/ck/ - Food & Cooking

That one

Years ago I was slicing zucchini and took off about 1/8th inch of my thumb. It grew back.

>>12141007
This is why you THOK the blade of a chef's knife into the avocado pit and give it a twist to extract. Avoid avocado extraction injuries people!

Also I cut the tip of my pointer finger off once and had to have it sewn back on.

I burnt my 11 year old weiner on a pan before

Worst:
not kitchen but butcher shop
>be me, in back of shop
>watch 40ish man slicing pork butt on bone saw
>clearly hasn't been doing it long
>looks terrified of the thing
>loses control due to nerves
>pushes hand all the way on blade
>splits hand all the way to mid-wrist between middle and ring fingers
>so much blood
>so much screaming
>people who know what the fuck they're doing tend to slaughtered hand while I stay the fuck out of the way
>stay until EMTs take him to hospital
Never went back there, but I'm 90% sure they weren't able to save that hand.
Second worst:
>be me, 17
>working in chain restaurant
>guy at fry station goes to prop up in the wrong spot
>hand goes right into the hot oil
>dumb fuck keeps it in for nearly two whole seconds
>skin immediately falls off his hand like wet tissue
>guy is black but the skin underneath was white as bone
I have never forgotten that.
>>12141260
That pic just has to be faked. The only way one could impale their hand like that with that knife is if they were really trying to. And through an avocado pit to boot? No way they were pressing that hard.

>>12141007

sliced my index finger open on the top and severed my tendon.

When I was in 6th grade I was making burgers on the stove. Was really into spongebob at the time and went to flip em like spongebob does. The grease flew onto my arm and caused a pretty awful burn. I still have the scar.

Was more than a decade ago. 2006.

>>12141359

first injury sounds like a clean cut with no full severance, so honestly I see no reason why he would lose the hand. he'd probably never be able to use it normally again, but a good doctor should be able to patch it up fine.

hand injury in pic is 100% doable, retard just has to hit his palm in the right spot to go passed the bones.

>>12141007
when I was 14 and had my first cooking job I burned from the middle of the back of my hand all the way to my elbow on a pizza oven, there's my worst injury

once when I was a kid I was watching my dad make hot dogs on the stove. He said "do you think this stove is hot?" I said I didn't know. He said "go ahead, touch it." I burned myself on the hot stove while he laughed and ate his hot dogs.

>>12141378
Cheap price for a good lesson.
Some people never learned to be cautious and lose a whole lot more.

>>12141384
Makes sense, on both points. Although another thing that bugs me about that pic is that it's a cheapo serrated knife that is probably nowhere sharp. It just seems like that would be hard to get far into your hand without the serration stopping you.

>>12141007
I got the clap in a Burger King walk-in

>>12141389

Sounds like your dad taught you a valuable lesson.

>>12141401

> it's a cheapo serrated knife that is probably nowhere sharp. It just seems like that would be hard to get far into your hand without the serration stopping you.

always respect the knife unless you wanna have a bad time; knives are sharp and human flesh is weak. I severed the tendon on my finger with a fucking butter knife, OP's knife would have no problem stabbing through the soft tissue.

>>12141359
It could be that the person was holding the half avocado in one hand while trying to cut out the pit or eject it with knife edge, then slid blade to the side too fast accidentally while applying downward pressure.

Sorry about the fryer incident man, that sounds bad.

>be like 10 year old dumbass
>Buy cookiedough because fuck yeah
>School day off
>Go get knife and cookiedough package
>Use knife to open it but it was sticking
>Push harder
>My dumb ass had the knife going toward me
>Cuts the package and cuts through too fast
>lands straight into the middle of my arm
>Hospital trip ensues
>Have never been able to use my left hand since due to it severing my tendons
>Had some nerve damage so I can't even feel it
>23 now and still doing dumb shit like this
>Dropped a knife in my foot while using it to stir some boiling water
>Burned my foot and the inside of it when it landed
>Accidentally walked into my freezer door because it didn't shut all the way and swung open as I walked past it
>Ended up cutting the fuck out of my shoulder because it lifted the whole goddamn fridge when it happened
>Dented the wall from it tilting
Natural selection is in play at all times and man is it showing. It at least had one benefit. Since I can't feel shit it's the perfect fap hand. Took some work to get a grip but it sure is special

>>12141359
>Oil story
An ex-gf of my experienced a similar situation at a former job she held.

>ghetto fast food that has a C rating for health inspection in downtown KC
>Ex-gf arrives to work only to witness some new girl slip and fall in the kitchen while carrying a boiling pot of water
>burns so bad that the girl lost her vision in her left eye and remainder of face was disfigured due to splash damage
>Half the staff quit that month as the owner was cheap and allowed injuries to happen a lot

>>12141517
I can't believe you fucked your arm over a package of cookiedough

>>12141529
>C rating
California here, i have never seen lower than a B rating and even a B rating is hard to get

>>12141534
Hey man it could have cut off my dick. It could have been much worse
I wouldn't want it any other way. Was some good fuckin cookiedough

>>12141540
I hope it was worthy it anon

>>12141544
Of course it wasn't but it's not like I'm left handed. We adapt. We grow. We maintain. Just because I can't use my left hand doesn't mean that'll stop me.

>>12141359
If you look closely, the blade is behind the pit instead of through it.
Could still be fake.

>>12141517

how badly did you fuck up your tendon? was medical science really that bad just a few decades ago? I fucked up my tendon this year and it was back to 95% efficiency in like 2 months.

>>12141536
Downtown Kansas City. This place (still open mind you) is semi-famous for chicken and waffles in the area. Looks like the building hasn't been touched since the 70's.

Also, you're been surprised by how many restaurants are able to barley get by with piss-poor health ratings. A top-tier place where I live at now was closed for a month due to a bad rat and cockroach problem last summer. Now they are viewed as a great place afterwards when they only did minor work to have the health inspectors step off their balls.

I got a cucumber stuck in my lower intestine.

>>12141556
Bad enough to never be able to fix it that or I'm just really unlucky
I just wear a splint from then forward so it never flops or looks weird.

I will never forgive myself for this

>be cooking new gf food on stove
>go to flip chicken breast
>flipping chicken breast splashes extremely hot grease onto gf's face
>lost complete vision in one eye and can only see shadows in the other

I have tried to kill myself on multiple occasions.

>>12141579
are you guys still together or you ruined it for good?

>>12141579
good play, now that shes blind shes completely dependent on you.

>>12141599

>>12141579
lmao

>>12141529
>>12141559
affirmative action restaurant?

>>12141007
I was making Belgian waffles in a waffle-maker and I accidently touched the side for 0.001 seconds and I still burnt my f*cking finger so bad that it was hurting for days.

>>12141007
Slammed my dick against the fridge once cause I was bored but that's about it

>>12141007
Does a mortar landing in camp while we were eating count?

>>12141579
What the fuck
Should I wear eye protection while frying!?

>>12141579

>>12141007
I cut my pinky a few months ago on a kitchen knife, I think i fucked up the tendon. It hurts like every morning and every time i clench too much..... should i go to a doctor?

>>12141839

If its been a few months the tendon already healed and the injury is permanent

>>12141841
:'( rly?

>>12141275
you shouldnt have beeb trying to prepare expired meat in the first place

Didn't happen to me or near me, but the fishmonger I worked with last year told me a story of a guy she had worked with back in the day.
He was a bit of a drinker and when he was asked to replace the oil in a fryer he decided he could get back to the boosing faster if he didn't waste time waiting for the used oil to cool first.
The fryer drained into a bucket which he was then to take away. Having had a few drinks already he accidentally spilled some of the still very hot oil onto his feet as he lifted the bucket. The pain caused him to them drop the bucket, causing further oil to shoot up into his face.
The skin of his feet stayed in the shoes and the skin of his face came off when they got him under a cold shower.
I think his footwear was open-heeled clogs which would have contained the oil nicely once it was poured into them.

>>12141359
A friend of mine ripped his finger cleaning some sort of giant meat grinder where you could fit like half a cow in at once, the thing wasnt even on and he slipped and just punching the blade almost cut his finger off
He also kept on training and the stiches popped open like 6 times

>>12141568
How?

>16
>washing dishes at VFW on weekends for pocket money
>spill a little water on the ground, wipe it up with a towel
>dipshit post vice-commander demands I mop the floor because "someone could slip and fall"
>mop the floor
>now the ENTIRE entryway is wet
>post commander/cook comes by, immediately slips and lands flat on his back
If he had gone any way other than straight back and down like he did, he'd have busted his head open on a countertop or the reach-in.
Mike, wherever you are, go fuck yourself.

>>12141260
No. You're wrong. You stick a knife into the side of the pit and gently dig it out. It rolls right out. You don't chop into it like a damn Peking duck. You'll cleave your hand in twixt that way.

>>12141852
They might be able to fix it. But don't hope for too much. Get it checked.

>>12142351
Oh, sweet, innocent child...
Leave this place. Run away and never return, before it's too late for you and you become trapped here with us broken people.

>>12142472

>Filipino apprentice chef vigorously wiping down underside of steel benches at my wood fired pizza place
>gets to the corner of the bench where the steel wraps round and tack welds together at two 45 degree angles
>catches the ball of his ring finger and strips about a third of the meat off in one smooth motion.

>>12142487

>>12142487
>Filipino
hey at least it didn't happen to a human

>>12141389
Your dad sounds based as fuck

>>12141007
I don't know if it counts as a "kitchen injury" but when I was a camp counselor, some kid hit a 6 year old girl in the face with a flaming marshmallow while roasting s'mores. His marshmallow caught on fire and he panicked and was thrashing around and got the girl full on in the face. She had a big ol' third degree burn on her cheek and needed a helicopter lift off the mountain and again, was only 6 at the time. The mom threatened legal action against the kid and the camp, but I never heard if that went anywhere.

>>12141260
just take it out with a spoon what the fuck

>>12141839
just go to the doctor its not that hard

>>12142616
thx for sharing this story. This is good to know.

>>12141839

an injured tendon feels like there's gravel in the wound. if you don't get that feeling then it's probably just sore scar tissue

>>12141007
Tbh anyone eating or preparing avocados probably deserves this

>>12141559
>Downtown Kansas City. This place (still open mind you) is semi-famous for chicken and waffles in the area.
I'm planning on visiting in the near future. What's the place called so I can make sure to avoid it?

>>12141007
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA RETARD

>>12141359
turns out we’re all the same color on the inside :^)

>be very small, very young. >5
>want brownies
>grab randomly off shelf like mom does
>flour, sugar, this brown stuff
>mix it all together
>start adding things to get the color right
>into the oven
>lol what do these numbers mean? Just turn the knob until it makes the whoosh noise.
>they don't look right
>eat them anyway
>nearly die from food poisoning

I was a bit drunk and decided to make some burgers. They were frozen as fuck and I couldn't split them apart. Being a bit drunk I didn't run them under water or any smart attempt to split them , or at least use a dull knife. So i grabbed one of the sharp knives out of the block and tried spitting them while holding them. I wiggled the knife and it went right through the burgers and into the finger beside my pinky. It was pretty deep, I needed several stitches. Gin is very fun kids.

>>12144344
I did a similar thing yesterday. Had two steaks frozen together so badly it was like they were welded together. I used a knife to try to pry them apart but it required so much force that when they finally split apart not the knife but the actual bone in the steak cut my hand and made me bleed.

When I was like 3 or 4 or something my mother left a pot of water on the stove by accident and went out to the shop to get something.

Me being a retarded kid instead of turning off the flame I tried taking the pot off of it and dropped it, spilling some of the boiling water on my hand. It's one of my earliest memories to this day, as stand on the couch near the window looking out of it for my mother and holding my burning and red hand and crying.

Good times.

>>12144018
your parents left you unsupervised long enough to do that at 5?

>>12144516
Did you live in a broom closet?

Not entirely related to cooking but I used to work fast food and this guy once fucked up opening a box and the boxcutter slide from his thumb all the way up to his forearm and he was bleeding everywhere.

My bf was flipping a chicken breast and splashed oil in my face. I'm now blind in one eye and can only see shadows out of the other.

My wife's son almost blinded his gf by pouring hot oil on her face as she was sleeping. He was mad because she didn't work enough overtime and he got tired of her laziness

I once left a pot of boiling water on the stove while I went out to get some of that good dick. I'd hoped my retard son would kill himself with it but he only hurt his hand.

Was using a dull knife and was chopping an onion.
Accidently sliced off a bit of the tip of my thumb. Very little but enough that it actually got past the skin, to the meat.
I kept it clean and covered and it healed completely about a week or 2 later.

>>12142234
based and pedopilled

>>12142234
>>12144658
tell me where you live so we can talk

Does doing dishes count? Sliced my finger crotch really bad when i stuck the sponge in a mug with a chunk broken out of the rim. It was broken so the edges were offset like saw teeth.

>>12141007
My ex-gf's grandmother stumbled and fell right into the handle of a pan full of oil which catapulted into her and burnt her entire face
She would always remind me of her grandmother whenever i was cooking and left the handle on the wrong side, nowadays i'm very careful because of this

pic somewhat related

>>12141517
How do you type?

>>12144714
One handed or speech to text.

>>12144722
Do you take too long to type or have you already adapted yourself to it?

>>12141359
What makes me believe the photo is the blue pad they're using to sop up the blood underneath it. It's the same kind we use at my hospital.

>>12141007
You just squeeze the sides a bit and the pit falls out. Are people really this retarded?

>>12141007
When I was a busboy, I saw one of the meth head cooks do the five finger fillet thing and get himself in the pinky right down to the bone. There was a pretty spectacular gush of blood. He wrapped it up in duct tape and went back to work.

Nothing too bad happened to me, worst was:
>making pork chops under broiler at home
>autistic cat tears through kitchen at mach 3 chasing ghost or something
>back of hand touches heating element
>get half-dollar sized blister on back of hand
>chase cat around house while screaming for a half hour
>hes too wiley for me

Blister got ripped off by a conveyor belt at work a few days later, there was bright red raw skin underneath. I showed my supervisor and he threw up in a trash can so that was rad.

>>12144592
>>12144634
>>12144639
Based

>>12142395
well I've been doing it the way the anon you're replying to does it for years now. works for me so each to their own I guess

>>12141389
imagine being this retarded, you don't have to touch the stove to know it's hot. Just hover your hand over it.

>>12141579
>>be cooking new gf food on stove
BRO WHAT THE FUCK

>>12141599
this, she will never leave you now

Tried to airflip a pancake and it landed on my naked tummy.
It was entirely my own fault since I should have known that the first pancake is always a fuckup.

>>12144592
please, do continue

>>12141549
Doesn’t mean it’ll stop you from what? Because it sure as fuck stopped you from using your left hand lmao

This retard used to date my sister. According to her, she was standing next to him while he was frying some chicken breast. The idiot flipped the meat over and splashed hot oil all over her face. Permanently scarred and left her blind in one eye. I live overseas, otherwise I would've kicked his ass. Worst part is she was thinking about breaking up with him a week earlier.

>14 years old
>making some kraft macaroni and cheese dinner
>remove pot from stove to drain
>replace pot on different burner by mistake
>rest hand on hot burner
>got to have cool mummy hand for a week
>cool zebra scar that gradually faded away over 10 years
No excuse. The burner was still obviously red.

>>12141389
You probably don't like your dad much, do you?

>>12145165
I'm confused. Were you cooking pancakes while laying in bed or something? How does a pancake land on your naked stomach for an extended period of time unless you're laying down.

>>12141839
>should I go to the doctor
Jesus, why should this even be a question? If you live in the UK, just walk into the nearest NHS clinic.

>>12142395
I'd wager that's EXACTLY what the person in that pic was trying to do; they were using the knife to prise out the stone and they somehow applied too much pressure, stabbing right through. Hacking the stone out is WAY safer.

>sauteing mushrooms and onions
>pan is NICE AND HOT
>add more oil while waiting for onions to caramelize
>grab steak from behind me
>turn around and right as I walk forward the family cat runs in front of me
>I trip and hit the handle of the pan
>oil, onion and mushroom fly out and bullseye the cat
>cat lived but was an uglier Siamese after that
I hated that cat anyway

>>12142616
>panicked and thrashing around
I'd honestly kick that dumbass kid onto the helicopter too to get him away from the camp. If he'd thrown it into the brush he could've set off a goddamn wildfire. Stupid people and flames are never a good mix; I remember a story my science teacher told me about a bunch of kids who stole a chunk of magnesium from a school lab and chucked the whole thing into the lake to see it blow up. Turns out the explosion sent bits of it onto the riverbank, ironically causing a fire when it rained later that evening.

>>12145356
Post disfigured cat, please.

>>12145357
I mistyped, the metal they stole was sodium.

>>12145361
I don't have a pic unfortunately. Pic related is the closest example I could find. Similar burns.

>>12145357
>sodium idiocy
We had something similar happen in high school. We were doing something with sodium in chemistry class, and it was stored in containers of mineral oil. One kid decided to steal some for private use, and slipped it into his pocket. Not long after, his pants started smoking. He screamed, managed to get the sodium out of his pocket and into a sink, where he instinctively tried to flush it down with water. The plumbing took it like a champ and survived, and it was pretty cool to see the drain erupting like a volcano for a while. No serious consequences for the kid other than no longer being allowed to handle anything even remotely dangerous.

When I was about 2, my mother boiled water for something and turned away, giving me enough time to go, "What's this?" and pour it on myself. I was apparently wearing a synthetic material shirt because it melted to my skin. 26 years later the only scar I really have is some faint discoloration and texturing on my left bicep, but my mother always tells me I had a scar in the shape of Florida on my chest that I've never seen.

>>12145419
Holy crap, you're literally Florida Man.

>>12141007
cut my thumb while peeling apples
i got an apple peeler and corer after
i bandaged it up and drove to the ER, had stitches for several weeks
other than that, my cat walked onto the stove while it was cooling down, that was frightening

>>12141517
I know you’re going to win a Darwin Award someday, so congrats in advance

When my grandpa was a child his brother tripped with a spoon in his mouth and died.
He is keen to remind us to never run while having anything in our mouths.

>>12145741
My grandpa died when he was a child

>>12145802
Based baby pimp grandpa.

>>12141517
I want to call you retarded, but just god speed to you anon

>>12145356
fuck man that sucks

>>12141517
This is like Stupid Final Destination.

>>12145398
We had a kid break into the chemistry supply closet and steal some potassium and flush it down a toilet.

They charged him with domestic terrorism, since this was like 2006

>>12146476
Kek. I remember when kids were getting expelled for having pocket knives and small crap like that on them.

>>12141517
>using a knife to stir boiling water
holy fuck this can't be real

>>12142395
*twine
cleave your hand in twine

>>12145165
why the fuck were you flipping pancakes without a shirt on and how did it stick to your stomach lmao

>>12145419
>>12145542
Florida man origin story, let's go people

>>12141389
Had something like this happen when I was 4
>Dad used to touch the pancake griddle really quickly with the tip of his finger while it was heating up to see if it was getting close to temp
>Me being stupid as fuck and wanting to emulate him
>Wait until griddle is fully heated then push entire palm onto griddle
>Blisters everywhere

>>12142595

>>12146476
only in america

>>12141579
If she didn't leave you over it I think you're good, anon.

>>12145152
That's good advice. I hope that you provide that advice to your child some day, instead of burning him.

>>12141517
SOMEONE PUT LOCKS ON THIS MAN'S FUCKING KITCHEN

>brother and I caught some walleye and put them in the live well and bucket to take home
>live nearby so they were still alive
>tell brother to kill them and start flaying them while I got the grill prepared
>minute later he is screaming bloody fucking murder and inventing new swear words
>go inside
>blood
>blood fucking everywhere
>on the floor on the counter and just fucking PISSING out of the top of his head
>WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!
>genius here had opened the cabinet above him to fetch the flaying knife with the fish under him
>he was about to kill them when he got the idea to pose then face to face for a kiss shot to send to his wife
>just as he was leaning in fish fucking flipped and scared the shit out of him so he snapped his head up directly into the corner of the open cabinet with the full force his body could muster

18 stiches and we can still see where the hair isn't growing. I still love giving him shit over it.

>>12147017
He deserves it for hurting an animal. Should have happened to you to.

>>12147047
fish aren't animals retard, they're cold-blooded

>>12147017
that's hilarious. I thought you were going to say he got stabbed in the face with one of those spiky things catfish have

>bake something in the oven in a stainless steel pan
>take thing out of pan
>do something for a second
>what is this pan doing here, grab it to put it away
>something isn't right but don't know what yet
>pan feels unusually cold
>no, that's not cold, it's hot
Just gave me blisters, I was lucky really.
Don't do drugs kids

>>12147047
>He deserves it for hurting an animal.
He posed them facing each other instead of side by side. I hardly call that hurting an animal. Now the knife he was going to use to sever their spines was going to hurt but likely a hell of a lot less then being flayed alive.

>Should have happened to you to.
Eat my asshole faggot. They are fish. I hunted them. I was fixing to prepare and eat them to feed myself and my family. Go much on some more crab grass you lilly fuck.

dipshit i was working next to on line knocked a freshly sharpened serrated knife off the shelf and it landed on my hand
fucking severed the tendon in my thumb and fucked up the nerves
lost most of the feeling on the palm side, have a big lump of scar tissue that limits my range of motion and it just generally hurts when i use it

>>12147305
pic related

>>12141007
Worst that's ever happened to me
Lifted the lid of a boiling pot towards my face while looking straight into it and the steam that escaped burned the inside of my nostrils.

Worst that I ever witnessed
Someone put a piece of not fully thawed fish into a pan of hot oil without wearing a shirt.

>>12147305
why was the knife on a shelf you stooge

>>12147404
tiny kitchen, and they're meant to be on a magnet strip thats strong enough to prevent any accidental movement, but dipshit didnt have it on the strip like a fucking jackass

I unironically cut myself a week ago trying to de-pit an avocado. My hand is okay but my intelligence is unsalvageable.

>>12141517
Based Retard

>>12146778
clearly, it wanted revenge.

>>12141007
Cut half way through my thumb once. Thankfully my mail slowed the blade so I didn't lose the tip.

Dont cook angry

>>12141359
Ops pic is faked or the dude was dumb as fuck.

That said, avacado oots mean little against a sharp knife. I got a new knife from s store last year on whim. Sharpened it on an oil stone. Later that week I went to cut open an avacado and it went through the pit like butter.even left a superficial cut on my hand. I barely even put pressure on the knife.

Crazy part was it was a cheap thai-style chefs knife that cost me maybe $5.

>>12144396
your mom was a fucking idiot. hope she learned her lesson.

also how did you reach the stove?

probably gonna jinx myself but i've never had a bad cooking injury. when i worked at the walmart deli i had horizontal burns up and down my forearms from the rotisserie over. i actually kind of liked them because small burns feel weirdly good to me

>>12147589
>dude

Very clearly a boob in that picture

>>12147047
don't overdose on that soy now

>>12144884
Funniest post in the thread

>making ramen
>didn't measure the water
>bowl is full to the brim
>spill it all over my hand trying to move it to the sink

>cooking bacon shirtless
>grease burn on nipple

>sharpening kitchen knives
>drunk
>wipe down blade on boning knife with a towel
>feel a small pinch
>turns out it's not so small
>three stitches (not sure I needed them but I wasn't making that decision drunk)

ER visits are way funnier drunk than they are the next day when you're sober

>>12141007
Heating some frozen pita bread in the oven as a kid
It got stuck on the grill and retard me tries to forcefully pull it loose while it's still in the oven and burned my hand on the oven's ceiling

>>12144884
>>chase cat around house while screaming for a half hour
Now THAT's a story.

>>12141389
based boomer

>>12146850
she can’t see the fucking door.

>>12141579
How does new gf food taste?

>>12144358
Bone wounds are really dangerous anon, I hope you flushed your cut out well.

>>12144524
No but I wasn't a latchkey kid either

>>12144592
You should get revenge by posting your tits here

>>12141517
who are you quoting?

>inna pit
>Dish warshin
>Slow day so also peeling potatos and precooking the bacon
>Go to clean my knife and resharpen since the potatos aint peeling right
>Put down the knife since the poaching pot needed cleaning
>As I turn my apron catches the handle of the knife
>Spins, falls, sinks itself almost an inch in my calf
>Yank it out, blood everywhere but Im not limping so uncle makes me finish out my shift
>Looking at the scar a year later I missed some important tendons by an inch or two
Not the worst Ive seen but its the worst that happened to me because of me. Worst I seen was my cousin almost cutting his thumb off, worst that happened was my babysitter burning my chest with a frying pan

>>12145295
>>12146778
You guys don't coat your naked bodies in maple syrup and build a suit of pancake armor for breakfast every morning?

>>12147701
Got him

>>12146788
kek

>>12149033

Yah, what are they, gay?

One time when I was working at Chick-Fil-A I was cleaning out grease traps with another dude. Grease splashed in his eye and his whole face swelled up. He couldn't even put on his glasses anymore. Fortunately he recovered.

>>12141517
>using knife to stir boiling water

NIGGER WHY

>>12141579
Bet she didn't see that coming

>>12141579
>>12145165
Either I cook things way to cool or my skin is hardcore. I had several oil splash-accidents but it only ever hurt for a few seconds and left no mark.

>>12141517
reading this filled me with a sense of euphoria at realizing that I could have been born as retarded as you

>>12148276
>>>/jp/
go back

>>12142621
knife is faster and wastes less avocado ime

>>12141579
So leave your blind gf alone. You sound pretty selfish to me tbqfhf.

>>12141517
HOW ARE YOU CAPABLE OF BREATHING UNASSISTED

>>12147017
based fish strikes back
his final hurrah, permanently scarring his assailant

my dad worked at a restaurant called the spaghetti company when he was young. he picked up a dry noodle, pretended it was a sword and challenged his coworker to a duel. the other guy picked up a knife and accidentally did >>12147318 to him

>>12141007
>me
>1986
>5 years old
>helping my mom cook tacos (really just getting in her way but I'm learning shit and behaving so it's ok)
>standing on a chair in front of stove/range
>mom removes pan with browned hamburger off stove
>turns range off
>range was electric with the coils
>coils are white
>mom tells me not to touch because they're hot
>think "but when they're glowing orange is when they're hot"
>disregard mom's advise and place hand directly on electric coil
>TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>pushing away from it I happen to place hand on it a second time
>TSSSSSS
>scream
>dinner ruined
>trip to the hospital
>they hook me up with some burn creams and shit
>shit healed completely besides one half inch scar

>>12141007
chopped part of my finger off while cutting veggies or some shit, it didnt hit the bone and was a while ago, just had to clean it out and cover it for a month or so, healed back fine