/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11336572
>works in an office
>doesnt drink coffee
You are the hated one, OP

>>11336572
Shhh.

I unironically don’t drink coffee. I have chronic insomnia, and on top of that it never did much for me. I just kind of phased it out of my diet, but I’ve watched roommates and gfs go through caffeine withdrawals when the power is out. It looks miserable and stupid.
Once every two years or so I will drink coffee, when I actually NEED the boost, but otherwise anyone who drinks it on the daily is an addict and a boomer (most likely).

Damn good joe

>>11336572

>>11336572
>not knowing coffee talk is just memes
Nobody really needs a cup before they can work. We just like a quiet moment to mentally prepare ourselves for the upcoming day of having to deal with people and their stupid shit.

>>11336572
You're just not based and red pilled enough to enjoi hot cawfee

>>11336604
Then come in half an hour early, Frances. I'm fucking tired of your fat ass spending an entire hour fucking around on the clock getting coffee and taking a shit and changing your tampon and whatever the FUCK you do before you actually start WORKING. You act like you have some kind of tenure but news flash, being a lazy fucking shit for some 20 years or so does not make you invulnerable.

>>11336572
>>11336618
Ive been given sufficient information to form a mental image of you OP, and let me tell you, its not pretty

If you can beat them, join them.
At work we had a bunch of guys ruining productivity by constantly going on a smoke break. We screwed them over by having everyone going outside when they go smoke.

>>11336618
>>11336620
Wow, and now youve deleted a reddit tier post to slightly reformat it? Ok, the jig is up. Good troll thread, OP. I bit.

>>11336625
>zoomers genuinely do this kind of shit
things really are hopeless in the world today

>>11336572
OP ha a point, i guess when your old, miserable and hate your life in general, every excuse you can think of to take up time becomes something you really cherish. If i was in credit card debt, had a mortgage, and a car loan. I also would hate life and want to drink coffee to take up time. Because i would essentialy be an indentured servant.

coffee has never given my diarrhea, just regular rhythms, wake up at 06:30, coffee at 06:45, poop between 07:30 and 08:00 and I'm clear the rest of the day

>>11336620
Are you trying out a script?

I like coffee but I treat it like any other beverage but fuck people like you OP. Generalising an entire group because a select few (office workers no less) upset you over their obsession. You're no worse than they are.

>being THIS mad because of your soul sucking, health deteriorating office job

coffee time is literally getting free break

I don't understand coffee sippers.

I down 16 ounces within seconds as soon as it's cool enough.

>>11336590
I’m this idiot.
>>11336688
When I did drink coffee (sometimes for the taste/ to enjoy with a cigarette), I would 9/10 times wait until it was room temperature and drink it as fast as possible, black.
It’s not that it was shitty or anything, it was just purely for effect. Other than the occasional ritual when I had someone over the morning after. A good excuse to be hospitable but still manage to work in a “so what are you doing today” (get the fuck out).

>>11336644
It's not a script. I work at the municipal planning and zoning office and one of the plotters is this fucking ancient fat bitch that spends 90% of her time doing NOTHING and the only reason she gets away with it is she's done it for some 20 fucking years. She's been here longer than anyone in the office, even my fucking boss.

>>11336671
> soul sucking

> health deteriorating

Projecting this much. I worked shitty places, and good places, im more than happy with having an office next to a Lake, where i can go outside see bald eagles, Cranes, ossprey and deer.

>>11336677
Just go take a fucking break than! unnless your at a shitty place, nobody is gonna bust your balls. I go take breaks every 2 hrs for like 15 minutes, i just leave the computer go outside on the balcony and stare at the lake or go walk and look for birds. If you are actually doing your work when you get back nobody says anything.

Now if your that guy that is textinng on his phone more than he is working on his job, people will complain.

>>11336697
Sounds like a script you're rehearsing to say to her one day, which would be fun if you did, but probably never will have the balls to.

>>11336572
suck a dick faggot
sorry i have not drank all my coffee yet

*siiiip*
too much talkie in this thread

>>11336791
wakie wakie wagie slavie!

thats what i think of my coworkers that are inn debt, and use credit cards. and have car loans.

>>11336572
>he doesn't drink at least eight cups of coffee before heading to work in order to spend company time taking a shit to stick it to the man

coffee gud, but I don't like to do it every day and it takes a while to wean and be functional again

I don't understand people who binge drink coffee at work. I have a cup when I wake up, and one later on in the day after I've got home, but anything more than that gives me too much of a buzz followed by caffeine dump.

>>11336654
Are you the same guy who told the OP of another thread to go back to /pol/ for asking if anyone would pay $200 for a year of free pizza?

>>11336825
I drink exactly one cup a day and still manage to clock in at LEAST an hour of shitting throughout the day, 3 20 minute shits. Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time

>>11336572
Coffee helps me pooping.
Weed helps me sleeping.
Muscle relaxants relieve my muscle spasms.
Monthly infusions keeps my MS from progressing.

My quality of life and lifespan itself would drop significantly if I wasn't "addicted" to my daily meds.

>>11336869
Hop off the cross there you loon.

>>11336572
I'm the only person I know who doesnt drink coffee. I like you, OP.

>>11336572
Um, no, sweetie. Yiu don't get to talk until I've had my cuppa.

>>11336572
>I HAVE to smoke a gram of pot before work or ill be tired
>I need to take a shot of vodka to wake myself up
Because neither alcohol nor weed is going to wake you up, unlike the caffeine in coffee, which quite literally does exactly that.
However, you might say something after work like
>"I HAVE to smoke a bowl before bed or I won't sleep" or
>"I NEED to have a couple drinks after work to unwind"
because those are actually things that you use the aforementioned substances for.

>I dislike coffee, except for vietnamese coffee with condensed milk
So basically, you just admitted that your infantile tastebuds can't comprehend the nuance of good coffee and you just don't understand why a person would drink something that wasn't sweet or neutral. Nice sour grapes attitude, you little self-important shit. Coffee has been around for over a thousand years.

>>11336620
>this shit
So you just don't like people having a good time and you are angry that they're NOT working while you ARE working? Why not just stop working as hard? Or does Mr Shekelstein REALLY need that third yacht this year...?
>>11336697
Oh, I get it, you just have a problem with this one person in particular so anything she does is automatically a bad behavior.
Could you be any more of a fragile little snowflake? Just go confront the old bag at work, talk to your boss, or get a new job. You'll find out soon enough that there's someone like that literally everywhere you will ever work, and it only gets worse from here.

>>11337195
Ah ah ah. Run along and play with your toys while the adults enjoy their cuppa in silence.

>>11337204
You obviously didn't read my post, but whatever.
I can talk all I want, I've already had two cups of coffee today.
It's nearly 11am EST. Get your shit together if you haven't.

I work brunch shift in a cafe and I have regular customers that drink multiple cups of coffee and shots of espresso all fucking day long. They're annoying as shit and never stop wiggling around.

>>11337206
>reading that retarded looking blog
Shhhhhh

>>11336572
lol u mad

>becoming this heavily dependent on caffeine

I don't understand why people do this. It's actual NPC behavior. I get a little groggy if I drink too much tea, but that's about the extent. It doesn't even wake you up all that well.

>>11336572
>being this asspained about a fucking beverage

>>11336572
>don’t drink coffee every day cuz poorfag and like good beans
>wake up at 4:30 to go hunting, brew a rare pot
>watch sunrise over sagebrush with my rifle in my lap
Why are you so miserable OP?

I work about 60-70 hours a week OP.

I also cannot afford to buy pre-prepared meals so I have to spend time preparing food for every meal, almost every day.

On top of having a workout plan and wanting time to myself, it's impossible to be fully functional without at least 100 or so mg of caffeine once every few days to make up for an inevitable sleep deficit.

>le NPC
Not everyone is a good-for-nothing NEET like you OP

>>11337365
>Why are you so miserable OP?

Looks like his real problem is some ancient bitch that's been at work for over 20 something years.

>>11337400
How the hell is OP a NEET? He's actively complaining about his job.

>>11337432
NEET is a state of mind, not just a state of being.

friends don't let friends' cup get cold

>>11337517
mmmm Kopi Luwak

8 hours is a scam, 6 is all you need, that being said, not now sweatie.

>>11336572
I hate them a lot. They are basically addicts and their humour for a large part revolves around this fact, which they acknowledge but in a 'funny' way so it's not true or something like that. Also they have absolutely vile breath, you can see it on their tongues; a brown yellow layer of detritus which carries a rotten smell that can reach over several meters.

I don't even dislike coffee itself, I love a good, strong espresso every now and then, but just to enjoy the taste, not to be functional. Because that's the thing; all of those office drones drink the same watery, disgusting swill that makes me want to vomit when just thinking about it. We even have a free automatic coffee machine which makes "decent" coffee but they refuse/aren't allowed to drink it because of the sheer quantities they pour down their throats, so they use one of those large stainless steel things they use at events or whatever (see pic), with two carafes so they can pour out one whilst making another simultaneously. It's completely retarded. I had a cup once and nearly had to spit it out because it was so disgusting. Btw you might think I work at a large company because of these quantities, but there are literally maybe 5-6 people drinking from it.

Literally with any other stimulant or drug or whatever they would be branded as raging addicts but it's coffee so that's okay.

>>11337170
The reminder that there are actually people on this world who are like this makes me mad already

>>11337356
Nah, it's not about the beverage.
It's Frances.
It's always been about Frances.

>>11337659
>I love a good, strong espresso every now and then
FUCK YOU FRANCES!! FUCK YOU!!

>>11336572
Caffeine has a biological effect that focuses and invigorates people. It can be cheap and delicious. Forcing a normal bodily function is not a draw back. Although, if they're spending more than three minutes in the bathroom, they're either using company time or never learned how to poop properly. Also, proofread your posts.

>>11337659
>i-i just like it for the taste
Hipster

>>11336572
>lemon water
Hipster

I can picture the combined size of your beard hairs lmao enjoy your dementia and early death from not drinking coffee
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20182054
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5420628/
https://academic.oup.com/biomedgerontology/article/71/12/1596/2513764
https://academic.oup.com/advances/article/4/1/115/4591557
https://www.omicsonline.org/open-access/the-effects-of-coffee-consumption-on-cognition-and-dementia-diseases-2167-7182-1000233.php?aid=58859
https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/10/10/1501
inb4 butthurt and nonarguments

>>11338161
>hipster
Fuck you and enjoy your office swill you addict. Do you call everyone who doesn't drink a handle of bottom shelf wodka a day a hipster too?

>>11336572
>Don't talk to me until I've had your coffee
>"You just had a coffee"
>That was yours. I still need mine
My colleagues think I'm a laugh. The bosses think I'm a joke. It's the curse of the jester.

>>11336632
Productivity isn't the issue. We're all more than productive than ever before.

Are people really this uppity in both sides?
I mean, I've never seen these so called "coffee addicts" nor do I see anyone who is against coffee as a reactionary thing.

I work at a municipality as well and the average age of my co-workers is around 60. Yet none of them have these behaviors and neither do I.

That being said I love coffee, I either drink Turkish in a French press or I drink Italian with steamed milk and whipped cream (made using honey and vanilla beans)

I'm going to make some Thai egg coffee soon as well. So that will be fun

>>11336590
how long does your power go out for man wtf?

>>11336625
you are now aware that there exist people who took up vaping just so they could get smoke breaks at work
it's why they make 0% nicotine liquids

The smell of coffee makes me sick.

I am drinking coffee right now, but I have never had the mentality where I say things like "I have to have muh ____." I don't really actively avoid saying things like that. But, I guess it's a philosophical difference, or maybe just logical, because I know that I literally don't HAVE to have it, so it doesn't make sense for me to say it.

>>11341631
I love a good whiff of coffee.

How's it going fellas

>>11336572
>i work at an office
Funniest thing ITT.

t. non-white collar worker

>>11336572
>Anyone else hate Coffee Drinkers?
Hating anyone for a food or beverage preference would be irrational.

I'd certainly be a bit embarrassed by someone who considered coffee drinking their identity though. Like >>11341640
I might make coffee first thing at work but it's not like I'll refuse to talk to anyone until I do or be a prima donna about it.

My uncle was a little like that apparently, he was a purchasing manager for a big corporation and apparently people wouldn't go into his office in the morning with their purchase request until they could confirm that he'd had his first coffee. So he said anyway.

>>11336572
>Maybe try getting 8 hrs of sleep instead of staying up all night watching your game of drones?
That's not an option.

>>11336572
I'm British. It's so sad to see people buy expensive coffee and talk about how much coffee is better than their fucking Poundland tea.

>>11342004
all you drink is fucking bagged shit anyway, tea loving nation my ass

>>11342027
We're just addicted.

I dropped coffee completely about 3months~ ago, first i had the shakes'n shit, headaches almost every day but now im fine and i gotta tell ya faggots, a cup o' green tea is far better way to get that "boost up" for your day without ruining your sleepytime.
Even tastes better!

>>11336620
You sound like the bits of Wanted that made us all think that it would be an awesome Fight Club remake.

>They need caffeine to boost up their body
>They don't drink coffee just for the nice flavor it has

You might aswell snort some cocaine at least you'll """"boost"""" it properly

>>11342124
Cocaine is oils with gasoline, coffee is just bean juice, why do you mormons hate it so much.

>>11342135

>Implying I hate it

Only thing I hate is you fuckers who support "le caffeine wakes me up" meme when even a 16yo kid with basic biology knowledge would know that after a month of drinking a cup a day the body gets used to the caffeine and it becomes useless unless you don't concentrate it even more; at that point just put down a line and get a real boost in performance

>>11342155
This was ops main point. Coffee is fine. But not these addict losers

An entire thread of people butt hurt over coffee. I like it.

the engineers abandonded my company so now me and a technician whose been there two years run the machines. dude fucks off so much. he just stands around talking to other people working and just sitting around on the clock barely doing anything. but hes the one who knows the machinery!

well, he just left and now im the only one who knows how to run the machine. mwuhahahahaha i have been promoted to 'do-whatever-i-want' guy!

im in bed right now. i didnt come into work. ima read a mystery novel. my bosses company is falling to shit

we refine weed!

>>11336878
If you weren't so shitty at your job you could be the boss.

>>11336697
>Government Job
>lazy fat roasties
Nigger what did you expect

>>11336572
>Anyone else hate Coffee Drinkers?
Yepppppppppppp I do. It's fucking pointless addiction is all it is. It's a drug that is legal and people got hooked to it and now TRULY BELIEVE they need it every day. It's fucking pathetic. No one NEEDS coffee to function. It doesn't do shit for you. I hate coffee drinkers the same way I hate heroin addicts, alcoholics, potheads etc. The only substance you should absolutely intake voluntarily is food and water, the things you need to survive. No human needed heroin, pot, alcohol, or coffee to survive. It's all a fucking sham and you're pathetic if you take any of these things.

>>11336572
you sound butt hurt desu

the people who drink coffee at the place I work at use so much sugar and creamer in their coffee that they may as well be eating donuts, you can smell the sickening sweetness of their drinks from across the room, it's disgusting.

>>11342135
I know this is a roasty board now, but are you really that fucking stupid or are you merely pretending.

>>11342124
For me, it's amphetamine, the best stimulant psychoactive.

>>11336572
>Or if you have to wake up, how about actually waking up an hr earlier going out for a walk, or doing just 20-30 push ups?
>Maybe try getting 8 hrs of sleep instead of staying up all night watching your game of drones?

Must be nice being able to sleep when you want. I don't get this luxury.

>go to bed at 11:30
>lay awake staring at the ceiling for 4 hours
>wake up at 7
>feel like shit all morning
>verge of passing out afternoon
>go to bed
>FULLY AWAKE
>lay there for 4 hours staring at the ceiling
>repeat 5 days a week
>sleep for 14 hours on day off

I don't even drink coffee.

t. the janitor in an office building

I'm a grad student so I drink coffee when I know I have a long work day ahead of me for the boost in productivity. However I cannot and will not drink coffee outside those circumstances because 1) I'm not a fan of hot beverages and 2) coffee really fucks with my sleep and I value that much more

Also, since I'm autistic about hot beverages, I usually make coffee and immediately throw some ice cubes on that bitch and drink straight.

By contact, my mom is addicted to coffee and drinks it regularly with breakfast or dinner yet the caffeine has no effect on her sleep

>>11336572
Yes, and I say this as a graduate student who's borderline addicted to caffeine pills right now. I used to cycle then come of them so I wouldn't become completely dependent, but lately I've been so busy that I don't have a week where I can afford to be sluggish and retarded while my brain fixes itself. I hate this.

>>11336604
Sometimes it's been a cold ass commute, and I fucking lost my gloves, again. Sure I have a heater in my car, but that shit doesn't matter when I'm scraping the windshield. A hot beverage helps me warm up, and gives me an excuse to ignore my shitty coworkers. Sometimes I'll make miso with the hot water. Sometimes, I'll make some chicken broth using bouillon. I did pho broth from bouillon cubes, and that was okay. I drink tea as well. But coffee is also tasty. So go fuck yourself Chris, quit fucking sneaking up on me and grabbing my shoulder with your wanking hand, I know you masturbate in your car at lunch, and I don't fucking want to chat with you this morning or any other time of the day, so take your silver pubes hair and get out of my cubicle. I just want to enjoy my hot beverage for a precious few minutes before I have to get on a bullshit conference call with some retarded firm the customer contracted to oversee the project. I won't be necessary or acknowledged on the call, I'm just required on the call for the sake of appearances. I'm counting the days until Thanksgiving, when I can turn off my phone and ignore all the "emergencies" that come my way from a lack of planning.

So, I'd give coffee a 6/10. It sounds like OP has a problem with the dunder mifflins who sit at the coffee machine and chat loudly, while people try to get work done, or those who use it as a way to justify acting like a jerk to coworkers. And I can sympathize with that.