/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11154383
You'd be nice too if you ate nothing but army rations
Wake up sheeple

>>11154383
Because he knows the world is about to end and he's fully stocked for when it happens. He will go forth and plant his seed in every female he encounters and mankind will be remade in the image of Steve.

>>11154383
He exercises, probably eats well, and has a passion that he pursues and shares with others who are interested in it - as opposed to rotting away from the inside out eating microwave meals, barely moving from a crusty computer chair, and spending all day seething whilst scrolling through an Angolan Baking Forum

>>11154455
How do I get a passion? I like absolutely nothing.

>>11154465
That's tough, unfortunately.

Best advice i could give is to force yourself to try new things. Even if it's just once or twice, if you don't like it at least you tried. Keep doing that and you'll find something you like. And don't fret over time limits, it could takes days or years. You'll be better off for having tried though. Sorry for formatting posting from phone at work.

>>11154465
This place will do that to you. Considering you're on an anime food and cooking board, look up some cooking groups around you. People meet up to learn how to cook and share recipes as opposed to sperging out over pizza in Chicago or watching dinotendies feed the local wildlife.

Lets get this out on to a tray

>>11154455
Hey, my chair isn't crusty!

>>11154661
Nice!

>Hmmm got some mold and insect carcasses
*takes big bite*
I really worry about him sometimes. How doesn't he have botulism by now

>>11154699
he's gotten it twice already

>>11154383
When did brutalmoose get jacked wtf

>>11154718
link?

>>11154383

I'm sure it helps to have an army of creepy AMSR faggots ballwashing your every move

>>11154932
what do the ASMR people even get out of steve videos? he doesn't talk in the generic ASMR whisper voice and the only "melodic" things I can imagine are the 3-4 seconds where he's stirring up coffee or a powdered juice mix

>>11154383
He really is boring as fuck

>oh wow
>I have to take another bite, can't help myself
>mm
>this is just so flavorful
>miight be the best _____ I've ever had in a ration
>I gotta have some more of this

>>11155274
This, learn some new fucking words.
All his videos feel exactly the same

>>11154449
Just as God intended.

>>11155304
these 2 are different
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_BHjLS12Qg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db19pT9lnZc

>>11154932
I wish I had someone to wash my balls for me. They're itchy and I think I have jock itch. A really submissive gay dude from /r9k/ once offered to be my personal assistant of sorts. I think he got off on degradation and the idea of being ordered to wash some gross NEET's body got him off but I didn't want a gay guy fondling my intimate parts, even though he lived close to me and was definitely up for it.

>>11155790
Why do you assume he's gay? That's a very harmful, heterocentric way of thinking.

>>11155801
All submissive men on /r9k/ are gay or on their way to becoming gay.

>>11155817
That's hate speech. Stop emulating your Mango Mussolini. Thank you.

>>11155830
I'm not being homophobic. I'm just saying he was gay.

>>11155851
But then why group all submissive men in one category and call them gay or "on their way to becoming gay"? I assume that means you've met every single submissive man who frequents /r9k/ and you were able to deduce their sexuality with your impeccable set of gaydar.

>>11154731
link for what nigga. I've only heard that he's gotten it twice.

>>11155871
Go spend ten minutes on /r9k/ and you'll see.

>>11155851
you chat up faggots, faggot. Case closed and good day sir.

>>11155851
Why do you assume he's gay?

>>11155922
I'm lonely and sometimes I get really, really, really horny. Don't judge me.

>>11155929
I didn't want to get too NSFW since this is a blue board but he wanted to do some of the cleaning with his tongue.

The reasons Steve is so popular are:
The MRE and ration community is something of a grey market, as acquiring and selling most military-issued food is illegal or sketchy in their respective countries, the USA included. There's also the matter of scarcity; the majority of the meals he posts videos on are horrifyingly rate and so command a humongous price. People interested in military history are able to live vicariously through his videos.
He's meticulous. No matter how many times he gets an accessory pack or an olive drab spork, he makes sure to chronicle it in the video. He treats these meals like a historian, not like some cunt from Wreckless Eating.
He's calm and collected. He doesn't add a ton of unnecessary bullshit and wacky antics to each video. He's clearly very reverent to the historical importance of each item he gets. You'll often hear him talk of preserving the packaging for display purposes or donating to a local historical society.
There are other things, but those are the major ones.

>>11155935
That doesn't mean he's gay. He might be bisexual or pansexual.

>>11154718
Doesn't that shit kill you?

i like the emergency rations and the eastern europe videos

His modern ration reviews are pure kino, the older ones are still fun, but you know it's all going to be rancid.

>>11156002
No

>>11155981
>He might be gay or gay

Thanks for clearing that up.

>>11154665

>>11154721
I only like his food videos. Seems pretty low iq though don't you think?

>Let's get Anon out onto the bed
>Nice
>Let's get those undies off
>No hiss

he looks like a chad reviewbrah

>>11155801

gotta love dat weiner!

I like his videos, especially the one with foul dreck in the Polish(?) MRE where he's retching off camera

guy's real, probably likes to smoke the doobie, if you know what I mean

>>11155304
>>11155274
>>11155028
he's not a fucking writer. He's a guy in Florida that likes military history and eating army rations. It's so funny that do-nothing boring faggots like you people expect so much out of amateurs that actually do interesting things with their lives, just as a hobby. Fucking pompous, armchair, self absorbed niggers. Fuck you.
If you want to nit pick his reviews while being this goddamn gay, why do you even watch it? It's always some little stupid thing you fat fucks have to bitch about, I swear to god.

>>11154465
Get a good job where the company only treats you like half a shit instead of a full shit. Passion can only come when you are living comfortably enough to focus on, well, a passion.

>>11154449
The future is bright.

>>11155871
He’s wrong. Most submissive men turn into male feminists and eventually rapists.

0311 here.
I he a Marine?
I was stationed in Oki.

>>11155972
>this
Hi yes I would like to subscribe to your newsletter!
I was going to say similar things myself but you done said it all

>>11157818
0341 here.
Oki is for fags.
deploy 3 times in 4 years like a real man.
02-06 2/8 OORAH

>>11155972
Also he's handsome and has a nice voice. I wouldn't watch any of his vids if he was an uggo. Also yes I am a faggot

>>11157372
Uunnffff I'd let him eat me like an MRE if you know what I mean

>>11154383
whenever we watch steve videos, my girlfriend brings up that she really wants to know if he has a gf and what his gf would be like if so

really interesting question i think

test

>>11157372
>I’ll give it a try anyways
>ah geez

>>11154465
Become passionate about nothingness, obviously.

>>11157818
no military experience, but he's an outdoorsman and has been since a child and was introduced to MREs while camping, from what i gather

>>11158702
I think he said a family member had a lot of them so he ate them all the time as a kid and developed a taste for MREs.

>>11155028
not very nice of you

>>11154486
Dinotendies seems to have a passion though.

>>11154731

He said he's only gotten it from eating a modern Ukrainian ration.

>>11154449
fat fuck whose going to die in the apocolypse here, i'm OK with this. Steve is a classy guy, very articulate, if I was gay I know i'd have a crush on him. As I'm not, I can only profess platonic admiration. I hope his superior genes carry the world to a better and kinder future

>>11158879
Sounds about right

>>11154449
with the amount of mre preservatives hes eaten he will outlast us all

>>11158118
His gf is rations

>>11154383
>Nice

>>11155873
Good enough for me

>>11154449
Nice!

>>11158118
Sorry to crush your gfs fantasies but steve is taken. Some /k/ guy found them at an Aldis.

>>11160996
he deserves better than that little piggy

>>11154383
does anyone else feel bad that he is going to die at the age of 45 from colon cancer from eating all that shit

>>11161010
no he really isn't
I bet your AIDS is real however

>>11155780
why does he use such a shitty knife thing to open it

>>11161022
are you talking about the p38 can opener?

>>11161001
lil oinker probably digs his truffles up good

>>11161010
Repeated exposure to botulism and other, more esoteric and forgotten toxins has rendered steve immune to most human maladies. He can safely eat radioactive Chernobyl dirt at this point.

>>11154383
I like how he's humble and down to earth about most rations, he even had a few good things to say about that horrible Chinese PLA ration.

>>11154383
He takes anti-depressants thats why his hands shake. Most likely prozac.
Still a super great guy and enjoyable to watch.

>>11154383
Cut your hair hippie

>>11161120
He says he films his videos after working out. A good lift will make your arms super wobbly, and Steve is looking pretty swole these days.

>>11161001
>blinks during photos
>has good/not great g (better than most of us)
>CAMO cargo shorts

If he's not /ourguy/ then I don't know who is

He's so hot now with the big arms, short hair and NICE clean mustache and beard. pls smash my boipucci steve

>>11161001
>>11161035
>the sound of devastated roasties
Nice hiss

>>11154383
I pick up a really strong fag vibe from him in mannerisms, voice tone and expression, not to mention the faggy hair length and mustache, so yeah, he would be /ck/guy.

>smoking the cigarettes

into the bin he goes

>>11161447
Best review or best review? A very special episode for sure.
https://youtu.be/ZSgfpTZEgGU

>>11161456
worst if he smokes the cig. bad influence and role model for children

>>11161460
The observant child will be put off by the change in Steve's behavior - he becomes erratic, almost shaken.
It's too late for the adrenaline chasers. I've seen it too many times

>>11157588
Get off his fucking jock. You know he's not going to fuck you just because you defended him on an image board, right?

>>11157372
>>11158146
Jesus Christ I am fucking dying here.

>>11161456
Watching this and several of his other videos made me want to take up smoking.

>>11158146
>yeah
>there's definitely some rancidity

>>11161120
Can confirm. Was on prozac for a few years and got the shaky hands side effect.

>>11154699
He usually avoids eating the things he's suspect of. Bulging cans, or excessive gases being released when you puncture are all dead giveaways.

>>11155972
he has a pleasant voice and doesn't talk like a pompous ass, which sets him apart from pretty much every other reviewer out there

>>11160996
>>11161001
that's not his gf, that's the gf of some guy who ran into him and took a picture

I like when he ate the civil war hardtack and said it tasted like moth balls and old books and then he ate more.

>>11158879
>eats 100 year old beef from UK and 150 year old cracker from the civil war and doesn't get sick
>eats a Ukrainian ration from only a few years back and gets botulism
ayyyyy cheki breki

>>11158879
>>11162054
I thought that was e.coli. I don't think he's ever gotten botulism because he doesn't fuck with anything that would give him that. Hardtack is literally the consistency and durability of spackle, so I'd feel comfortable eating 150 year old hardtack too, it's never gonna go bad because it's a brick. It and hard candies are things I have in my proper emergency "aw shit" box. Both will keep for three eons before they start to spoil, and when they do you can scrape off the rot.

>>11155028
It's a review of a military ration how exciting do you except it to be?

>>11155304
No the person who needs to learn new words is this faggot. Literally the same reaction for all food using the same sentence. I got fed up with it and stopped watching his videos because he puts the amount of effort in editing and going to these places but puts literally 0 effort in reviewing.

What do you think sets him apart from other ration reviewers? There are tons of them and he’s the only one with a large following.

>>11162440
full on pure deep chili oil

>>11154383
>>11160996
>>11158118

Remember according to /ck/-canon he's Emmy's bull.

>>11161928
Dream on roastie

>>11162613
Fuck off back to taste made Emmy

>>11162443
His physical attractiveness

>>11154383
Watching him eating some good ole Canadian poutine ration; nice.!

>>11162490
DEEP Muslim Street Food Tour in (insert country)
He makes a LOT of videos on Halal food. I wonder if it's Canadian seeping through

>>11160996
Freaking nice T-shirts.
>>11162613
Makes MRE thumbnail, focusing on her and her WHACKY reaction.
Fuck off low tier Ricewhore.

>>11158879
>>11162335
the absolute madman

>>11162613
She lives in Rhode Island and Steve lives in Florida. Keep dreaming, kiddo

/k/ has some threads with him once in a while, with pics of his letters and seemingly endless supply of can openers as gifts to people, his hand writing could put michael j fox to shame, but alas, the dude just keeps on truckin

>>11165547
Probably referring to this one in particular I imagine.
the shelby p-38 can opener he gives to $15+ patreons is probably something he has literal thousands of lying around (now why he held onto them is another question) because they were/are in literally EVERY US mre from before like 2000, if it wasn't dryalc (esbit whatever you call them) tablets, anyway.
Eventually he'll run out though that ought to be an interesting day because i'm sure he's gonna feel fucking nervous, as if people will suddenly stop giving him money or cancel their patron if they don't get dozens of can openers.
Also handwriting is hard, if steve is left handed (Don't imagine he is but maybe) he might have a learning disability called dysgraphia, displays prominently in left handed people, and autists. His trailing writing is indicative of it.

>>11154465
Getting a passion is a double edged sword. I love music especially guitar but I hate how much I suck at it

>>11161120
Projection

>>11154408
>spends 10+ years eating MREs from around the world
>builds up tolerance to processed foods
>is friendly and positive in an authentic way
>describes his experiences better than 100% of all mainstream foodies on major tv shows and bigger jewtube channels
>manages to make something as boring as pre-packaged food *interesting*

just think about that for a sec.

>>11154699
>botulism
thats a myth to prevent us from eating decades-old MREs and also to make people afraid of setting up their own fermentation station

>>11165665
Honestly doesn't look much worse than my handwriting.

I can't remember the last time I hand wrote anything so it doesn't really matter.

>>11160996

No way, Steve shops at Sprouts too?

ANOTHER reason why hes popular that no one of you would admit, his videos are unintentional asmr

>>11165811
This. Botulism is so small, I don't think it even exists.

>>11158100
I've heard people say LGR is cool but Clint is too much of a beta nerdboy for them to watch. as if it's any surprise that an omega nerd runs that channel.

>>11166137
Maybe, but I despise ASMR and everything about it, the quietness of it all is fucking annoying and makes me uncomfortable as all hell, I like steve because he's excited about the MREs. I don't care about him making crinkly sounds or whatever you fags jerk off to.

>>11157588
This.
Good forbid his channel gets bought out by a TV/YouTube station
>30sec dubstep intro
>*Energetic pair of 22yo hipsters*
>Hey guys
>First before we jump into this week's video we need to tell you about this coupon, link in the comments
>Like and subscribe and smash that Bell button!!! xD
>*Soyboy over reacting face pulling while opening everything
>Woah dude gross what the fuck haha
>*Throws away the coffee because it's not a Starbucks milkshake*
>*Half of the brand-name products in the MREs aren't featured because of sponsorship rules*
>Alright guys first we need to individually thank our patrons
>Ok now a message from our sponsors
And all you the video is three minutes long and has a title like
"You will not believe what they found inside" or "two guys were opening a ration pack and they were shocked when..." And
the thumbnail is of a big titted girl in a bikini.

>>11157372

>>11165665
That's dysgraphia for sure
T. dysgraphia

>>11161198

hairline is approaching JUST levels. and he seems to skip every day except arms day. also waxes his arms like a gayboy. though he has mentioned gfs in videos before - some asian who cooked for him.

still enjoy the videos but he is clearly damaged.