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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 187 KB, 300x300, d2738211-840a-4d1f-95ce-f0ece7e3892d._CR0,0,300,300_PT0_SX300__.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Wed Jul 3 03:20:55 2019 No.12577645 [Reply] [Original]

What's the worst fortune you've ever gotten from a fortune cookie?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 03:22:37 2019 No.12577649 >>12577645 How the fuck would I remember? Is this what zoomers use their limited brain power for? Remembering fortunes?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 03:22:42 2019 No.12577650 >>12577645 the misfortune of having you post this thread

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:02:06 2019 No.12577756 >crack open fortune cookie >there's nothing inside anons, i don't feel so good...

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:02:35 2019 No.12577757 Got one today that said, 'the end of one goal is the start of another'. I was just like, 'duh'.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:08:23 2019 No.12577771 >>12577645 I've never had a fortune cookie

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:10:19 2019 No.12577776 File: 39 KB, 680x695, 25d.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] get

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:10:41 2019 No.12577777 >>12577771 How unfortunate

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:12:08 2019 No.12577783 >>12577645 "Avoid compulsively making things worse."

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:12:54 2019 No.12577788 File: 87 KB, 645x773, 1465929875849.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777 >

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:13:35 2019 No.12577790 File: 3.08 MB, 400x400, 1561457355935.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777 nice

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:14:00 2019 No.12577792 >>12577645 "Bad luck and misfortune will infect your pathetic soul for all eternity"

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:17:56 2019 No.12577800 >>12577645 "we are currently unavailable. please call back later"

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:21:28 2019 No.12577814 10 of Swords - Painful endings, deep wounds and desolation beyond tears

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 04:27:29 2019 No.12577828 Back in 2012 I got one that said >You have made a horrible mistake. Think, what have you done? I now consider them bad luck.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 06:26:01 2019 No.12578069 >stick with your wife

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 06:28:01 2019 No.12578076 >>12577645 "Please stop drinking. We miss you." Last time I let my parents pick up my take out for me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 06:32:50 2019 No.12578092 >>12577645 >that wasn't soup

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 06:54:21 2019 No.12578146 >>12577645 do americans really eat these? I see this saw this shit on TV all the time in the 90s but have literally never seen them in real life.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 07:16:09 2019 No.12578180 >>12578146 Go visit some day. You'llb e surprised to see how much of the shit you thought only happened on TV is real.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 07:22:56 2019 No.12578198 >>12577777 >Witnessed

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 08:13:42 2019 No.12578281 >>12577649 get laid, dawg t. cool guy

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 08:49:51 2019 No.12578365 >>12577777 How do I become this based?

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 08:53:59 2019 No.12578374 >>12577649 on the rag much? lmao

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 09:15:12 2019 No.12578432 File: 174 KB, 500x332, 66777510112557c612c77db39a568222.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 09:17:26 2019 No.12578436 >>12578374 no because your mom already reached menopause

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 09:33:34 2019 No.12578478 File: 606 KB, 1080x1380, 1556421043314.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777 nice

Anonymous Wed Jul 3 10:34:38 2019 No.12578687

>>12577645
I always thought it would be funny if a company had their machines make 1 in every 100,000 cookies say something menacing like "You're being watched. Be careful" or "You can't hide forever. We will find you" to spook people. Obviously those ones are lame but still.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 10:39:50 2019 No.12578704 File: 51 KB, 907x597, 27857919_947680412055297_8347422995592002245_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 10:47:24 2019 No.12578731 Grabbing the cookie, dropping it, opening it after I pick it up and the paper inside was blank on both sides

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 10:57:20 2019 No.12578761 >>12577645 "You will soon achieve perfection" is one I got recently. I really hated it because I know I'm a failure.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 10:59:13 2019 No.12578771 File: 1.99 MB, 400x225, giphy.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 11:02:59 2019 No.12578783 "If you want orange juice, look inside an orange. That's where it comes from"

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 11:04:15 2019 No.12578789 >>12578783 This feels deep, but I know you just made it up. I'm conflicted, but may incorporate it into my living credo

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 11:17:22 2019 No.12578826 >>12577645 Stick with your wife.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 11:18:44 2019 No.12578832 >>12578826 Formerly You will find happiness with a new love

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 11:21:51 2019 No.12578843 File: 34 KB, 368x368, 1405357224254.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:44:23 2019 No.12579865 “A new pair of shoes will do you well”

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:45:13 2019 No.12579870 >>12578432 im glad someone posted it

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:47:16 2019 No.12579880 >>12577645 This fortune intentionally left blank

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:47:31 2019 No.12579881 >>12577645 Courage is not the lack of fear, but the conquest of it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:50:27 2019 No.12579905 >>12577645 You will be hungry again in 30 minutes. I appreciate whoever writing these things having a sense of humor.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:56:33 2019 No.12579935 >>12577645 "your mother will die in her sleep unless you convince 10 people to try the house special before noon tomorrow"

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 14:58:50 2019 No.12579946 >>12577645 halp. I prizonar fochun kuki faktori n chaina. I 5 yeerz ole

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:02:43 2019 No.12579963 "Behind every man, there are always" Been waiting to find a fortune with the other half

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:03:25 2019 No.12579968 >>12577645 Life a like a gummy bear. It melts in you mouth huh

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:04:20 2019 No.12579975 >>12579905 Why do people say this about Chinese food. Is it an American thing? I'm always full after a chinky

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:29:28 2019 No.12580100 File: 836 KB, 301x203, 1499469806090.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577777

Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:29:48 2019 No.12580101

>>12579975
It's more about Chinese takeout than Chinese food in general. A lot of it is very bland and unsatisfying. It's like, it's okay to eat, but it's not like it's a mind blowing assault of flavor. I think you just get a sense of feeling underwhelmed after eating it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:31:41 2019 No.12580110 You will soon have a bloody bowel movement

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 15:31:57 2019 No.12580113 >>12580101 Yeah a lot of take out is just the exact same meat and veg in different sweet sauces. I still feel full but never overly satisfied

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 17:28:41 2019 No.12580608 >you have many years ahead of you

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 18:47:46 2019 No.12580972 File: 24 KB, 700x368, messages.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577645

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 22:27:09 2019 No.12582001 >>12577645 My mother's said, "Your life will change forever." A week later she was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 22:28:29 2019 No.12582004 >>12577645 'At midnight, you will have your dick ripped off'

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 22:45:57 2019 No.12582076 had one that said, "plaid ties and boot jackets" no fucking clue what that means.

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 22:50:17 2019 No.12582088 Could I be alone in saving my fortune cookie strips... I hold about 20 I carry over 5 or 6

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 22:53:15 2019 No.12582098 >>12582001 change your story, type 1 is veeeery rarely diagnosed past puberty

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 23:00:43 2019 No.12582123 File: 386 KB, 577x433, pepsi crab.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577645 once years ago I actually got the famous >help Im being held captive in a chinese fortune cookie factory

>>	Anonymous Wed Jul 3 23:16:20 2019 No.12582174 >>12582098 It's what happened. Very common in my family to get it in your 40's and 50's.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 4 00:22:05 2019 No.12582352 >>12582098 >type 1 is veeeery rarely Rare isn't the same as impossible, dipstick

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 4 00:31:58 2019 No.12582393 >>12577645 "Smattering of everything, knowledge of nothing." I'm an intellectual dilettante, so this hurt. Also, my oneitis decided to date my best friend instead of me based on a fortune cookie, and I've never really recovered.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 4 00:35:10 2019 No.12582410 File: 299 KB, 500x375, 1304376955947.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12577645 "You will end up alone" Which kind of happend a few months later when my wife was trying to divorce me and took my kid away..

>>	Anonymous Thu Jul 4 02:13:06 2019 No.12582772 this was the best fortune though https://www.geek.com/culture/man-plays-lucky-fortune-cookie-numbers-wins-344-million-powerball-jackpot-1790534/

Anonymous Thu Jul 4 11:06:10 2019 No.12584042
File: 53 KB, 960x960, 1562186840501.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>Be me
>Junior year in high school
>Start having dreams that predicts on what's going happen today
>Dream about fighting with a "friend" in a Chinese restaurant
> Every time I punched her, she kept giving me that ugly smile that I hated, it made her look like she had no upper lip
>Then wake up and go to school
>It was an okay day
>I saw her, nothing bad happened. I kept pretending her friend till lunch finished.
>I was hoping for something to happen after that dream
>Bact at home, searching for food
>"Maybe there's Chinese food!"
>Run to the fridge
>No food, disappointment
>Suddenly, I see something behind my blender
>Tries to reach it
>Finds out it's a fortune cookie
>Cracks it open and eats the cookies
>gets BTFO by the piece of paper
>"A dream is just a dream."
>mfw

I actually took a photo in my old iPod touch

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