/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11322577
who gives a shit
if you're that fragile use the self-checkout

Once I hit 30 I stopped caring about how people perceived me. You'll get there too anon.

>>11322577
Serves you right, fat fuck.

>>11322584
30 days without sex?
wtf how is that even possible LMAO

>>11322577
No matter what you buy, you're not buying 400 dollars of junk food in food stamps.

You're not the guy disheveled shaking trying to count money so he can buy his bottle and get out to the parking lot so he can slam a half pint of it to get steady.

The cashier couldn't care any less about your chocolate milk. Even if they did, why wouldn't they assume you have kids at home?

>>11322577
She'll only think that because it's true. Women make men understand their faults and strive to improve them. That's part of their role. It's the soft power they've wielded throughout history which has made them more influential than men ever could be.

cashier here, I mentally judge every single one of my hundreds of customers, remember their face and then tell all my friends and family about that one guy who actually bought a frozen pizza

>>11322577
>immature
>lazy, unhealthy bitch
you probably are

>>11322606
This

I can confirm that I did not care about or even notice some guy buying a reasonable amount of junk food, but the one that will forever stand out in my memory is the white trash guy who came in once a month to buy our entire supply of mountain dew, monster, doritos, and reeses cups, and put it all on food stamps

toilet paper. i buy all my toilet paper from the gas station after midnight.

i am so self conscious about having people think i just sit at home jerking off and shitting all day with my giant bags of toilet paper. If there are too many people at the gas station i will just shit then clean my ass in the shower.

>>11322668
Everyone buys toilet paper, and buying it in bulk just means you're smart enough with your money to look for value on something you know you will use eventually anyway, if anything the ones I question are people who just buy a single roll of TP

>>11322668
this is one I find weird to, people say they don't want to buy something with the cashier knowing what it's used for, but then they carry 24 rolls of tp to the checkout

>>11322678
Everybody poops

>>11322668
Buy an entire year's supply when it's close to Halloween, making a comment about your mummy costume as it's being scanned. I've been doing this for years now and it never fails.

I clean up my sperm with a reusable cloth, though, so if you do need toilet paper for masturbation it might be hard to buy enough.

>>11322616
based

>>11322668
Jesus.

You're gonna start stealing rolls from public restrooms aren't you?

Face your fear and buy some at walmart dude. You don't have to say anything other than yo, then have a nice day, and even then that's optional.

>>11322697

you don't get it man , i have been avoiding it for so long it's become ingrained. Like i can't even do the self checkout shit. In my mind everyone is laughing and pointing WOOOOOO LOOK HOW MUCH PAPER HE HAS HE MUST STINK.

>tfw no bidet
>tfw no fat azn wife to buy paper
>tfw gas station has no 3 ply and anus is sore

>>11322702
I hope you know that buying toilet paper exclusively at the gas station is weirder than getting it at walmart and the gas station clerks probably do remember "the guy who buys toilet paper all the time", while a walmart cashier wouldn't ever notice

>>11322702
Why not just order it online if it's a big deal?

>>11322604
>30 days without sex?
>wtf how is that even possible LMAO

>>11322705

i go to different gas stations. there are like 10 i go to at different times, also i go in and buy something or gas then as i go to pay i pretend its an afterthought and go "oh shit better get some toilet paper" with a sheepish grin. every single time.

>>11322716
When was the last time you regularly bought toilet paper? What triggered this autism?

no I still go grocery shopping with my mom and Im 30

>>11322756
Janoy?

>>11322577
Why do you buy premade food like chocolate milk or frozen pizza, when the DIY versions are vastly superior?

You're a self centered narcissist if you think that anyone out in the world gives a single flying fuck about you.

>>11322716
You are becoming an urban legend among gas station clerks.
>when the clock strikes midnight, the toilet paper autist appears
>nobody knows what station he'll visit next, the man is an enigma
>some say his house is completely stuffed with rolls of toilet paper and he spends every waking hour either shitting or masturbating, or shitting while masturbating

>>11322577
You should feel that way, and rightly so. Maybe don't buy food for children and your problem will be solved.

>>11322577
You really think the extra chromosome deltas who are cashiers don't stuff their gaping maws with junk food? You think they're capable of even stringing together a series of thoughts about you? Dude those "people" are losing their jobs to a few lines of code that coud be written by a 12 yo.

>>11322762
How in the name of BALLS do you make choclate milk at home?

>>11322577
>i'm a lazy, unhealthy bitch

Why do women always think everyone is out to judge them? Are they that self-involved?

>>11323363

yes they are. Their whole sense of self worth can be changed by something as simple as whether their 200000 indian thirsty cunts on social media like her vaguely relevant quote and whether she can rescue it by posting semi naked pictures

>>11322684
fake news, girls don't poop

>>11323337
You make your own chocolate, powder that up, and put in the milk.

>>11322716
>he thinks that acting abnormal, showing up places in the middle of the night, buying things at atypical places, and doing damage control in front of normies is LESS suspicious and embarrassing than just acting like a normal human being buying normal human being things exactly as everyone else does
People laugh at you FOR that kind of "o-oh this? t-this isn't for me" retarded sheepish behavior, not for buying toiletries. Kill yourself if you can't function as an adult.

>>11322577
I purchased:

bananas

Whipped cream in a can

Chocolate syrup

Personal lube

and condoms.

The checkout kid turned all read with embarrassment when it clicked in his head what the items were.

(I handed him $100 and he gave me back my $100 with the 76.00 change).

I purchased:

bananas

Whipped cream in a can

Chocolate syrup

Personal lube

and condoms.

The checkout kid turned all red with embarrassment when it clicked in his head what the items were.

(I handed him $100 and he gave me back my $100 with the 76.00 change).

>>11322684
>not low-key pretending to be some supernatural entity that doesn't poop and doesn't eat

>>11322577
Is it $200 of pop with food stamps? Do you have 3 little mulattoes in tow that wont stop sprinting around and opening shit? Are you robbing me? I dont think you quite comprehend how little of a shit we give when you come through the line

>>11322616
Do you actually believe people care what some dumb wagie with a GED thinks about them?

>>11323936

you didnt do any of that you are just repeating a meme because you are an idiot.

>>11322584
>Once I hit 30 I stopped caring about how people perceived me.
27 for me. I buy boxes of rubbers and KY at the supermarket from time to time and laugh at the girls that get embarrassed when they ring it up.

>>11323845
>make your own chocolate
>powder that up
Why not just use cacao powder?

>>11323974
t.faggot with a dragon dildo

>>11323974
Meanwhile they're silently laughing at you because they know you have no use for such things.

>>11322577
Get some fucking therapy, OP. Then you might not feel the need to eat unhealthy foods that stimulate your pathetic pleasure center for a few minutes of binge eating while developing proper coping strategies.

>>11324013
Nah, because I look them right in the eye when they ring that shit up, and if they ask, I'll tell them I'll SHOW them what they're for after work.....unless they've got school the next day.

>>11323969
I absolutely did do that at Giant. The food was for dessert.

>>11322577
you should feel shame for being such a fat slob and killing yourself slowly with all that crap. >>11324024
has the right idea.

>>11322668
I have this one too.

>>11322716
saying something makes it worse. you're drawing attention to it.

>local supermarket has a downs syndrome kid at the checkout or maybe he has some other thing wrong with him, he is a retard for sure
>he sometimes writes customers names and what they buy so he can comment on it and be a good worker
>for example if you buy cabbage he will write it down and say next time 'how was your cabbage'
>one time bought condoms and 8 frozen pizzas from the store when he was the guy serving me
>was just because I was topping up frozen pizzas, the condoms were for my brother and his girlfriend to fuck
>told him as a joke that I use the condoms to wrap the frozen pizza so they fit better in the freezer
>now every time I go he asks 'were the condoms big enough for the pizza'
>says it loud as fuck
>pretty small town and there are rumours that I fuck pizza and am a sexual degenerate

"How was your cabbage?" lol.

>>11322577
If you're not 400 lbs. they don't care. Most cashiers are low or middle class paycheck-to-paycheck wagies, you think they're not eating the same kind of stuff?

>>11324134
okay now this

>>11324134
does he repeat the same ting every time? Like will he ask the same guy about cabbage for years to come? I call bullshit

>>11324180
I don't buy from his anymore, but he asks me whenever I walk past. if you buy from him he'll always comment.

I somewhat enjoy the confused looks of the people when they see me buying mostly healthy stuff and then some massive amount of booze.

>>11322577
>oh my god what is the cashier going to think of this

No. I usually just feel bad for the single mom cashier who looks like she wants to kill herself.

They work at the supermarket so jokes on them

>>11324007
Condoms don't fit on those

>>11322668
Everyone shits u faggot. also why not just buy it on bulk off the internet. I buy like 40 rolls at a time off Amazon and its the same price as 20 at a real store.

>>11324134
Pls b real

You know who I remember from being a cashier? The middle aged guy that threw shitfits and ran around the store because of lottery tickets, the old woman that expected a cashier to get off the register to follow her around the store and do her grocery shopping for her, and the 4'9 black kid with bright red irises that came in at 3 am in a van with 5 hookers on halloween night and freaked the fuck out about how they didnt respect him. I barely remember "swastica tatooed on forehead" guy and "guido with clearly fake prison tatoos that called me nigger alot" why would "guy that bought chocolate milk" ever register to me?

>>11322577
>buy junk food from the store to eat on the weekend
>feel so lonely and depressed, end up cooking something to eat
my junk food that i bought months ago is still collecting dust on the shelf, i want to die.

>>11323441
So that explains what's wrong with them!

>>11322604
27 years without sex here, just 13 more years until wizardhood. I don't i am gonna hold until then though, i am no longer a poorfag and life is looking good for me.

>>11322668
Buy from Sam's club or Costco so that you 40roll case of tp don't stand out against all the other fuckhuge boxes of everything else

>>11323936
i feel like if i do this the cashier's soul is too dead to even care.

>>11324134
>pizza
>town thinks you're a degenerate
>still upset about it
be thankful that was the extent of the damage. good thing they didn't call the FBI on you.

Sorta but only because I'm fat and guessing you are too. Would be no reason to be embarassed if you were in shape. Everybody indulges in junk food. Everybody but fat fucks go overboard consistently

>>11324363
traditional wizardry comes at 30 my dude, you don't want to go full warlock

>>11322581
1pBp

>>11324520
30? but that is easy, statistical studies show that 30's is the prime of a man (wealth, success, etc) so it becomes objectively easier to get sex in that age period.

Im on foodstamps so I have to make 2 store trips one to buy healthy real food with food stamps and another to buy junkfood and beer with cash

>>11324559
Right because you lied on your application about $$$ so you can’t let them see cash sales on your EBT receipt.

>>11322577
No. What i buy is my buisness. Having worked retail before i couldnt care less what people bought, and i generally forgot about anyone about 20mins later. I expect the same from the clerks who i couldn't care less to talk to. I just buy my shit and leave.

>>11324134
My small local walmart has a retard in the checkout, I go to him alot, because his line will be empty, while every other line has 2 or more people in it. People really avoid him, Idk why other than he's retarded, I mean he can count change and put my shit in a bag fine.

Generally it seems people avoid male cashiers period.

>>11322577
This is how insecure hamplanets feel

>>11322577
Having worked as a cashier, I can tell you that no one gives a shit what you're buying. The only thing I thought about whole doing that job was going home or going out after work. You could buy rope, condoms, lube, and a how to book on getting away with rape and I would think twice about what you're buying.

>>11324544
If you're the type of person who was unable to enter a sexual relationship by 30, the peak of your success is not going to be at all impressive.

>>11324520
But the warlock robes are so nice looking.

>>11322577
>tfw cashier starts commenting on your purchases

>>11324715
yeah, you just end up with a single mom with 1 or more kids from different fathers

>>11324134
Should have bought condoms and dog treats.

>>11322577
nah
t. buys 1 can of white monster at a time regularly

>>11324715
but plenty of people i know have entered sex at their late twenties till 30's. they are having it pretty good too with young women. i don't know who keeps on perpetuating the meme that you need to date women of your age, because i am sure as hell you don't have to.

>caring what anybody else thinks about you
>thinking that anybody on this planet even gives a flying fuck what you buy.
>being this insecure in life.

>>11322577
No because I'm not a teenage girl.

>>11324914
Sauce?

>>11324624
Its my girlfriends card she gets way more money in welfare than she could ever get with a job.

>>11324944
American tax dollars at work.
Either get a job or off yourself.

>>11322577
>walk into vons
>get one pack of my fav beer
>realize what this looks like at 4 pm
>walk around aimlessly picking up celery, broccoli, tomatoes, another bottle of tabasco
>get in line
>fucking boomer in front of me just got his frozen dinner and a coke and a pack of gum without a care in the world
>tfw mogged at the supermarket by boomers

>>11324963
I make plenty of money to support her and our children. The system is broken so I exploit it

>>11324973
Your exploiting money that could be spent on more important stuff.
Money doesn't come from nowhere.
Funding from other departments are cut because people just want free shit.

>>11324907
This is the one area guys have a leg up in, tons of women are attracted to older men, being a dude and fucking girls a decade younger than you is both easier and carries less stigma than an older woman trying to do the same

>>11324984
If there was any incentive to get married I would and she would not qualify for benefits. Until that happens section 8 will keep paying the mortgage on my house and foodstamps will pay for my food.

>>11324984
>hurr durr the politicians make less $$$ off of the taxpaying public to line their expensive overpaid vacations, this means medicare gets cut
I hope it does you stupid libtard cunt

>>11322577
I shop at whole foods so you can buy anything there and not feel ashamed

As a cashier at a grocery store heres my opinion. I dont care what you get i just scan your shit so i can get you outta the store. Unless youre like a guy i got who came in and bought tampons and cheese at like 10 at night. Then i question you.

>>11322577
Only when I buy beer while already heavily intoxicated. Bars have laws against serving you at that point in my state but grocery stores don't, the Shane stops as soon as I'm outside though

>>11324504
>>11322597
>>11322618
>>11324070

OP here. Not fat, just big boned. I only buy healthy foods and eat clean 95% of the time but sometimes you just have certain gravings for fatty sugary shit building up over multiple days... Maybe it's because I personally always judge people by what their load on the register...

Maybe it's because I have cravings for the most childish shit, like chocolate milk, fruit loops etc... my heart rate elevates as well. I usually just go for the ugliest, oldest cashier, that helps a little.

>>11325128
d-do you have a penis inside those pants?

>>11325074
What is something that you judge people for buying? Or something that just makes you form an opinion on that person?

>>11325136
No, I left it up your mom's ass

>>11324991
exactly, if the neckbeards in this board bother to go out more they will notice that there exists many couples where the man is old and the lady is young, i have yet to see the opposite. girls love to feel secure and nothing screams security like a man who made it in life.

>>11325139
may i see it?

One time I was in the line up and the old lady behind me was complimenting me for buying real food unlike most of my generation.

>>11324907
>i don't know who keeps on perpetuating the meme that you need to date women of your age, because i am sure as hell you don't have to.
What on earth does that have to do with what I said? Egads, man.

>>11322577
>she probably thinks i'm a lazy, unhealthy bitch...
We don't have to look at your cart. We just need to take one look at your face and body to know that.

>>11325128
If someone sees the childish shit they will just assume you have a kid you moron. Buy whatever you want you fucking faggot.

>>11322577
As a former cashier, we dont give a fuck. We'll see a hundered of you people a day, we wont remember you.

Summer 2017, a local supermarket was having a weird sale on ice cream sandwiches: buy two boxes of 12 and get another three boxes free. So I did exactly that. Twice. Got four boxes to pay for and six boxes free.
>do you coach little league?
What? Oh. No. This is all for me. : )
>o-oh... okay
No fucks given. Loaded them delicious frozen shits into the car, drove home and shoved them into the basement freezer.

The only thing I get bashful about buying, though not exactly embarrassed, is condoms. I know I shouldn't be but I am. It feels weird that the register person is handling a box of things that will eventually be on my penis. Thank goodness for self-checkout.

>>11322577
(Male cashier)
I don’t give a fuck what you buy, I want to get you gone as fast as possible so I can move on tot he next person.
If anything I’ll be annoyed at having to scan 20 different candy bars but that’s about it.
Of course I’m weird and just scan in silence because of autism so maybe it looks like I’m judging?

>>11322707
>>11322702
>has to buy TP online because cashier might know what he does with it
You people are beyond pathetic. I'd recommend you find some Fentanyl and OD

>Dealing with cashiers.
>Not just walking out the door with your shit.

>>11325427
I'm married and I often stack up on condoms, must admit asking for 20-30 condoms every two weeks seems embarrassing. The pharmacist was genuinely surprised when I once came in for cold medicine

>>11322668
everybody poops bruh

i buy mine in cases of 24 from costco
>>11322577
a cashier probably sees hundreds of people in a day. why would they care about the one guy who doesn't even say hi or make eye contact?
>>11324337
stop buying junk food

There's no way you guys aren't judging customers based on their purchases. Sure, you're not writing a lengthy dissertation on their entire personality or committing them to memory, but a part of your mind automatically categorizes them as lazy, or slobs, or gym junkies, or boring housewives, or whatever. Everybody does it all the time. It doesn't take any energy or effort.

Maybe that judgement seems insignificant to you because you forget about that person immediately, but then we encounter another person and that person makes the same fleeting judgement. These social microtransactions are happening all day long. So of course we want to avoid having a negative experience every time.

>>11322577
I'm a cashier and I can assure you we don't care what you buy, we don't even remember. Just behave yourself and mind your own business and we'll appreciate that.

>>11324273
>Dies, when UPS leaves a pallet of TP on the front doorstep

>>11325476
What is it about condoms that turns me, an otherwise outgoing person, into a bashful, navelgazing autist? I'm perfectly fine buying tampons and other ladyshit but condoms just fuck my head in to buy.

>>11325509
I regularly order not only the TP, but also wipes and paper towels. They all come in boxes that clearly say whats in them. I dont give a fuck. The same none of u should care what those fucks think either. I love going through the line with 300 bucks of groceries and dropping 3 crisp hundos on those wageslaves

>>11325548
The worry that you got the wrong size for your gf's bull.

>>11322668
Try breaking the ice by saying something like "Got to lay of the Mexican. So what are you up to tonight"?

>>11322668
See, this is why I don’t understand you humans.
You have wools like you that are so self conscious you can’t buy toilet paper, and then you have people walking around begging for money to pay for the pizza they ordered 5 minutes ago because they spent their money on crack.

>>11322774
>shitting while masturbating
Is this not a normal thing? It’s so efficient, though

its the black female cashier that always comment on stuff I buy, followed far behind by white female cashiers.
the black girls almost always ask me about stuff im buying if im at a gas station getting a soda or snack or at a grocery store.
>what this taste like?
>you havin a party?
>i seen you come in here yesterday. no beer today?
I usually handle it fine, but sometimes they really catch me off guard with a line of really weird questions and I can feel the spahgetti building up in my pockets.
just leave me alone so I can get home to play jrpgs and drink alone RREEEEEE.
Ive resorted to preemptively talking to them about something unrelated as a distraction. I wish I didnt have autism.

>>11324967
>beer at 4pm
>realize what this looks like
...what does that look like? im genuinely confused. I buy beer when i get off work, so does everyone else I thought.

>>11327631
>black women cashiers
>what this taste like
This. It doesn't bother me though, but they do ask that.
The more common question is
>what's this???????
They know very, very few fruits and vegetables, so this question comes up very often for me cuz I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.
Last time, it was cardoon, which I can't fault her for, but the time before that, she asked
>what is these? i don't see no white carrots on the list.
They're parsnips.
>aight, found it. what they taste like?
Not sure how to describe it. Like a combined radish/carrot/parsley taste, I guess. idk
>what you do with these?
I boil them with carrots, potatoes and onion and mash them with butter and parsley to eat with boiled sausages. They're also good for soup.
>oh, i gotsta try that
Yeah, it's pretty good.
No one ever seems to mention the junk foods. I buy. The instanoodles. The salty snacks. The sweets. None of it. It's always the fruits or vegetables or, one time, chicken feet.
>you eat these????
No, of course not. I dry them out and wear them as nipple rings. I'm wearing one right now.

Then she gave me that look black women give when they want to say "white people crazy!" but can't cuz massa would fire them if they did.

>>11323337
step1: melt chocolate
step2: mix chocolate with milk
congratulations you retard! you have chocolate milk!

>>11322577
I feel self-conscious about buying healthy and unhealthy things at the same time. Like if I buy all junk food it's cool and if I buy all stereotypically 'healthy' things it's cool. But somehow when I'm buying both at the same time I feel like the cashier will judge my inconsistency.

>>11328005
It just helps them pass the time...