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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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12226260

/ck/, I created a monster Anonymous Wed Apr 24 09:50:12 2019 No.12226260 [Reply] [Original]

So here's the story: I'm moving to another state in a couple of weeks and so naturally my fridge is looking a little...eclectic as I don't wanna buy a bunch of stuff I won't eat. Still, it's 11am and I really want pizza. The problem is, I have dough, mozzarella cheese, and no pizza sauce.

What I do have, however, is an abundance of Ken's Steak House Honey Mustard Dressing.

You can imagine what happened from there - I lathered that baby up in sweet, delicious Ken's and stuck it in the oven. To be fair, I knew there was a very large chance that it was going to be disgusting, but I was absolutely not prepared for what it actually tasted like. The only word I have to describe this pizza is... stinky. I hate that word, but it is literally the stinkiest pizza I have ever had in my life. Not the smell, it's completely odorless, but there's something about mixing mozzarella with honey mustard that just tastes old. Like the underside of a McDonald's tray. I don't even know if it's bad, but it's definitely wrong.

The worst part is, it's 12 inches and I'm at the point where I can't finish it without gagging. I should have used the expired salsa in the fridge instead. Please share your worst homemade pizza stories.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 09:52:17 2019 No.12226267 its yellow

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 09:53:36 2019 No.12226270 File: 277 KB, 469x452, 1503264229728.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12226260

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 14:53:11 2019 No.12227373 >>12226260 you dont even have ketchup and italian seasoning?! too bad, that crust looks aight

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 17:18:42 2019 No.12228190 >>12226260 you could have just made white sauce or not used any sauce retard

>>

Anonymous Wed Apr 24 17:23:17 2019 No.12228217

>>12226260
Op you really just want attention don't ya?
Google image search led me to you posting the same damn shit on whatever this site is.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/era-i-created-a-monster-tell-me-your-worst-homemade-pizza-recipes.113229/page-2#post-20134298
Leupboats plz

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 17:29:42 2019 No.12228248 >>12226260 >no pizza sauce You fucking idiot. You absolute troglodyte. Pizza sauce is puréed, boiled tomatoes with garlic, onions, olive oil, and salt/pepper. That's it. What the fuck do you mean you "didn't have pizza sauce." You fucking sicken me.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 24 21:00:14 2019 No.12229248 >>12226260 A lot of food started this way just a happy little accident. Just like some people

>>

Anonymous Thu Apr 25 00:39:27 2019 No.12230014

>>12226260
once when i was around 12 i put pizza in the oven when suddenly a gas leak happened
i have evacuated myself (and my cat) and called my mom so she could come and stop the gas leak
then my dad came and he closed the gas lever and i've said "yo dad there's pizza inside"
then we open the oven and see the "pizza"
the pizza was looking very RAW, but it was COOKED
>cheese didn't melt and got dried up
>the sauce looked like if you put ketchup on a plate and then put the plate with ketchup in a microwave for a minute, then took it out and spreaded it on a bread
>the dough was more white than my skin
i tasted that pizza and at first it seemed ok until i ran to the bathtub(we don't vomit to the toilet) and vomited
after that i was some sort of intoxicated and got into a clinic for 3 days while eating crappy buckwheat soup and drinking water mixed with apple juice

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 25 00:41:10 2019 No.12230023 File: 87 KB, 268x325, WySl0IX.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>12226260

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 25 00:44:13 2019 No.12230031 >>12226260 Expiration dates are usually just dates that guarantee that the source won't be sued. Many times the products are still fine. You should have smelled the salsa and judged it yourself.

>>

Anonymous Thu Apr 25 01:05:58 2019 No.12230112

>>12226260
Worst homemade pizza was made on flour tortillas with dollar store mozzarella cheese product substitute. The tortilla wasn't the bad part, I've made hundreds of pizzas on them, I grew up poor. But that dollar store fake cheese, man. It just would not melt. No amount of heat could induce it to melt. I wound up using an oven mitt and slip-joint pliers to hold the pan directly underneath the broiler for a spell, and it did nothing to that awful 'cheese'. It retained the consistency of rubber strings, and the taste was actually worse.

My two roomates and I, we wound up having to scrape the pasteurized processed topping off, put the pepperoni back on, and dust the 'pizza' with parmesan from leftover takeout packets to make it edible. Never bought that fake cheese again. That shit isn't edible. If the bomb drops tomorrow and that 'cheese' is the only thing left on the shelf at Dollar General, I will empty the package and eat the plastic before I attempt to eat that 'cheese'.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 25 02:22:26 2019 No.12230392 >>12226260 >it's 12 inches and I'm at the point where I can't finish it without gagging Dont do this to me anon its way too early, and im in class.

>>	Anonymous Thu Apr 25 13:22:59 2019 No.12232160 Fuck, I thought you'd scrambled leftover pizza crust into some eggs.