/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Shit, I have a similar story.
>wanted milk tea
>had ice cold can of lemon tea and some milk
>haha milk + tea = milk tea what's a lemon hahaha
>mfw it tasted like shit
>mfw the sourness of the lemon tea just completely clashed with the creaminess of the milk
>mfw the tea and the milk were completely immiscible too

There was also another time I "made ketchup" by sauteing a bunch of onions, throwing in some pretty shit quality tomatoes and splashing in some vinegar and salt. It was plain offensive. Who the fuck knows what got into me that day.

damn i'm a raging weeaboo but even i wouldn't call it milk tea.

>>11710055
not a bad idea, an oreo filling is a mix of fucking weird hydrogenated oils and artificial flavors though.. its not your fault americas food standards are degenerate

>>11710055
>be very young
>watch scooby doo
>see shaggy make one of those sandwich mountains and then give it a name
>it looks delicious
>run to kitchen and bust out the bread, cold cuts and every condiment we have
>start stacking bread, meats, cheeses and condiments pretty much at random
>have a proper mountain sandwich and name it The Anon Deluxe
>can't really hold it
>can't fit in mouth
>try biting from the side and everything falls all over the place
>try eating with fork
>it's disgusting
>throw everything in the trash
>later on get ass kicked by father for wasting food when he sees it all in the garbage can

>>11710055
i used to think kosher salt was for hipsters who wanted goiters

>>11710785
I loved that scene. The animation was really satisfying. Thanks for reminding me of it.

>>11710785
I bet this greedy fucker eats Shaggy's sandwich right after he gulps that down.

>>11710785
>watching a disney movie or something about cooking
>someone in the movie makes a cake and peanut butter sandwich
>just a slice of cake on bread with peanut butter
>we had cake at the time so i tried it
>took a bite
>it was awful
>threw it away
Dunno if I didn't see what actually happened in the movie correctly but it was shit.

>making Pho
>doing it right, low simmer for around 10 hours total
>toss bones in oven.
>hours pass
>toast the bones to perfection, good start. toss em in the broth
>toast the onions
>supposed to broil them until blackened
>hours pass
>lose track of time and they are straight up burnt to a crisp, like shriveled up, jet black chips.
>figure "whats the difference between blackened and burnt?"
>figure it'll brobably just taste a little more toasty than usual
>toss them in the broth
>hours pass
>taste
>I literally wretch from the bitter, horrible taste
>somehow think I can still salvage it with loads of pepper and other spices
>monkey around for another half hour
>throw the whole think away and order a pizza
>whole day wasted
>I haven't even tried making pho since.

>>11710094
>Milk tea
Do you call tea with honey honey tea?

>>11710055
>be Valentine's last year
>spending the night with the then bf
>poured chocolate syrup on my ass and ate it
>cuddled and slept after having rough sex all night long
>woke up with sticky ass
>apparently he didn't eat it properly
>had to wash the bedsheets too
It did smell really sweet all day tho lol

>>11710785
Zombie Island is a treasure

>>11710055
Mistakes were made
>Be young anon, parents leave for night
>Decide to surprise parents with monkey bread
>decide to triple the ingredients to have a feast for days
>Everything goes well with pre packaged dough, the only hard part being the sauce to coat it with.
>Sugar sauce starts getting burned immediately and getting way to sticky on the stove, foaming over the top and spreading on the stove.
>Decide to throw the bubbling concoction onto the dough in its little cake mold.
>Filled to the top, mere shakes away from spilling
>I see nothing wrong with this.
>Throw it into the oven, satisfied with the output i turn on the oven
>Have to to put it on a higher setting since the obvious increase of ingredients
>Wait
Part 1/2

>>11711274
>Panic
>A burned candy smell goes through the house and i peer through the oven door
>The thing, the cake or bread has bubbled over its moulding spilling everywhere on the pan.
>Everything is fine, this is why cookie sheet is there underneath.
>Continue baking.
>After the smell starts to become to much, i take it out the oven
>half baked the sauce managed to drench everything thoroughly except the cake itself
>I say half baked but this thing had the trifecta of being a third baked,a third raw, and a third burnt.
>It was everything while being a horrible globious nightmare.
>Realizing my shame must be now be hidden i start eating.
>Minimizing its presence as much as i could in the trash, parent anons must not know
>Half dazed and realizing the probable diabetic/health effects of eating the majority of a half pile of raw sugar dough balls
>I finally see the cookie sheet
>It is entirely candied, solid candy layer almost like a weird ice rink.
>I cannot wash this, its not coming off. Start stabbing with a knife, little effect.
>Decide it can be broken, take outside start smashing against the house
>Works
>Mostly....see the sheet itself, horribly malformed and still coated with candied graphite
>See the time, realize have no time for this. Parents home soon.
>Take glob of raw sugar dough balls from trash put it on the sheet
>Run down the street with sheet and balls infront of me
>Hide all remnants of the travesty in park garbage.
>Parents still question the disappearance of certain items of bakeware.

>>11711061
I'm gay btw

>>11711301
Thanks for telling me anon

>>11710055
>pour bowl of fruit loops
>realize no milk
>use Dr. Pepper instead of milk
>not as bad as it sounds

>be of hunger
>spot eggs in the fridge
>all useful pots are being cleaned in the dishwasher
>derp, I could use the microwave
>they say you don't put whole eggs in it, but HOL UP if I put them in a glass with water I'm technically boiling them, will be safe
>black_dude_pointing_at_his_head.jpg
>egg explodes, smearing smelly shit on the grill on the top of the microwave's cavity, which is undisassemblable
>foul smell generates from the oven every time I cook something up to this day
welp

>>11711332
>undisassemblable
Muchos KEKos

>>11711332
also
>be me, 10ish yo
>be at grampa's house with my parents and uncles
>granny was making coffee with a moka pot, leaves the kitchen to join the rest of the family
>see the pot on the stove
>see the spice shelf by the side of the stove
>cool, let's kick that coffee up
>put a dash of chilly powder in the moka pot, tell nobody
>everyone has Anon's special brew, everybody says it tastes kinda funny
I never confessed that to anyone except you, fellow anons.

>>11711332
TOPKEK
I did the exact same thing, and I was 19

>>11711370
Also should mention the door flew off and hit me 4 feet away. I was deaf in my right ear for the rest of the day

>>11710055
>>11710105
Well if it was actual cream you'd have to refrigerate it, wouldn't you?

>>11710055
I mean I definitely see your line of reasoning but you have to remember that the cream filling in oreo's is FAR from being just cream and sugar lol..

>>11711321
reminds me of this

>at a buddies place out of town for a week
>absolute bender
>third morning wake up lightly hung over
>no coffee
>no coffee mugs
>see bottle of Dr. pepper, cap left off and dead flat from night before
>find a bowl, literally the only clean dishware in the house
>mix flat Dr. pep with some bourbon in the bowl in lieu of coffee
>no real food either so I scoop cream cheese out of a tub with my fingers for sustenance.

that had to be the most low class moment of my life desu

>>11711288
Did you try baking after this shit show?

>leftover burger from bbq night before
>want to take it for lunch (3rd grade)
>fuck cold burgers, I'll microwave it to keep it hot
>but if I only cook it for 1:30, it will be cold by lunch again
>so I'll cook it for 13 minutes and it will be hot for 6 times as long
>im_a_genius.gif
>halfway through, smells like shit
>open mic door, cheese is hardened, bread is tougher than a rock, patty is curled
>had no lunch that day because "can't waste any food ever" dad

>>11711332
Break them into a bowl and 20-30 seconds you have decent eggs.

>>11710055
>wanted milk tea
You could have ended the story right there and your OP pic would have been just as appropriate.

>>11712048
yeah I know, in fact I had already made poached eggs in the microwave before, I was just too lazy that time to go for the right procedure.