/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11824814

I'm gay btw, if that matters...

Fresh pasta + sauce.
Takes about 1h, you can do it while drunk, does not require skill and it will be edible even if you fuck it up somewhat.

>>11824826

>>11824834
Beat me to it. I'm not a very good cook but I always have second date at my house and make rigatoni bolognese and with freshly grated cheese. It's really hard to fuck up, easy on the stomach, go light on the garlic (if any) in the sauce. I always do a light portion with some red wine, candles, and then I have something small and chocolate for the end.

Don't want a super heavy meal, because the whole end game is to have this turn into fucking before it is time to clean up.

>>11824840
They did that to people accused of very serious crimes, like rape or murder, not homosexuality. There is ZERO proof that was ever used for homosexuality specifically, let alone frequently. This practice is extremely rare, even in the Muslim world and was confined to one known extremist cleric in Iran, afaik.

The idea that somehow anyone caught being gay in a Muslim country is killed is simply a lie pushed by homophobes to justify Christian anti-gay attitudes.

>>11824841
I'm into /pol/ shit, redpilled fucking truths of extreme thought, don't you fucking try to ruin my narratives. I'm proud to be redpilled. Praise fucking Lord Kek

>>11824916
>>11824841
meant to reply to this >>11824903
Got so fucking blinded by my redpilled rage that I couldn't contain myself

>>11824916

>>11824918
#LoveWins

Chicken ginger could work, you basically chop up some chicken, ginger, onion and add stock and leave it to thicken up into a gravy. Serve with stir fried green beans/ broccoli and rice.

/gay cooking/ general

>>11824922
>I'm Nailed Right In

>>11825067
>Implying cooking isn't inherently gay if you are male

>>11825110

>>11824814
CUTE!!! :3

>>11825110
you're already inherently gay so don't worry about it

>>11824834
>drinking alcohol
why do you want to destroy your body anon

>>11824926
Gaymers rise up!

>>11824814
faggot

>>11824814

>>11824926
GAYRUGAMESH!

>>11824814
Homosexuals are gay.

>>11825334
Why is he using a neti pot?

lasagna

>>11825352
And their f**king a**holes lol, but seriously check out this YouTube vids pro at cooking funny stuff https://m.youtube.com/results?search_query=pro+at+cooking+with+dave

>>11824826
>>11824903
>>11824916
>>11824918
>>11824922
>>11824926
>>11825067
>>11825109
>>11825110
>>11825122
>>11825130
>>11825194
>>11825226
>>11825334
>>11825347
>>11825352
>>11825421
>>11825431
Stop derailing my thread you filthy niggers and post some date night ideas

>>11825474
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzNkCFCNetM

That info-graphic reminded me of this guy. He's heterosexual by the way.

>>11825571
What did yo say faggot?

I dare you, I double dare you mother fucker! Say that word again!

>>11824814
It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve you fag

>>11825860
Adam and Steve would be a good name for a porno or even a gay porn studio.

>>11825571

Don't pretend that you didn't purposely derail your own thread, retard.

>>11825571
awwww that's so cute

>>11825886
I know! What a lame attention whore!

happy couples make my heart melt

>>11825928
what if its an adult and a 12 year old kid?

>>11824926
Chris Hemsworth is a tranny, so it would still be straight

>>11825571
>>11825894
>>11825928

For desert, try a no-bake cheesecake. To show off more with practically no effort, make the crust out of crushed Oreos.

>>11825135
no destroying needed. alcohol helps relax the anal sphincter

>>11825949
there is nothing happy about a non consensual relationship

>>11826093
>Implying 12 is too young to consent
kys normie

>>11824814
>>11825571
One person can fillet chicken breast and the other can slice bell peppers and onions.
Lay out bacon strips, enough to cover a filleted breast. Place breast on top of bacon slices and place slices of veggies on chicken. Roll tight and use toothpick or twine to secure. Google told me this is called a Ballotine. You can tell him this, then follow with 'maybe we can wrap and stuff something later tonight'. Turn on even to 400 and fry the rolls until bacon looks cooked toss on a tray and cook for 30-40 mins or until done. Make mashed potatoes and remember to use a lot of innuendos when mashing the potatoes. Make steamed veggies so the whole meal doesn't feel to heavy. Have white and red wine one hand. Theres enough for two people to do and there's enough time for a glass of wine to be had before the chicken is done. Eat. Watch movie. Drink more. Then suck some dick then slay some boypucci or get yours slayed.

>>11826070
lmao like anyone cares what boomer breeders think

>>11825571
Yeah, op not gay! But his boyfriend is! Op is anal cent

>>11824922
>their bodies
and someone else's ¬,¬

>>11826093
Who said anything about non consensual?

>>11824926
That kid is on the right side of history!

>>11827147
12 year olds can't consent

>>11827362
Explain that to AL evangelicals. Some of them even run for congress and get supported by commander-in-chief bone spur, lol!

>>11827408
What? You can't take allegations as fact, that's slander and a perversion of justice.

I made my soon to be boyfriend mapo tofu last weekend. It came out well and he loved it.
He said it didn't make my cum taste bad either.

>>11825571

>>11827635
My boyfriend and I got CFA for dinner last night, faggot. It tastes even better knowing that they secretly hate me but can't turn me away.

>>11824814

>ywn have a 5'4 lil bf to sneak up on in the kitchen and cuddle from behind

life is suffering

>>11824903
t. Mohamed

>>11824814
Hell is forever fag

>>11827684
>be 5'5
>have 6'3 bf
it's a great feeling. And I don't even have to bend over to suck his dick

>why do faggot couples always look alike?

>>11827649
>I paid bigots money to feed their cause of oppressing me
You sure won there, retard.

>>11828230
>implying $16 make a difference
if I avoided every company that hated me, I'd be left with fucking Starbucks and Gillette. No thanks.

>>11827635
>>11828230
lol who cares, it's no skin off my back
i'm not the one making this into some political war you trog
i literally do not give a single shit what they do with my money as long as i get my spicy chicken deluxe sandwich and they don't touch me personally

>>11824814
fucking homo mods deleting my post

>>11827684
>wanting a manlet
it's cute if it's an otouto but not for husbands

>>11825571
I hate pics like this because they clearly know they're attractive and just want attention with said photo. Gays can be more vapid than girls sometimes.

>>11828032
since they are degenerates they also get off by pretending they are siblings when having sex

>>11829387
t. sister fucker

Reverse sear some steaks and make sides with your date while you have some drinks. Having your date sit awkwardly in the living room or having them eat as soon as they come over is the most autistic thing ever.

>>11829793

theres nothing i hate more than some fag forcing me to cook

>>11829831

>>11829871
Holy shit that's an impressive cake

>>11829871

gay as fuck but I'd eat it

>>11829871
Gay or not, that's some top notch work.

>>11824814
Fuck off you fucking bug chasing faggot

>>11824841
>go light on the garlic
Over my dead body

>>11824916
>I'm proud to be redpilled. Praise fucking Lord Kek
You have to be 18 or older to post on this board.

Cooking with your gay lover is the best cause sometimes if we're waiting for the food to cook in the oven, we would have hot sex in the living room

>>11825474
>cartoon recipe with lots of swear words
I'm a teenager in 2013 and this is epic.

>>11825860
Eve transitioned, actually, he's going by Steve now

>>11827006
>recipe with swear words
EPIC

>>11828230
>putting a quote on top of an image of the same quote
Why do boomers do this?

>>11828869
>just want attention
It's a fucking stock photo. How are you going to get attention from it?

>>11829871
>"cake"
>mostly inedible decorations
>actual cake part doesn't even taste good

>>11829965
from people deciding on a stock photo to use

>>11829968
that's because all the flavor is stored in the anus

>>11828869
>t. jelly uggo

Why are white men so prone to being beta cock guzzling faggots?

>>11830314

Because pussy is scary and intimidating to us, and white women dominate us, so we prefer to watch gay porn in our safe spaces.

>>11824814
Faggots are disgusting

>>11830314
>Why are white men so prone to being beta cock guzzling faggots?

Honestly, I think it's a lack of testosterone in modern white people and plus american schools encourage faggot behavior at a very young age so little kids get sexually confused earlier.

>>11830314
The real question is why any ""men"" would willingly chose females over men

>>11828301
Every company these days is jumping on the "gay is ok" bandwagon you attention seeking faggot.

Whenever me and my gf see gay people or race mixers in public we always laugh to ourselves about how disgusting you are behind your back btw, just so you know

>>11830314
>>11830321
Kek, forgot to delete your name, Schlomo?

>>11830369
When we see idiot breeders, we laugh out loud about how pathetic you are. Just so you know.

>>11830314

White people understand they're genetically inferior to people with melanin, so they're consciously choosing to not procreate and spread their beta genetics.

>>11830376
>idiot breeders

Than you white fags from removing yourselves from the gene pool. Evolution moves forwards, not backwards.

>>11827684
I'm that short and I have a straight friend that does that to me. It's nice but I know he's not interested...

>>11830314

I don't know, but white dudes cry way more than I'm comfortable with. Like, full on tears crying over cartoons & movies & shit. WTF? Learn to compose yourselves, you beta fucking numales.

>>11830380
>Homophobe in 2019
>Evolved

Pick one. BTW, we know you look at tranny porn when you jerk off. We know you're curious. We know.

>>11830411
Pretty transphobic to suggest it's gay to masturbate to trans porn

>>11830411

lol @ you faggot losers thinking the word homophobe has any power.

You faggots are a car accident. People looking at you doesn't meat they want to fuck you, dumbshit degenerate. You want attention flamers... now we're all laughing at you.

btw. nobody gives a shit that you're gay. only that you're an attention seeking douche.

Redpill me on /lgbt/

>>11830432
Awful board if you're any of those letters

Can I just be the top and fuck a bottom so good they'll submissively and loving make me a nice meal instead? I'll reward them for being a good boy.

>>11830426
Feel better now?

>>11830426
Dude, pull the corn cob out of your ass, you can come out of the closet nowadays and no one gives a shit except loony toons evangelicals.

>>11830380
>Wanting to spread your genes on this dying planet
You are a retard, humanity is coming to an end soon and by breeding you are just creating a few generations to suffer before it is all over.
Why waste your time and money on kids during during your short time in this world?

>>11830413
>Pretty transphobic to suggest it's gay to masturbate to trans porn
I mean, it's not transphobic to suggest that. Sure there are straight guys that masturbate to it but that's sort of a rarity imo.
mostly it's guys who are into feminine men, or guys who are closet homos and will never accept the fact that they are gay.

Transgender soft-core where the person passes while fully clothes: Not Gay
Transgender hard-core where the person's dick is out and flopping about: Very Very Gay

>>11830432
everyone there hates themselves. normal LGBT people are out in the world enjoying the most freedom they'll ever have. 4chan /lbgt/s all wallow in self hatred and bitterness (hey, sort of like the rest of the site!)

t. a discord tranny

This is a cooking thread you retards, post ideas or get out. Nobody cares about your politcal opinions.

Date night with a new person where you want to fuck at the end of the night, or date night with your long term where you want to have fun overeating and talking.

I don't like to cook or eat with the people I date, it reminds me that they have bowel movements and I find that disgusting.

>>11830426
>nobody gives a shit that you're gay.
you seem concerned

>>11824814
Straight cook here. Chicken breast with sautéed veggies, like peppers, onion, potato, maybe even carrot. You can add some spices to it, like coriander, paprika, you name it... It's cheap, healthy, delicious and fast to prepare. You can even add sauces to it. Good luck, fellow gay cook.

>>11830724
Why not post ideas for both?

>>11830776
For a new date, it has to be lite and quick. No one wants to eat a whole lot on front of someone they don't know well and are attracted to. I usually give bitches a bowl of cereal and offer them a snapple.
For a long term girlfriend make a giant batch of nachos and put on the sopranos.

>>11824826
>>11825226
>>11825334
>>11825347
>>11825352
>>11825850
>>11825860
>>11825924
>>11826070
>>11827700
No one will ever amke coffee for you. No one will ever wrap their arms around you for early morning kitchen cuddles. No one will ever love you. You will forever be alone.

>>11830314
Daily reminder that statistically, blacks tend to fall into the lgbt category more than whites

>>11825571
>n-word
I miss watching the fag drags during my childhood. Faggots are an insufferable group of (((people))).

Hot pockets.

Fags love hot pockets!

>>11824826
what kind of gay tho? It matters because it can go from "anything just fucc my boipucci later" to "it has to be healthy". Are you a foodfag? Or an aestheticfag?

>>11830921
I just want him to make my pucci jucci

>>11825474
>>11829945
>>11829954
Cool post more info ones that are ez and fun to do, bam!

>>11831331
Taco bites

>>11831338
Fish?

>>11831342
Steak?

>>11831347
Pizza

>>11831352

>>11831363
/fit/ style

>>11831363
you should be put in jail

>>11830409
>get a boyfriend shortly after coming out because young and lonely
>watch a movie with bf
>character dies or bad thing happens to child character
>he fucking loses it
>pauses the movie and tears everywhere
>after the first time it happens I just start to ignore it and roll my eyes
>tries to act like I'm an unfeeling monster
>get sick of his moods and bullshit
>dump his sissy Cuban ass who couldn't even cook any delicious Cuban food

I made sure to learn how to make Cuban coffee and croquettes from his mom before I broke up with him, so at least it wasn't a total waste of time

>>11830409
African nigga's cry (and laugh and scream) more than any other people I've met tbhwyf
Maybe clappistanis cry a lot too idk

>>11824814
Could have gotten along just fine without shoehorning in the homosexuality in the post op.

>>11824814
A bun in the oven

>>11824814

>What are some good things to cook on date night?

None. Just a gerbil and some steroids.

>>11824814
faggot

>>11831363
They should just invent some "bodybuilder" slop in the style of soylent, this shit is getting embarrassing

>>11831331
>>11831338
>>11831342
>>11831347
>>11831352
>>11831363
>>11831368
These are some of the unsexiest reicpes I have ever seen and I certainly hope nobody ever makes any of them for a date.

>>11825110
>implying women can be chefs

>>11824814
fuck off tumblrite

>>11825226
>>11825334
>>11825352
>>11825860
>>11826070
>>11827700
>>11828032
>>11828869
>>11829387
>>11829914
>>11830336
>>11831529
>>11831556
>Imagine being so triggered by a stock a photo

>>11831751
>ywn be this happy
why even live?

>>11825474
How to make cous-cous not taste like... nothing

>>11824814
>cooking on date nights
We just fuck all night and then order take out like Taco Bell or something. Or did you mean actual date/night out with your bf?

>>11824916
Fuck off outta here, virgin. Reasonable ppl are trying to carry on a conversation without you little bitchbois fuckn shit up

>>11824814
you're clearly not here for cooking when you post a picture like that.

We have a board for faggots. Go attention seek over there

Mods - clearly not /ck related.

>>11830793
half an english muffin and the tail end of an old jar of peanut butter that's been sitting there for months

>>11831608
i hope these recipes were an elaborate prank to cockblock clueless nerds

>>11832589
replace half the water with broth. also, it's not supposed to taste like anything. it's like rice, it's supposed to be a vehicle for other stuff. look up how to cook a tagine, a moroccan dish where the couscous soaks up flavor from meats as they cook together (like a biryani kinda

>>11829941
>make out sessions between searing
>nibbling on his neck while he's washing the veggies

>>11829958
It's probably a slideshow of other quotes from le weed leaf man wirhhi most infamous one as the title
Millenials and zoomers do it all the time too, go to any "meme page" on social media where they caption stolen content with some stupid shit

>>11833062
>he doesnt spoil his bf with home cooing

>>11833411
Well this is /ck/ we are on so I wouldn't be surprised if these ware posted unironically

>>11828230

He's not wrong. "Political power is primarily “symbolic” in its nature. What he means by this further technical term is that the roles, masks, or mandates that public authorities bear is more important politically than the true “reality” of the individuals in question (whether they are unintelligent, unfaithful to their wives, good family women, and so forth). For example, fashionable liberal criticisms of George W. Bush the man are irrelevant to understanding or evaluating his political power. It is the office or place an individual occupies in their political system (or “big Other”) that ensures the political force of their words, and the belief of subjects in their authority. This is why the resort of a political leader or regime to “the real of violence” (such as war or police action) amounts to a confession of its weakness as a political regime. Žižek sometimes puts this thought by saying that people believe through the big Other, or that the big Other believes for them, despite what they might inwardly think or cynically say."

But Trudeau didn't mean to be right, he's still an idiot.

Some sort of a chicken with pan-sauce. Simple, quick and it makes you look skilled and sexy.

>>11837355
What kind of starch could you serve with that?

>>11837377
whipped sweet potatoes with sour cream.

Eating or cooking when you want some is more a matter of don'ts then dos.

- nothing messy
- nothing that gives you gas: avoid onions and lentils
- nothing that gives you the runs: avoid chilli

So the classic is steak and mushroom and red wine. Tomato basil salad. Skip the dessert and don't get too full so you won't throw up when you bang.

If you are gay, lube up BEFORE you get drunk or you wake up with a sore arse. If it's a new date, sign the consent forms before hand so nobody gets accused of rape.

>>11824834
If I get invited over for dinner and dinner is pasta...that's just kinda sad.

>>11824841
>garlic

Garlic is delicious but in addition to bad breath it can give some people gas and make them fart, so this is a bad date night food, almost as bad as beans. (so burrito is a bad idea too).

Becareful with dairy because dairy can hurry some people's need to go to the bathroom and do #2. Keep it light.

>>11837964
>>11837990

Steak and mushrooms is perfect because beef steak can make you feel full without physically filling your stomach too much, so you won't have to worry about throwing up or one of you having to do #2 before going home or waiting for the other person to go home.

Just in case your guest has to go, keep something like perfume or air freshener on the bathroom countertop.

If you are the guest and created clogzilla, pour a cup of liquid soap into the toilet and add warm water, let it sit and always wait till the contents have sunk down to normal water level before flushing again. If worse comes to worse, make a joke and offer to chip in for the plumber.

Whatever you do, don't be that crazy girl that kept poop in her purse because the toilet wont' flush, or the one who tried to throw it out of the window and then it got stuck, and the SHE got stuck trying to retrieve it between two panes of glass.


Also, host, make sure you have a trashcan with a cover, and ideally some little baggies that can be tied off, this is general party hosting advice.

>>11838040
...and if one is prone to clogzillas especially in buildings with old toilets, get some hertel concentrate:
https://hertel.ca/en/products/multi-all-purpose-ultra-concentrated-cleaner/

All you need is a capful instead of a cup, so you can keep it in your purse, or messenger bag.

>>11830364
This picture always makes me hungry for roast beef, where is the picture from?

A while ago, there were these 'abortion' pics where the fetuses were actually from miscarriages, they were red and sticky and just reminded me of asian bbq. It always made me hungry seeing those.

>>11824951
>onion
>>11824951
>beans
>>11824951
>broccoli

Might cause bloating and gas. Ditto for brussel sprouts.

>>11825474
olive oil has a really low smoking point, I never use it to cook anything, only stir it into pasta already done.

>>11824834
>make spaghetti
>noodles come out of my asshole during sex
no thanks faggot

>>11837964
>consent forms

Can one get any more pozzed than this?

If you're into necro, remember to transfer your portion out of the cooking pot before you poison it.

For those of us who have cannibalistic/sadistic inclinations (never was a huge fan), don't skimp on knock-out drugs. Use the full dose of Diazepam/temazepam/GHB. There's nothing worse than an awkward struggle when your guest just refuses to go down to the killing room in your cellar.

>>11824814
sketyis

>>11824814
Sah, OP

Only part geeey but I once made ravioli with my gf.
>par(tially) cook base ('shrooms and cheese in my case but use what you both like)
>refrigerate
>buy square wonton wrappers at supermarket (usually pretty easy to find)
>buy or make easy sauce of choice/use good olive oil and fresh parm
>heat sauce and boil some water
>you and date make ravioli together
>cook ravioli
>toss in sauce
>eat and then fuck

fuckin ez

>>11824814
Sesame beef. Down go the panties, or the boxers as the case may be.

>>11838654
>your cellar.

Are you a newfag living in your parent's basement or are you an oldfag of the boomer generation who own houses and fucked every generation after you?

People nowadays live in apartments.

This will get him in mood for sex

This will make you look sexy and requires little time, skill, effort or money
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0D8KM2CxuU