/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11394053
Boil until al denté, senpai.

>>11394053
Nobody touch-a

>>11394053
>spaghetti
>no golden corn

>>11394053
Anime is for children

>>11394053
Naruto, really? You don't tell people you watch that as an adult, do you?

>>11394053
That’s too much food

>>11394571
Too much carbs. Carbs upon carbs.
Spaghetti and bread because fuck diabetes

>>11394589
>carbs
Maybe if youre a fatty which you are. Get better genes you neckbeard

>>11394606
Aren’t the majority of Americans overweight? It’s ironic a country so obsessed with self-image and going to the gym is also obese at the same time.

>>11394622
US has fallen a long time ago

>>11394606
>>11394622
>>11394630
Look at the coping fatso defending his glucose spikes like the hambeast he is

>>11394650
Who hurt you anon? It’s ok, you can let go of it, it’s in the past.

Wow amazing a thread asking about a recipe and cooking and all ck can manage to talk about is anime and portion control.

The most important part of spaghetti is the sauce. I've always made my sauce in a pot, and it takes about an hour and a half if I take my time. I'm going to try doing it in a slow cooker one of these days. And then there's the method of baking your tomatoes in the oven first.
Meatballs are really fun and easy to make, but I think sausage is considered more authentic. I wish local bakeries also sold freshly made pasta noodles.

>>11394662

>Who hurt you anon? It’s ok, you can let go of it, it’s in the past.

>>11394053
By putting on some stupid little white gloves while holding up a wine glass to a picture of a cartoon character in your laptop, something Australian

>>11394689
Like clockwork

>>11394700
Then why are throwing some fucking generic insult to get people pissed if you can't handle one yourself

>>11394709
Seems like you’re the one blowing a gasket, bud. Calm down.

>>11394715
Whatever

>>11394662
“He’s in the past” would have been a lot funnier

>>11394053
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sCT8VE1ybo

>>11394650
Maybe if im fat like you lmao stay fat tubby while we chads eat anything we want

>>11394053
You need to add the noodles to the sauce in a skillet and sauté for a couple of minutes. You plated it like a fat midwestern housewife who browses allrecipes

Noodles:

Boil some water. 2 Schools of thought here, one says add no salt (your salt should come from the sauce only) and the other says make the water as salty as the sea. I tend towards the latter, salt added in the very beginning allows it to soak in and makes it more effective as an actual flavor and not just surface crystals that overwhelm you when dashed ontop or even in the sauce. Naturally, if you add salt in the water, add less salt in your sauce, and flip it for the reverse.

Boil your noodles until they're JUUUST about done (Tender, but a bit chewy still, not quite al dente), then you finish cooking them in the sauce so they soak in that flavor too. If you're making a creamy sauce like Al Fredo, add some of the salty pasta water to the sauce. That water has starch/water/salt, which will thicken your sauce and make it naturally more creamy.

Sauce:

Not super complicated. Cook up some diced onions with some chopped garlic and a bit of olive oil, let the onions get translucent and be careful with the garlic. Once it's aromatic, add some tomatoes (whole, if possible, canned is OK depending on the brand/season) and crush that shit up. Add salt, it will help break it down. While that's cooking down, toss in a bay leaf, some oregano and a FUCKTON of basil. Almost no such thing as too much basil. Bonus points if you get a spoonful of tomato paste in there. Make sure you salt and pepper it, get some grated parmesan IN the sauce, then grate more ontop of the pasta once it's plated. Bam, your basic Spaghetti. You can add thyme/rosemary/fennel, but it isn't necessary.

Extra shit you can add in, if you brown some bones beforehand and braise them in the sauce, marrow mixes in and makes it 2x as savory/silky. Add in sausages of your choosing, meatballs, whatever. There's a lot more you can do, but spaghetti is a really basic simple meal once you get down to it. Toss your shit in, let it simmer for a bit, finish your noodles in it.

>>11395198

Oh I forgot, when you're sauteing the onions/garlic, you can throw in shallots as well.

>>11395198
You are dead wrong with the basil.

Basil loses flavor if added to the sauce.

You chifonade it and top your marinara with either it or Parmesan. Not both.

If you follow this posters guide you will wind up with a mess of clashing flavors that no Italian would eat.

Marinara. Sauté diced onions in olive oil. Add crushed tomatoes and salt. Reduce. Add al dente pasta and a ladle of pasta water. Sauté a few min. Top with basil ribbons or Parmesan. Add ground black pepper.

Penne a la vodka. Render bacon or pancetta. Sauté diced onion in fat add in some crushed red pepper. Deglaze with vodka and flambé. Add in crushed tomatoes, reduce, add in creme, reduce more. No add in al dente pasta and a ladle of reserved pasta water. Top with basil chifonade.

For either recipe you can sub garlic for onions if you want. Use either but not both.

>>11395208
Why the fuck would you add shallots if you're using onions? Waste of fucking money.

>>11395289

>Adding pasta water to pasta sauce
>Basil loses its flavor when added to the sauce
>Basil conflicts with Parmesan
>Spaghetti sauce and marinara are the same thing

On what planet? I dare you to find me an italian home with spaghetti sauce that doesn't have basil IN the sauce and you pay me 20 bucks for every home with basil in the sauce and Parmesan on top.

>>11394053
Not bad OP. I prefer garlic breadsticks than sliced loaf but spaghetti looks good nonetheless.

This sauce
https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/09/the-best-slow-cooked-italian-american-tomato-sauce-red-sauce-recipe.html
Put on spaghetti like this
https://www.seriouseats.com/2016/02/the-right-way-to-sauce-pasta.html

Pic related.

>>11394053
Enough carbs there buddy?

>>11395363
It’s literally all over the internet.

https://www.chowhound.com/post/add-fresh-basil-marinara-sauce-1059789

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bonappetit.com/story/save-your-pasta-water/amp

Butthurt your soccer mom tier slop recipe is all wrong?

>>11395429

>Links to chowhound.com and bonappetit.com

And by "soccer mom" I hope you're not talking about my actually Italian grandma.

1. Basil doesn't lose or dull its flavor in the 10-20 minutes of simmering it takes to make a sauce, it loses its flavor in EXTENDED cooking
2. Pasta water is added to pasta dishes with creamier sauces because it's an emulsifier and thickens it, you don't add it to spaghetti because there's literally no reason to
3. Marinara is not identical to spaghetti sauce
4. Adding noodles to tomato sauce is not "sauteing", sauteing is cooking in fat, not braising in a sauce you dunce

And you argue to never use garlic AND onions, despite that being a staple in every spaghetti sauce (and marinara sauce, if we're being fair) and half the other freak shit you threw in to seem fancy is also completely out of left field (again, basil conflicting with parmesan? what?)

You're a flyover who bought a meme cook book I get it but you're not making authentic spaghetti, if you served whatever YOU call spaghetti to an italian they'd spit it right the fuck out and ask you what you were trying to pull.

Your entire 'recipe' looks like the equivalent of a teenager writing an essay entirely through the filter of a thesaurus to sound cultured when really it just makes you look like an idiot. I mean seriously, deglazing a pan with vodka and calling it authentic italian? You have to be trolling me, I don't even believe you're from the same planet as me. Excluding either onions or garlic? For what reason? Your marinara sauce is literally just stewed tomatoes with onions, further diluted by pasta water for no reason other than you saw it on fucking chowhound.com

OP if you follow this man's recipe I want you to write a letter to Italy saying you're fucking sorry for what you just called spaghetti

>>11394053
That's all for you alone? jesus christ.

>>11394053
Not like that.

>>11395456
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>11395456
>>11395429


Oh and for the record, when basil "loses and dilutes" its flavor, you know where it goes right? It goes into the fucking sauce which is the whole point. Goddamn moron. It's like saying you shouldn't add a mirepoix when making chicken stock because all the flavor leaks into the stock, that's the whole idea.

I can't even get over this, my inner italian is vibrating with fury. I can just imagine you dumping the most depressing flavorless "marinara" onto a bunch of ALREADY AL-DENTE noodles then continuing to "saute" it in the pan (aka overcook it because they're already al dente), serving it with such a dumb look on your face and when everyone shifts around uncomfortably because your "marinara" is basically unseasoned crushed tomatoes with basil leaves ontop you respond with "What's the matter, flyover? Tastes too SUBTLE and REFINED for you? I'll have you know this recipe is all the RAGE on chow hound dot com!"

God damnit I hope you apologise to everybody that eats your slop spaghetti and don't you ever come to Italy you cocksucker

>>11394606
>I defend my misinformation by making up more misinformation
an inside look into the head of a mongoloid..

>>11395488
>>11395483
>>11395456
>>11395289


Goddamnit im STILL mad, this is bait and my stupid wop ass is CHEWING on it

Fucking AA LA VODKA say it everybody

AA

LAAA

VOODKA

This man -ACTUALLY- typed this out, hit enter and posted it onto the fucking internet. I swear on my life if I ever had a bite of this shit I would shoot myself in the fucking mouth. Alcohol to deglaze the fond from some fucking onions? It's already deglazing in the tomato sauce for christ's sake why would you need to add fucking VODKA of all things and FLAMBE it no less??

I can't even wrap my head around this shit, please tell me you at least loudly yell WALLA! AAA LA VODKA EVERYBODY! When you serve this shit because otherwise there is NO point in it being this fucking goofy and off the mark. I swear I wouldn't be surprised if the next time you post this you use contadina sauce because you're CONFIDENT in the SODIUM CONTENT for your AA LAAA VOODKA AUTHENTIC ITALIAN SPAGHETTI SAUCE

I CANT EVEN BELIEVE I TYPED THAT AS A SENTENCE WHAT FUCKING PLANET AM I ON YOU GODDAMN COCKSUCKER

He read a single comment on CHOW HOUND DOT COM everybody now he knows that A LA VODKA (WALLA!) is the most AUTHENTIC Italian dish, and it's only authentic if you EXCLUDE HALF THE NECESSARY TRADITIONAL INGREDIENTS FOR A SPAGHETTI SAUCE

And he just uses marinara and spaghetti sauces interchangeably for fuck's sake im gonna have a vein in my head pop

>>11395540
Huh?

>>11395483
Okay dude first off,
1) A REAL Navy Seal wouldn't go around bragging about his accomplishments and possibly reveal his identity.
2) The United States isn't a totalitarian regime so if you were to attack citizens randomly, then you'd be going to jail
and
3) What is a Navy Seal doing on 4chan anyways?
You're probably a NEWFAG who cannot get fucking laid.

>>11395581

>>11395540
Read the whole thing in Grim's voice.

>>11394589
>ewww carbs, groooosss
Spotted the dumbass American.

>>11394053
boil until golden brown