that the whole thing slides when the tomato is pushed is due to glue? Are you actually fucking braindead?

Your diminished mental state aside, the tomato is somewhat held in place, allowing the knife to cut it more easily, but it's still obviously quite a sharp knife.

>>12581281
shut the fuck up, walmart knives

>>12580953
Show video

>>12580987
al/ck/ really needs to get some help

>>12582993
Just use the whole egg when making mayonaise ffs. Tastes better to me anyway and yolk is best part of egg.

>>12581511
Make sure you got burial set up as well.
Best of Luck anon.

>>12581511
sorry to hear that. I had to put my dog down the other week (he was barking too much)

>>12580962
10/10
but only because of bonus points for activating his almonds.

>>12584825
are you four years old?

>>12583533
>Hey guys look at my 40 burritos
>Ready for a new week!

t. r/mealprepsunday

>>12583027
pathetic

>>12582734
muh animal fats

>>12582788
vomit
look your webms are neither funny or usable irl just stop.

>>12581022
Guy on the right just got out of prison.

>>12580942
that is extremely cute

>>12580956
im gonna miss white people desu

>>12581856
>>12581822
>>12581775
I hope no one believes these are real.

>>12582852
What's the difference between soy sauce and dark soy sauce, besides the color?

>>12580956
You should see how he wipes his ass.

>>12584730
he's right, it's epoxy you dipshit they even show it

>>12581511
:(

>>12583352
Salsa?

>>12581511
Sorry, man. I've had dogs my whole life and I know that's really fucking rough.
I make a point of getting a new one when the current one is really getting old now, because the house seems horribly empty if it suddenly has zero dogs in it one day.

>>12583851
Disgusting

>>12585368
It's as if you had a concentrated version with the salt removed, so you just get a blast of soy sauce taste and darkness without giving everyone a heart attack.

>>12585474
So why aren't we using dark soy sauce all the time?

>>12583352
Top comfy videos. I wish I had a real wok setup like she has.

>>12584884
I should have guessed what that would be

>>12582988

>>12582708
nice

>>12583007
Thanks I have pica now and can be on one of those reality shows on TLC.

>>12583616
It's Chicago style, neon is legally required.

>>12582841
>mozzarella
yea, sure

>>12582846
what the fuckk

>>12583671
Dr. Pimple Popper

>>12580956
I love the tiny hammer

>>12582783
I love Japanese sweet potatoes.

>>12582783
>>12582785
How to ruin perfectly good foods.

>>12582878
>eating dead birds

>>12580983
truly a deconstruction of the food genre

>>12583007
Jews did this to my foods?

>>12582695
Why are you being mean?

>>12583851
Come on, jeets. When does it fucking stop?

>>12584324
I would fucking break his fucking neck!

>>12585705
After he serves your food with the hand he used to touch the money

>>12583604
>>12584388
it literally says "PURES LEBEN" in the bottom left corner of the screen

>>12582988
I want to BE eggchad

>>12585470
Can someone explain this webm? Is she happy because she got a new dog or what? I can't recognise emotions very well

>>12586465
She's happy. Children have more intense emotions and can get overwhelmed and not know how to manage them.
>t. teacher

>>12583513
Majority of folk on 4chan are either under 20 and/or just cannot cook in general

>>12586663
Oh, ok. I have a disfunctional amygdala so I can't process emotional information too well. Now that you told me I can see it a bit better. She's cute as hell too

>>12586465
All I know is that pantyhose + skirt combo is sexy as all get-out.

>>12582988
He's so eggotistical

>>12586863

>>12582852
Isn't this just a shitty version of Jelly Doughnuts?

>>12580953
Do Europeans really...?

>>12581485
it's his only viable way out