/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11764778
Is that the 3rd Harry Potter movie on your laptop?

>>11764778
That's a nice shartcootery board, OP!

>>11764810
yes you are right! it snowed where we went so i thought itd be nice to just have a comfy movie turned on
>>11764811
Thank you Anonymous! Haha, very cool!

>>11764778
I hate shooting sharts. :^)

>>11764829
Haha same here! I love that FACE at the end of your post, it is very mischievous like me! Haha!

>>11764778
I find the idea of doing this is always better than actually doing it.

I wonder what kind of cheeses they make using magic in the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though

"No!" The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>>11764850
it was actually pretty nice. my gf and i are no experts in cheese or wine but they paired well enough for the both of us and we had a good night. the malbec in the pic was awful though

>>11764778
It called a charcuterie board you dumbo

>>11764778
>Groooyear
>Wensleydale w/ cranberries (disgusting)
>brie de maux?

>>11764778
WA LA!

>>11764952
yes! haha! wait i LIKE GRYERE! and the brie was great too poopy pants! the crangerry heese was w/e but my gf wanted it
>>11764954
maresee mongsiewer!

bready good. Except some idiot is gonna smear cheese all over one of those knives and then place it back on the magnetic rack.

>>11764944
WA LA
A
L
A

>>11764778
Tell me how I know you're going to eat all that shit by yourself

>>11764778
>ruinining your cheese/meat experience with shitty 10 dollar grocery store wine

shiggy

>>11764778
get rid of all the wine, half the amount of brie, double the meat and this would be a pretty kino experience.

>>11765175
i ate it with my gf and have a lot leftover for another night
>>11765180
we were supposed to research good wines but ended up just buying $25 bottles. the cab sav was okay the malbec sucked but then again i know nothing about wine
>>11765194
i was considering adding more meat but we shared pic rel before the board so thought itd be too much for one night

>>11764778
Looks dope OP. Some stuff I like that you could try next time; more varieties of cured meats, multiple varieties of mustards, more jams and honey, baked brie. flavored, seasoned, or herbed oil for dipping bread. Seasoned crackers, bread and butter pickles, two types of bread. Not everyone likes the same stuff but charcuterie and cheese plates are all about variety so you can't go wrong having more random crap.

>>11767304
thanks! yeah it was my first time so definitely going to try more variety next time. mustards is something i hadnt considered so cheers

I sharcootery hope you guys don't do this.

>>11767341
If it's mustards you are after you can buy different flavors of store bought stuff. I like making my own. Just buy basic whole grain or stone ground mustard and start mixing stuff in. Spicy mustard? Add cayenne or paprika. Sweet mustard? Add honey. Herbed mustard? I like dill.

>>11764778
Tbh are those knife useful and worth the investment?

>>11767353
Not really but they are cute as fuck.

>>11767353
Forgot pic

>>11764810
That instantly drains all class out of the board, to be honest.
Is fig butter good? is it just mushed up figs?

Looks lovely OP
I'm more of a ploughman's and beer kind of guy but I'd deffo eat (and drink) everything there.

>>11767375
I'd suck this guys dick. What's in the little wooden bowl on the left?

>>11767353
the board was like $30 off amazon. we're thinking of upgrading in the near future but as >>11767356
said not really useful but add to the atmosphere
>>11767366
lol we were oiginally going to watch breathless butonly ive seen it before and we both dont like watching new films while drinking. the fig butter was pretty good, not too sweet
>>11767375
that looks fucking great. im more of a beer guy too but have been trying wine lately since its cold

>>11764778
>burned ugly bread for no reason
>saltines
>club crackers
wow great

>>11767375
It looks good but I don't think I've ever seen an egg on a board like that before. Is that a usual thing?

>>11767407
there was no toaster so we just toasted them on the pan. burnt a little because we were buzzed and yeah the crackers were lacking but we decided to use what we had at home instead of buying more

>>11767412
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ploughman%27s_lunch

>>11764778
>crackers on the same plate
>no room to cut cheese
>fucking SALTINES
>fucking CLUB CRACKERS

just get table water crackers for fucks sake
get another plate for them
the grapes are eh but the pickles seem like they might be a good touch

you were so close anon
maybe next time

>>11764778
uninspired

ITT: autists pretending to be autistic squared.