/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11255877
18+ website, son.

>>11255877
Egg yolk, butter, warm it, stir it, done.

it's just a warm mayonnaise; now bend over baby.

>>11255884

>3 egg yolks and a tbsp lemon juice in a bowl over double boiler, medium heat
>whisk until egg yolks thicken a bit and heat up
>cut 1 stick of butter into pats, add 1-2 at a time and keep whisking as the butter melts until its all incorporated
>finish with salt and cayenne

I think clarifying the butter is a waste of time and totally unnecessary

>>11255877
I'm gay and vegan and I don't like that many empty calories. I've had my mom's and it was meh.

>>11255908

Retard.. youre right, everybody else is wrong.

>>11255877
1. Semen

>>11255883
>his dick stopped working when he turned 18
wew

>>11255902
I actually like the flavor of a hollandaise made with whole butter more, but it's more stable and richer in texture with clarified.

Also,
>no redux

>>11255877
Make your reduction- white wine, champagne vinegar, bay leaf, brunoise shallot, cracked pepper. Cook down, then cool.

Redux + egg yolks in a bowl over simmering water, whisk until warmed and thickened.

Gradually whisk in melted or clarified butter, just a drop at a time to start and then faster once the emulsion forms. Season with lemon and salt.

>>11255877
If you want me in your pants, don't play stupid games.

>>11255877
And now bring in tyrone, I want to watch you both doing sexy stuff.

>>11256017
>hollandaise
>reduction
It's not bearnaise, read your Gastronomique.

I'm gay you fag.

>>11255877
microwave butter in a mason jar until hot
add dash of hot sauce
crack an egg into it
put lid on and shake vigorously
pour on a shitty homemade egg mcmuffin wannabe
viola

>>11255877
>choker
No thanks. You’ve already fucked a pack of niggers

>>11255877
What a nice looking trap

>>11256008

What do you mean? Like cooking it to the desired consistency after butter is emulsified?

Thats implied

>>11255877
Why are freckles so cute

>>11255877
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT

>>11256164
>trap
that's bullshit but i believe it

>>11256204
I pretend all women are traps

>>11256213
how's that working out for you?

>>11256201
because it makes them look more like children

lol idk

>>11256201
They're not. And you know it's going to be even worse when the makeup comes off.

you know where the door is

>>11255902
>cayenne
Chef John detected

Yeah let me give you some hollondaise sauce alright

I'll give you some hollandaise sauce iykwim

>MUH five mother sauces
Is there a bigger meme in the culinary arts?

>>11255877
>thin lips
NO THANKS

>>11256527
Well, it's culturally acquired knowledge, and it's central to a lot of cooking, so I guess it's up there with the top memes in the culinary arts.

>>11256495

What ever do you mean, anon? Ive never even HEARD of fooOOOood wishes dot com

>>11255877
Ah fuck...

>>11256527
Imagine the smells in that room. I bet it smells like hollandaise mixed with gym socks and swiss cheese. Add a hint of genoa salami as well.

>>11255877
I would but i'm gay, don't know if that matters tho

>>11256158
Chokers are like black belts for sucking cock

>>11256568
>gym socks
none of those people has ever stepped into a gym

So you want me to make it like were we met, the strip club buffet line?

>>11256017
This is not hollandaise.

>>11257952
>I only know recipes from Julia Child
it is according to Escoffier and thus the culinary institute of America.

>>11257733
Found the virgin.

>>11255877
Ok. 2 egg yolks, squeeze of lemon, pinch of salt, white pepper, and cayenne. Beat. Drizzle in quarter cup of melted butter while whisking. Microwave for ten secs. Whisk. 5 more secs. Whisk again.

>>11258180

>he needs a microwave to make hollandaise

>>11258197
No. I use what I already have to make hollandaise more efficiently.

>>11255877
If you don't know what ghee is, BEGONE THOT

>>11258209

Thats not more efficient than just whisking over the double boiler

>>11258232
>he has to use a bane marie to make hollandaise.
Learn on the heat off the heat technique in a sabayon pan.

>>11258232
It's faster and requires less clean up.

>>11258257

>he thinks i dont know that technique but still prefer muh bane marie

I just like it, ok?

>>11255883
It’s legal for 16-year-olds to prepare mother sauces in my state.

>>11255877
I made a hollandaise sauce for a dairy-intolerant vegetarian once. I did get laid out of that deal, well...it's for eggs so I got laid the night before I guess but she still liked it.

Trick was to use soy milk and a little flour as thickener, together with nutelex instead of butter. The rest is more or less as usual.
As a bonus, it was much lower fat than usual and I tended to make something similar for myself afterwards just to avoid using so much butter.

>>11255877
I don't know how to make hollandaise but I do know how to make rape.

>>11258364
It’s even legal to sauce up a girls when they hit 15 if you know what I mean.

>>11256495
he's clearly trying to give this bitch the ol tappa tappa so it makes sense

>>11255877
>I'll let you have your way with me
is this how you incels think women actually talk

>>11256185
He means instead of lemon juice using a vinegar reduction.

>>11258544

You absolute fucking retard.. do you not know that clarified butter is more often than not TOTALLY FINE for lactose intolerant? Also sheeps milk/goat milk is generally tolerated as well.

lrn2dietary fucker

Uhh no I only make béarnaise sauce.

>>11255877
Stick it in, Stir it around, Finish on teets.

She looks like she has a smelly pussy so no thanks.

>>11258713
>he's never had a woman tell him to have his way with her
Not gonna make it

>>11255877

Pass

>>11257958
Any rudimentally trained cook knows that is bernaise not hollandaise.

You are wrong.

>>11259617
So you're below rudimentary?

>>11259617
Bearnaise is finished with herbs.

>>11258654
What does he mean?

>>11259747
and from escoffier another vinegar reduction.

>>11255877
for me its bechamel, the best white sauce

>>11258371
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

>>11255877
sauce though?

>>11260095
OP has already said, hollandaise.

>>11259927
I'll give you some white sauce

I go and buy that holiday sauce in the tube now show me your butt

>>11259575

>>11255877
melt 250g butter, add 2 eggyolks,1tbsp water and 1 tbsp lemonjuice to a high cup, mix with immersion blender while slowly adding the warm but not hot butter, leaving the particles behind, add salt in the end

>>11259575
The small drip at the end always gets me

>>11255877
>makes hollandaise
>gives to her
>cleans her belly button lint out of her belly button with my tongue

>>11255877
>Piercing
>Choker
You aren't sofisticate enough for my hollandaise whore

>>11259575
>4086 kcal in one gulp
Mirin' bulk

>>11260778
Based

>>11258544

That's sounds fucking disgusting yuck

>>11255877
id fuk this bitch no condom

>>11255877
Finely slice finely a couple of shallots (proper fukken shallots, not this banana shite), and infuse into some nice white wine vinegar for an hour at a nice simmer
Pass this, reduce by 3/4
Gently heat a spoon of this and some yolks in a sauce pot, beating in an 'x' and ensuring it doesn't curdle. Cook till thickened thoroughly but ensure it is smooth
Clarify some butter, and stir this into your egg base, a trickle at a time. You want a consistency similar to a loose mayonnaise.
Adjust seasoning and add a little cayenne or lemon juice depending on application
om de nom

>>11261296
Based disease dick anon

>>11259617
Bearnaise has tarragon in its reduction, and sometimes in the sauce as well. That's the primary differentiation between bearnaise and hollandaise, according to both Escoffier and the CIA. Both have a vinegar or vinegar/wine reduction.

>>11255877
Put some mayo in the microwave.

>>11261561
>according to both Escoffier and the CIA
But according to Gastronomique and le cordon bleu it's just a butter sauce.

>>11258928
She was dairy intolerant, not lactose intolerant so no, that stuff wouldn't work.
I didn't investigate the specifics of her intolerance because she'd just say 'all dairy' and I didn't feel like starting a /pol/tier debate with a girl who I want to get laid with. I just used nutelex instead.
She was a ballet teacher, you make exceptions sometimes.

>>11261017
>That's sounds fucking disgusting yuck
It was delicious. Really, the texture was ever-so-slightly thicker than standard hollandaise but not so as to be distasteful and the flavour was identical. I used lemon juice and cayenne so the the flavour wasn't down to butter anyway.

>>11262534

That means nothing.. Well played, though. Ballet chicks are my kryptonite

>tfw fetish for girls in tights
>tfw those legs and that ass

Shame about the fucked up feet but i could deal with that

>>11262549
>Shame about the fucked up feet but i could deal with that
It's funny how ballerinas are actually injured nearly all the time, you'd expect it of a pro football player or something but they're actually a professional athlete in an even tougher role.

Given everything she was, if she said she fell over and died if she tasted anything that ever came from an udder, I'd still use the substitute and do the best I can. It was worth it.
Not necessarily for the reasons you'd think either, ballerinas spend a LOT of time around gay men and they a) have a very good understanding of anatomy and b) discuss how to suck dick in great detail with all the gay ballerinas.
Ballerinas can suck dick like no tomorrow and learn from the biggest faggots you can imagine, it's the main topic of conversation backstage.

>>11262549
>>11264041
Oh and they tend to have a fetish for good strong feet. I grew up on a farm and did lots of walking and while the rest of me is average to dumpy, my feet are strong and solid. She loved them.

>>11257733
t. Choker wearer