/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11365563
I made tuna noodle casserole and when I added the cream of mushroom soup, I also added a full can of water with it because I didn't know any better.

I added a tablespoon when I should have added a teaspoon.

I dialed Pizza Hut when I meant to dial Domino's

The recipe said to move the rack to the center of the oven. I didn't think it would matter.

I was actually going to make a real reply to this thread but I decided against it.

>>11365637
Nigger!

>>11365563
Burnt it completely to shit

I made chilli and forgot to add the beef.

>>11365563
Thought I switched the knob to low but must have popped it to high for carnitas, fell asleep on my couch and woke up to a pot of flaming lard and pork shoulder and an apartment filled with smoke while my cat was vomiting for the smoke inhalation since it collected in the room he was napping in. I capped it with a plate to extinguish the fire but still did not realize what the hell happened so it kept bellowing smoke since the heat was still on blast on the electric coil. I finally realized and walked the pot to the parking lot of my complex, opened the windows and took my car to the vet while the apartment aired out. My cat was fine and other than smelling awful my apartment was okay, pork shoulder was fucked though

i tried to make chili and put the heat on high and when i went to add oil in it caught on fire and fucked my pot up

>>11365686
>>11365685
Good grief you two need to pay attention.

>>11365674
what's wrong with chili sans carne, my shit anime loving friend?

I don't know if this counts, but I was going to a family reunion in New Mexico. I stopped in Lubbock to crash at a friend's place for the night because I didn't much feel like showing up in NM horribly late. I had planned on making a pie for the reunion, so I get there the next day and start to get my stuff together and I realized that I'd left all my dry ingredients back in Lubbock.

A preface; I was drunk. Tried for the first time in my life to make those jap noodles with the egg in it. Used some random ramen pack and cooked an eggie then dumped it into the ramen but it turned into scrambled egg bits in the soup.
Was fuck awful and I tossed it after a single bite, though in hindsight the bite was unneeded.

>>11366104
all you have to do is stir it up real fast and mix it well

>>11365563
I made gravy using buttermilk.

I was thinking of "Buttermilk biscuits and gravy", and was like, "Buttermilk gravy... that's a thing I've heard of."

>>11366313
Wish my whiskey told me that...

>>11365563
Overcrowding the pan. Never overcrowd the pan.

>>11365563
made an indian dish with yogurt that split and curdled. looked awful tasted OK

>>11365563
Was supposed to add sour cream to thicken dish according to mum.
Got those floating clumps because I didnt do it right, mum yelled at me for hours :(

>>11365685
Were you drunk?

>>11367619
Not him, but I think that’s a given. Unless he’s a narcoleptic.

I sat down at my pc while cooking a steak and I lost track of time and it ended up so charred the entire apartment smelled like as it had burned alarming my neighbours.

I tried to grill a steak at 3 AM without any lights, straight out of the freezer. It was fucking raw on the inside when I came back in but I had already put up the grill. So I decided I'd finish it off in the microwave. When I removed the plate it was just a hunk of grey sitting in a lake of juice.

I forgot that I put a pizza in the oven one time.
Only things I've fucked up trying to cook real food were the first couple of times I tried to make rice.
Undercooked, oversalted, whatever

made cheesecake one day and when it was baked our family gathered round the table and I discovered I had forgotten to add sugar. It tasted quite ... hearty.

Was making a beef chili, the recipe listed stock in grams, but i had those jelly style stock plop pots.
Not realising they are more than double the strength of granules i created this kind of ultra thick beef porridge. I could barely eat it and i was seriously hungry, it tasted of nothing but cheap triple concentrate beef stock.
Hilariously my insanely picky friend finished his plate and said he liked it. What a polite guy.

>>11365563
i want to suck on brat's asshole

I was making chocolate mousse cake and some recipe said that it's okay to use a glass bowl to melt chocolate in a water bath. It sounded a bit suspicious but I did it anyway. My bowl had broken and all the chocolate poured into boiling water. RIP.
I used pyrex bowl next time and mousse was delicious

>>11368845
Lolis are for hugs not for fugs.

When I was first learning how to cook (like learning how to heat soup up in a pan), I over seasoned the ever living fuck out of some squash soup. Had to throw it out.
A few days later I tried savory oats. Was absolutely disgusting. Had to throw it out.
Recently I was making a pasta dish. I had nailed the home made sauce, had marinated chicken and it was cooked perfectly.
Then I got lazy with the noodles, didn't stir them often enough because I wasn't paying attention, and my noodles were fucking under cooked and stuck together. Felt fucking dumb. I've cooked pasta a million times. Pasta and gravy I fuck up the second I get lazy on like I'm brain dead.

used baking soda instead of baking powder
>it was 7th grade home ec

>make paprika rub for my pork tenderloin
>start rubbing my meat
>hands start feeling warm, then painfully stinging hot
>realize I just rubbed several cups of habanero powder on my hands
>wash hands, water feels like lava and I turn my house into capsaicin chernobyl with fumes
To this day whenever I rub my eyes in the kitchen they start burning from residual contact

>Pan frying some chicken breasts
>after heating I realized the oil was a little shallow
>go back to pantry and grab bottle of golden syrup thinking it was veggie oil
>start pouring it into the heated oil, it starts popping all over me
Turns out I grabbed a similar shaped bottle of cornsyrup and started dumping it in

I tried making chocolate cake with whole wheat flour

>>11365563
I don't even remember what I did wrong but I made cornbread that ended up being black on the top and goopy in the middle.

Anytime I baking anything prepackaged I forget to check the high altitude instructions and it ends up being goofy some way or another. I don't have this problem when I'm baking from scratch, ironically.

Used mustard instead of mayonnaise when making 5 pounds of egg salad
>Was during a job

Read 11/4 as 2.75 instead of 1.25. it was written like that without a space, but i should have known...

>>11365606
I just did this with szechuan beef
>3 tsp sugar
>put 3 tbsp
>delicious sugar beef

>>11365563
put a fuckton of salt in pancake batter once.

>>11369236
Didn't you literally just post this in another thread.

>>11369278
I don't have much to do today. I also prefer how I wrote the sentence in this case, it flows better.

>>11369329
Based and redpilled

>>11369329
What a genuine a cute reply.

>>11367663

>>11365685
hard to believe someone could walk away from that

Roasted some cucumber thinking it was zucchini.
I've also smoked out my house a few times, my stove is a fucking nightmare glasstop and getting temperature right is really fucking hard.

>>11365563
Grabbed baking soda instead of sugar to put in my scalded milk when making milk bread. Caught it before I put it in the flour since it fizzed and boiled over, making a big mess on the stove. Both the sugar and baking soda were in plastic bags rather than boxes, but I did realise I needed to update my glasses prescription.

>>11365563
Not me, but a friend put a pizza in the oven with the plastic wrapper still on. With predictable results.
Same friend got sent out for charcoal for a bbq and came back with those lava stone lumps you put in a decorative gas fire.

>>11369548
first gf was vegetarian, couldn't even stand touching meat, she "made bacon" by putting the whole pack in the microwave

>>11369479
Glass tops need pans with heavy bottoms to buffer the heat, I've got some pots that I can't caramelize onion in even on low because it just fries since the bottom is paper thin

>50 post
>no brat ass poster
somethings amiss here

On topic though I put a cheesecake in the oven and completely forgot about it for a good 2 hours

>>11369716
Probably who >>11369085
was replying to.

>>11369337
>>11369343
Warning, I'm not a girl.

>>11369924
Even better

>>11369947
Yes, the 6'3" girl (boy). Perfect plan, what could go wrong?

grilled calamari. way too fucking over seasoned. a few were fine but the rest were just bad. first time i cooked squid so not surprising.

>curry madras
>end up with a piece of glass between my ribs
L

made brownies
added 1 1/2 cups of oil instead of 1/2 a cup

I was thoroughly angry with myself at the time

>>11365563
I was making Kraft dinner one night, and part way through I discovered that the coffee creme I was going to use had gone bad, but I did have chocolate milk left, and I thought it would work in a pinch...
>It didn't work...

>>11365563
While making my first ever batch of hummus I confused two cloves of garlic with TWO BULBS. It was very spicy

>making pb&j
>tastesgoodman
>get salmonella poisoning because I had the one contaminated jar during a recall

>>11365666
Satanic trips don't lie, burning it to shit is the worst way to mess up a dish

>>11370442

>>11369205
Heat was too high

>>11365563
>>11365591
>>11365606
>>11365617
>>11365632
>>11365674
the really sad part about all this is that you're an adult male.

>>11366393
so much this

>>11365563
cookies without flour
didnt realize until i saw the puddle in the oven

>be kid making box macaroni
>want to melt butter for cheese sauce
>decide to put the glass of cheese sauce & butter on burner
>it become the broken glass

>>11365563
>put salt in the brownie batter instead of sugar

dont let /ck/ die
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>>11365685
top zozz

>>11369449

One day I was trying to make a fried egg and for some reason I thought you had to heat up the oil 'till it starts to boil

>>11365563
i always end up burning the fucking garlic because i'm a retard but then decide to go through with the whole recipe, effectively ruining every ingredient

>>11373072
>oil
>boiling
you still have a lot to learn, dumbfriend

>went to add a smidge of pepper to my almost complete paella
>the fucking lid came off and emptied the entire contents into the pan

I frisbied the pan out the fucking window

I did pick chorizo off the grass afterwards because I was hungry as fuck

>>11370442
Kraft mole sounds good.

I made a couscous salad, but turned out I didn't have enough couscous, so I put some rice in.
I did not take cooking times into consideration.

>>11365563
I once baked sliced eggplant in the oven looking to add it into a dish, and when I pulled out the oven tray all there was left was translucent, paper thing disks with a purple skin around it.

I accidentally emptied the water, cheese and spices out of pasta before mixing it together.

>>11369141
Not that bad. This is basically why home ec exists though, though i can understand it being shameful to make a silly mistake in front of your peers at a young age.

Mom was teaching me to make scrambled eggs as a kid - think I was 7
Got confused and spread butter all over the hot burner coil instead putting it in the pan

i put canned bamboo shoots in a soup and just dumped the whole can, water and all

tasted like shit, couldn't salvage it

>>11365563
I set the fish on fire.