/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12334495
lie down on the table and have the waitresses feed you like a roman god

>>12334495
By doing it and not caring about what others think.
People are too worried about their own shit to care. The fact that you made this shows how immensely insecure you are about yourself.
I would recommend walking into the ocean.

>>12334495
with your mouth senpai

>>12334495
sit down, order food, wait for it to arrive, put small pieces of the food in your mouth, chew, swallow

Eat at the bar and have a couple beers.

>>12334495
Like a fucking Chad. Walk in like you own the place. A real Chad doesn't need emotional support buddies to eat at a restaurant.

>>12334495
With your smartphone. I eat 5 times a week, alone, at a restaurant. I don't give a fuck about anything anymore. I do like I'm eating at home. Ask for no starter, 2 main courses, sometime 2 desserts or none. Ask for everthing coming together, even sometime in the same plate. I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck.

>>12334520
How rich are you?

>>12334495
People eat alone during lunch hours all the time. Is this an american thing where it's seen as pathetic?

>>12334548
it's a flyover thing. anyone in any sort of metropolitan city is fine with it just because it's more efficient and nice to get away from constant interaction.

>>12334523
I'm traveling for my job, all expenses paid.

>>12334649
What the fuck is that image

>>12334495
Who cares. People might judge you but people will judge for anything.. just for this particular thing they may judge you harder. But who gives a fuck lol people who judge others for doing their own thing are usually just mad they dont have the balls to do it themselves

At the end of the day, the best attitude to have is a "fuck it who cares" one

Imo

>>12334495
show up by yourself and eat like you normally would :)

>>12334495
with the mindset that there's nothing else you'd rather be doing than chilling right there and eating some food

sometimes i read a book

>>12334505
Based

>>12334658
looks like pipes that need to be snaked and flushed

>>12334505
>roman

>>12334527

Aww, white people have so much soul. Im scared for a world without them

you sit at the bar and plug in your headphones and listen to your favorite podcast so nobody bothers you.

>>12334658
Looks like arteries that are clogged

After the first few times you just sort of mechanically start chewing away, wrap it up and leave

The power of routine. Deadens every emotion, from anxiety to fulfillment

>>12334658
The before and after images of an American diet.

You dont. If you do, EVERYONE secretly judges you and the staff talks endless shit about what a creepy loser you are.

>go out to eat alone
>look around, see a bunch of
>>12334527
>turn to look at the window's reflection
>it's some old dude looking back
>mfw

>>12334495
Is that Paul Harrell?
I would not bully him about eating alone.

>>12334495
just think, 150 years ago you had cowboys walking in with boots and holstered pistols, whether you knew if they were a wanted outlaw or not into a diner and would sit down alone all the time

>>12334748

Youre transporting a wild west cowboy to a modern diner. Thats not how it works

>>12334495

>>12334770
not how what works?

>>12334495

>>12334786
Nah... people will notice. And theyll judge... hard.

But who cares? Theyre randoms. Being such a cuck to the opinions of randoms is pathetic

>>12334658
Some shithead's failure at making onion rings

>>12334770
They did it in Mulholland Drive

I love to eat by myself sometimes. It's good to get away and treat yourself to something you like. I bring a book or a portable game of some sort and tune everyone else out. I'll never see any of these people ever again in my life, so why should I give a single dingle fuck about who they are and what their opinion of me is? I'm here to get my eat and drink on - not put on a show.

>>12334815
I wish I had such little self awareness and self esteem sometimes.

>>12334827
baby steps, man. look into cognitive behavioral psychology.

>>12334810
Kek

>>12334658
Looks like clogged blood vessels

Reminder to do cardio and sauna regularly

>>12334515
this is the correct answer

>>12334515
A bottle of wine is good company.

>>12334807
kek

Why would you eat out by yourself and not just order in? Especially if you’re so socially paranoid enough to think anyone cares? Inb4 the food tastes better fresh - that’s valid but it’d be even better cooked yourself. Which you might manage in the same amount of time if you include travel and waiting for service.

>>12334971
>Why would you eat out by yourself and not just order in?
because it's nice to go out every once in a while. some restaurants are actually nice on the inside. Ive also gotten so much free sushi and alcohol just by being nice to the guy behind the bar.

>>12334770
>Youre transporting a wild west cowboy to a modern diner
Good writing prompt

Just kill yourself instead

>>12334684
Wolrd

>>12334995
I always get a little bashful when they give nice service like that. I am fine with the formalities, but when the practical stranger does something nice for me while Im busy trying to ignore the guilt of being fat, it gets overwhelming!

>>12334495
Last time I ate out alone it was at this Vietnamese restaurant. I had the sesame chicken. The place was empty. This dark asian dude who served me my food stood at the head of the restaurant staring into the distance. There were no corridors in this restaurant. The place was pretty much a giant, unobscured square - like one of those modern open workspace offices.

I sat in a booth, but it didn't help. The guy was there, staring. The need to look at him returned to me over and over again. I kept my eyes on my food, but mild Tourettes had me occasionally looking towards the opposite window. I nearly choked from how awkward I felt. The anxiety reduced the capacity of my stomach, so I only ate half of my plate. For about 10 minutes I picked at the remains, pretending to look busy on my phone (just look casual, right?).

He brought me a to-go box upon delivering me my receipt. I had difficulty closing it, s-so he took over and closed it (without me asking). I said thanks, but I was actually kind of offended. I tipped something like $3.50, which was an amount over the standard 15%. I must have miscalculated. I knew I was going to go back there again, so I didn't want to offend anyone there with a small tip. I should've left $2.00 - that would have been closer to 18%.

This was 4 or 5 years ago.

This is a stock photo of something like how the food looked. The chicken was more moist, covered in a sweet glaze-like sauce. There was broccoli on the side. I always asked for extra broccoli when I went to this restaurant with my mother. I did not eat the extra broccoli when I went alone, but I did order it. It's awkward - to order extra of something, but not eat it.

>>12334495
Sit in the very corner of the restaurant and talk on the phone so that you don't seem like a loner. You don't even have to call anyone, just talk so that you sound important. Has any other anon done this?

>>12335956
yes and i wear a wedding ring too

Just sit and eat your food, absolutely nobody gives a fuck.

>>12335948
You have autism, either from that actually occurring or you spending the time to make it up.

>>12336016
It's a true story. I haven't hidden the details. I can still see the face of that Vietnamese man standing there, staring into the distance, as I try to avoid eye contact.

>>12335956
Bruh they knew you weren't talking to anyone. And even then it's still sad to talk on the phone in a restaurant because nobody wanted to actually go eat with you.

>>12334495
smartphone and headphones i guess, watch some bs on your phone and have a cosy time
alternatively invite someone

>>12334527
>he just says his wife died when they divorced so he can get free food

>>12334527
Sad

>>12334527
I wonder why the photo is tilted towards the camera. I think he's a poser.

Real talk op and anyone genuinely curious just go out and go eat on your own regardless of where/what it is, i know in midwest states its seen as a little weirder than in the cities as another anon pointed out but youre there to eat, you guys aren't in highschool anymore so life isnt a popularity contest to see who has the most friends or whatever, go to any old fashioned diner and i guarantee youll see at least one middle aged man eating on his own perfectly content, just look at what hes doing and realize all hes doing is just eating some god damn food now op please just go eat already and stop posting this thread

>>12334495
The issue that defines our age.

>>12336338
Don't be sad. He'll be dead very soon. Then he'll be happy again. Or at least, not sad anymore.

>>12334935
Lmao what does sauna help? T. Finn

>>12336407
In the 70 story building I live in in the heart of Chicago, the sauna room is made by Harvia, which I understand is a Finnish sauna company.

>>12334935
How does cardio help with clogged arteries? Are there any doctors here tonight? Is it because when your blood gets pumped faster, it flushes out all that shit on the walls of your arteries?

>>12334495
Relax, enjoy the food, and eavesdrop on anyone you might be able to watch or hear. If you can't, then just enjoy browsing your phone and shitposting in threads like this one.

>>12336413
>>12336424
bump for interest

>>12334515

>>12336369
it looks like a girl is using selfie mode

>>12334520
How fat are you?

>>12336413
>>12336538
Harvia is a finnish company, nice to see that they’ve expandef so well to the US. I still don’t understand how Sauna helps with arteries.

>>12334495
I'd say sit on the edge of the booth/table so it doesn't look like you're waiting for other people. Maybe bring a book/computer depending on what kind of place it is so you aren't on your phone the whole time

>>12334515
This is what I do.

>>12334935
>>12336407
>>12336424
>>12336538
>>12338562
If you don't want to do any body scanning but want to partly rule out clogged arteries, there are simple blood tests that can check for body inflammation:

1) ESR (erythrocyte sedimentation rate)

2) C-reactive protein (CRP) or high-sensitivity C-reactive protein (hs-CRP) test

3) Creatine phosphokinase (CPK) test

4) D-dimer blood test

The 4 above should give a good idea of the state of your blood vessels without any body scanning but I would ask your doctor to include the following as well:

5) Complete Blood Count

6) Comprehensive Metabolic Panel

7) Lipid Panel/Lipid Profile

8) Thyroid Panel

9) Uric Acid Level

10) Vitamin D levels

11) Ask your doctor to include checking for Crystals and Bacteria in your Urinalysis aka Urine Testing as well

Your health insurance should actually fully cover all the things I mentioned because these are fairly standard blood tests.

However, in the end, to detect clogged arteries 100%, body scanning is required.

I'm not a radiologist but I believe MRI combined with MRA is the best way to see your body's entire blood vessels and what is happening in each location:

MRI for bone and soft tissues

MRA for blood vessels.

>>12334516
basically this. When i eat alone I just literally walk in, tell them you want a specific place to sit (this makes you extra chad lol), get the menu and glance over it and order immediately. Then when you need something, make eye contact with the waiter and wave them over with a two fingered gesture, and just eat. and always please and thank (you's). Smiling at your waiter also makes for a confident demeanor. Just treat them like help, like they're there for.
best thing to do is when you get your check, pay with cash and leave it on the table with a decent tip and walk out without letting them know. Then when you go back you get better treatment.

this is how you dine out as chad.

As a server i hate to see fucking losers sitting alone. Theyre taking up a table a whole family couldve sat at. Less tip for me that way. Stay home if youre gonna eat alone

>>12334495
Like this!

>*pantomimes eating a bowl of food in an egxagerated and humorous manner*

>*everone laughs and claps*

Haha, thanks guys! I knew that joke would be a ring dinger! I bet I can think of an even better one next time! Be on the look out for my posts - I love to give everyone a good chuckle!

>>12339167
>less tip
Jokes on you. I dont even tip at all.

>>12336407
relations with friends and family

>>12334495
had the occasional lunch and i didnt even notice one person looking at me weird. just be calm, think about whatever it is you have on your mind, act polite and only take a 2 person table of course. looking clean also helps of course.

I tend to go eat alone after the usual dinner hours and restaurants are not as busy. Also I usually go to Asiab places and most of the waiters tend to be middle age to old ladies that dont really care who you are, as long as you order food, pay and leave.

>>12339179
Thanks, based good-natured anon

>>12334495
You don't, unless its fast food
If you want Cooked food take it home

>>12334495
only a literal autist would care

I just finished my lingering, hour long breakfast of ice coffee and a sandwich at one. I was the first customer. A bunch of people have come in and left, but I remain.

>>12339861

how did it take an hour to do any of that?

>>12336335
Stolen Burger

>>12339887
By sitting there for an entire hour, you got a brain in there?

>>12339861
Whats with all the slant eyes? Get that cashiers number for me while you're at it. Can't tell if its a boy or a girl but I'd hit it either way.

>>12339948
Japs don't like niggers, sorry anon, he can't help you

>>12334513
>small pieces

coward

>>12339937
was hoping it would be more than "i sat at this place like a retard autist for an hour long after i finished my meal that took an exorbitant amount of time to do because i have a chip on my shoulder and want to appear in control of my life"

>>12339887
>>12339983
Obviously I could have wolfed down the sandwich, chugged the coffee and left. I didn't sit for an hour after finishing my meal, I ate slowly and when I finished I drank my coffee slowly.
I'm busy most of the week. I'm often busy on weekends. But on a weekend morning at 8am when nobody else is around, it's nice to just take my time enjoying something.

>>12334684
You should read The History of the Peloponnesian War

>>12338818
Thanks Doctor Scientist!

>>12334520
I love you.

I don't understand the scared to eat alone meme, maybe it's an American thing?
I go to restaurants alone all the time if i can't be bothered to cook and want a nice meal and a drink by myself, and if I'm traveling for work i do it for basically every meal.
The only places I don't go to alone is high end fine dining or Michelin star type places, mostly because reservations are expected but also the mood of these restaurants isn't really enjoyable for me solo

>>12334495
>wear wageslave uniform
>get in early on a busy day
>ask for largest booth overlooking all the tables in the restaurant
>keep eating slowly until dinner rush starts
>glare at anyone that looks in your direction

>>12340661
I don’t mind getting lunch alone, in fact I love it. Can’t go to a place for dinner though, not my style. Something about sitting at a bar alone during busy hours

>>12334495
Never eat alone at a restaurant. If you're outside alone and hungry, go find a hotdog stand or any street food you can find.

Or you can do pic.

>>12340001
sounds cozy anon

>>12334495
Just sit down and eat. What's your problem?

>>12334520
>With your smartphone
In the US, especially, where I live this is difficult because if you're alone even if you're trying to focus on a video or read something people see it as an invitation to be chatty.

>>12334520
I'll tell you what, the way people just stare into their phones instead of talking or even looking at each other at restaurants these days, they may as well be eating alone. The loneliness epidemic touches literally everyone. We are ALL alone.
>We're born alone, and we die alone.

>Hi. How many?
>One.
>Okay. Right this way.
Proceed as normal. Leave a tip if you're feeling generous and the service justifies it.

>>12334495
With a book
I enjoy getting some time by myself with a good book and good food

>>12341387
in what kind of restaurants? and do you just start reading until the food arrives? what about afterwards?

>>12336424
Clogged arteries are inevitable. It begins around age 3.
High blood pressure slowly damaged your vessels which causes inflammation which causes your cells to fuck with bad cholesterol and start clogging.
Running helps you lower your blood pressure at rest.

>>12334495
Peacefully and happily