/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>be like 12
>out with my rich friends family at a pizza diner
>they order a large pizza
>everyone grabs a slice
>the mom finds a hair
>the mom, the dad and my friend all get grossed out
>complain
>we all stop eating
>they ask if we want another one made
>she fucking says no
>i just start eating the pizza anyway

bitch im hungry and im not gonna let a hair stop me

I don't mind eating hair in food.
It's not like a bone.
I once even gotten a splinter from eating clove? or some dried spice. That sucked.

>>12536163
depending on the length of hair, food and location i will continue eating. but if the texture of the food is anything close to hairlike i will be done immediately
once at BWW i got some disgusting chicken wrap, ate half of it then felt something tugging on my lip. there was a long hair that had partially gone down my throat already. i pulled it out (felt it pull through my throat) and it had food on it. i didn't eat the rest of that

>>12536163
I've learned to enjoy hair in my food. Not a lot of hair, just singular, long pieces.
And I also can't know it's in there, I prefer the surprise of sitting down, eating my food and feeling the thin strand of hair wrapping around my mouth.
After enjoying it for awhile, it's almost orgasmic to slowly pull it out, taking care to feel every inch of it slide out between my lips. Bonus points if it's already partially swallowed and I get to feel it coming back up my esophagus.

>>12536173
This. People who complain about hairs are the worst. A restaurant is a busy human environment with dozens of people working in close quarters to make you a meal. A hair is literally one of the better things you could hope to find in your food, and is probably a thousand times cleaner than the myriad of microscopic shit people will gobble up without thinking twice about.

>>12536163
Not enough piss? Let me fix that for you...

I've pulled plenty of hair from restaurant food before and just kept eating.

Hell, the other day there was something floating in my soda at The Habit. I just pulled it out and kept drinking.

>>12536280
>A hair is probably a thousand times cleaner than the myriad of microscopic shit people will gobble up without thinking twice about.
THIS. The waiter repeating your order will leave you with at least a dozen samples of his DNA.

>>12536240
>>12536209
Wow, I'm totally screenshotting these posts to post on reddit! They're like, Almost opposites, that's crazy!

>>12536163
*spits in food*
"Better?"

>>12536389
epic

>>12536163
the worst is having flies in the restaurant. then you see the fly land on the pizza on the counter that's been sitting there for ages

>>12536163
You're excused. Please, feel free to excuse yourself from the table and let the rest of us that aren't pussy bitches enjoy our meal in peace.

>waiter brings you your cocktail
>there's dead gnats in it

>>12536658
Bar is obvi shitty and doesn't reseal bottles at end of night. Sweet vermouth should be sold as a gnat trap.

>>12536658
Those are fruit flies and it usually means that they leave containers open and don't clean their taps.

anyone who has ever worked in the foodservice industry knows that a hair is nothing, there is soooooo much worse shit that happens to your food that doesn't leave any kind of evidence in it.

I found hair and asked if I could see the chef.
It was a cute girl so I wasn't grossed out and hoped for another hair from that angel would bless my lips.

>>12536280
t. sentient strand of hair

>>12536292
>mfw highschool gf wanted me to force-feed her pissy rice because she saw it in some fucked up hentai comic
needless to say I did it, made me feel weird as fuck and that was the beginning of the end

>find long hair in food
>assume it's from girl
>put it back into food
>eat it real slow while touching myself

>>12536163
Never found a hair in my food, but if I did I'd probably just remove it and keep eating then afterwards tell them I found it just as a heads up.

Do you think they would they appreciate that?

>>12537700
What's her name? Can I have her as my gf?

t. piss connoisseur

>>12536163
I got a dreadlock in a burrito once. I draw the line there.

That's a nice trick you pulled there. I probably would've fallen for it, had it not been for 5 out of my 6 workstaff being men with tapered hair, and the girl of the bunch has brown hair. Now please, if you're done trying to swindle me, get the fuck out my establishment before I shove that half-eaten burger up your used up cooch.

>>12537826
nice

>>12536280
It could be pubes or ass hair though

>>12536280
No, what? Hair is full of bacteria.

>>12536742
Like what?

>>12537691
lol

>>12536712
THANK you, I am SICK of people calling fruit flies "gnats' god DAMNIT

>>12536163
I only rarely discover 1 hair ever, usually none. Just fling it away. I'd be more concerned about the hand cleanliness of those wagies than their sparse shedding.

>>12537847
Really depends on who you told.

>>12536280
Just wear one of those faggy plastic hats.

>I'll eat pedro's residual sweat, spit, and dandruff but I draw the line at a single hair!
kitchens that have been running for at least 4 hours are filthy as all fuck, but it doesn't really matter because the human body is equipped with something called an immune system
It's kind of amazing what people will and won't do based purely on if they're immediately aware of it
a single hair will stop them in their tracks and make a scene, but they'll get food poisoning and merely consider not going there again

>>12537691
nice

>>12537691
lmao, reminded me of this, dumping 1/6

>>12541225
2/6

>>12541228
3/6

>>12541234
4/6

There are human remains in all of our food, all the time. Hair is totally harmless, its just the most noticeable.
Any and every time you go out, you are eating the bodily fluids of the Mexicans the picked and prepared your food. Their sweat, skin, oils, and snot, its already in your food.
Stop pretending things are clean, because they are not.

>>12541243
5/6

>>12541225
>>12541228
>>12541234
>>12541243
cringe

>>12541247
6/6

>>12536173
Were like you like 12, or like were like you like exactly like 12?
I don’t understand this contemporary compulsion for underage kids to add ‘like’ unnecessarily to written communication. You’re expending additional effort to ensure you come off like a retarded valley girl. And if that’s not the definition of retardation, it should be.

>>12541247
a hornet is literally a wasp

>>12541234
that looks more like a huntsman than a spider

>>12541285
I think he meant
>I was approximately 12 years old, but might have been as young as 10 or as old as 13

>>12538302
Top kek

>>12541253

>>12541285
i dont remember how old i was you sperg, it was almost 2 decades ago

>>12541285
Are you like retarded?

>>12541285
"Like" in this context means "about" "around" or "approximately." Of course you knew that already, you knew exactly what he was saying but decided to feign confusion for the purpose of making a stupid point about language that wasn't even relevant when frank zappa wrote "valley girl". Do you actually think anyone gives a shit about your worthless opinion?

>>12541584
Like apparently you like do.

>>12537622
I'm unironically kind of the same way lel I try to assess whether the hair came from a girl or a boy and use that to decide how upset I am. I would also completely welcome a waitress or female cook spitting in my food--in fact, I would pay extra for it.

one time there was a fly in my ointment. I ate it anyway.

The way people act like a hair in their food is equivalent to feces or a bug boggles my mind.

>>12536209
For some reason, years ago, I used to always have long hairs that would get stuck up my butt. I think it was from my gf giving me head, but it was fucking weird. I'd be playing with my gouch hairs, then feel a little tug. I'd pull it, and sometimes they'd go really deep and feel fucking WEIRD. Like 6 inches or so of a tiny hair sliding out of my bootie. I'd also get them wrapped around my dick sometimes.

Happen to anyone else?

>>12541285
based

>>12536163
>Waiter?! WAITER!!
>THERE IS A HAIR IN MY FOOD!
>This is DISGRACEFUL!
>I DEMAND RESPECT and DIGNITY!
I've seen people get like this in restaurants and it's so fucking uncomfortable. Chill the fuck out, bitch. You're gonna get a new plate and a discount on your meal so calm the fuck down you narcissistic hack who can't even cook.

>>12541285
Mr. Feeny said a similar thing to Corey in Boy Meets World when he was a teenager. The actor who played Corey is about 40 years old now, which means either people in your generation used "like" the exact same way, or you're a 60 year old man on 4chan. Either way, you're a faggot.

>>12544574
my dad worked in food service his entire life and if we go anywhere to eat he finds something to complain about for a free meal
i honestly don’t know how any industry workers can pull that shit because it’s so infuriating when it happens to you

>Blonde bimbo screeching about some hair she found in her food
>it’s yellow
>entire staff has black hair

>>12541285
Grody post.

>>12544594
Like, what like the fuck like are you like on about?
Like because like someone else like said something like like what I was like saying like, that like I like must be like 60?
Like you’re like a shit like detective like.

>>12541285
Like, wow, man. Digging that crazy beat.

>>12543502
Yeah I have long hair and get this a lot. I assume it's from having showers and the loose hair getting caught with the ass hair

>>12536173
This. A single hair (or two) is no big deal. Now if I find more that could be indicative of other more serious hygene issues.

>>12543502
yes, also from my gf sucking my wiener

>>12537847
I'm a server and I would appreciate it.
No one means to fuck up, but if stuff is getting fucked up and no one tells us, we can't fix it. If you tell me there's a hair I can go tell the chef and maybe seek out the person whose hair it was to make them git gud.

>>12544574
>You're gonna get a new plate and a discount on your meal
Anywhere halfway decent won't do both a new plate AND a discount.
Either you get what little you ate for free, and an apology, or you get a full replacement, but the old plate comes off the table, and you're paying full price.
I love to work places with these rules because scammers won't come back after realizing they can't get anything for free.
Nothing feels better than being smug to a rude customer.

>>12543502
sometimes small clumps of long hair (from my sister or whoever) would be in the laundry and i wouldn't notice until it was stuck in my armpit or crotch. could be the same thing

>>12546796
>I'm a server and I would appreciate it.
thanks, I also didn't know if it was appropriate

>>12546796
>Nothing feels better than being smug to a rude customer.

>I want to see the manager!
>I am the manager, ma'am.
The best smug.

>>12546830
Where I work we're between GMs at the moment so the key hourlies (servers who are keyholders & have safe access) are the only managers.
I get to do this on the daily and I love it.

Recently some hamplanet and her drugged up bf tried to steal some wine glasses, and when we caught them outside and asked them to return them, they tried to smash the glasses on the ground. The glasses didn't break. We collected them and called them names all the way down the block as they walked off.

Then they called our store and asked for the manager, which was us, tried to say they had bad service to get us in trouble, which they didn't; every time they asked for another manager we just passed the phone between us and kept calling them names.

It's like the Wild Wild West out here.
Don't be a dick to your service staff.

>>12541285
It was used once in the post as approximation of his age. Why the random butthurt?

>>12536163
>"That'll be a pound extra, sir"

If it is a strangers, then I care. I once bit into my chipotle burrito and pulled out a long hair with the bite. Couldn't stomach the rest of it.

>>12541285
shut up

>>12544636
>>12546796
Might be a cultural thing, but people don't do that here and discount + new plate is pretty standard in all but high end restaurants (where it tends to be new plate, apology, and maybe a complementary drink). Either the scamming is endemic or people would be too ashamed to pull that in this country.

>>12541285
I scold people for misusing "literally," but you're a faggot.

>>12536280
>a hair is literally one of the better things you could hope to find in your food
This is how fucking retarded people wind up when they think they're too smart to pay attention in school.
Your body hair is literally one of your external defense measures against the external environment. Damn neat its entire purpose is to act as a filter against dirt, dust, and bacteria. Your hair is one of the dirtiest parts of your body because it literally holds onto dirty things so they don't get to your skin. That doesn't even begin to address all the various parts of your own body - skin particles, sweat, any kind of fluids you might be leaking - that get trapped in your hair.
Your hair is literally one of the dirtiest parts of your body.

>>12547137
>Your hair is literally one of the dirtiest parts of your body.
Actually, dirt, dust, and environmental bacteria are not really pressing matters for the average human immune system.
Might be if you have AIDS, like you do, since you're such a massive faggot and all.

Human pathogens don't live on hair. They live on skin and in spit, mucus, and feces - all of this is present on your hands. (They also live in blood, but ideally, blood is never a factor in foodservice.)
I don't care about a hair. I would rather pull 5 hairs out of my food than have a server or line cook touch my food with their bare hands.
GLOVES, PEOPLE.

Once I had an alive cockroach on my plate, it appeared behind the boiled chicken, and walked all over the pile of rice; I remember it clearly.
Anyway I was with my granny and my brother eating in a rural restaurant, very humble, and she told us that we had to tolerate it.

>>12547048
based

>>12537691
>>12541225
>>12541228
>>12541234
>>12541243
>>12541247
>>12541253
>>12541342
>>12541344
>>12541346

Someone make one with the sentient strand of hair

>>12541285
Fucking Based

>>12545813
You're like a retard. Perhaps even an actual retard.

>>12536280
Solution: Shave the heads of every worker you employ.

>>12536712
What the actual fuck?
How can a waiter be so brain dead he'd look down at a drink and serve it when dead fucking flies in it?
Is that actually a thing or am I being memed on?

>>12548763
Man... imagine having sex with a woman...
God, gets me horny just thinking about it...

>>12536173
If is pubic hair?

>>12549633
Try that again, my ESL friend.

>>12540784
says the twink faggot

>>12547175
Gloves are a meme. Scrub up properly and use utensils. I use gloves exclusively to touch raw food so I don't have to walk to the end of line to scrub every time a burger walks in.

>second day of work at piece of shit practically fast food restaurant
>some poor fuck finds a razor blade from the flattop scraper in his burger
>too young/poor to have standards of workplace

>three years later
>hear there's roaches in the walls and crawling through the coolers

I'd eat a cake of hair before I step foot in that shitshow.

>>12541285
are you like autistic?

>>12549633
How would I know? chances are it was there before he baked it, and the heat would kill anything living on the food. just pick the hair off and eat you childish faggot

>>12549577
Have sex

>>12541584
holy fucking BASED!

>>12540527
Bug fucker

>>12536280
Hair in food isn't about the hygiene, it's about finding something inedible in your meal, and the process of getting it out of your mouth (which is a pain in the fucking ass for hair) that kills your appetite. It's like finding shell in your omelette.

>>12541250
14 yo edgelord said cringe

>>12537622
based

>>12541299
huntsmen ARE spiders. you are thinking of harvestmen or daddy long-legs. which are NOT spiders but they are really chill so they are alright in my book.

>>12546722
Come on now, one hair is a mistake but I'm not eating food with hairs all over the place you dirty fuck

>>12550106
>not looking at what you consume
I'm sorry that you're blind.

>>12547098
>I scold people for misusing "literally," but you're a faggot
I've stopped using this word completely specifically because people use it in LITERALLY LOL every sentence. I can't stand it when my friend says it but I haven't told him yet but I think I will soon. Most sentences make total sense when you leave it out anyway and there are a handful of synonyms to use so you can avoid using this now-internet word. I treat it like how "epic" was treated after it became stale (even though it made a small comeback somehow).

>>12541584
B A S E D
A
S
E
D

>>12548689
LuL

>>12552247
literally kill yourself

>>12541285
Shaggy was saying "like" back in Scooby-Doo in the fucking 60s. How old are you?

>>12536685
That's why you seal everything and place apple cider vinegar in pint glasses by lights you keep on over night. Drastically reduces fly problems, but don't keep em around for health inspectors, despite them obviously being the most clean way to deal with flies.

>>12541250
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0EkDdSP8xuN

>>12543502
They don't get up there from anything except eating them. I don't know how you convinced yourself otherwise. They don't just wiggle up there.

>>12553853
not him but i get these too and i only get them after showers so...

Lol like I literally found like an EPIC hair in my last mocha frapp, it was so like grody that when I took it back the cute manager gave me a refund and literally like a free pumpkin spice frapp aswell.

So, yeah, #blessedmuch?

>>12553864
He talked about pulling hair from 6 inches deep in his asshole. If you're experiencing the same thing then you eat your own hair as well.

>>12541285
you should like totally go and kill yourself like for real

>>12554086
>defending people that expend additional effort to type out airhead valley girl slang
You must be 18+ to post here, junior.

>>12536173
▲
▲ ▲

>>12541285
like shut the like fuck up you like annoying like useless like pedant.

>>12541285
based and likepilled

>>12541285
It's difficult communicating with someone who has a rudimentary grasp of english, Deng. How many years of shitposting do you have left before they'll let you see your wife and kid again?

>>12554657
I like, just don't get like where you're coming from, dude. Like, chill out and smoke a doob bro, lol!

>>12537826
Have you ever asked a cute cashier girl to spit in your food when no one else is around?

>>12549886

with your food.

>>12536163
I once found a piece of glass in a side of salad, that's where I draw the line. If a hair gets in your meal and triggers you, you need to get used to the fact that life kinda sucks and then you die. Stop whining about nonsense.