/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Don't. Just give in

>>11415348
Never had it. Wish you a safe and speedy recovery OP.

drink lots of water
stay near a toilet
bring a good book

>>11415348
Do you have any idea how serious that is? You can't. You're going to die.

You've gotta literally piss and shit it all out of your system. Drink lots of drinks with sodium in it, like Gatorade, pedialite, powerade or coconut water. Try to sleep/stay still so your body can focus all it's energy on getting this shit out of your system.

Fucking hurts, man. God serious stomach-cramping food poisoning from a Sam's club pizza slice once and I swear to god I thought I was dying. You just gotta hang in there and keep hydrated. The storm will pass in time. If it persists for more than a day or two, get your ass to a doctor. This ain't something to play around with for longer than that.

>>11415348
Treat yourself to some Skyline Chili.

>>11415348
I recognize that picture. Filthy boy you

apples and gatorade

>>11415843
Don't lewd christopher robin...


Without giving up the sauce

>>11415348
Just drink enough alcohol to poison the poison. If you manage to wake up the next day then you've succeeded.

Wipe gently.

>>11415914
[Okashi Tai (Kin no Tamamushi)] Christopher Robin to Himitsu no Mori (Winnie the Pooh)

>>11415348
Do not under any circumstances get dehydrated. There is a point of no return where you cannot restore electrolyte balance. I had a severe case 13 years ago that lasted two weeks. I managed to get an IV before my kidneys shut down.

>>11416008
that was weird as hell but super hot. thanks fampie

>>11416008
Welp. So much for no fap november.

>>11416008
What the fuck
>>11416011
Also this Anon has some good advice.
Almost got a kidney stone from not drinking enough water before, during and after food poisoning.

>>11415929
OP here.
I’m fucking dead, asshole.

>>11415348

Get some lite salt and drink as much water as you can. Make sure you drink water with lite salt in it fairly regularly (like after every 5th trip to the bathroom.)

>>11415348
Depending how severe it is, just get someone to take you to the hospital and get an IV drip. I was up 28 hours straight just vomiting and shitting constantly while not being able to drink much of anything so I just got a cab to the hospital and passed out for a couple hours when the IV started

>>11416008
What the fuck was that?!

>>11418732
Sex

>>11418732
Your childhood being raped by the internet, again.

>>11416008
Ya'll need Jesus.

Once contracted food poisoning from a local Mexican place.
>After eating it, I had an appointment about 30 minutes away and, about ten minutes in, realized I definitely had to shit.
>Figured, hey, no biggie, I’ll figure this out at the office.
>ten minutes later I’m struggling but it’s still a bit removed. Like, I realize that it’s a problem but I haven’t really grasped the severity of the situation
>Five minutes later I’m rolling through stop signs, sweating and stomping my feet
>pull into the parking lot at 400 mph and realize I have two options: shit in the car or try to walk inside, which will probably result in me shitting my pants
>before I can make up my mind my body makes it for me and, as my car coasts through the parking lot, I rip down my pants and shove a coffee mug up to my butthole
>get it nearly ALL in the mug and I frantically steer the car into a parking space with a steaming cup of shit in my hand
>cancel my appointment, throw the mug in the dumpster, throw my underpants in the dumpster, wash shit off my hands at a nearby Subway
>drive home and spend the day on the toilet
DONT FUCK AROUND OP. It’s serious business

>>11415348
Shat my guts out and then vomited every where

I haven't eaten at taco bell in 10 years since I got food poisoning there

try doing that. taco bell sucks

>>11420090
I got awful fucking food poisoning from a local Wendys once, and I still eat there.

>>11415348
Powerade or Gatorade, or pedialyte, since dehydration is the biggest concern

>>11415348
Stop eating badly cooked food

>>11421222
I was hungry

>>11415348
>>11415843
>>11415914
>>11416008
Bruh

>>11416126
>>11416851

/trv/ here.

I've been food poisoned in every way possible all over the world, and can share my hard learned secrets.

1. Drink lots of water, it makes the diorhea worse but gets the whole thing over faster
2. Eat only slow digesting foods like rice, bread and whole grains. Forget about a balanced diet for the time being.
3. Sugar speeds up digestion and gives bacteria more food in the lower intestine if you can't digest things (but don't quote me on that)
4. Try to avoid vomiting, it doesn't help and isn't good for you
5. If you're hiking through godforsaken jungle or stuck on a mountain try Diohrea suppressing medication, if you can't stuff old socks up your ass crack
6. Don't reingest the bacteria /virus, constantly wash your hands and don't eat ANYTHING with them

I survived once by making a paste of nuts, sticky rice, banana (not a good idea) and electrolyte tablets and stuffed it into bamboo tubes

>>11416008
If I hadn't already failed no nut november this would've done it, thanks anon