/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11466170
>owning teflon pots

>ask gf to stud an onion with cloves for a bechamel we're going to make
>she's trying to shove garlic cloves into it

>>11466187
>not owning teflon
Wanna know how I k ow you are single?

>>11466170
You brought this on yourself by having teflon and letting anyone in your kitchen

>>11466224
>single

no just my fat ass girlfriend wont cook so i use cast iron and stainless only

>>11466170
I swear this thread just proves the downfall of western civilization is imminent.

>>11466218
>tell gf to check if water is boiling
>"Ouch.... yes."

>>11466224
Teflon is poisonous dude. Enjoy your cancer.

>>11466255
Kek

>>11466231
>not creating elaborate pulley system to get your fat gf into the kitchen
>not teaching her to cook food by her sitting on everything to squash the germs to death

>>11466262
Bros science

>>11466300
Do you even lift? What’s your soy consumption like?

>>11466187
This

Ishyddt op

>>11466298
Huh?

>mom wants to make chocolate from scratch
>shes half a box of crayons from a full set
>but its literally butter sugar and cocoa powder so whatever
>she makes chocolate
>it wont set
>i taste it
>wtf.jpg disgusting sour chocolate
>what did you put in this mom
>”i followed the recipe anon!”
>what. Did. You. Do.
>”oh well the recipe said to use /either/ coconut oil or butter, so i put both!

I expected entirely too much out of her.

>>11466170
>teflon
>pot

>>11466170
>wake up to screaming
>girlfriend started grease fire
>puts it in the sink
>NO
>turns on water
>fuck
>grab fire extinguisher to actually put out fire
>sink full of fire extinguisher gunk
>”are you alright?”
>incoherentsobbing.mp3

>>11466262
everything is poisonous. Even water is poisonous

>>11467868
Huh?

i get teflon pans but pots?

>pan frying some chicken
>have to use the bathroom
>tell dumbass gf to keep an eye on it and flip it in a minute
>get back from the bathroom
>she's standing at least 3-4 feet from the pan
>reaching in with tongs
>scared the oil is going to splatter
>picks up the chicken with the tongs and drops it
>oil splatters
>fire
>she runs to the sink to fill a cup with water
>NOOOOOOO
>straight tackle her to stop her from pouring the water
>put out the fire
Why are women so incompetent?

>>11468956
Because instagram has fried their brain

>>11466170
>prepare meat and side dish
>tell gf to bake bread, make a dessert, and a salad
>we both enjoy a nice meal as usual

Stop dating dumb roasties.

>>11468908
You're not funny

>>11469002
Huh?

My gf didn't know that meatloaf was made of meat..

>>11469068
Do you live in the midwest or something?

>>11469068

>>11469110
Nah. Maryland. She's not even from the dumb part of Maryland like I am.

>sister wants to make a cheesecake
>give her an easy recipe
>it ends up looking like a sticky fondue
>what the fuck did you do.jpg
>I didn't want to go shopping so I melted the cheddar in the sour cream instead of using cream cheese

She's not even that dumb usually, but she's just full retard in the kitchen

>>11466218
Okay I've been cooking for over a decade, have made numerous bechamel numerous times and I don't know what "stud an onion" means

please assist

>>11466170
>roommate asks to borrow my pan
>new pan
>finishes cooking, time to wash
>puts it in cold water
>hot pan
>cold water

reeeeeeeeeeee

but it seems like most people don't know about tempering pans so I couldn't be too too mad, ignorance is a plague

>>11466170
>swiss friend makes dinner
>burnt rice that is somehow undercooked
>ask how he cooked it
>high heat, uncovered, keeps adding water to it
>insists that this is the right way to cook rice and that's how he always does it

>>11469594
>have made bechamel numerous times
is how it should've read, please forgive me I am daft sometimes

>>11466218
you really expect a random person to know what that is? I've studded an onion only a handful of times in my life so I don't expect someone who doesn't really cook much at all to know

>>11466170
That's why I exclusively started dating men, women are terrible at everything.

>>11466170
Holy shit did you beat her?
You have to beat them or they won't learn properly

>>11469594
you pin cloves to an onion usually with bay
>>11469656

>>11469656
thank you for the picture, I understand now.

was the person who asked that anon

This thread makes me feel better about being retarded, knowing I will never be THAT retarded.

>>11466170
>sorry chef ramses told me to do that

>>11469521

>>11469656
I usually make slices into the onion and slice the bay leaves in. They stay in place and the onion wont fall apart. But that works too I suppose.