/ck/ - Food & Cooking

the only people who dislike fruitcake are insufferable faggots

>>12577507
The trick is to slice off the top. Everyone hates the chewiness and the top is the chewiest part. Then serve it with ice cream.

>>12577507
I've never had good fruitcake.
Maybe it exists.
Pretty sure all the fruitcake I've ever had just reminds me of toothpaste.
Literally reminds me of toothpaste like in the worst way possible.

Fruitcake soaked in spiced rum is usually the best way to eat fruitcake. With hot coffee of course.

>>12577534
>doesn't subsist on toothpaste
Absolutely shit taste

It's best with a thick slice of cheddar cheese.

>>12577534
How? Fruitcake is actually pretty damn good in my experience. I never understood the joke about it

Fruitcake is delicious. It's dense, rich and wonderfully spiced. I really wish that the meme would die.

Homemade fruitcake is fine.
The trouble is most people's experience with fruitcake is a horrid storebought log that's in all likelyhood been forgotten in the back of a freezer for 2+ years.

>>12577507
Wtf, when Americans say fruit cake they've been talking about Christmas pudding? I've been hearing fruit cake for years not knowing what it meant

>>12577816
typical fruitcake you buy in a store is generally garbage, but so is most anything so its quite unfair

>>12577846
stop pretending to be british

>>12577846
>everything is a pudding
fuck off britbong

People say it's shit because it's shit. Fuck fruitcake.

>>12577878
We invented the language, pudding means what we say it means, fatty

>>12577929
Shut up northerner. Only backwards northern peasants call desserts 'puddings'.

>>12577934
I'm from the south you absolute mong, everyone calls this Christmas pudding. Are you an American pretending to be English or something?

>>12577846
t. roleplayer

>>12577954
A Christmas pudding is different from a Christmas cake. You know it and pretending to not know it isn't very funny or clever actually.

>>12577954
Christmas pudding is a specific type of fruit cake and probably the only good one. This thread is about fruit cakes generally and fruit cakes generally are not called puddings, and they're bad

>>12577534
Same here anon. My gma always makes it and I eat it to be nice but i hate every bite

I like fruitcakes

>>12577507
Why would anyone ever eat fruitcake when pannetone exists?

>>12577507
Christmas cake is best with marzipan and icing

>>12577954
Only foul working class oiks are this insistent on calling everything pudding. Go sit in your front room.

>>12577507
i made a traditional fruitcake recipe for christmas one year. they were common gifts because they were so expensive to make (it took me $40 to make 2) and weren't nearly as cakey as the ones you buy in the store. it was mostly just fruits and nuts. it was very good actually. i poured a little armagnac over it for serving.

>>12578476
You dont work yourself then? On the dole or do mummy and daddy buy your food?

>>12578455
this, also soaked with rum

>>12577507
I like it but tons of people hate the candied fruit

>>12577507
The same thing with broccoli being nasty. It’s just from cartoons and movies

>>12577507
>When will the fruitcake is terrible meme die?
When people learn how to cook a cake with fruit in without drying out the cake, having the juice from the fruit pool on the bottom, or a combination of the two

>>12577846
>>12577878
>>12577954
Christmas pudding and Christmas cake are two separate things. Christmas pudding is made with suet and is steamed for several hours until it has all congealed together, then flambeed at the table with brandy and served with brandy butter

its impossible to be unimpressed by fruitcake once you've taken the panettonepill

>>12578606
That looks good. Shit I'm here in America too.

>>12577507
Fruitcake is absolutely delicious. Based OP.

>>12578623

>he didn't take the Christstollen pill.

Pleb.

>>12578722
>dry cake
>soggy fruit
wa la

>>12578735

that's marzipan in the middle...

Christmas pudding > Christmas cake > stollen > all other fruit cakes > dog excrement > panettone.

You know what they say, you are what you eat OP

>>12577971
Imagine what it's like being this much of a spacker.

>>12577846
>is cake
>pudding

>>12578751
That's a mistatement of the actual quote which was, "tell me what you eat: i'll tell you what you are."

>>12577816
Storebought fruitcake in America genuinely tastes like plastic

>>12577971
Pretending to be retarded is the lowest form of trolling.

>>12577507
OP is an old english fruitcake.
shit's disgusting

>>12577971
You're a specific type of fruit cake

Because Americans don't leave the fruits soaking in booze for at least a couple months and don't add spices.
My fruit cake is great and dark and everyone compliments it, even those who don't like it because "muh booze" end up asking seconds, use frangelico or amaretto to soak the fruits at least one month prior, it'll be the best cake ever

>>12577857
> you buy in a store

Found your mistake there, bro.

Fruitcake is one of those rare foods where shit is best. Store bought, basic bitch fruit cake with none of those bullshit toppings is delish.

there are good fruitcakes and fucking terrible fruitcakes. most people, at least in america, are only familiar with the fucking terrible ones that are more like hard-as-a-rock aspics full of stale fruit.

>>12577507
OP's pic looks nasty
I promise you it can be good

>>12577507
>When will the fruitcake is terrible meme die?
Can we blame Seinfeld and New York Elites for this meme? It's like a reddit meme before reddit existed. Like Pineapple on Pizza.

>>12579367
Is it opposite day?

>>12579367
Looks like brawn.

Pretty sure the fault lies with these fuckers right here. Who eats this shit?

>>12579367
where's the cake

>>12578623
Mi hermano

>>12577548
that kinda sounds good

>>12577507
The spicing is awful, and the candied fruits are overly sweet and cloying.
Not a big fan of super-sweet cakes regardless. Prefer Creamy desserts like Cannoli or Eclairs.

>>12579367
This looks like something Jack would make.

>>12577507
>Bad tasting and unhealthy
>can possibly last for more than two decades and can still be eaten
>Horrendously heavy, could probably be used to build a temporary shelter
>Better used as something to break windows with

>>12577507
Fruitcake is great if it's good

>>12577507
>when will this meme die
When the fuckhead boomers that started it do.

>>12579466
Those are fine. I ate one in one sitting once.

>>12577507
I fucking LOVE fruit cake.

Anyone who eats fruitcake is a fuckin fruitcake

>>12577507
Alton Brown's recipe is based, two 70 year old ladies told me it was the best they ever had.

>>12577534
I hate toothpaste and I love fruitcake... seriously though. I hate the gritty, i fucking despise mint etc.
Fruitcake is heavy, moist cake filled with soaked dried fruit and rum?

Can someone actually explain why they don't like fruitcake. The 'candied' fruit is bad (if you get it from shit grocery), you don't like nuts in your cake (not all have them), it isn't sweet enough, it is too sweet etc.

If you say you don't like rum then you can't be a proper pirate and should sodomize yourself with a rusty cactus.

>>12577507
Fruit cake is fucking great especially if you go through the trouble of making your own

>>12579367
>>12579466
these are good anyone who doesn't like them is a fuckhead "ew why is the pineapple green tho" shut up

>>12578722
>>12578623
thank god for stollen and pannetone now being widely available here in the uk, back in the early 00s the only places you could get them was either aldi/lidl or overpriced specialty shop in london, now pretty much every retailer sells both, M&S had a really nice chocolate pannetone last year

>>12578606
christmas cake and dundee cake (theyre pretty much the same thing) as well as christmas pudding are too dense especially if youve just had a massive starter and main with trimmings and veg etc

>>12578448
did the mom die or something?

>>12579367
I can't tell if this is the most delicious looking thing ever or the most disgusting looking thing ever

>>12577507
>made it with a large batch
>accidentally doubled the sugar ratio
>everyone said it was the best one ever
>never told anyone but my gf when i realised, told her not to eat too much
>still feel bad about it

>>12581966
Mistakes into miracles.

>>12581978
i told everyone else that the secret ingredient is love
i told her that the secret ingredient is double sugar :[

>>12577507
Dude this meme was a meme before memes. It was a meme since like the 1940's. Good luck with meeting anyone whos had it and actually liked it.

>>12582337
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oodsEoRxcY

>>12578623
pannetone dipped in coffee with cream and rum is the best

>>12577507
The older the fruitcake the better.

>>12577507
the meme comes from people not knowing that you're basically supposed to soak the fucker in rum before eating it

>>12577507
I fucking LOVE fruitcake, it's the only holiday food I really look forward to

>>12582395
Fuck that. Thanksgiving pun'kin pie > Christmas fruitcake.

>>12582444
>poopkin pie
>not based apple pie
IT'S ALMOST THE FOURTH YOU COMMIE

fruit is fucking nasty and so is custard

>>12582674
no one believes you

>>12579367
Op here, no I would eat the fuck out of that cake with some eggnog. Fuck I miss winter.

>>12581885
Anon...

I'm sure homemade fruitcake can be decent but the bricks you buy in the store look pretty gross. I've never actually tried one because I don't eat much sugar and there's hundreds of desserts I'd rather eat before it.

>>12582364
My brother from another mother. Though I'll admit I limit myself to ageing mine 12 month.

>>12579367
Good fruitcake shouldn't have the texture of a panforte. I'm from the UK so not sure what all these references to mint or southern pudding are about. It seems to me that the cake is not being made correctly. It shouldn't be so tightly textured that it is like a brick. That probably comes from too much liquid and/or overworked batter. It is basically a slightly heavy pound cake with dried fruits mixed in after the flour. Pretty easy to make and I nailed it after a couple of Christmases.

If you want to avoid the cake drying out then you hydrate the dried fruit in a good brandy/coniac for at least 24 hours. You also bake fruitcakes at below 180c. I do mine at 140c. You wrap the cake in paper to protect it browning too much before it cools.

If you want non bitter or weird flavours you use good quality dried fruit. The shop bought ones use candied peel that hasn't had the bitter pith removed/treated.

It's pretty common to find bad fruitcakes and panettones/ pandora/colombas here in the UK. They're not that difficult to make. It's the quality of the ingredients that's the main problem though.

Btw pudding in the UK can mean both a course and a specific type of food. As a food it tended to be a steamed batter, either sweet or savoury.

>>12577507
>not a twelfth cake

it's like you're not even American

>>12585668
Twelfth cakes are British. In America we don't eat a twelfth of the cake, we eat the whole cake.

>>12585844
>twelfth cakes are the largest (aka most American) cakes, though

>>12584451
Based info anon spitting knowledge

>>12584451
Holy shit, too good, why are you here?

>>12585844
Bullshit. Britbongs eat tenth cakes They call them decicakes. Do you know why they call them decicakes, anon?!?

>>12577507
Someone finally said it! I agree. Everyone's opinion made me rethink my own until I was convinced I was wrong. I wasn't.

>>12584451
Brits are cucked by the EU and can't get proper bleached cake flour. It's no wonder they can only make dense gross cakes.

>>12578623
That shit is disgusting and dry as fuck.

>>12587454
If it's fresh, it's soft, sweet, and fluffy. Not super moist, but not super dry.

Reminder that if you want to make a Christmas cake or Christmas pudding for Christmas, do it now. You should have already done it if you want the best quality by Christmas day, but it's not too late for a decent quality one.

>>12577507
Before WWI, fruitcake was being mass-produced as a mail-order gift to send at Christmas. By the 1960s, what had once been a delightful novelty had become an inexplicable alien thing to receive, dense and heavily preserved. You got it, but didn't want it, and probably didn't even eat it. So the joke got started that there was really only one fruitcake that people kept mailing back and forth every Christmas.

That's the answer.

>>12577846
brit teeth or gtfo

>>12577507
Im not sure how its done but my aunt makes fruitcake in a pound cake shape and manages to somehow crisp it.