/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11980580
it bothers me beyond belief that he is touching those filthy fucking buttons with the same fingers he is going to use to handle his pizza
the appearance of the pizza and the way he handles it are bad enough
but that is just fucking vile behavior

>>11980580
Looks like shit

>>11980580
>Hydrate level 4, please.

>>11980605
literal poo in a cup

>>11981097
im doing these tomorrow. guarantee they're fucking great

>>11981097
I think my daughter would enjoy these. I've got her next weekend, so we'll soon find out.

>>11981139
>boiled tomatoes

>>11981166
But free during the week?

>>11981191

>>11981194
If I cook like her will I too get an ass like her's?

>>11981211

You have to have multiple black baby daddies to cook and look like that.

>>11981233
Idiots. They don't look like fries and they're not fried.

>>11981194
she didn't even mix up the beef or bother to properly shape it at all lol wtf

>>11981074
Do you wash your hands after using ATMs, anon?

>>11981312
Now THIS is real Chinese cooking.

>>11981251
nice burnt pizza

>>11981097
Oh hell yeah

>>11981236
This is fucking cursed on so many levels

>>11981331
2019 Year Of The pig

>>11981314
i dont use them, but absolutely i would
gas stations are the big one. self-checkouts are another. i use my knuckles on these
surely we have seen the fecal matter study on those mcdonalds kiosks
if you're touching anything like this with your fingertips and not immediately sanitizing, you are absolutely fucking crazy

>>11981331
No it isn't, you clearly haven't seen the one autistic freak that I keep spamming in every webm thread: >>11981122 >>11981131 >>11981139 >>11981371. Care to upvote these my fellow redditor?

>>11981400
Not the same Channel.

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1551372086988.webm

>>11981074
>americans
About right

>>11981177
heh

>>11981380
You're compromising your immune system by not exposing it to enough germs.

>>11981384
those carrots are gorgeous. what a beautiful pickle. i would marry her just for that. that and anal of course

>>11981768
i get more than enough at the gym, which regularly runs promotions that bring in types of people you might imagine
and they touch the equipment
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2018/11/29/no-mcdonalds-touch-screens-are-not-contaminated-with-poop/?utm_term=.7e43eacd8e7f
here's the link for that dumbfuck above. it was in london. granted, that's probably even worse. but why risk it?

>>11981703
DIY Edition.
WebM for bakas/SaveFrom

>>11981110
I'm fucking nutting

>>11981801
>marrying a woman with a pickle

>>11981400
Oh, this is just sad.

I'm gonna do it.

>>11982682

>>11982595
gross

>>11982682
no don't

>>11981097
These actually seem decent. It's definitely not pizza like the filename claims, but it's a solid vegetable dish.

>>11981191
If he were more sensible, tomato paste would work better.

>>11981813
It sounds worse than it is. Trace fecal bacteria is pretty much everywhere and doesn't cause problems. It's probably on your toothbrush. It definitely is if you flush the toilet with the lid open.

>>11982807
>flush the toilet with the lid open.

So, I'm fucked?

>>11982807
100% correct. I remember most of my university microbiology class.

>>11982773

>>11981194

>>11981108
fruit

>>11982807
yes but first of all i doubt it, because my toothbrush is nowhere near and around a corner
and there's a big difference to me between eating traces of my own turds and traces of the turds of the average stranger who goes to eat at mcdonalds. gigantic difference, in fact
i would sooner eat a full dump that i've produced than a molecule of a dump of a stranger

>definitely not pizza

>>11982890

>>11981110
that looks like table salt.

>>11982700
what the fuck

>>11982955
It not being pizza doesn't mean it's automatically bad.

>>11981236
I'm sure this tastes fine, but at what point does it even resemble carbonara?

>>11983119
god i hate women

>>11983119
if you look closely all the products on the shelves are paper cutouts

>>11982700
>tfw you notice the lack of hand coordination before you notice the ring

>>11982526
There's a reason I didn't webm it. /ck/'s numods don't like anything titillating.

>>11983041
FYI, this works great if you use it with parchment paper to keep cakes from sticking to round cake pans.

>>11983239
Isn't that the main thing people use it for? Hence it being called baking paper?

>>11981110
This is the first steak-based webm that hasn't caused me immense rage. 2 mins seems a little long for how thin that cut is but this is a lot better than some of the other atrocities posted here.

>>11983119

is this comedy?

>>11983474
No, she's giving a TED talk about her first cock.

>>11981177
But....
how...
So many baby chickens...
He has to go home some time....
How...
Does he have a family...

>>11983269
How's this?

>>11981233
When memes meet

>>11981233
I love how EVERY avocado video has to show how to remove the pit like they think they're so fucking clever for knowing it. And yes, we have all seen the photos of that retarded cunt who put a knife through her hand. Still, though.

>>11981314
I wash mine between using an ATM and handling food. Because I wash my hands before handling food every time.
I'm not extremely germophobic, I just think it's a good and easy habit. Plus I work in an ICU and the folks we get there are so weak you can't even give them tap water. It's all sterilised.

>>11981201
What is she adding at 0:35?

>>11981097
I hope they did something with the zucchini innards

>>11980605
these need to be banned

>>11983714
rock sugar

4cc winter cup final day
/ck/ vs /gd/ quarterfinal (and hopefully more after that)
Estimated kickoff 18:20 brittime

Get in chefs
This is our year

>>11984289
Where can I find a picture of all /ck/ players?

>>11984349
I don't have an up to date one sadly
Only this very outdated one

>>11984289
Those designs make me laugh. Who was the creator?

>>11984365
Betrigtor aka. Dragonfag made the models aswell as our stadium
I make the tactics for the team

>>11981312
I fucking love egg rolls

>>11980557
Lovely lovely Steaky Wakes.

It's /ck/'s year baybee. Clutch your himalayan salt and pray.

>>11981177
?eggs the all breaking without out get he does How

>>11981177
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

>>11984450
'Badtouched' lately?

>>11982807
>It's probably on your toothbrush. It definitely is if you flush the toilet with the lid open.
Wait are there people out there that seriously don't stick their toothbrush in their mouth before they flush to prevent this? What the fuck is wrong with you people?

>>11984495
The flush of the toilet only propels the particulate. It remains suspended for a little while after too so you're essentially sampling your own shit when you do that.

>>11984361
>peta with a gun
kek

>>11981813
When you smell poo, you're actually tasting and inhaling literal poo, not just trace bacteria.
Even bad fart smell is poo in the air.

>>11983130
Wtf man I am surprised I missed that. It does make the video interesting at least.

>Fucking vegans and shitty ugly youtube e celebs who can't fucking cook for shit in charge of defense

>>11981177
where is he from I need to see an egg fort irl

>>11981226
>2 tbsp vegetable oil
>or rub the pan on your head

>>11981243
Is this China Food Travel? Her videos showing the slow decline of Maoism are very relaxing.

>>11982522
>all that cheese
Ugh. Do Americans really even?

>>11983128
They hate u too

>>11983269

>>11984983
Who were you trying to troll with this?

>>11985851
I was falling on my sword, so that no one would make a subtler bait and actually garner (You)s.

>>11985898
Things are gonna be just fine man, you did your best.

>>11983216
>reaction faces feom ToG
What terrible taste.

>>11984968
Daisy Duke, of China.

>>11986035
>avocado
>banana
>honey

>>11982953
Flushing the crapper with it open basically spews up an aerosolized mist of whatever was in it that floats around and touches every part of your bathroom. Your toothbrush has shit particles on it.

Further if you've ever smelled anybody elses fart, ever, youve ingested their shit particles.

>>11982955
Its still not a pizza. If i take all the fixings of my deli sandwich and stick it in a tortilla its not still a goddamn sandwich.

>>11981312
where is this from thanks

>>11986074
Open faced sandwich

>>11984289
I appreciate that this still goes on after all these years

>>11983128
feel you brother

>>11984460
What's this from?

>>11986088
I'll beat you to death with your cat i swear to god

>>11981236
You know that feeling you get when your browsing the /gif/ catalog looking for sweet, sweet tiddies and funny videos, but then you see the thumbnail for the thread dedicated to farts and scat porn?

This gives me that same feeling.

>>11986389
Do Americans?

>>11986208
Chuckled at first but the farther I got in the worse I felt.

>>11986524

>>11986536
Someone please HELP HER!

>>11986483
The blackest hands they could find

>>11983687
Glad you could make it, Uther.

>>11983223
What are you talking about?

>>11981194
god damn

>>11986389
>pickle peanut butter
i unironically do this

>>11986035
>>11986065
why do avocado's on toast have to be a hype food, is nothing sacred? I like avocado, and I like avocado on toast even more, but this kind of stuff associates me with degenerates every time I eat it

>>11986389
a chocolate stout with vanilla ice cream could actually be pretty good

>>11986106
Kim's Convenience

>>11981236
>1 garlic
you wont even taste it....

>>11981194
WHO

>>11986208
this is not funny
making fucking funny of a real illness is sick
I hope this bitch gets torettes for real and then she wont be laughing then fucking piss!

>>11984389
so thats hoe he gets out without breaking all the eggs

>>11983138
love this movie

>>11988376
Then he was date raped.

>>11988376
Get out of the way, you fucking cunt. We're trying to look at the much hotter girl who has an actual talent!

>>11983138
Was this made before or after Falling Down?
I guess it's not that original an idea that anybody should call it theft anyway.

>>11987530
Have you lost your MIND, Arthas?

>>11984289
kek holy shit that egg fort

>>11983721
They use those for vegan haggis

>>11984460
He's not wrong, though.

>>11988376
That's some perfect comic timing, but I want to believe it's not staged.

>>11988541
comic pinc ponc

>>11988376
>that abnormal posturing

>>11988556
What's his name?

>>11988559
Emma Roberts. But don't bother; there's no dick.

>>11985947
wtf is this

>>11981110
>uses pepper and herbs on it before browning so they burn

>>11988563
What a waste

>>11980557
what's this from

>>11985774
I can't eat fried bananas because it makes my head dizzy for some reason

someone ja/ck/ me please

>>11988794

>>11986193
Od guy for doling that. He could have gotten impaired real bad

>>11988828
>impaired
like your writing skills

>>11988835
heh you fell for bait
I was only pretending to be retarded
u mad
trolololololol

>>11988828
Wow what the fuck.
*Good guy for *doing that. He could have gotten *impailed real bad.
Jesus.

>>11980580
That pizza looks fucking disgusting.

>>11984289
Speaking of the /ck/ challenge
>>11988786

>>11981194
>all these zoomers obsessing over ass
if youre an ass man, you are a half-way homo with low T levels. Youd probably fuck a fat dude in a skirt if he shaved his ass. Tiddy men are based and redpilled.

>>11988875
breasted and titpilled

have a blessed day brother

>>11988884
so close
but you can have these

JUST

>>11988887
>>11988889

ja/ck/ cant even get a sequential digit hit
pathetic

truly nothing compares to the ja/ck/

>>11988855

>>11988650
Oh no! baby wanna lay down?

>>11988900
Well it reads it "should" be cooked on a saucepan.

>>11988908
That cheddar was sharper than the knife! LMAO

>>11988855
WHAT THE FUCK?
You're still supposed to cook it, you fat fuck. Goddamn.
I think this is the most infuriating thing I've seen him do yet.

>>11988495
Falling Down came out in 94, and Battle Royale came out in 2000

>>11988941
>console
it's 2x as horrible

>>11988908
why put holes on the knife? is it for extra-speed?

>>11984495
>he doesn't keep his toothbrush in a case to prevent dust and toilet particulates from getting on it
shiggy diggy

>>11983474
>>>11983119
>
>is this comedy?
No, it's on the CW

>>11980580

>>11989011
Pizza maker sex robots when

>>11989090
You can stick your dick in there any time you like Anon.

>>11989106
Back in the old days, guys would be excited waiting for her to pass out.

>>11983119
My name Jeeff~

>>11989106
200iq

>>11988600
A great old Movie.
A Clockwork Orange

>>11988933

>>11986084


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR0Zt9C1qC2CKNfBA2VUvaw

>>11988904
Are you his boyfriend? Faggot

>>11988875
Guilty as charged

>>11986300
checked and agreed

>>11984361
Is that a toast sandwich in the bottom right?

>>11981194

>>11989931
You meant the one with the words "toast sandwich" behind it? Dunno.

>>11982842
Man I wish a was a cute japanese girl so I could do this

This thread was gold until the jack posters

He needs to stick to prepackaged, non modifiable food

>>11985947
So those were prostitutes I guess.

>>11981194
>disproportionately sized ass

>>11984361
>tfw no Mestre da Pizza on /ck/ team

>>11988941
Looks like fun.

>>11986232
Neat

>>11987463
I work with like 3 people that are blacker than that its not super rare

>>11988007
Goddamn that looks good

>>11988521
Damn thats spooky

>>11988781
How did he fuck this up?
I thought these magic bullet things where idiotproof

>>11988907
He likes it extra raw

>>11988979
I think its so things don't stick to it as easily
That or just for the look

>>11988933
cute

>>11989101
pffft fuckin moron

>>11981097
This but with aubergines

>>11988870
How the fuck does she do it? Is it because the batter on her hands is cold?

>>11988847
This webm made me protectively tuck in my fingers.

>>11988855
>This should be done in a saucepan on a stove
THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING JACK?

>>11989080
how can one man be this stupid?

>>11988855
>when slurry is the bulk of the volume
I forgot about this one so had a hearty laugh to see it again.

>>11981097

The lack of fat from the chorizos and water from the tomatoes makes me a little suspicous. Looks ok though.

>>11981122
did dis nigga just fucking cook a dead crab he got in the fucking mail?

>>11989082
Why do that?

>>11983223

Are you refering to the repulsive woman or the repugnant crossfit bro?

>>11983738
>instant mash is bad

>>11984460
As a homosexual, this webm just made me find the show on netflix

>>11989740
Thats the worst dosa ive ever seen. It should be more the thickness of crepe, not pancake.

>>11981236
>Avocado carbonara

And yet still not vegetarian or vegan. They just added an avocado to a carbonara. Point?

>>11991530
>pretty young girl making dosa
this is why

>>11988844
Impaled. Only one i.

>>11988839
Sugar on coco puffs? How desperate for diabetes can one man get?

>>11991608
You're supposed to capitalize "I," actually.

>>11988861

He's too cheap to get proper latex/nitrile gloves? That looks like the free gloves you get a petrol stations.

>>11990787

Leidenfrost effect maybe?

>>11991620

But then it looks like l and would properly confuse the cunt.

>>11988941
>plain cheese and pepperoni pizzas
why are white people so boring?

>>11986232
So what does Europe use in their reformed meat products?

>>11991643
>white people

It's a redditor, Brie. What did you expect?

>>11988556
Goddamn she reminds me so much of someone who crushed my heart. Now I'm the one drinking.

>>11988855
>roux with water
no this is wrong
this is all wrong

>>11988556
Damn it. I always get back on the bottle when I see this. She makes it look too irresistibly cool to give up.

>>11988847
>how_to_grievously_injure_yourself.webm

>>11991770
It's not worth it anon

>>11990314

>>11988855
>>11991762
Shit isn't funny. I have weapons if you want one.

>>11988875
>tits
>not face

enjoy your mongoliod children ass and tit fags

>>11992040
at least he'll have children

OP
WebM for bakas+SaveFrom+Google
File size 3.1 MB, 640x360, might have to go over 120 sec by a few seconds, to get a full 2min. If you crop don't enter dimensions, but up your size limit.
Have fun
ALSO
What kind of grill Is This?

>>11991604
this is cool and all watching on the internet, but after seeing those clips of people getting burned alive at asian restaurants i would never go to a place like that myself

>>11992182

>>11985947
Dude I would have known what they were walking into in a micro-fraction of the time it took them to realize. they had to have known, they're not that naive.

>>11992246
Get your channel comments disabled, cause your dumb enough to film your wife and toddler into a Japanese porno shop.

>>11992276
Oh really? Guess he wasn't completely honest with everyone.

>>11988781
how the fuck is this even possible, is just a simple thing to do and he fucks it up

>>11992290
IT'S BACK!
They left China, and were shitting on the country,some 50 center found the vid of them in Japan.
@7:05 Tenga
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v2dwInCDGY

>>11988941
imagine the diarrhea

>>11992337
having sex with that man is gonna be full of surprise

>>11992402
>unzips ice cream scoop
heh, nothing personal kiddo

>>11980557
why the fuck is he chewing like that?

>>11992276
god, women are really fucking stupid

>>11992433
how is he supposed to be chewing?

>>11992490
like a normal person. ignoring the fact he's chewing with his mouth open he's lowering his jaw all the way down for a piece of food that isn't even big.

>>11991633
Maybe. It's probably a combination of calloused hands and a cover of batter. She's also dipping her fingers very briefly.

>>11981097
I hate it when people edit shit to make it look like a magic trick. Yeah neat, but a little cringe and wanky.

>>11992402
>10 INCH COCK

>>11992496
He's not a normal person. He's a manic psychopath.

>>11991610
Oh, you know Ja/ck/...

>>11988287
but she does actually have tourettes...

>>11991530
It is the thickness of a crepe, you mongoloid.

>>11985947
nigga wut

>>11986483
gross. nog hands freak me out

>>11988855
also checked

>>11992206
How you like your wife, sir?

mmm med rare please.