/ck/ - Food & Cooking

My only problem is I can never cum quick enough to have that scream ringing in my ears at the same time.

>>11272480
WTF??

>>11272474
>eating bugs at all
Lobster is for the birds. Stop stealing our food >:(

>>11272487
I'm from Reddit and heard 4chan was edgy. Try to stop me.

>>11272474
lobsters don't scream retard

>>11272474
>it's just the air escaping
That's true for lobsters though. Human babies would be different from lobsters in that they actually have vocal cords.

>manchildren who have never killed what they eat shitposting about stuff they have no frame of reference for

>>11272759
Yep. It's fine because there's no biological reason for lobsters and plants to express pain vocally. If we can't empathize without anthropomorphizing it means there's no inflicted pain to worry about.

>>11272767
I didn't say that though. I never once suggested it was good to boil lobsters alive or that they don't feel pain. Where are you getting that from? I'm just correcting the comic for not making sense because it's implying the air escaping explanation is a bullshit excuse when really we know lobsters don't have vocal cords.

>>11272777
Well you may not truly agree with me but plenty do. And you're wrong for not agreeing with me, by the way.

>>11272781
What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not disagreeing with you. Again, I'm only saying that comic is wrong because we know lobsters don't have vocal cords. The comic is implying lobsters really are screaming when we know that isn't true. I'm not saying anything about lobsters not being in pain or boiling them alive not being bad. Why aren't you getting this? Try to read more carefully.

>>11272474
killing a lobster is literally no different from killing a cockroach

>>11272790
Well, I think it's fine because there's no biological reason for lobsters and plants to express pain vocally. If we can't empathize without anthropomorphizing it means there's no inflicted pain to worry about. You apparently disagree, but none of my meatspace friends do.

>>11272777
but all being equal a scream is just air escaping (or being forced out) triugh a diferent system.

>>11272806
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not saying anything about the morality of live lobster boiling?

>>11272830
If you're not willing to commit to agreeing with me or disagreeing with me, don't bother responding. I don't come here looking for arguments.

>>11272840
You're the one who responded to me and tried to turn what I wrote into an argument about something I never said and don't have a position on. I committed to a position on the thing I was actually talking about, you just have an extremely hard time understanding the difference between 'lobsters not having vocal cords' vs. 'live lobster boiling is good/bad', for mysterious reasons I don't understand.

>>11272857
Yikes. It's weird, because nowadays philosophy 101 is basically available to anybody on Wikipedia nowadays. Thirty years ago a person would have to study this stuff at college.

>>11272868
What are you talking about? I'm not even beginning to make a philosophical argument so you're wrong if you mistakenly believe I'm screwing up a philosophical principle here. My argument is simply that lobsters don't have vocal cords so that comic is wrong to imply they really are making vocal sounds.

>>11272474
any decent person will stab the lobster in the head to kill it humanely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-W37TDK6dBM

>>11272878
Anon he's fucking with you really hard. Plz stop making a fool of yourself desu.

I think it's pretty fucked, honestly don't care how stupid a lobster is, cooking something alive is pretty fucking barbaric. Actually probably less barbaric and more... opulent? Vain? I actually turned down a job working in a seafood department of a store because they would expect you to do this. If that makes me a soyboy, fuck it.

>>11272956
Keeping seafood fresh would be a bit more problematic if it were all killed in advance no?

>>11272960
The fish come in dead. Would it be any more problematic than keeping any pre-killed meat fresh? We have salt, we have freezers. Unless you mean Gordon "I want that goat killed infront of me" Ramsey fresh.

>>11272956
As op showed those sons of bitches would do the same to us if they were our size.someone should make little gag balls and start saying lobsters orgasm hardest when boiled alive.

>>11272956
You do realize a lobster dies/goes unconscious as soon as it hits the water. If a human were dropped into a vat of boiling water, they would black out pretty much instantly too and die from shock within seconds.

>>11272965
Fish suffocate in fishing nets, or get frozen alive. It's a far slower death than dropping a lobster into a pot of boiling water.

>>11272977
Well that's awful.

>>11272934
What is the point to pretending like you're retarded?

>>11272887
why do we treat lobsters "humanely" if they're not human?

>>11272992
Because "humane" is describing your actions and not the lobster's you idiot.

>>11272934
>>11272868
>>11272840
>>11272806
>>11272781
>>11272767
Holy shit, I never knew we could hit such retard levels

>>11272752
They sing

>>11273019
That's the fun about this place. Everytime you think you've seen or heard the absolute stupidest shit you've ever seen, someone else breaks that barrier yet again.

Lobsters taste like all of nothing anyways, it’s one of those foods people eat just to say they eat it.

>>11272992
Have you ever looked up the definition of humane? It's not human, just so you know.

>>11272887
The lobster doesn't have a localized "brain". You're only cutting 1 spot of its nervous system. It's useless.

>>11272965
Lobsters meat doesn't keep unless frozen or cooked immediately. Frozen is nowhere near as good. It's a fucking bug who cares?

>>11273180
Lobster doesn't taste like fuck all anyway so why is it so expensive. Just leave the fucks in the ocean.

Idk that they taste like nothing. I don't like lobster it always tastes "dirty" to me.

>>11273175
>The lobster doesn't have a localized "brain".
That's not wrong, but:
>You're only cutting 1 spot of its nervous system. It's useless.
I don't think that's necessarily true. This researcher has an opposing position to yours for example:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/how-to-kill-lobster-1.4491189
>A researcher in animal behaviour recommends people kill their lobsters before cooking them, after extensive research suggests crustaceans can feel pain.
>Robert Elwood, professor emeritus of animal behaviour at Queen's University in Northern Ireland, has spent more than a decade researching the issue.
>For those wanting to show some compassion to the critters before cooking them, Elwood assures people there's an easy way to kill them "in a second."
>Before boiling them, Elwood recommends using a big knife with a sharp point.
>"Put it between the eyes on the head and plunge the knife in firmly, and then bring the blade of the knife down so it's parallel to the work surface," he said.
>A large cut right at the top of the head will destroy the brain and would be enough to kill the lobster, according to Elwood.
>"The knife goes in vertically but then you bring it down, and that should do it."
There's debate about whether you should even call the lobster's central nervous system a "brain," but I don't know that there's good evidence to suggest it doesn't kill them quickly to make that cut through the head.

>>11273186
>so why is it so expensive.
Lobsters take 5-8 years to reach adulthood. And females hold the eggs inside for 9-12 months and then hold them externally for 9-12 months.
If you don't regulate and limit the harvesting of them, it's very easy to cause the supply to be severely damaged.

>>11272812
this lol

>>11273298
His question was more regarding why is there such a high demand for them when they don't taste particularly amazing.

>>11273051
Just like DragonBall power levels!

>>11272985
>pretending to be retarded
This is what trolling always used to be. Trolling and Flaming were too different things. Classic trolling was literally just pretending to be retarded to get a response, Flaming was just going off the rails and attacking the other person or baiting them. Both stemmed from boredom but good trolling was more difficult.

Around mid 2007 these two distinct actions fell under the same "trolling, about when trollface became a popular image macro.

>>11273330
What is the point to doing that though? It seems like such a weird thing to find enjoyment in. Like imagine if someone in real life went around all day intentionally saying and doing stupid things so that when other people tell him he's being stupid he can run off to some private corner and giggle to himself that he was just pretending.

>>11273346
There's not much point in anything online, though. For all you know he was taking a shit while typing.

>>11272474
Bone cleaver with a razor's edge
I'm a soul reaver meat motherfuckin' ass laser sledge

Fuck your copypasta
I bring the meat blaster
On a beat I kick it faster
I'm the rhymin' everlaster

I'm on my Juicy J grind
Memphis shit
Smokin' on my meat
Booty paid sublime
She a temptress and I'm lit
Time to eat it

Carnivore bitches are delicious
Not too vicious
I don't wanna wash no dishes
I bring the meat up on the beat
There's no carbage in my kitchens
That garbage I'm ditchin'
Cause the meat up in my kichen's firin' up the heat in my metabolism
I think I might skeet skeet skeet along to the beat
This is meat rehabolism
Sync'd to the motherfuckin' beat of this song
With yo motha or yo sista man I bring the meat up all night long in conversation
All across the nation on every street
To the beat of this song motherfucker yeah I bring the heat
With yo daughter I'm a feed her meat until she tweet about it
All up across the inner internation
I see you creepin' with her thong
Peep-peepin' along
While I'm motherfuckin' bone in raw discussion 'tryna educate
No carbs it ain't complicate
The meat I masticate
Keeps me off my tater-tate
I'm alpha wolf
You know I'll see her later
You a beta
Just another motherfuckin' hater
Ima steal your wife just for one night and educate her
No alfalfa
I'm full
No motherfuckin' tater needed in my life
I don't need a hater
Or no motherfuckin' panty raider

Incest? Wincest?
That's some mothertruckin' shit
I ain't about cuckin' shit
Skullfuckin' ass shit?

Sheeit

I don't care what you're into
But one thing you should do
Bring the flippin' meat mothafucka
You straight trippin' on lobsta ethics
You's a sucka
I'm dippin' with 'ya trick
I'm a meat mobsta on my death mix
Carnivore clan
I'll lend your girl a hand and teach her
She can listen to my feature

>>11273330
trollface was never a macro
macro meaning words written on it

that's half the pleasure of eating lobster, OP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bDMnGiLTbc

>>11273381
>macro meaning words written on it
macro was from the something awful computer macro used in posting.

Trolling was always about charging people a sanity or time fee to cross your internet bridge you newfags.

>>11272972
https://fightdogmeat.com/2017/04/14/china-live-dog-slowly-boiled-alive/

>>11272887
My boss tried doing this and the poor bastard was still squirming when he put it in the water. Boiling will be just fine, thank you

>>11272474
It's the lobster's fault for being so low on the foodchain and being so delicious. Killing it before boiling it makes the meat taste horrible and therefore it must accept it's fate of dying via boiling

>>11272972
>You do realize a lobster dies/goes unconscious as soon as it hits the water. If a human were dropped into a vat of boiling water, they would black out pretty much instantly too and die from shock within seconds.
>>11273528
>https://fightdogmeat.com/2017/04/14/china-live-dog-slowly-boiled-alive/
I've seen this sort of bullshit myth spreading a lot. From what I can tell it's motivated by people wanting a convenient rationalization to avoid feeling bad about animal suffering e.g. the "geese love being force-fed to the point of severe injury, liver disease, and death" meme that Anthony Bourdain tried pushing a while back.
It's almost worse than people who abuse animals but don't have any illusions about what they're doing. Something about spreading around disinfo that misleads other people who maybe wouldn't have participated in the act had they not been lied to just seems especially malicious.

>>11273346
The fun is in seeing the other party flip their shit.
The "merely pretending" is for the shit trolls and actual idiots, who suddenly try to save face by back peddling and acting like they never meant what they first said.
But nowadays people who were either successfully trolled, or couldn't identify obvious satire and went full retard have started to use it as an argument to save their face instead. Which is just as sad.

>>11272501
Back to your container, plebicite. We are civil men and women of the internet.

>>11272474
Lobsters don't have vocal cords. They can't scream.

>>11273629
My engine doesn't have vocal cords either, but it can scream.

>>11272474
>boohoo the garbage eating giant bugs are in pain

>>11273565
How is it bullshit? That dog’s face is burnt off...

>>11272480
you have to edge while the water heats. there's a support forum somewhere, I will try to find the link.

>>11272474
I find the few seconds of scratching in the pot immediately as you put them in vaguely satisfying.

>PETA BTFO

>>11273758
The dying instantly when placed in boiling water claim is bullshit. How did you misunderstand that?

>>11272474
Real Question:
Why does it matter either way?

>>11272500
who said anything about eating them? I just boil them alive and then throw them away

>>11275204
Pigs blood pentagram with boiled lobster parts or gtfo

>>11272474
Don't really care for lobster, but some plebs do. As for the sound an animal makes while being 'processed' .......BRING IT FUCKING ON BABY. Gib me meat, I needs it brehs......

>>11272474

>>11272887
i don't like gordan ramsay as a person wish some one would beat him up and do some horrible things to him

>>11273346
Some people are really lonely.

>>11273346
I don't have to imagine. That's how lots of jokes work. Have you heard of satire? Do you socialise much?

>>11273330
It feels weird to read this from another person. I'm constantly regaling uninterested audiences with this information, and even the writing style is similar to mine. All that's missing is the explanation that the word "troll" derives from the fishing method, not from the monster.

>>11272474
Can you imagine a insect screaming?

Fucking hilarious, I wish they screamed I'd kill them more often

>>11272474
They're overgrown sea-bugs. We should be expanding the number of culinary applications for arthropods, not contracting it. If you want to make me guilty for eating an animal, talk about one with a prefrontal cortex.

>>11273257
The reaction to "pain" is simply an autonomous response, it's not centrally processed, they don't "feel" it.

>>11276019

>>11276019
>I wish they screamed

Your monkey paw has two remaining wishes.

>>11272767
actually, they can't really biologically FEEL pain either unlike human babies. This isn't a debate, this is a matter of facts.

>>11272474

An interesting thing about lobsters is that they KNOW theyre about to die if you cleave one’s head and toss it back in the box with the other live ones.

>be lobster on ice in box, barely moving, lethargic as fuck
>lobster bro gets snatched up and a second later thrown in the box, head cleaved in two
>freak the fuck out and flip myself outta the box onto the ground

Its gotta be a pheromone thing same as how sharks dont go near where another dead shark is, but it was quite surprising to me when i first saw it. Like im just blowing through lobsters one day and decide its easiest to just toss em back on ice to contain the mess while i kill the rest before boiling and they lose their shit every time.

BTW the meat is better if you kill it first; coud be broscience but im assuming its because it doesnt fire all of its panic hormones/muscular responses like when boiled alive.

Also: i went through a deeply suicidal phase where boiling lobsters alive was the only thing that made me feel a little better, they never ever ‘scream’.

>>11276607
I like your style anon.

>>11276726

Well thanks, bud.. It was my time to shine and contribute to a discussion.

>>11272956
Yet you cook vegetables alive all the time.

>>11276535
>one of the most hotly contested issues in biology
>not a debate
My word. If you have incontestable evidence proving the case, why haven't you claimed your Nobel prize?

>>11276787
In fact, I dare say that eating meat is the most ethical option, because it's dead when you cook it, whereas the onion that you buy would sprout just fine if you plant it - all vegetables are cut and cooked while still alive. If you're really an ethical person, you'll cut down on vegetables as much as possible, eating them only as required for staying healthy.

>>11273346
reddit is down the hall and on the left

>>11272972
>>11273565
I hate to be the devil's advocate but didn't Mengele boil twins alive to see which one would die sooner?

Lobsters really aren't capable of intellectualizing pain though. Sympathizing with a social or intelligent creature is one thing, but lobsters have a spread out nervous system completely different from ours. Don't project your emotions or intellect onto it. It's like feeling sorry for the millipede I hit with bug spray 15 seconds ago goddamnit I hate harvest-season or whatever the fuck causes them to migrate like this.

>>11276816
this is why when thr aliens come it will be a slaughter fest / harvest. Hur dur doe's evril ariens

>>11276825

You should google the word “sentience”..

Then you can also feel free to just delete your stupid post.

>>11275187
Obviously a dog is gonna live a lot longer than a lobster when u put em both in boiling water

>>11275909
Still upset, Amy?

>>11272887
>stab the lobster
>theres now a gaping hole in its shell
>all the delicious lobster juices will just seep out of the hole and you end up with watery shit lobster

i paid money for this shit im gonna cook it how i like

>>11276825
We already know what happens, then.

Spoiler Alert: Bugs lose

>>11276927

You eat lobstah guts?

Can't you just freeze them before you boil them?

>>11272764
ye, fuckin shitheads need to be taken out to a creek and bashing in a racoons head at 8 years old and then pushing it under the water until it stops kicking like i was!

>>11276991
i'm sure being frozen alive is a pleasant alternative

>>11276991
affects texture of the meat, fuck that

>>11272480
Good for you.

>>11272474
>implying we boil lobster babies
If we did, they'd not even make any noise at all.

>>11272474
lobsters can't make vocal noises

>>11272474
low quality bait

>>11272977
Nobody cares about fish we only care about animals that can blink

>Litterally can't make screams in an air enviornment
>Vegantards actually think they scream
Ololololololol

>>11276872
>Obviously a dog is gonna live a lot longer than a lobster when u put em both in boiling water
Why do you keep not reading? This is the claim that was disputed by that video:
>>11272972
>If a human were dropped into a vat of boiling water, they would black out pretty much instantly too and die from shock within seconds.

>>11276054
>they don't "feel" it
Why are you acting like that's some agreed upon conclusion? There are as many researchers who claim they do suffer as there are researchers who claim they don't. No matter which position you're more persuaded by, the one definitely stupid thing to do for this topic is to announce either claim like it's an established fact you're educating people about.

if you took a lobster's shell off without killing it and then it screamed I would stop boiling them alive.

>>11272474
lobsters have decidedly primitive nervous systems, with brains similar(read borderline not there) to insects.....they are just bundles of instincts and reflexes, not thinking or feeling animals as far as we can tell, and certainly not experiencing pain as we do or other higher evolved animals do

if you would step on a bug you can have no moral or ethical objection here

>>11277421
>certainly not experiencing pain as we do or other higher evolved animals do
No, we really don't know shit one way or the other on this question.
Just this past month a paper was published on how octopi unexpectedly react in similar ways to how people react when given MDMA, and octopus nervous systems are just as extremely far removed / differently structured compared to human nervous systems as lobster nervous systems are, if not even more so. If you look into the lobster pain topic you'll find plenty of research supporting both sides of the argument. If you want to believe they don't suffer (maybe because it bums you out to enjoy eating them if they do) or don't suffer (maybe because you're some militant vegan who wants to prove it's immoral to eat them) you can find more than enough material to convince yourself of either position.

>>11276927
>t. iuden

>>11272972
Someones post the guy that chased his dog into the yellow stone hot spring
You don’t black out

>>11272500
>birds eat from the sea floor

>>11277450
>make shit up
>then fence sit
You did not post any pics, sauce, or links
Fag

Does anyone else like seafood but think lobster and crab is over rated and tends to taste like dirt/shit?

>>11277694
I didn't make shit up, there absolutely is not a consnsus on this, not even close. The fact they don't have the same nervous systems we do doesn't prove they don't feel pain or suffer, hence that octopus MDMA example showing new research still comes up to this day that points to completely different nervous systems producing the same functional responses.
Here's an article claiming lobsters probably feel pain if you want an example of how the arguments for them feeling pain look like:
http://theweek.com/articles/736689/crabs-lobsters-probably-feel-pain-why-are-still-boiling-alive
>More surprisingly, the crabs traded off the quality of the shell against the intensity of the shock received within it. For a given intensity of shock, they'd be more reluctant to give up a high-quality shell than a low-quality one. This is known as a motivational trade-off. The crabs were balancing their need to avoid shocks against their other needs.
>In general, crabs prefer to return to shelters that they have previously occupied. But after repeatedly receiving a shock in one of the shelters, the crabs were much less likely to return to it — a phenomenon known as conditioned place avoidance.
>Motivational trade-offs and conditioned place avoidance are what I call credible indicators of pain — credible because they cannot be explained away as mere reflexes, and because they tie in with a reasonable theory about the function of pain for animals that feel it. The idea in the background here is that pain is a guide to decision-making.
>Is it conceivable that motivational trade-offs and conditioned place avoidance occur without any pain? Of course, but no one is suggesting that pain is conclusively established by these experiments. We are talking about credible indicators, not conclusive proof. If we demand conclusive proof, this will never be attained — not for any animal, not even for other human beings.

>>11276054
>pain
>autonomous response
No shit sherlock. You have no control if you feel pain or not if you broke your bone.

>>11276535
[Citation needed]

You literally cannot prove they don't feel pain. The only animal I can think of that doesn't react to damage is the mola mola.

>>11278733
What? I thought sunfish get scared and just die all the time

>>11278737
What? I thought they just used their massive size to retain heat in their bodies, basically ignoring the environment, so they can dive to depths they shouldn't be able to survive in, before resurfacing. They don't use much energy because their diet doesn't provide any, and their skin is so fucking thick and tough that most predators don't really want them.

>>11276607
>BTW the meat is better if you kill it first; coud be broscience but im assuming its because it doesnt fire all of its panic hormones/muscular responses like when boiled alive.
Is this true? I've heard the opposite

>>11278737
These fish are so massive, slow, and tank like, they can't really do anything if something decides to attack them. Their primary defenses is being massive and having a 3 inch thick hide. They're also just covered in mucous. They barely swim, and was actually categorized as plankton for a while until someone saw one actually swimming. They lay 300 million eggs, which more than makes up for their apparent lack of defenses when small.

>>11272474
Lobsters would do exactly that if they were much smarter, stronger and bigger than us

However they are not since they are sea insects so who cares

>>11275909
Gordon is a fitness freak that completed the Hawaiian Ironman and who practices MMA to stay in shape. I doubt anyone on /ck/ could take him in a fight.

>>11275187
>dogs and lobsters are the same size
Not only is a lobster much smaller than a dog, its anatomy allows water to deeply penetrate its carapace and shut down its vital functions near instantly.

>>11272956
Ironically due to the fact that lobsters have a distributed nervous system and don't really have a brain in the same way that a human does, boiling them alive is actually one of the fastest ways to kill them, because you're destroying all of their major nerve ganglia at the same time. Whereas if you split their heads in half, as is a popular method of dispatching them, all you're really doing is cutting one of their many ganglia in half, and both halves of that ganglion continue to function for several minutes.

None of that matters because they're practically bio-machines that are about as intelligent as a cockroach, and they have absolutely no moral value at all.

>>11277450
That's because an octopus is actually intelligent, unlike a fucking lobster.

>>11272474
>boiling lobsters alive
yeah I hope nobody does that. they should be steamed alive.

It really just is air escaping the shell, they don't actually have vocal chords with which to scream. Rabbits can scream, though.

>>11273257
the problem is all the retards thinking pain and sadness are the same thing.

They don't scream because I stab them in the head with my katana.
I do some sword art manuvers and pretend it is an execution for the lobster disrespecting the emperor
then i say "KWAAAAAZAABAAAA!!!!!" and stab it in the head and then pull the sword out through the front of its head and scrap it on the counter so it makes a metal FWWWWIIINNGGG sound, and then I turn my back while its liquid leaks out its head and the shadow covers my eyes so no one knows what I am truly feeling at that moment

>>11279284
this, we have a nasty habbit as animals of projectig our way of experiencing life onto other animals(like how we think certain animals smile when actualy they dont, just how they look and all) they certainly experience pain, they certainly know to avoid it but much of this can be reduced to a pure instinctual level....its more a question of do they feel it

>>11279150
>Not only is a lobster much smaller than a dog, its anatomy allows water to deeply penetrate its carapace and shut down its vital functions near instantly.
Great, now try reading:
>>11272972
>If a human were dropped into a vat of boiling water, they would black out pretty much instantly too and die from shock within seconds.
That's what it was a response to.

>>11279213
Theyre really good boiled in seawater.

>>11279284
>the problem is all the retards thinking pain and sadness are the same thing.
Nah, that's pretty irrelevant since we know very little about either of those two things, they're both subjective feelings and we couldn't even conclusively prove humans had them if we wanted to, we just sort of take that as a given. So when it comes to non-humans there isn't much to go off of except trying to either claim they're different enough from us that it's plausible to assume they don't have the subjective experiences we have or else to claim the subjective experiences are evident in the behavior and that it can plausibly be supported by more than just one rigidly defined type of underlying structure.
>>11279201
>That's because an octopus is actually intelligent
There's debate about that too. They've been memed to death as super-intelligent in the past couple of years, often for dubious reasons like a one off unverified anecdote some researcher shares with a reporter about an octopus being clever enough to escape his containment unit, and there's been backlash against it.
https://slate.com/technology/2018/03/against-the-octopus-the-overrated-cephalopod.html
That said, lobster nervous systems are a lot closer to octopus nervous systems than to human nervous systems. Also them being intelligent isn't really applicable to the point that they weren't expected to have the same behaviors we do in response to MDMA. It wasn't because anyone thought their nervous systems were too simple or that they were too unintelligent; it was because of how radically different their nervous systems are to where mechanisms by which it was thought MDMA would operate through in humans wouldn't be available in an octopus nervous system. This points to what I mentioned earlier: same functionality with different underlying structures. So that serves as a decent counter-argument for the people who point to the nervous system of a lobster and say 'it doesn't have X structure so it can't feel pain.'