/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11594925
I always ask for a big mac without onions so i know they will have to prepare me a fresh one and i won't be getting one that is sitting there for minutes going stale

>>11595034
>sitting there for minutes going stale

>>11595065
>confirmed for never having macdonalds in his life or just being a huge pleb

anytime they displease me I just chuck my beverage on the ground

>>11595034
>implying they don't just remove the onions from a burger that's already been made

>>11594925
If its a bitch waitress I shove my fingers down my throat and throw up everywhere. Then in the confusion of people freaking out, when the poor cuck comes out with a mop and trashcan I put my hand on his shoulder and say in a firm authoritarian tone "No, she has to clean it up" while pointing at the bitch waitress. My main goal is just to fuck up the waitress' day, but often it comes with the bonus of getting my meal comped if not credit for a future meal since the manager would rather make the situation go away asap before checking the cameras.

Its great when the bitch starts panicking saying I put my fingers down my throat and nobody believes her, because really, how can anybody possibly be retarded enough to make themselves puke just because they hate women?

>>11594925
Tell them I need the exact amount of carbs in a dish that way I won't die when I give myself insulin. I won't die and I can eyeball things pretty well at this point, watching minimum wage people have to figure out math will definitely keep them on their toes.

I bring my senile grand mother with me every time I go to a new restaurant, she has a hearing disability so they will need to repeat themselves several times on top of explaining most of the dishes on the menu. They will also be forced to listen to her random stories or be perceived as disrespectful.
I also give her the money for her to pay so she can't be shamed for not tipping as she's old as fuck, she sometimes will tip like a quarter or something if she feels like it.

>Order an Arnold Palmer
>see if waitress tries to card me

>>11595170
If you like Arnold Palmers try a John Daly.

>>11595139
That's a great story that never happened, anon

>>11594925
I leave a healthy tip, at least 20%, so that the wait staff is always on their toes for me to return and provide nice tips for serving me.

always make sure to demand that your food is super hot, if it's not hot enough demand that they reheat it, even if it is hot, ask that they reheat it after you spend 15 minutes talking to your friends at the table. Loudly talk about the yelp reviews for the place at the table when waitstaff are around to let them know you are ready at any moment to leave a bad review, addres servers by name so they know you know their names.

>>11594925
Well, my wife has a severe nut allergy that's usually gets the chef or manager out at our table.

>>11595090
Places with tight profit margins do this.
I remember a sandwich shop I worked at muslims would order a sandwich with no bacon or pork. Thing was we had a few in the warmer pre made ready for the rush we'd just pick out the bacon.

>>11595418
weird, I always tip 0%, leaves more money for next times visit.

>>11594925
>drinking coca cola at a restaurant
all anglos should die

>>11595034
Fast food restaurants haven't pre-made sandwiches since the 80's. Each individual component sits in a warmer, and sandwich assembly takes about 10 seconds, so premade sandwiches would save zero time, and create waste. You're basically a superstitious ape.

Order a house salad with Caesar dressing. I guarantee you'll get a straight caesar salad every single time.

>>11595139
>how can anybody possibly be retarded enough to make themselves puke just because they hate women?
you're right that would be madness

>>11595651
If they did that to me, I'd murder someone at the spot

>>11595526
Subscribed.

>>11595526
Autistic and tendiepilled. Get a job.

>go to McDicks with dad
>dad places order
>"That will be $13.80, sir"
>Dad hands the cashier a $20 bill and a nickel
>Dad REACHES AROUND and covers up the part of the register that tells the wagecuck how much change to give and makes the wagecuck figure it out in his head.

>>11594925
It's not wise to annoy people handling your food.

>>11595911
So how much was it?

>>11595911
Six and a quarter

>>11595911
Your dad sounds like a flaming asshole and if I was behind him in line would grab his arm, whirl him around, grab his throat, get in his face, growl "you're holding up the line, scum bucket" and fling him aside like the the piece of trash he is.

>>11595925
He always gave the clerk a little extra to get a quarter back

>>11595938
oh yeah?

>>11595090
>macdonalds
are you a redneck from the south

>>11595693
you can get a real job too, then you would feel the same way about tips

>>11595034
Big Mac doesnt have onions

but i do the same unironically on Quarter Pounders. It always comes out fresher and I know they didn't just scrape the onions off because the onions go on top of the cheese and leave an imprint.
also i just dont like the slivered onions.

its just science.

>>11595938
>*grabs you by the dick* UM BACK THE FUCK OFF XIR

>>11596163
>Big Mac doesnt have onions
retard.

that trick where you put three $1 bills on the table and take away one each time they fuck up

>>11596206
do people unironically do this?

>>11596072
Based dad.
You always want a quarterback. You are a lucky son/daughter.
That cashier will never forget that ex change.

>>11595938
lol hope you didnt break your keyboard!

>>11595911
>>11597131
>carry small change around, in order to not get small change back

>>11595139
literally illegal unless the place provided proper training for every employee, which most don't cuz it's expensive. Usually only managers/custodial staff.

Confirmed bitter neet.

>>11595938
>pssh, nothin' personnel, kid

>>11595911
Immediately spin around and ask your faggot dad what the value for y is in an system with a forcing term of the Dirac function at 3 with y’’+2y’-3y defining the motion. Then I’ll laugh as his obese ass struggles to compute my query

every time i go to a restaurant i place 5 one dollar bills on the edge of the table. each time the server fucks up i take one away. when they notice and start doing good things i leave whatever singles remain and put two five dollar bills next to them as well. then at the end when i get the check, i thank my server, pick up my money, and leave without tipping

>>11597990
the real joke is someone who's aware of the dirac function has to work at a mcdonald's

>>11598196

>>11598196
I worked in fast food in high school, and now that I'm in college looking down on my previous customers who believed they were better than me at the time when in reality they were miserable failures living in the middle of nowhere and eating shitty fast food breakfast sandwiches and drinking the crap coffee I prepared while driving to their dead end job. It gives me just a tiny bit of satisfaction from the stress that job put me through. Everyday I use that job as a reason not to be an idiot and flunk my classes

>>11598220
>unemployed math nerd looks down on everyone

>>11598230
Heh, you wish.
>Be a math PhD
>Any job I want
>300k starting

>>11597242
the thing you said has nothing to do with this

>>11598501
haha nice try math dude. More like

> Be math PhD
> 9+ years of post-secondary education
> Can't get a job in academia even though top of class because of insane competition
> gets 60k starting doing entry level computer science work
> Commits suicide 6 months later realizing he's wasted half a decade studying something no one cares about.

>>11598617
>dirac function
>>11598220

fucking hell math kids are trash and should be aborted on sight

>>11598619
It's not a function dimwit, it's a measure on the Borel sigma algebra on the real line.

>>11598617
Hey it's okay math is pretty interesting. But as a BA in pure I can say I don't want a PhD in math.

bump

>>11598617
>cares what others think
Nice try, liberal arts major.