/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>bunch of negative reviews
>owner replies to all of them, doing damage control

>decide to check out new restaurant in unfamiliar area
>it's in a shopping mall

>>11470244
Whats wrong with that? Are you afraid of televisions? Or is getting a craft beer for the same price you get a shitty domestic at a restaraunt too much for you to handle with your meal?

>>11470371
probs just wants to stay clear of the riffraff. guys with MMA-related clothes, etc.

>>11470393
This.

>>11470371
>>11470393
>>11470448
It’s actually because im gay in all seriousness. Homophobia is very casual and commonplace at sports bars

>this looks good
>it's a gay bar

>>11470457
Get over yourself. If you’re not wearing a see-through mesh top and short shorts no one gives a shit.

>food looks amazing online
>in actuality it looks like shit
>tastes alright one bite in
>disgustingly unfinishable part way through
>price is listed as $7.99
>bill comes to $14.36 with the coffee I never ordered or received
>tip included

>decide to check out a new bar that's always empty, even on saturdays
>bars half empty, friday night at 9 PM
>get the fried chicken sandwich
>it's delicious
>great beer specials
>finishing up, about to compliment to the waitress how good everything was
>"so umm haha why are you at a bar by yourself?"

what the fuck did you just say to me you fucking dumb thot? would you rather i not be here and your only table for the night didnt tip you? oh no? too bad because now i'm not tipping you anyway you fucking retard. and i dont care if she was coming onto me because she was a fat whale and sounded condescending. fuck that place i cant wait till it shuts down and that thot is unemployed

>>11470483
Ummm, i dont give a shit what you assholes think, im NOT dealing with hearing all the heterosexist comments, im not some bitch that backs down, ill fucking legit confront assholes that talk shit about gays and the community. I wear Gucci anyways

>actually believing positive yelp reviews are real

People only review shit when they are pissed. You're a real life faggot if you use that site for anything.

>>11470457
Have you tried not being incredibly flamboyantly homosexual? Just act like a normal man, which I assume you can do, and ignore the homophobia.

>>11470244
>browsing yelp
>see an interesting new restaurant
>good reviews, photos show a clean and relaxed atmosphere, menu prices are more than affordable, place is nearby
>go there one day
>they have a no singles policy

>>11470523
only kinoplex has this policy

>>11470523
Was the place busy? Seems pretty shitty to refuse someone for being alone.

>>11470515
>im not some bitch that backs down
hm yeah.. but you wont even go inside lmao

>find a good restaurant on yelp
>food looks good
>get there
>waitress has tattoo sleave
>redflag 1
> I'll need to wash hands before eating where is your restrooms
>see pic related
>redflag 2
walk out.

>>11470457
Be honest and admit you're afraid you'll pop a stiffy watching those sweat gleaming man torsos on the mma screen and you'll be so shooken up you'll have to look away but its the Green Bay Packers at the Dallass Cowboys and all you see is a sea of tight gold and silver pants only barely containing the powerful buttocks of 22 peak specimens so you get so flustered you squeak "Jesus christ" and spill your Angry Orchard all over your pants and everyone looks down and sees you shame covered in wet cider so you leave 5 bucks on the table say "y-you too" to nobody in particular because nobody said anything and then stumble crouched over out of the bar with years streaming down your cheeks totally ruining the light lining of mascara you spent 20 minutes getting just right.

>>11470502
Did you leave a tip? Be honest.

>>11470555
>spill your Angry Orchard all over your pants
Lost it

>>11470502
She was hitting on you autist.

>>11470565
>Did you leave a tip?
i walked to the bartender and gave him $2 for my beers. i didnt tip the waitress.

>>11470520
is the fact that your post is flamboyantly homosexual irony or hypocrisy?

>>11470457
Lol fag kys

>>11470567
did you not read what i said?
>and i dont care if she was coming onto me because she was a fat whale and sounded condescending

i dont want a fatty to hit on me.

>>11470579
Your loss fat girls suck dick like theres a whopper stuck in the malt shake straw. You don't have to marry the bartender that hits on you.

>>11470529
Pwned

>>11470608
Based and human pilled. I work with a flamboyantly gay man who you would never know was gay if you saw him at work and weren't friends with him on facebook and saw him at the leather parade.

>>11470608
Never has a truer image existed.

>>11470619
>flamboyantly gay man who you would never know was gay
I don't think you know what flamboyant means

>>11470619
Key and peele have a really good skit about this very same topic

>>11470523
this is a joke, right?

>>11470608
kek

>>11470631
It definitely doesn't mean you can't understand time and place

>>11470529
I think they meant that they'd rather avoid conflict, but if the situation called for it they'd have to speak up for themselves.

>>11470515
>can't handle sports bar level homophobia, but comes to 4chan where saying "faggot" is like breathing air

>>11470708
4chan is a safe space that will never go beyond just words.

>>11470393
What the fuck. No one's going to bother you unless you act like an asshole yourself. If you wear a shirt of the team they hate or something, they might make a joke but other than that, what's the problem?

>>11470834
>No one's going to bother you
gay bashing is a fun sport in flyoverland.

>>11470814
If you aren't flamboyant then there's no chance the casually homophobic comments you hear at the bar could possibly lead to violence either.

>>11470854
just admit that you don't like sports bars because they're for manly men and you're too fruity. it's not because they would beat you to death. it's because you aren't used to being around men you can't fuck

Sports bars are not comfy. Nevermind the "homophobia" we just can’t handle loud noises like that.

I don’t really share the OP’s pain because it’s rare that I’m in the mood for the kind of food being served at a sports bar and the few times I am I can just get it to go

>>11470870
no, i'm a gay basher
Just letting people know how fun it is.

kys fag

>>11470371
>>11470393
>>11470448
>>11470483
>>11470520
>>11470529
>>11470555
>>11470573
>>11470608
>>11470619
>>11470623
>>11470631
>>11470686
>>11470693
>>11470708
>>11470814
>>11470854
>>11470859
>>11470870
>>11471078
>>11471092
>>11471095
btw im not actually gay in case that matters

>>11470550
whats the problem man

(((yelp)))

>>11471151
apparently you are the problem.
Now be part of the solution.

>>11471105
it actually doesn't, you faggot

>>11471105
you're still a faggot you lalahomoman

>>11471181
if the food good its good idk man

>>11471181
xD

>>11471255
I wouldn't know, too many red flags before ordering.

>>11471261
politics dont influence my apetite, if they influence yours im sorry

>>11470550
holy fuck how stupid are you? have you never heard of a unisex bathroom? the doors have locks you fucking mong it's for one person.

>>11471271
visceral disgust does influence my appetite.

>>11471276
>the doors have locks you fucking mong it's for one person.
Except when it isn't. You basement dwelling tard.

>>11471282
>when you can't eat somewhere because of tattoos and a unisex bathroom

>>11471105
>jokes on them i was just pretending
can smell the cum on your breath from here.

>>11470854
>gay bashing is a fun sport in flyoverland
Er, you know what fucking year it is right? It hardly matters where you are, people just don't give much of a shit about gays anymore as long as you aren't being a flaming fairy and trying to take home straight guys

>>11471326
>Er, you know what fucking year it is right?
printf("It's %s" &CURRENT_YEAR);

Fuck off npc.

>>11471334
yeah this board really isnt for you man

>>11470285
>Owner tries to damage control by "apologizing" to customers.
>Even hams it up and claims to give them free shit to try to sell his business to others viewing Yelp

>>11471349
once again fuck off back where you came from.

>>11471326
>Er
OOF YIKES LMAO SWEATY...

>>11471334
You are trying way too hard to be a meme guy

>>11470596
I fucking kek'd

>>11471357
could say the same to you

>>11471425
good one, slick

>>11471357
>>11471425
>two faggots NO Uing endlessly
Get a room

>>11471435
>He know old memes
>still too slow
Been here all summer have ya?

>>11471440
Yes

>>11471349
You can't hate faggots on this board?
Why not?

>>11471524
of course you can, I do because their catty little bitches that love drama and ruin shit just because no one is giving them attention, they're worse than women for fuck's sake

>>11471524
>>11471601
>food and cooking
>time to hate gay people!

>>11471638
seems like a perfect opportunity considering it draws them in like fags to shit covered dicks

>>11471638
welcome to 4chan broskie

>>11470285
>click on owner's facebook
>it's loaded with furry porn

>>11471655
>click on restaurants unsecure security webcam
>chef is jerking off in the kitchen

>>11471672
>kitchen
It's clearly his office

>>11471672
>very helpful 13 votes
lmao

>>11471683
His office is in the kitchen.

>>11470596
Based and thiccpilled

>>11470358
Fuck. I was in Chiner with my GF and she was in charge of the planning. She kept picking places in malls. I don't want to be in some food court on my vacation. Especially not a Chinese food court

>>11471655
link plox

>>11472817
>plox
fuck off furfag scum

>>11472843
this is strictly food related
I like eggplants

>>11472847

>>11470550
so it's for women, men, men with boners, and people sitting in beanbag chairs?

>>11470457
>Homophobia is very casual and commonplace at sports bars
I think you'll find there is no place gayer than a sportbar

>>11471672
>when you order a side of fresh mozzarella

>>11471672

I remember that day on/b/. An anon lived nearby and live streamed himself driving to jerking Joe's pizzeria and gave him a picture of the screenshot. Anons kept calling the place non stop, and eventually jerking Joe covered the camera up.

>>11470834
>Being okay with being around a bunch of screaming chimps

>absolutely seething one star review about how bad the waitress was
>reviewer literally brought 5 young kids and made them order themselves, two wheel chairs, dietary restrictions and a service animal
>”food was amazing though”

You can’t make this shit up

yelp floats more negative reviews to the top of the page if you don't buy advertising with them. stop using this website desu

>>11472867
You’re right, but what makes it insufferable is the seething denial of how gay everyone there actually is

>>11471672
Mad lad

>New restaurant opens
>Half the reviews are one star saying its the worst shit ever
>Half are 5 stars claiming its wonderful and the 1 stars are just elitists or lying

Not sure who to trust for reviews anymore

>>11470244
>their food looks good
>it's a sports bar
So this is a, "things that never happened" thread?