/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:24:21 2018 No.11244864 [Reply] [Original]

>At a party
>Chilling
>Some bitch comes up to me
Anon, I can't open my beer
>Exhale and roll my eyes
>Tell her to use her shirt sleeve for grip
>She breaks the seal
>Tries again with her bare hands
>"Anon, I don't think that I can open it the whole way, would you help me"
>Tell her to use her shirt sleeve AGAIN
>She opens the beer
>She walks away
Why are women so useless

Post your bar/pub stories

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:31:40 2018 No.11244898 Posting in a bump limit thread

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:33:16 2018 No.11244904 >>11244864 >not realizing that she was trying to talk to you

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:41:58 2018 No.11244941 File: 51 KB, 629x504, 89049FA5-7719-4B4D-A9D4-71E2319FE233.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244864 you fucked up. you were supposed to open her beer for her, get her drunk, and fuck her in the ass

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:51:21 2018 No.11244981 >>11244864 this is obviously bait but it's so esoteric and inoffensive i don't even see the point

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:56:02 2018 No.11244998 >>11244864 I always play Stairway to Heaven on the jukebox.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:56:20 2018 No.11244999 >>11244981 it's a new meta bait. It's called beta

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 00:59:02 2018 No.11245010 >>11244864 The best thing about smoking (aside from meeting new people outside because smoking) is always having a lighter accessible, which means I can open a bottle in 2 seconds if I need to.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 02:46:34 2018 No.11245319 File: 11 KB, 200x237, 1392508154220.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244999 That such a quality post with it's triples on top. Feels so good.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 02:52:26 2018 No.11245337 >>11245010 Every time I'm at a gathering and someone needs a bottle open they run to find a bottle opener. >I have a lighter right here They look at me like I'm retarded, "how's that going to help". pop

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 03:02:59 2018 No.11245369 >>11245010 >>11245337 cringe and cancerpilled

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 03:05:44 2018 No.11245374 >>11244864 So it was a twist cap? Or was it a can?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 07:25:16 2018 No.11245938 File: 424 KB, 832x974, 1523807795045.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244864 >open a girl's bottle and she'll drink for a while >teach girl how to open bottle and she'll drink for the rest of her life you've done well anon.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 07:28:40 2018 No.11245945 File: 170 KB, 640x480, 1536179336309.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11245010 >>11245337 >I'm 15 and I think I'm fucking special.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 07:42:20 2018 No.11245965 File: 551 KB, 714x1108, e7bc7b981d09c2ddf288a6cba82446d38fde478c4d90bdffacd906ecd93458d5.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244864 You dummy. We do that to try to get a conversation going.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 07:57:49 2018 No.11246002 what does Raven's leotard smell like haha

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:01:53 2018 No.11246011 >>11245965 Try having something interesting to say. Women truly have nothing to offer besides a wet hole.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:17:23 2018 No.11246050 >>11245337 >"how's that going to help". What the fuck, this has to be bullshit. People open bottles with lighters constantly, all over the world, every day. Either you're full of shit, or you're 15.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:18:59 2018 No.11246056 >>11245965 Try not being a female and you'll have something to actually talk about.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:20:34 2018 No.11246061 >>11246011 >nothing to offer besides a wet hole That's the whole point, faggot. That and that they have nice soft bodies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:23:05 2018 No.11246068 >>11246061 small children have nice bodies, you wanna fuck them too?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:24:27 2018 No.11246071 >>11246068 he said that adult women have nice soft bodies YOU said that children have nice bodies are you a pedophile

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:25:33 2018 No.11246074 >>11244999 kek, good one anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:26:46 2018 No.11246078 >>11246071 You also said children have nice bodies, so really you're the pedophile here.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:27:34 2018 No.11246082 >he doesnt open it with his teeth, unleash a battle cry then perform a war dance to establish dominance beta

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:27:56 2018 No.11246084 >>11246068 It's impressive that this is the first thing you think about. Would you want to take a seat, Anon?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:30:27 2018 No.11246094 >>11244904 >>11244941 But what if he didn't want to fuck her or talk to her?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:40:49 2018 No.11246112 >>11244999 tres bien post

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 08:49:44 2018 No.11246127 File: 98 KB, 600x600, 1524583035959.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11246068

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 09:04:07 2018 No.11246146 >>11245010 Or don't smoke, and just use literally any other hard object with a corner.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 09:05:00 2018 No.11246150 >>11246094 Then he did the right thing.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 09:13:55 2018 No.11246165 >>11246082 t. The kid who was too banged up on opiates to get laid.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 10:30:28 2018 No.11246365 >>11246050 26 here, never encountered the use of a lighter in opening a bottle. I'm not familiar with the technique.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 11:37:08 2018 No.11246544 >>11245369 >>11245945 Retards who can't do it detected

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 11:39:40 2018 No.11246551 File: 62 KB, 605x681, 51A6957C-A4BA-4734-8AC0-0C6AF668BEFE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244999 B L E S S E D

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 11:42:09 2018 No.11246553 >>11244999 Checked and kek'd

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 11:51:30 2018 No.11246573 File: 115 KB, 768x1024, 5A951A3F-93F0-46FF-AC66-3538F8CD4759.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11246068 Heh, sounds like you have deep seated issues anon. Would you like to purchase some therapy sessions?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 11:54:15 2018 No.11246578 >>11246573 haha it's funny because you think people are saying "deep seated" when they're saying "deep seeded" and you thought you were smart for copying them haha

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 13:01:14 2018 No.11246770 File: 111 KB, 1080x828, Screenshot_20180924-130049_Chrome.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11246578

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 13:06:45 2018 No.11246791 >>11244904 >expecting intelligence from Raven/Starfire fans

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:01:18 2018 No.11246982 >>11246770 It bothers me you destroyed this pedo faggot and he will never respond to this

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:04:38 2018 No.11246991 File: 64 KB, 599x595, White Women Logic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244864 >Why are white women so useless White women would rather spend their time complaining than learning/doing something useful.

Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:10:36 2018 No.11247018

>>11246068
>>11246071
>>11246078
Well pedo anon is right
Kids have better bodies, average woman is a flabby disgusting used up shitpile nowadays
Kiddy holes are just unprepared for fucking, too dry and surprisingly too tight though, only a bit better than a roastie cunt in terms of pleasure

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:11:41 2018 No.11247024 >>11244904 >talking to women

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:13:15 2018 No.11247029 >>11246002 Probably smells pretty gross and sweaty haha. Just imagine the smell hahaha

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:15:33 2018 No.11247035 File: 81 KB, 640x480, California Feminist.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11247018 >average woman is a flabby disgusting used up shitpile nowadays This is true.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:17:09 2018 No.11247043 >>11247029 I have a brother who was born exactly 6 minutes after me. They found one of his fingers in my stomach.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:18:28 2018 No.11247047 >>11244864 what hentai is this from?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:22:43 2018 No.11247062 >>11247047 It's not.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 14:29:29 2018 No.11247084 >>11246770 >>11246578 Told.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 16:05:10 2018 No.11247460 >>11246573 ass

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 16:06:13 2018 No.11247462 >>11244904 you ruined the thread it could have been a fun times women were flirting with us but we were too autistic thread but you ruined it of course, dumbass

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 16:29:37 2018 No.11247549 >>11247047 I'd bet Zone-tan probably made it for shits and giggles.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 16:35:00 2018 No.11247566 >>11244999 10/10

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 16:53:07 2018 No.11247633 >>11244999 overrated post

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 17:49:34 2018 No.11247844 >>11247043 Well did you give it back?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 17:52:27 2018 No.11247859 >>11247043 You sound like a hungry fella. How fat are you?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 18:16:31 2018 No.11247968 >>11244999 Wholesome post. Can finally go to bed now.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 18:24:04 2018 No.11247991 >>11247018

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 18:28:35 2018 No.11248015 >>11246365 What the actual fuck, how is that possible?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 20:28:45 2018 No.11248471 >>11247029 you're a /fit/ poster aren't you

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 20:34:05 2018 No.11248489 >>11246068 >>11246068 >>11246068 wew

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 20:36:01 2018 No.11248497 >>11247035 I hate you for posting that picture. For me, that is the absolute pinnacle of repulsiveness. I can't adequately express how absolutely disgusted I am by that "person".

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 20:39:47 2018 No.11248513 >>11244864 Raven be stupid thicc in this

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 20:42:46 2018 No.11248523 File: 1008 KB, 1605x1039, 14719064769219.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11244864 I generally don't like ashen skinned girls, but I do like making girls unhappy so I'd bang the witch or whatever.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 24 23:50:40 2018 No.11249279 >>11244999 very good

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 03:45:32 2018 No.11250074 File: 373 KB, 1280x1016, bff008e6f5cd3fb5be39521006df79e1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11247047

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 04:50:17 2018 No.11250239 >>11245010 >Spend hundreds of dollars a month smoking a pack a day for the best aspect of having an improvised bottle opener, instead of putting a $4 bottle opener on your keychain

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 04:51:29 2018 No.11250241 >>11250239 >$4 bottle opener Wow. Is it made out of gold?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 14:14:13 2018 No.11251692 File: 167 KB, 296x360, 1537487262320.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11246068

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 14:15:24 2018 No.11251698 >>11246544 >15 y.o. confirmed

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 14:18:34 2018 No.11251719 >>11247018 H-How would you know that Anon?

Anonymous Tue Sep 25 14:53:37 2018 No.11251820

>>11244864
>haha you dont get a woman now
>you fucking virgin not like us non-non-virgins
>you lost your only chance here
>you loser

You dont fucking need any woman in your life. You are the best creation of God. A Man.
In fact you did well my son. You tried to help her when she tried to getting your absolute and magnificent sexual organ.
You dont need any woman. You just need God and your friends.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 16:02:05 2018 No.11252073 >>11245965 >we tits or gtfo

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 16:18:23 2018 No.11252135 >>11246068 What the fuck

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 16:46:01 2018 No.11252237 >>11246365 Ditto. 25 here. What kind of lighter and how to do it?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 16:48:22 2018 No.11252244 >>11244864 You fucked up you're supposed to tell her to use the bottom of her shirt so that she will lift her shirt up and you get to see her belly. >tell her to use her shirt sleeve are you retarded? how could you fuck up that bad

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 17:39:27 2018 No.11252474 File: 69 KB, 1920x1080, maxresdefault.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>11245010 >the best thing about smoking Except for, you know, the long dick of cancer.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 25 20:27:04 2018 No.11253126 >>11244999 I laughed, ty anon

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