/ck/ - Food & Cooking

How does he get out?

>>11838418
>Fat SOB has infinitely more subscribers than OP
>Fat SOB is doing what she likes and getting paid for it
>OP

>>11838452

>>11838450

>>11838452
Thank you

>>11838577
even you know your stupid for joining the army

>>11838528
I love china

>>11838590
It's mandatory. Russia still has a draft in place.

>>11838528
What's wrong with these insectoids?

>>11838598
Based

>>11838418

>>11838672

>>11838648
>nice meat
>boil it and blend it so it looks like mutt tier fastfood sludge

>>11838432
>taps the battleaxe

>>11838680
>americans invented ground meat

>>11838452
Thanks doc!

>>11838418
I'm honestly surprised she is still alive

>>11838952
God, imagine a perfect world, where we'd never have to talk to or see anybody else.

>>11838528

>>11838648
do they not have ground beef in Russia? wtf

>>11838648
>boiled meat
She's British right?

>>11838952
holy shit, could you imagine paying 12$ for this piece of shit?

>>11839041
Yes

>>11838648
The beef from the blender looks nothing like what she adds to the noodles, though.

>>11838418
Nothing wrong with any of that, it's just too much.
Portion control goes a long way.

>>11839049
i made somrthing like this for a dinner party, thetheme was try something new, so i made lamb fry curry and when i agave the dish to the host it ended up set out with no lable...i retrieved the dish at the end and it was all gine...so a buch of church ladies ate a lot of testicle curry

>>11838452
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

>>11838538
And they say vegans are skinny

Look at those little sausages go

>>11838863
Everything this guy makes looks comfy

>>11838528
He beat the shit out of those women. China really is an awful awful shithole.

>>11838475
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>11838577
Plaster is good for bone density

>>11838452
how does egg?

>>11838452

>>11838657
this is unironically the most fun part about fishing

>>11838708
Nice system. Also nice legs on the grill

>>11838657
How can you deal with fish in that situation more than once and not know to hit them on top of the head?
>Whack on head
>stab chest between fins
And you're done.

>>11838456
W H O L E S O M E

>>11838528
Who went pee pee in his coke?

>>11840032
you do realise that the only thing that fuels these posts is you idiots replying, right?

>>11838708
God DAMN, those are some beautiful humans! I want to carry their babbys.

I'm a man.

>>11838689
I wanted those spics to feel the wrath of the quills

>>11840491
Those are vietcong retard

>>11840470
You're acting like the surly king of the egg fort isn't the king of /ck/ and very popular at that!

>>11840449
>>11840487
I honestly hope she dies from being fat and subhuman ASAP.

>>11840491
>s-word
Reported!!

>>11840503
Same thing genetically

>>11840692
Look how under-ripe they are when they pick them. No wonder store bought tomatoes are so flavourless.

>>11838689

>>11840778
Lmao wtf

>>11840657
>giant chunks of carrot
Meh

>>11840692
>>11838708
I was in Australia recently on a work-holiday visa and almost got suckered into doing this. It's all British, French and German backpackers doing shitty farm labour jobs along with illegal Asians. Working in 40 degree heat for below minimum wage salaries.

>>11838659
Shit man, so much work for so little product. The texture is godly though.

>>11840692

> What is premature aging?

That gurl is sunburn as hell. She'll look 50 when she's 40.

>>11840120
Woman always right! Man are always evil!

>>11840563
>the king of /ck/
No, he's the king of the egg fort. Get it right.

>>11841093
Man's not hot

>>11840657
Neither. Would be just as fast to just rinse normally and slice normally

>>11838528
what the heck? context?

>>11838538
>>11840103
>vegan
>fat hands

>>11838538
How are you gonna be vegan and still have fucking chins on your hands?

>>11838952
i can't believe i'm posting this, but i'd rather eat a $5 hot n ready

>>11838422
HOW?!

>>11838422
I don't get it, what there is worth filming?

>>11840657
I'm glad they show the fork picking up the food at the end, I wouldn't really know how to eat it if not for that

>>11839022
we can't have nice things.

>>11838452
What kind of chicken laid the bread for the sandwich?

>>11838528
>Battle Royal 2

>>11838456
>Ben Shapiro DESTROYS Pizza Dough With Facts and LOGIC

>>11840692
>>11840692
>Complain about 7 dollars in america
>Go to fucking Spider Island and work in the fields for 2 cent

>>11838452
why do jeets always stare the cook down when they're eating?

>>11838903

>>11838456
steezy

>>11842232

>>11838528
Holy fuck whats the story

>>11843349
Morning glory?

>>11840032
Wow, why are you so mad about this?

>>11838608
>>11841687
>>11843349
It's China. This is normal behavior there.

>>11843310
imagine the smell

>>11840022
nothing wrong with testicle eatin
usually it's bull though

>>11840571
obviously she's gonna die soon you sperg
not sure why you would wish that on her just because she makes cooking videos on youtube.

>>11838466
Good ideas terribly executed.

>>11843742
Kekked, checked and smellpilled.

>>11838475
Whats up with that hair?

>>11838538
>pudgy vegan hands

>>11838676
Looks good. I'd make sandwiches with that.

>>11838422
never realized you can use a spoon for that

>>11843349
it's china

>>11838689
at least they killed it first unlike the chinese

>>11843823
who the fuck did these subtitles

>>11843294
haha could you imagine fucking the farm animals haha. Im just joking tho, thats gross haha

Neapolitans with envy

>>11838452

how out fortress egg break no?

>>11838626
Why does it have to hang? Is there something special about it not touching the floor or something?

>>11840449
Is someone going to tell me how on earth dill could be considered kosher?

>>11843943
Is this helmet turtle? Saw big tower built but no wall on upper. Then rain, and tower fall

>>11843823
>in all ways except physical, i am a potato
>[blights]

>>11838626
This is unironically kinda cool

>>11838422
Why are some eggs white and some brown?

>>11840470
all the replies were me the whole time

>>11843823
I don't know if that is what he is actually saying, but imagine if he keeps a large jar with a potato inside. This potato is submerged in his semen.

>>11844189
diversity, mate

>>11844268
Oh God this stupid fucking point people try to make.

>>11838452
But how does he get in?

>>11838456
based t*rk

>>11844319
Nice ad

>>11843950
Not having space or a garden.

>>11844333
Thanks, do subscribe for more.

>>11840778
They are going to take its bowels and entrails out at some point, right ?

>>11838528
whos in the wrong here?
-the man fucking up a weak defenseless woman
or
-the woman who failed to run and take cover behind a superior man and instead waited for mr.gookboy to step in with zero effort

>>11838984
>oh noes those poor doggo puppers
like this is any different from pork or beef

>>11843826
looks sad

>>11838466

>>11838626
This is neat until your cat or large dog inevitably destroys the fuck out of it.

>>11844490
Good Point.

>>11838626
This is the most basic DIY I've ever seen.

>>11838995
At least they are not fried.. I guess?

>>11845256
Dat ass. Dem tits. Dem legs.

>>11838952
>Would you like your pizza hot?
Concerning...

>>11843349
Chinese people

>>11844313
You're doing the same fucking prep work to do this microwave mug omelette as with a regular one, and an omelette like that takes absolutely no effort to cook on a pan, so why?
Why?

>>11845695
Too lazy to clean a pan, or they're somewhere with no access to a stove, but they have a microwave, a magic bullet, and a powerful need for an omelette right fucking now.

>>11845695
These sorts of things are designed for office-dwellers. You can do the prep at home and just bring all the ingredients to work if for some reason you want to eat an omelette for lunch.

>>11838528
This is what happens when a restaurant runs out of rice in China.

>>11844268
Is that black egg also responsible for 50% of the crime while only being 13% of the carton?

>>11838626
>cramped pots
>stacked
>T5 bulb lit at best and CFL at the worst
>poor drainage

Enjoy your stagnant swampy fungus gnat den

>>11838452
Nice, never seen this one before.

>>11838452

>>11838418
I like Sara over Jack.

>>11845656
Jesus, I knew two bombs were mistakes...one should've been dropped in China

Anyone can help me our with that Texas BBQ webm that's usually pretty ubiquitous?

>>11842402
Fuck I raffed

>>11842431
AND THEY STILL CANT FEED EVERY ONE OH NO

>>11843417
and for desert

>>11838475
My wife showed me the candy corn/peanut mix last Halloween. It really does taste just like a payday candy bar.

>>11848496

>>11841093
Yes it is wrong to beat the shit out of someone physically weaker than you.

>>11848561
>implying it's okay to beat the shit out of someone physically stronger than you
fuck off, fag

>>11840908
She's not Australian. The only Australians who do those jobs are retired people on driving tours. She's on a working holiday, and will return to a less sunburnt country in a year.

>>11841687
Somebody suggested Chairman Mao might have represented a darker period of their history than is generally accepted.

>>11844268
But some people is sociopaths and some people is autistic and some people were raised to respect authority and some people were raised to be anarchic individualists

>>11844268
Is it just me or did the black egg seem runnier?

>>11839046
Fucking disgusting... d-do British people really do t-this?!

>>11844416
>it's her fault for getting beat up
t. Nice Guy™

>>11838626
>I wasted my disposable income on toys at Home Depot: the WebM

>>11848797
Yes. It's healthier and more nutritious than a Big Mac, so just think about that for a while.

>>11838626
Who the fuck needs instructions for putting holes in a few pieces of wood and hanging them up by rope? This is like the sloppy joe webm and I'm a little angry about it.

>>11848866
me on the right

>>11848866
holy shit

>>11848944
Does he make an actual profit doing this? The rate of production makes it seem unlikely, but why would you do it as a hobby?

If you don't feed them after the7th catch. They stop going for fish...

>>11848889

>>11848847

>>11840657
>Apples and strawberries are already cut
>Put em in this stupid thing and cut them instead of just finishing what you started

>>11849120
Whats going on there then?

>>11849149
Muh Fingers can stand the hot oil.

>>11849123
eat this shit and fart all night

>>11840877
Same, but I actually went, and it was pineapples instead. Couldn't be even a foot away from the conveyor belt otherwise you would be permanently behind. Had to cut the tops of the pineapples before putting them on the belt so it added another layer of horse shit to it.

>>11844268
Guys, just remember. We're all pink inside, ok? Race is only skin deep :)

>>11847107
Based on what I've seen this fat pig seems to be a better cook than Jack.

My only question is what does Simply Sara's ass taste/smell like?

>>11848633
There is a subset of white people who just really like to look tanned and have a disregard for safety when it comes to their skin. If she isn't wearing any sort of protection while doing labor out in the open, I just assume she's one of them browned crackers.

>>11844389
I know, right?

>>11849102
I have a problem with this one. It's backwards: you want to get your aromatics and sauces working and transformed prior to the addition of the meat, so that the meat can soak up the most complex aromatics and sauces that can be produced.

I think a much more sane approach would be: heat some oil, sweat the onions, add the garlic, add the ketchup, almost let it kind of get crazy and where you're worried about it burning, then right before SHTF add the mustard, toast it until you're about to have a panic attack, THEN add the beef, and let it soak up that complexity. Also the grind on that beef is suspect, it should be chunkier. There are a lot of things that don't add up here, but I will say that I would eat one if offered.

>>11840474
Congratulations, you have a fetish. Good for you

>>11839046
£3! Theivin bastards

>>11843898

>>11843398
You need a little time to wake up wake up?

>>11840103
who says this
i know so many fat vegans in real life
>>11841866
>>11841920
>>11843791
u guys are dumb af

>>11838475
Jesus fuck, she's huge. How did she not die of a heart attack yet ?

>>11838648
>boil beef
>then blend
My head is spinning, I need to sit down for a minute

>>11848797
Baked beans are great.

>>11844268
>we are all the same on the inside
But that's wrong. Humans species are anatomically different from each other. There's everything from an anatomical to a cellular difference.
Why is this "we are all the same" thing being pushed so much? It's happens so much it's like there's some kind of agenda going in on or something. I feel like I'm going crazy.

>>11848954
That is really fucking cool.

>>11848954
People do this with seagulls

Why is every webm thread dominated by stuff that's supposed to either be disgusting, horrifying, or anger-inducing?

>>11850446
Because that's what gets the precious (You)s.

>>11838659
Who and how the fuck did someone figure this shit was edible?

>>11838532
remove

>>11848950
Even if he makes like $3 a day that's still more than not earning anything. Poverty in India is not a joke, some people literally don't have anything there. If not for temples feeding thousands of people a day there would be mass starvation in the country due to poverty.

>>11838452
HAIL!

>>11838648

>>11850487
If not for temples feeding thousands of people a day.

>>11838952

>>11850487
>>11850636
fug, how did the population get so high there, anyways? It's ironic how people are more inclined to have children when they can't even reliably provide for themselves and vice versa.

>>11850446
For Shits & Giggles.

>>11850669
India is an agriculturally centered country. 50 years ago people mostly lived in small towns and villages doing farming and farming related jobs. People had an average of 5 kids to help with farming. Population boomed. Right now the average childbirth rate is much lower in India as people move to cities and get modern day jobs, but population is still growing cause there's a lot of people still farming...

>>11842431
Mate, Ive done all kinds of picking in all kinds of weather.
its pretty laid back and half the time shit breaks down so you get a breather often. if it gets close to 35c/40c legally you have to stop. if theres a hint of rain you stop.
You meet awesome folks and you earn that fucking beer at the end of the day.
Pay varies. sometimes its by the hour and some times they pay by the bucket or the crate...whatever.
Its the fucking humidity that gets you. Up in Queensland that shit makes it hard to fucking breathe.

>>11850702

>>11844171
Motherfuck you, anon. lost

>>11849263
How was your experience? I know so many people who got fucked over by the farmers.

>>11850794
wtf am i looking at

>>11845315

>>11845315
I just wanted to talk about food man this shit is too heavy

>>11850991

>>11850866
Brother from another Mother.

>>11851021
Why do they all look like the same 3 people tho?

anyone got that terrible carbonara webm with that asian looking woman?

>>11838708
this looks like it would be hell on your back

>>11838863
this man is like the Turkish salt guy if he actually had a soul

>>11838903
Why the fuck would you ever eat bats? First off, not that chinks would care, but they're very important in their ecosystems. Besides that, they're probably really gristly with little meat and difficult to catch.

>>11840032
I sincerely hope that this is a pasta and that you didn't take the time out of your day to write this unironically.

>>11847201
Why would you bomb an ally?

>>11848641
Is that a wrestler?

>>11843805
There is no Spoon.

>>11851145
No, but now I want a picture of a shirtless Mao Zedong hitting someone with a folding chair.

>>11851149

>>11851171
That isn't even close and you know it.

>>11851021
I for one am glad someone from /ck/ has finally had their dream come true.

>>11851173

>>11851201

>>11838418
Compared to Jack's corn dogs it looks like haute cuisine desu

>>11838984
chinks should be fucking shot
i don't even like dogs

>>11841920
By eating a shitload of carbs you dumbo

>>11848887
I'm confused. Did he cure some meat outside in the wild like that? How come no animal came to eat it?

>>11850866
Food trays being knocked to take off excess water after washing by someone who's being kinda way too chill to do a good job of it.

>>11851549
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXrZevz9Wo

>>11851596
Thanks anon. Guess he doesn't have foxes or black bears around to be able to cure it like that without protection/supervision.

>>11838863
Actually looks delicious. It could do without all the fucking turmeric on the rice/wheat.

>>11843294
That lack of ass is making me uneasy.

>>11843493
Pure sex.

>>11843561
>all you can eat seafood
>in China
Hello food poisoning

>>11843898
>not showing the part when he outs it into the oven that looks like a furnace used to make bootleg car parts

>>11845256
I want that underage girl to sweeten my churro.

>>11850069
She had one already, IIRC. What I am certain of is that she said she was put into a medically induced coma for some health scare or something. I would guess it's cuz she's a fatty fatty two by four can't get through the kitchen door. Anyway, she hadn't updated her shit for months leading lots of people to the conclusion that she'd died, but then she returned, explained about the coma and resumed her cookery.

>>11843826
God Ukrainian women are beautiful when they have that Asian admixture.

>>11851134
It's an adaptation of a pasta about Baneposting from /tv/ long ago.

>>11844268
The subhuman is the one smashing his eggs on the edge of a pan and getting egg white everywhere

>>11850755
Eh, could use more filters and effects.

>>11852044
>>11852054
What are they trying to achieve in here?

>>11852191
Educational
Celebrational

>>11848887
Japanese almazan kitchen?

>>11852278
That's Chinese, dumbass.

>>11838422
So close to his bare foot. Why is India the only place you ever see people with those obscenely huge face tumors? Not that I'm implying it has anything to do with eating boiled eggs that were near a bare foot or anything.

>>11852319
kek

Last 1

>>11852334
based Sanjay at work

Anyone post butter burger

>>11852490

>>11852476
>how to prepare a salad
state of women ffs

>>11852482
Wonder what their shit looks like...?

>>11850285
No you're just stupid, its a common deficiency.

>>11838716
Apparently they're the only ones any good at using it.

>>11850465
Probably someone cutting firewood noticed that the inside was different than the outside and said 'fuck it' and ate some.

>>11852731
>>"fuck it' and ate some.

>>11851142
Ask Israel

>>11849012
the blurst of times.

>>11838626
>zip ties

Was an overhand knot just too complicated or what?

>>11850698
no woman is worth that.

>>11850723
we

>>11851823

>>11852054
...I mean ...why wouldn't you?