/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Bad doggo

>>11600573
you are what you eat

>>11600566
That's pretty hot,bro.

>>11600566
who the fuck holds a whisk like that?
what a ham-handed mongol

>>11601020
the ring of doom

>>11601025
It's a beauty.

>>11601020
>>11601043
That man is a fucking disaster

>>11600566
Reminds me of that /b/ thread when anon fucked up his anus and inner workings with a whisk.

>>11600647
I want to say underrated cause I smirked, but it's still the same "lmao asians eat dog" joke that we see over 50 times a day on this board.

>>11600573
I hate dogs so much.

>>11600566

>>11601638

Alright, which JAV is this?

>>11601536
This is clever

>>11601464
>file name
KEK. good job, anon.
but...how does he get out without breaking any eggs?

>>11601831
He moves them

>>11601536
i was hoping he would shoot himself
what the hell is 'polis'?

>>11601831
>>11601831
>>11601831
>>11601831
>>11601831
>>11601831
Could we please stop using that file name so this faggot stops patting himself on the back in every thread for forcing it?

>>11601842
>triggeredfag is triggered
my work here is done

>>11601842
>upset about the filename

>>11601876
Don't give a shit about the filename itself, it's the one anon who comes into every thread to pat himself on the back that's the problem.

>>11601464
how does the file name break the eggs without getting out?

>>11601883
The filename predates this meme about acknowledging the filename, by a significant amount

>>11601883
I solved it a while ago while you're busy feeding trolls like a child. Good job, stupid.

>>11601883
i'm also gay. that might explain why i'm triggered so easily.

>>11601897
Liking cock is not an excuse for being a faggot

>>11601898
Licking cock is.

>>11601899
licking cock is quite gay, but not necessarily faggotry

>>11601897
>hurr durr people don't exaggerate their emotions on the internet

I swear you reddit babies seem newer and newer with each post.

>>11601672
she has to eat all the eggs

>>11601464
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever..

>>11601464
How do you make an omelette without breaking a few eggs?

>>11601834
We ARE the polis!

>>11602168
Got a laugh outta me, son. I've gotta give ye that.

>>11600566
based

>>11600573
Legend says he ate the dog afterwards

>>11601904
no. u.

>>11600566
why do gapped tooth guys so frequently grow up to be gay?

>>11602259
This has to be satire

>>11602259
so that's what they mean when they say soy boys

>>11601043
he can't do ANYTHING right

>>11602239
My favorite part of this is how he sets his phone down in the old raw meat packaging.

>>11602290
I was not expecting that...loaf, when he opened the bag after waiting 3 minutes. That was impressive. Disgusting and horrifying, but impressive.

>>11601464
Why is he so damn surly?

>>11601923
what is this called
i remember my buddy taking me to eat after a drunk night and it was so fucking good

>>11601923
>Surly Mexican man king of the taco truck

>>11602290
Latinos are truly the greatest culinary minds out there

>>11602324
you say this every time that webm is posted. shut the fuck up

>>11602275
I don't think he's gay, he's just a clumsy, awkward sperg and underestimated how hard it would be to fit in his mouth.

>>11600573
I guess he had dogmeat the day after

>>11601923
kek this tired bastard stopped giving a fuck

>>11601897
It explains it. But it doesn't make it okay.

>>11602290
Terrible recipe. Looks like fucking prison food. Awful.

>>11602110
based "There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever.." poster.

>>11601464
No! I am the new master of asian egg cookery, you have been USURPED as king!

>>11601478
based

>>11602655
>prison burrito
>looks like prison food
what were you expecting?

>>11601813
I'm not sure why, but this made me seething mad

>>11602110
but how does he get out?

>>11602469
>filename

>>11601478
I can smell your stretched butthole from my computer screen.

>>11602762
>some peasant who doesn't even have a fort is going to usurp the king

>>11603384
anon what the fuck is wrong with you

>>11601923
>dropped taco shell to the sauce
heh.. nothing personnel kid....

>>11601464
Nice, never seen this one before.

>>11603529
found the new fig

>>11602275
I've honestly noticed this too, im sure it's just confirmation bias though.

>>11601923

>>11602259
First laugh in the morning, thanks.

>>11603594
Damn, bet the camera guy was going up on that rack next

>>11601536
Nice. Well done.

>>11600566
Come dine with me?

>>11603508
faggot

>>11601464

>>11601464
How?

>>11602961
I thought it was just me

>>11601020
>>11601043
Who is this guy again?

I know he's some Youtuber who can't cook for shit, but I forgot his name.

>>11602961
Of course it is, bitch is spilling shit everywhere

>>11603786
I miss that show so much.

>>11601033
this is more disgusting than anything ive seen on /b/ in years

>>11601033
oh look, the invention of the keto snack

>>11602259
LMAO

>>11601464
reminder this is his karmic retribution for stealing an egg in a prior life.

>>11601876
DEACTIVATE THESE ALMONDS RIGHT NOW MISTER! YOU THINK IM MADE OF ALMONDS! YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ACTIVE ALMONDS! THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD PLEASE DEACTIVATE THE ALMONDS!

>>11602762

Just when i thought pajeets couldn't get any more disgusting.

Imagining the smell of that place with all of the eggs going rancid in the heat is making me want to vomit.

>>11600573
>when dinner eats lunch

>>11604187
KEK

>>11601043
who the fuck is this?

>>11602259
>mfw soy milk truck arrives

>>11602259
>>11604348
wtf I selected the pic

>>11601033
Baste americans

>>11604112
https://www.youtube.com/user/jakatak69

>>11601464
How does he get out

>>11602259

>>11604385
He doesn't

>>11602239

This guy is a fucking troll, and he gets you turds everytime

>>11602762
he's too aggressive, no respect for the egg

>>11602259
I tried

>>11600573
Cannibalism?

>>11601478
>nigger detected

>>11601033
wife material right there

>>11602290
>puts mayo and ketchup on it at the end

>>11601464
Such surliness.

>>11601638

>>11602259

>>11602762
not surly enough

>>11605139
this was actually very satisfying to watch, thanks anon

>>11604768
Fuck yes. Cows tongue is goat.

>>11605592

>>11605592
What lessons can I learn from this?

>>11605592
>fried garlic chips
Just fucking admit you burnt it and start over, bitch.

>>11605769

>>11605592
jesus fucking christ. imagine making this video unironically

Being the PM's private secretary must be a fucking shit job, imagine the hours

>>11605777
I used to do the stacking thing with my sandwiches. Cutting them in half and smushing them down in layers until I had a hyper dense sandwich cube. Pretty good.

>>11603525
>Taco shell
that's a tortilla

>>11605519
No, it's cow

>>11600573
>the drooling on his leg at the end
ew, fucking dogs man... Cats are far superior.

>>11605822
?
do i look fucking mexican to you?

>>11605810
american?

>>11605876

>>11605592
>has a wok
>uses a spatula
This enrages me more than it should.

>>11605886
>hispanic heritage month

>>11605886
jesus christ, mexican "cuisine" is just a meme isn't it? is this what getting redpilled feels like?

>>11605931

>>11605935
brainlet

>>11605886
>>11605945
god, i fucking hate these subhuman fucks

>>11605948

>>11605876
idk, but it doesn't hurt to know the difference.

>>11601478
t. muslim

>>11605945
>>11605886
>>11605953

>>11606113
aye caramba

>>11606168
What a beautiful culture.

>>11606113
>>11606168
You would literally die you ate that.

>>11606178
Then why do we still have mexicans?

>implying white people are any better

>>11606194
White people have amazing ranges. We have the most brilliant people in the world and some of the dumbest. You brown people are all just consistently below average.

>>11606200
Please don't break the 4th wall

>>11606194
Holy damn. Once a (white) lady recommended I use condensed milk in mac and cheese.... I don't eat very healthy but this is something else

>>11606207
>condensed milk in mac and cheese

Enjoy never shitting ever again. Fuck

>>11606205
We'll just keep making more.

sup realized im only good at baking and need tips to impress gf with meals
mostly familiar with pastas and soups stove wise, really need to expand my stove experience

>>11606213

>>11606213
wrong fucking thread my bad

>>11604365
meant to comment on how fucking insane this shit is

>>11604365
>>11606222

>>11606218
>>11606225
oh fuck thanks, saved

>>11604137
Dont you live in bongistan anymore?

>>11606233

>>11606207
>>11606210
It actually works really well if you cook the pasta like a risotto (medium boil, minimal water) and just stir in the condensed milk and cheese at the end. It gives you a cheesier flavour and means you don't need 2 pots.

>>11606205
that is a high stress situation

>>11606296
>please Abdul, you must sell more ice cream to pay bills
>no Fatima, I seel only three each day but is worth it for smile on tourist's faces

>>11606269

>>11606307
lol

>>11601958
based autism dog getting all the angst out

>>11605830
If you hadn't wrote this i would have.

>>11605866
i too prefer buttholes and stench

>>11600566
I'm incapable of not laughing at this clip every time I see it. Am I retarded?

>>11602290
Do prisoners develop some horrible vitamin deficiency for eating so much ramen and chips? I don't many of them eat that nutriloaf designed for them.

>>11605592
>cornstarch for breading
Who the fuck makes these videos?

>>11606304
I read somewhere that there's a bunch of those kind of guys, it started years a go to attract more people since (believe or not) ice cream consumption in Turkey isn't that great.

>>11606269

>>11606469
I don't know if you are, but is the guy in that webm? I can't tell if he's handicapped or just trying not to laugh.

>>11605945
why do women always have to talk so much

>>11606756
I'm not sure I would say no to this, or that fish that's still alive after frying it, or that squid that lashes about when you pour soy sauce on it. I mean, they're all as fresh as they can get, right? Closest thing to eating it alive? I'd try it.

>>11606758
>why do women always have to talk so much
don't worry, no woman is ever going to talk to you

>>11606769
frog was sleeping and got pissed off

>>11601478
>>11602823
t.sandniggers

>>11606756
Chinamen are fucked in the head.

>>11606769
that's fine, I'm gay

>>11601464
How do eggs get through without breaking him?

>>11606807
same, being gay is a sin though so I just act asexual

>>11606762
Asia was a mistake

>>11606756
In a country where you don't even know if your oil has been dug out of a sewer it might be nice to know your food is fresh. Still a creature twitching in it's death throes in front of me isn't appetizing to me.

>>11606792
these are japs

>>11606756
>I have no legs and I must flee.

>>11606239
jesus fucking christ... this started so good and then.. WHAT? and then dipping in ketchup? Fucking hell

>>11606862
I think its a sweet chili sauce.

>>11602961
>>11604114
>>11604095

>slow motion so twice as long
>shaking camera
>spilling shit everywhere
>le quirky rustic bullshit
>unreadable font
>hair almost falling in bowl

>>11606689
It's like a slot machine.

>>11604316
>>11604112
cooking with ja/ck/

>>11606862
>this started so good
yeah, nah....

>>11601020
If I fucked up anything as bad as he fucks up everything, i'd be homeless and out of a job.

>>11606598
they are served nutritionally balanced but shitty food normally. I think the idea behind the prison burrito is more to get a calorie bomb that tastes alright but idk i've never been

>>11606689
it's a baby fuckin whale man! look at that fuckin thing

>>11606961

>>11604807
kek

>>11606756
:(

>>11606975
Non-Newtonian cooking.

>>11605519
>t.yotsuba
It IS really great

>>11601890
The nails have a super tiny dab of glue at the tip. See how the tip is slightly bulged at 8 seconds in.

>>11605884
No cheddar

>>11604668

Looks absolutely fucking scrumptious. Love bread and butter pudding.

>>11606756
I'm not a vegetarian faggot or anything like that, but why make an animal suffer like this?

I know they aren't always the smartest creatures, but they definitely know when most of their fucking body is missing. They are definitely thinking "I have no legs right now" or whatever. Or like in that eel video "I have no fucking skin and am being burned alive".

Why do that to a creature? What purpose could it serve? I'll eat the fuck out of lobster, crab, etc, all day long. But there's no need to make it literally suffer in front of me.

>>11601478
k Achmed

>>11605519
Cow tongue tacos are amazing when done right.

>>11601813
>followed two courses of Medieval and Early Modern Paleography and can't read some of this shit

>>11606170
Just like fried butter is American culture.

>>11605935
>Basing it on one dish
>All food from the US is McDonald's

>>11601876
Almonds status : ACTIVATED

>>11606200
>I'm white so white people have amazing range. Not all of them are retarded you know.
>Brown people don't have range and are all stupid because I'm not brown.
>I'm smart

>>11607347
I'm sorry that's the way it is.

>>11606205
based roach vendor

>>11607404
That's just what you want to be true. Deep down you know Black people were kings.

>>11607437
Oh so you're shitposting too.

>>11607404
this guy is such a fag. i hope he dies a horrible death soon.

>>11607440
I'm not. We invented math before the whites stole our ideas.

>>11607448
We invented math before the whites stole our ideas.
what is persia? who are the aztecs?

>>11607466
Not white.

>>11607474

>>11607487
literally how?

>>11607498
lol wh*teboi can't handle a little spice?

>>11607474
exactly, you don't even know what are you talking about, claiming that whites stole math from blacks when math and science were invented by different civilizations that had nothing to do with the fantasy of african kings, africans invented shit and whites have never claimed to invent math. now you also gonna claim that gunpowder was invented by an african scientist and not the chinese? africans have zero culture.

>>11606762

what the living fuck

if he at least killed them first id write this off as normal chink shit, but this is a whole new level

>>11607512
Calm down buddy, you're taking the memes a little too hard.

>>11604365
I didn't think i could get an erection from baked goods.

>>11607176
If you're thinking about the same eel video I am, then the eel had no head. It was literally decapitated. Still think that it was thinking "I have no fucking skin and am being burned alive"?

>>11607352

Dats joocy.

>>11605947
>>11607324
im not saying they're not delicious, im saying they're one trick phony

>>11607448
Actually poos and persians onvented math, not whites or blacks.

>>11606225

Me and my mom made these. Had a lot of fun but man puff pasty is fucking expensive

>>11606756

Vengeance for mr krabs

>>11606218
A L L I C I N
L
L
I
C
I
N

>>11607582
Well it all depends on how you define math. A neanderthal probably understood than 1+1=2.
Also the Mayans had supposedly some cool shit going on but they were murdered with common cold so who knows.

>>11601020
>soften the butter? fuck that noise

>>11607689
Several animals understand the concept of "more" or "less", which is probably all neanderthals understood.

>>11607689
I know I mean more complex forms of math like algebra, and the poos invented the 0-9 digit system.

As for the south americans, they apparently did have some forms of counting and recording numbers, and must have had some capability with math considering how they were capable of tracking stars. The romans also had their own numeral system but I dont know if they had any complex math like the persians. Some patts of math were invented by Europeans like Geometry and Calculus but the core of mathematics comes from the fertile crescent, not Africa or Europe.

>>11605945
I'll never have a latina girlfriend making me her terrible grandmother's stew and then giving me a terrible blowjob to make up for it.

>>11606839
Yeah I know, that's what I said. Chinamen.

>>11603384

>>11605276

>>11606067

>>11606790

>>11607225

reddit

>>11602762
inefficient.

>>11604355
>I invented "baste" for /ck/ last week.
>It's already spreading.
All is going according to plan....

>>11606756
>are you feeling it now Mr Krabs

>>11607689
>the Mayans were around when Europeans arrived to America

>>11606689
>What the fuck is that thing?
>Is that a fucking tuna bro?

>>11601464
>nobody mentions the guy downing egg shots in the foreground

>>11601388
Hot, link?

>>11606218
>didn't add some whiskey

>>11601478
You just haven't cooked it right.

>>11601464
glad to see this is still being posted 10 years later

>>11605139
This was pretty ASMR. Pretty gay, but ASMR nonetheless.

>>11605453
what is it with shitskins looking totally bewildered and wearing striped tshirts

>>11604365

>>11608122

>>11605777
Why

>>11601025
I swear one day hes gonna deglove that finger

>>11607116

>>11605945
If my grandma knew how to use a computer and saw this she'd get pissed this looks like shit

>>11605592
I fail to see the big problem with this one

>>11601923
I've been there! Accidentally double ordered which was perfectly fine by me.

>>11606782

>>11607352
Ooh yeah rare chicken, you just don't see that every day.

>>11600566
Is this from "Come Dine with Me"?

>>11607522
fuck you liberal

>>11608214
>we Dad u heart you! rock

>>11608281
>when your children give you a biscuit that claims they're the dad

>>11608288
>alright kids better get on those mortgage payments

>>11607446
Piss off the beast is immortal if it hasnt killed him now it wont kill him ever

>>11606862
Indians love ketchup.

>>11607404
I love LAbeast. He's such a fucking idiot but he's so nice.

>>11607440
This unironically looks good

>>11605886
actually a good one only plebs wouldnt taste it.

>>11601923
but how does he get out without breaking all the tortillas

>>11606205
If an ice cream vendor did this in America they would get shot

>>11606756
The fuck is it with asians and just having 0 empathy / sympathy when it comes to animals? I try to avoid stupid stereotypes, but they really just seem to not give a shit.

>>11608275
If you did it wouldn't be rare.

>>11608540
lol yeah chinks am I right? *boils lobster alive*

>>11608546
That shit is also awful. However, I think that's basically the worst thing you can do in 'western' culture that is mostly accepted, and I don't think it comes close to the absolutely fucked shit I've seen people in asian countries casually do to animals.

>>11607647
Make it yourself.

>>11606689
>I request mööre

>>11602290

this is indistinguishable from the disgusting mexican street food webms

>>11606689
>called sunfish
>they dont eat the sun
retarded animals desu

>>11607552

youre thinking of the wrong video

>>11606756

how do you even do this, is this necromancy?

>>11606862
weird mango chutney I think not ketchup

>>11608629
>Mexicans are like inmates
Really makes you think...

>>11608551
And its not even accepted wholly. Some people chill lobsters to put them to sleep. Some kill them quickly with a knife.

>>11608663

I fail to see why its a problem being ketchup. India uses spices in their tomato based curries. Its not as if chicken, spices and tomato doesn't go together.

>>11606185
>>11606200
>>11606113
what the fuck is this red shit they just pour in in the end, that must make everything soggy and taste like absolute shit

like jesus christ, do these guys have no tastebuds or have an iq of a bloody chimp?

>>11606207
>Eating Mac and cheese
>Concerned over health
Pick one and only one, subhuman.

>>11605453
this guy is surely the biggest loser in the world

>>11605886
>Puts chicken salad sandwich on an English muffin
>Hispanic

>>11608677
Lemon juice on watermelon is one of the simplest and best thing I have tasted

>>11607860
baste has been used for more than a year, faggot

>>11607440
Wakandans eat Indian food apparently? Thought they lived in an isolated hermit kingdom?

>>11608867
bigot

>>11607582
I mean... everybody knew basic math.

Greeks are famous for geometry.

Indians and Mesoamericans both came up with zero independently.

An Arab came up with the basic tenets of Algebra (lit. Al-Jabra)

After that, Europeans invented calculus, and basically took the ball and ran with it.

>>11608214
Is that Viper

>>11608922
Yes

>>11607487

>>11601043
this guy is supposed to learn me cook?

>>11608974
>Humans
Same goes for chinese

>>11607440
Jesus christ most of those ingredients are European I am pretty sure that to this day Africans have yet to create iron cooking surfaces on their own

>>11607176
Animals dont think that way, and certainly not crustaceans or eels. Your proposition would require them to be able to understand the concept of 'self' beyond just the deep seated instinctual level. While we ought to just not be shitty to other people and animals in general and I dont defend what happened in the videos you're speaking of they're not suffering the way you're thinking they are.

>>11602762
disgusting. reminds me of this old picture i had from india

>>11609025
Super power by 2020

>>11607440
what is wakanda? some tribe or something?

>>11606269

>>11607764
Some mighty fine reddit spacing there.

>>11603398
lol

>>11605886
>baking arepas
great job cesar

>>11605935
arepas are colombian anon

>>11606205
I bet his voice is deep and jolly and he calls everyone "my friend", based turkish ice cream man

>>11600573
dogs are the niggers of the animal kingdom

>>11606205
what i find funny is he knew he was being filmed and he wanted that napkin lady to get outta the way

>>11602961
i kinda find it nice, the aesthetic is cool

>>11604422
no, when your recipes are canned goods in a bowl ur not trolling anyone

>>11606200
>wh*te people are brilliant

>>11606229
no, dont save Tasty videos u zoomer. The steak is literally pan fried there is nothing to note

>>11607440
>not mosquitoe burgers
>not dirt cookies
>not cow piss
I call BS on that vid

>>11601536
Clears the chamber before removing the magazine. Poor form.

>>11608858
I think you are trying to trick me into electrocuting myself.

>>11601043
>has a cooking channel
>can even crack an egg

>>11608790
Clamato, so you get that wonderful taste of clam.

>>11601833
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT

>>11601831
He leaves through the eggsit.

>>11610470
HAHAHAHAHAHA
LOL XDXDXDXDXDX

Bread?