/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>show up with a box of Crackers and cheese
Wow, OP. You're pretty generous for bringing a whole feast with you.

>>11517517
Wow, that’s really going to feed a lot of people, anon!

Went to the gf's grandma's house, hid in the living room all day, and played OSRS on my phone.

I made some really strong punch and everyone got drunk. Surprisingly nobody screamed at eachother, though my grandma confessed that she thought movie theaters were still segregated

>>11517551
Your grandma is based and redpilled

>>11517517
>show up with a box of crackers and cheese
tryna feed an entire army. eh, anon?

>went to sister and BIL's place
>mom chopped the head off of pic related
>already hangry young nephew got pissed
>everyone else laughed

>>11517517
If you're going to show up with cheese and a box of crackers and catch shit over it, you should try to bring a few different kinds. Different types of milks, hard cheese, soft cheese, etc. Maybe bring a sliced baguette or crostini. Ask your cheese person what they pair well with

>>11517517
>arrival times were confused
>three people brought cranberry sauce
>zero bread rolls
>screaming match between aunts and mom ensues bc poor planning
>notice cousin is coming of age nicely
>try to hit on her and get called out by own dad
>embarrassed as fuck but she’s cool and invites me to her room later
>she randomly grabs my junk through my trousers and insta diamonds
>about three minutes later we are called down for dinner
>awkwardly sit and try to not make eye contact with her all meal
>someone must have gone and gotten bread rolls
>no chance to go back to her room together
>get home and cum in an instant of fapping
>bring on Christmas!

>>11518330
>ask your cheese person
God damn fucking millennials

>>11518330
You're fucking gay.

>>11518330
>ask your cheese person
I'm my own goddamn cheese person you motherfucker

>>11517517
>bringing up politics at a family meal

I fucking hate zoomers.

>>11517517
>both my gf and I live far away from our families and also hate them
>made pumpkin pie at home
>went to Denny's for dinner
>got drunk all day
>no family to ruin the party mood

>>11518672
Fat mood!

Now that's a night.

>>11518296
>BIL
Who the fuck spells Bill with one L

>>11517517
I love crackers and cheese
Like plain ass old cheddar and triscuits or ritz or club crackers , I will literally eat a fucking box at once

>>11519179
BIL = brother-in-law

>>11517517
drank a lot of vodka and washed it down with milk while also making cinnamon buns
felt like i was gonna puke like 4 hours later, couldnt, went to bed, woke up at 5am, and puked my guts out

spent today sick but luckily my gf came over and took care of me. having her being so caring and motherly never made me want to fuck her so hard in my life, but i was sick and shitting myself so i couldnt

overall it was a pretty good day since she was here to make me feel better. thanks tori

>>11519239
>having her being so caring and motherly never made me want to fuck her so hard in my life
This is uncanny. I've told girls in the past not to dote over me when I have a cold unless they're prepared to give me a quick handie.

>>11518506
based posr

bump

>>11518506
>cousin incest

>>11518506
How old are you and how old is your cousin? This is crucial info you shouldn't withhold from us!

>>11517517
>uncle looks at me when i get to the kitchen and shouts out “WOOOOW! ANON BROUGHT A WHOLE FEAST WITH HIM” sarcastically
Showed up with the velveeta/ritz cracker combo again did you anon?

>day before Thanksgiving
>went to a hockey game with my sister and her boyfriend
>he got drunk and started yelling at her
>normally I leave them to their business, but on the walk back to the car he started talking down to her really harshly and my wife started looking at me to do something
>welp, here we go
>shove him, he falls down
>start autistic rant, flip the retarded cap he always wears off of his head
>"talk like that to her again and I'll kick you untill you're fucking unconscious" (didn't sound as menacing as I thought it would)
>realize that I overreacted and have compromised our ability to get home as a group
>awkward interactions with him and my sister all throughout Thanksgiving day

I kind of want to give up on people outside of my immediate family, my wife and kids are all that matter.

>>11520556
Based

my parents took the rest of my siblings and went to their vacation home to have a lavish catered thanksgiving. I was not invited.

>>11520556
Don't talk to my sister like that ever again RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>11517517
Two things of note
1:
>Grandmother absolutely determined that all white turkey meat is dry regardless of how cooked.
>Was dumbfounded when my mother (known incredible cook) put out tender moist turkey.
2:
>Long time childhood friend I don't see much anymore comes over. We rarely converse anymore due to his worsened bi-polar disorder and my worsening reclusive behavior.
>We have a few beers after dinner
>Like 5 beers in he is trashed
>Farting and laughing like some sort of supervillain
>Passes out
>Wakes up and leaves

>>11520556
>awkward

>>11520556
No you did right Anon. Never let sombody direspect your family like that. Even the dumb members.

i had a very uneventful thanksgiving
>live about an hour away from parents house with gf
>drive down to parents house for thanksgiving
>already completely wasted
>walk in, planned to watch football with dad, so showed up early
>no one there yet, moms cooking, dad and i talking outside
>drink more
>mom eventually comes out and asks how i am doing
>blacked out at this point

apparently, i burst in to tears as soon as she asked me how i was, and i went upstairs to my old bedroom and slept through everything. i then left after everyone ate dinner without saying a word to anyone.
it was probably the shittiest thanksgiving i have ever had. i didn't even get to eat any thanksgiving food.

>>11521353
You sound like an incredibly unbearable human. Consider committing sodoku

>>11519239
Really makes my heart melt.

>>11521353
Pathetic

>>11520502
We are not first or even second cousins so the beauty of my new found desire to take her virginity is that it’s not even illegal
>>11520517
Well it’s not illegal from an incest point of view but this area is pretty black and white.
I doubt I’d get in much trouble though bc I’m only 2 and a bit years older and she’ll be 15 next year.

Any family member who brings up polictics ay my table will have their food on their lap.

>>11521353
Based

>>11521353
i dont get it, why did u cry?

>>11521995
MODS

>>11522041
I’m not entirely sure as I was blacked out at the time. Likely because I’m not very too happy of a person. I know it’s pathetic. Definitely nothing I would have done sober. I wish I could take it back. There’s always next year.

>>11522118
You rang?

>>11517546
You can't hide in a living room, it's a room in which all household members live.

>>11518330
Dude OP is saying he brought over a box of cheez-its, wtf do you think a box of crackers and cheese is?

>>11521353
lol what a dingus

>>11521995
On FB this fat (but not disgusting) super depressed girl got into a relationship with her white trash domestic violence #mentoo male first cousin that lasted a year. I was able to piece together what happened by reading enough of her posts:
>meet-up for family reunion in Iowa
>talk about how they plan on boozing it up
>must have gotten drunk together and fucked
>she lives in Minnesota and visits him a few weeks later
>they become FB official a few months later
>she later posts on FB about how debt collectors looking for him thought she was his wife because she shared the same last name
>later she gets into helping him publish his own books and edits his books, one of which being titled #mentoo that excuses his domestic violence conviction
>he looks like a literal hillbilly, while she's clearly raised in a city and has a college degree

They broke up after about eight months, and now she refers to that relationship as "toxic."

>>11522319
underage

>>11517517
>family sitting down for dinner
>our neighbors just got divorced, hear that the dad is picking up the kids for the holiday
>ex wife who still lives there eating alone
>learn this when talking to her while getting mail
>she’s new to the area
>platinum blonde
>/fit/ as fuck
>qt Russian accent
>feel bad so I invite her over for dinner
>she excitedly says yes
>brings over this delicious turkey and potato dish
>chat with her a lot of the night
>used to be a small-time actress, getting extra roles and things like that
>starts getting a little drunk
>”anon Inplayed a stripper once you know”
>touches my thigh with her hand
>goes home a little tipsy but leaves me a note with her number

What do I do boys? Not looking for a gf and she’s definitely a little crazy, but I really want to bang this cute Russian milf.

>>11522804
>be 19
>visit 35 yr old step brother in california
>hang out with him in sacramento
>he takes me over to his friend's house, hang out with the friend and him and the friend's wife
>get super drunk and flirt with the wife all night
>eventually black out and apparently piss in their laundry basket and wake up the next day at stepbrother's apartment
this wasn't the best night for me

>>11522881
Please tell me no clothes were in the basket.
I’ve seen my mother neck a cat for that.

>>11521353
Bet they didn't miss ya.

>>11523113
correct! i don't' think they missed me at all. no texts or calls as far as concern goes. honestly feels a bit good. my family is a bit terrible, (look how i turned out).

>>11520971
>Grandmother absolutely determined that all white turkey meat is dry regardless of how cooked
my mother-in-law came to visit and cooked the turkey
mfw even the legs were dry

>>11517517
>imouto asks mom and stepdad what kind of furries they'd be

>>11517517
>cracking wise immediately
Based uncle

>>11521353
Stop drinking you are an alcoholic.
Thanksgivings will get much much worse if you don't.

t. recovered severe alkie

>>11522967
No clothes in the basket, thankfully.

>>11523284
this. alcoholism isn't something to joke about, my ex wife is an alcoholic and it's just rarely good for anyone around you. if you're having problems with it, turn to another substance until you find one that doesn't give you problems with others. weed can be a good alternative to drinking.

>>11518664
Can you also be my cheese person?

>>11518509
Fine. Cheese scientist.

>>11522319
You're not a mod. Go fucking kill yourself faggot. There are no mods on /ck/.

>>11523724
by jove, it's true! Look at the catalog, not a mod in sight!

>>11523480
DUUUDEEE WEEED LMAO XD

>>11523183
I'm suhsorry Anon :(

>>11521995
So you're at most 17? Good to know.
MODS!

>>11523480
>if you're an alcoholic just do heroin instead, alcohol will be very far down the list of problems then

>>11524693
Fact is alcohol kills more people than ALL OTHER DRUGS COMBINED.

also, weed:heroin is a strawman

Nothing too bad happened this Thanksgiving, and i actually had a good time.
>Worked in the morning
>After work headed to one cousin's house to wish them all a happy Thanksgiving
>after Mother finished food we took it to my cousin's house across town
>Started dinner at 7
>cousin and i decided to drink a lot of sangria that my cousin (the host) had made
>a lot stronger than either of us expected
>by the end if the night she was super tipsy and stumbling over herself
>i had a good buzz but didn't drink too much more
>when my mom left she made a comment about how we would make a good couple
>both my sister and i called her out for how fucking creepy and weird the comment was
>eventually cousin left and i decided to get a ride home from another cousin as i was still tired and tipsy
>forgot all the leftovers i had packed for myself before i left
Overall a good night. I'm still fucking pissed i forgot the leftovers. All we had was a little bit of turkey and stuffing when i woke up the next morning and was greatly dissapointed

>>11520694
Why?

I had a nice thanksgiving with my family and a couple of neighbors/family friends. Then I went to hang out with one of best friends from high school friend and see his new apartment. We played his switch and drank a bit. Pretty fun thanksgiving.

>>11519212
>he doesn't know

>>11524611
lol. the overall day wasn’t ruined. just a out everyone said the food was good or at least pretended to enjoy it. i filled up on snacks in preparation and drank a half a bottle of Springbank 15 w my wife’s step-father. no fucks were given

>>11525505
so
you gonna bang your cousin?

>>11525505
maybe she could make up for that creepy comment by pleasuring you sexually

>>11525505
What a weird thing for your mom to say, what the actual fuck? Is she insinuating you should commit incest?

>>11517551
You mean they aren't? I guess it depends on where you live. In Baltimore there are definitely movie theaters that only black people go to, and movie theaters that only white people (and wealthy blacks) go to. No one really "enforces" the segregation, you just don't go to a black theater as a white person unless you want to feel really uncomfortable the entire time. There are also plenty of theaters in between where anyone can go and it's a mix of all races, but "white theaters" and "black theaters" are definitely still a thing in some places.

>>11525664
No
>>11525675
Fuck no
>>11525680
I don't think so. I think she just kinda wanted to comment on how we had good chemistry, at least i hope so. It just came out super fucking creepy.

>>11525680
She may be from the south as cousin fucking is considered pefectly normal down here and even sister fucking is often just winked at and ignored. For all it's faults, there are still some good things about the south ;)

>>11525751
Do step siblings count?

>>11525733
You should fuck your mother to teach her a lesson about making incestuous comments.

>>11525751
She's not from the south, my mother is just weird. I think my cousin is pretty attractive (and she just turned 18), but I'd never make a move. That's just a little too far past the line I'm willing to cross.

>>11525773
Of course they don't. There's no blood relation. Hell, even with first cousins there is a ridiculously low probability that it would have a negative impact on any child born of the coupling, which is the exact reason incest is societally frowned upon. That's why it happens so commonly in the South; the lack of social stigma. If you're not raised to believe fucking your sister is disgusting and wrong, then it's almost a guarantee that it's going to happen if you spend your formative years in such close proximity to a female without being discouraged from the natural experimentation and exploration of youth

>everyone has gfs on /ck/ now
thanks for reminding me why this place has gone to shit you bunch of fucking normies

>>11526061
What's wrong anon. Envious because you're too much of an autist to hold a stable relationship? What's it like spending Thanksgiving alone?

>>11526083
>anime on the food and cooking board

>>11526095
no no anon you be careful
this is now a board for pretend-autists who financially support hambeasts
(((they))) are our new overlords now
4channel is theirs

>>11526095
>food and cooking board
>on the japanese animation forum

>worked 8 hours at my job and got time and a half pay
>went to a friends house for 5 minutes to pick up mail and some food his family made for me
>went home and studied and slept
god i love not being near my family

>>11527722
bermpin based thread for based dubble dubs

>>11522325
The kitchen and dining rooms are the front of the house/main rooms. Living room is in the back.

Everyone has friends/gf
What the FUCK

>>11519246
>This is uncanny.
you're actually the uncanny faggot here.
motherly and caring does not mean like a literal mommy and her toddler.

>>11522315
>>11521353
>i'm not too happy
>i have a gf
yea she's going ot leave you real soon you insufferable MONG

>>11517551
dude they kind of are. its not like there's not black people at every theater, but...its not a lot, and then you have certain theaters that are like all black people.

My family went to one once to see jurassic park it was the last place with tickets. My mom is like "why is everyone wearing hair-nets" my dad just said they were du-rags but we got lice lmao.

>>11518506
dog you are lost /b/ is that way w/ the incest lmao

>>11517546
i hate little millenial turds like you that cant even into politeness when a guest at others homes.

>>11525731
>>11528704
man you rural retards are definately that. retarded
certain communities will have a concentration of one race, this is inevitable. so if a movie theatre is near that place it will have prices and atmospheres reflecting that culture.

it's not that they can't go to other movie theatres, it's that there's no reaosn to go outside their community

i used to go to a jewish movie theatre that was really cheap, it was always empty unless there were jews in it. but it was in a jewish neighborhood, why would i expect niggers in it?

>>11520517
12

>visit my momma who's all alone
>help her with the stuffing
>say grace
>neither of us can carve a turkey
>stuffing is fantastic
>share some apple juice
>starts talking about her ex husband and trump so I tune out for ~40 minutes
>pumpkin pie time
>she didn't put any sugar in the whipped cream and it tastes like floor cleaner
>go home with a tub of extra stuffing and a big ol' drumstick

I love my mom.
Thanks for reading my blog.

>>11518506
>insta diamonds
you just took me back to 2010 /b/

>>11528724
>Rural
Top kek. I live in a major city, you dumb fuck. The "black" movie theaters are called black theaters by literally everyone here, especially the black people. If you're white and go there, you're going to have an unpleasant time. The main "black theater" is in a neighborhood where you can't even have food delivered after dark, and white people just aren't welcome there. Likewise, there are neighborhoods very nearby where if you're black, you'll have the cops called on you because clearly you're there for no other reason than to rob someone, and they have a movie theater as well. As I said in my comment, it's not a law or anything that's being enforced to segregate the theaters, it's just how shit is here. The fact that you're unaware that this happens, then call someone rural when they talk about it tells me your idea of "City Life" is Portland, OR

>>11530516
t. Grand Wizard of the Memphis, TN chapter of the KKK

>>11525812
are you latin american/hispanic by any chance?

>>11528670
i dont have either and I am genuinely happy with my life.

>>11530877
t. Faggot who has never had the chance to relax around blacks.

>>11521196
Eh... depends on if they deserved it. My sister... jesus christ... I feel bad for her husband. He doesn't ask for much, just food on the table and clean house, the kid gets to school. And she fucks with him hard core until he can't take it anymore. I mean, says the absolute meanest shit. She's the world champ of that.

Next thing you its a screaming fight and they are threatening to kill each other.

I've gotten inbetween enough times to know its their business now, not mine. She threatened to press charges one time after i beat the fuck out of him. After he hit me first. Never again. Said she'd lie and say I hit him first.

>>11531578
i am sorry you have to deal with this in your life anon.

>>11528724
Fun fact: it's still called segregation even if it's not enforced by law or official policy.

>>11531587
Yeah, I'm sorry too. Oh well, I'm far enough away from them that its not my problem. Still half expect to get a call that one or both of them are dead. Worry about my niece... I remember our last thanks giving together was me her husband and a few family friends drinking and watching movies after food was done, she came into the living room specifically to talk shit and I got so pissed off during the argument that ensued that i threw my glasses across the room, didn't find them till Christmas, and ended up laying down on the side walk out front because i didn't want to drive home. Luckily it didnt get too cold in florida that year.

>>11531578
>I mean, says the absolute meanest shit. She's the world champ of that.
Real men would have already ditched the relationship. I honestly can't fault women all THAT much when the guy fucking deserves it by sticking around. Like Anfisa with Jorge, season 4 of 90 Day Fiance (on Hulu right now).

>>11531562
>If you're white and go there, you're going to have an unpleasant time. The main "black theater" is in a neighborhood where you can't even have food delivered after dark, and white people just aren't welcome there. Likewise, there are neighborhoods very nearby where if you're black, you'll have the cops called on you because clearly you're there for no other reason than to rob someone, and they have a movie theater as well.
Sounds like you're very comfortable around blacks, tell us your special secrets, lol! I have a feeling if you ever saw a black irl, you're mouth would gape like the child character in Flannery O'Connor's, "The Artificial Nigger."