/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I have only one recipe I won't share.

Come on, I know some of you pretentious fuckers on /ck/ hoard your recipes. Why? I have no idea.

It's not like it makes you special.

>>11124198

What is the dish?

>>11124184

>Guy I know owns his family's Italian restaurant that's been around for 3 generations
>Food is always top notch, service is always great
>His mom always would come in Friday morning to personally make her cheesecakes that would sell out as a dessert special every weekend
>This went on for years and years, and no one knew her recipe
>Mother is getting older, son asks if he could learn how to make the cheesecake
>"no"
>This persists for a few years, the son asks his mom for the recipe so he can learn to make it to keep customers happy that expect it on the weekends
>Mom becomes too frail to make any more cheesecake
>Son pleads with his mom to tell him the recipe
>"I'd rather die than tell anyone my recipe"
>She dies and he will never know her recipe
>He tries to recreate it but the regular customers notice the difference
>Cheesecake is forever off the menu

>>11124184
this bitch literally has a block head

>>11124213

Women are a curse on this world. Vindictive cunts from birth to the grave. I guess hey have to fill their empty souls with something, might as well be recipes.

>>11124199
Of course I do, I'm not going to tell you though.

>>11124184
Just goggle the macarons OP

>>11124224

I just never understood how even on her deathbed, and even with the son pleading with his mother for the sake of the family business, she took that damn recipe to the grave with her.
>to be fair, that cheesecake was fucking banging

poison her and when she aaks for the antidote tell her its a secret

>>11124184
bitch probably got it off the first website on google trying act like shes smart and shit.

>>11124245

At least reveal what the dish is OP.
>I bet its's like potato salad. who the fuck cares lol?

>>11124199
most of the time the person wanting the recipe can't follow instructions for shit and when they fail, will inevitably blame you, saying some crap like you purposely gave them a bad recipe to sabotage them or something. much less drama to just say fuckoff at the start

>>11124213
The bitch is dead, and even now she can make me, some random asshole in another country pissed off. That's some special achievement in being a cunt.

>>11124264

It's the principle anon.

>>11124314

Yea, if I was a massive cunt I'd probably think that way too.

It's always some cunt who makes 1 fucking thing decently. They feel if the recipe is shared someone with superior skills will do it better and they'll lose the 1 thing that makes them feel important.

>>11124335
I've seen it happen. I'll share recipes but not to family or friends unless I know they can follow a recipe without making random changes then blame the recipe when shit turns out bad

>>11124343
Okay, but why the hell would you care? Just let them fuck it up. It's not like they'd hold you responsible for it. Just admit your viciously finite and impotent ego is what stops you from sharing recipes.

>>11124340

THIS

>>11124184
I would destroy her.
Actually...i would let her destroy me as i tried to destroy her.

>>11124361
what part about saying you gave them a bad recipe to sabotage them is not holding you responsible for their failure to follow instructions?

>>11124378

>saying you gave them a bad recipe
Give them the right recipe you bag of dicks. If they can;t follow it, or make unnecessary substitutions, then it's their problem.

If you refuse to give up a recipe, it just means you're a cunt.

>>11124390
fine, I'll be a cunt then.

>>11124396

Ironically, you are the last, and final person, in your life to come to that conclusion.

>>11124396

What is the recipe even? Cookies?

>>11124407
nah man, brookies. or as the northerners call em, crownies

>>11124416

They're called brownies lol. Damn, I can't believe people would sour family relationships and friendships over a brownie recipe.

I guess that's why nuclear war and human bloodshed is an inevitable part of the human experience, eh?

>>11124425
they're not regular brownies. they're a hybrid brownie/cookie

>>11124314
So you've simultaneously got this freakish complex that leads you to withhold helpful knowledge from your fellow man AND this misanthropic distrust of others that causes you to imagine the most unlikely, pessimistic events as being all but guaranteed.
Give me your ducking stroganoff recipe.

>>11124428
>they're a hybrid brownie/cookie
Oh shit, my bad. That makes all the difference in the world.

>>11124201
semen cakes with cummie frosting

>>11124201

Heating up a Cup O Noodles

>>11124477
>Heating up a Cup O Noodles
So you have a method, eh?

>>11124483

I do, but I can't tell ya ;)

people hoard recipes because they're insecure about the fact that half the ingredients come out of cans

You can taste the recipe, figure it out.

I don't really follow a recipe, I just eyeball everything. I might write down how much I use for stuff if anyone ever showed interest.

Because I spent five months perfecting the measurements and techniques and I only want myself making it for others because I assume a sense of ownership over every reproduction of it, even if it wouldn't be from my hands.

Effectively >>11124314

I love to cook for people but they will never get my recipes. They can watch me make it and take notes - I'll happily tell them my ingredients list if they ask. It's not like I have a problem with them knowing, but they'll have to make their own replica of it, so when they make it, it's THEIR recipe, which is an interpretation (even a 100% copy) of mine.

>>11124184
If a recipe isn't at least 150 years old it's worthless

>>11124213
She is in hell now, forced to eat her son's cheesecake.

>>11124529

Everyone hates you.

>>11124213
>3 generations
>It wasn't even her recipe to begin with

What the fuck is wrong with Italian women?

>>11124587
>Italian women
>Italian
There's your answer.

>>11124587

From what I was told from the guy I know, his mom took her mom's recipe and made changes to it. This also caused a rift between the two of them, especially when the new recipe was better received than the original.

>>11124612
Why are italians such faggots?

>>11124623

Everyone has doubled down in being stuck in their old ways and thinking they always know what's best for everyone.

>t. big Italian family

>>11124609

More like:
>Italian women
>women

Italians just have a harsher strain of the female condition. Not as bad as Jewish women though, oy vey!

>>11124529
You sound like a dick

Confessional, I guess. I keep "forgetting" to give an old lady a chocolate cake recipe because I think she'll eat nothing but that if I give it to her. I've seen her eat nothing but heavily frosted sheet cakes and bags of candy for weeks at a time when she gets obsessed with a new cake recipe. Feel kind of shitty about it, but I'd feel shittier seeing her waste away and die eating nothing but the cake recipe I gave her.

>>11124184
I have an old family cookbook somewhere, but the last time I looked at it 90% of the recipes were utter trash or really basic shit. If I find it I'd share with you guys.

>>11124748
Same. I make some great PB cookies, but my sister (who is a landwhale) would literally eat an entire batch by herself if I left them out to cool. She constantly begs me for the recipe when it's literally just eggs, sugar, and peanut butter.

>it's a secret
>turns out to be the first google result

>>11124491
this actually

>>11124762
can i get her number

>>11124787
(215) 752-7070

>recipe hoarder
>not treating secret (amazing) recipes as Elder God knowledge.
GTFO pleb.
NO ONE knows how to make my family's spanikopita, and no one ever will.

Greek expats cum in their pants and openly weep when they get a piece.
>we're not even Greek.

>>11124184
90% of the time a "secret" recipe is secret because the secret ingredient is some off-the-shelf product and they don't want anybody to know it's not completely from scratch.

>>11124793

This is top notch.

>>11124801
>>we're not even Greek.
Still PAY DEBTS anyway.

It's absolutely reasonable to hoard FAMILY recipes.that's hereditary wisdom, perhaps ancient.

Your Babushka didn't slave away perfecting her recipe for pickled eggs and easter bread to share it with some dickheads on the the web.

>>11124213
I can understand keeping the recipe to herself while she's alive, but refusing to give it up before death, especially to her children? What a fucking evil cunt

>>11124213
The secret recipe was probably
>Open up Sara Lee box
>Remove cheesecake
>Hide box in secret garbage
>Serve

>>11124213
>buy a camera
>hide it in the kitchen
>watch how she makes her cheese cake.

It's that simple.

>>11124396
>>11124378
>>11124343
>but they might be mean to me!!!
So you hoard recipes out of cowardice. Great.

>>11124815
Thats why you just admit its from the shelf. I make great key lime pie and when people ask me how i made it I take out the key like juice bottle and tell them to follow the recipe on it. Its funny

>>11124491
Most people cant even tell a difference between canned and made from a scratch anyway.
Well maybe some autistic chefs like i would but normies definitely wont.

>>11124529
Imagine having such an inflated and unhealthy ego you actually believe you've created some new "technique" with the same ingredients people have been using for 5,000 years. You turds really must not have shit else going on in your life than your pan of mac and cheese.

>>11124491
>half the ingredients come out of cans
So true. I've seen this multiple times.

Here's a hummus recipe

>>11124213
That's just stupid.

>>11125897
>>11124552
>>11124677
You will never make pancakes as good as me. Ever.

>>11126025

Sorry pal, I don't eat SHITcakes.
Heh, got him good.

>>11124245
absolutely meta

>>11125398
This. Imagine the NSA knowing your mom's cheesecake recipe but you never will.

>>11126025
Dark side chef over here

>google recipe
>Make recipe
>Its better than the hoarders recipe
My mothers chocolate chip cookies are fantastic. Even after my dad left her she still sends several dozen to his family events. Everyone talks about her secret recipe being so incredible and its the best they ever had its the highlight of all of these events. Its just the tollhouse recipe on their chocolate chips bags. The "secret" was that she sc

>>11126219

this is you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNr8eNP4rA0

>>11124213
That is some world champion level of cuntishness right there. Not even for ther own restaurant and her own son's furure business success did she reveal her recipe, holy shit. What a vicious selfish cunt. Really has me triggered right now.

>>11124315
>even now she can make me, some random asshole in another country pissed off
Same here

>>11124314
This seems like a hothead Italian kind of problem.

>>11124529
>Hey should we invite anon to our dinner party? his meme dish is pretty good.
>Nah last time he brought it he called us disdainful plebs for unworthy of his craft when we asked how much sage he used

>>11126542
This. Faggots never learn. At least I can delight from the fact that they're socially excluded.

It's a non-issue, if you cook a lot you'll vary your recipe on a case-by-case basis anyway. Anyone who wouldn't tell you the exact ingredients or the general techniques employed is somebody to avoid having in your life though, that's some antisocial shit.

>>11124184
It's a cultural thing. In some cultures family recipes are closely guarded secrets. In other cultures the idea is absurd. Italians are one group where it's common to keep recipes to themselves. I have one friend who is second generation Italian American. She gave one of her grandmother's recipes to an in law. When she found out they'd changed the recipe when they make it she was furious, because grandma's recipe was something sacred to her.

You can laugh at that mentality, but one could also argue it's part of why Italians (and Italian Americans) have such good food. Family recipes are serious business to them.

>>11126629
Superstitious nonnas have nothing to do with the greatness of Italian cuisine, it's the long line of chef-scientist autists stretching back to the Apicius and earlier who get the credit.

>>11126629
Never changing anything is not how you make good food

>>11126666
I'd argue not fucking with the recipe of something that's great is a good idea. The worst meals I've ever made were back when I thought of cooking as a creative thing instead a crafty skill. Because when a recipe is good enough to be passed down through a family chances are you're not going to improve the result by messing with it. Lightning can always strike, but even chefs who have signature dishes generally spent years coming up with them.

>>11126025
No. I will make them better.

>>11125369
probably this, probably something she's ashamed to tell

>>11124213
I just don't understand.

>>11124483
I use my flesh light heater. Low and slow is the way to go my dudes.

>>11124793
Ebin

i always assume when people do this there is some horrific ingredient in the dish and i'm better off not knowing

>>11124340
Winrar

>being fucking triggered over not getting what you want
Be a fucking adult and make your own recipe, you recipe thieves. No one who can make their own bomb recipes cries over not getting someone else's. Everyone ITT who cried like a little bitch over not being gifted a recipe they liked is just salty that they can't cook. Case closed.

>>11124793
>(215) 752-7070
Lost

>>11126219
same exact deal in my family, wew

>>11124636
Are you in the mafia?

>>11126219
What does sc mean?
>>11126629
I'm Italian and that's a false stereotype. There's plenty of poorly done dishes by greasy goombahs, my family included.

>>11129126
>What does sc mean?
(S)ucks (C)ock

>>11128818

>Rose Dirt Bee Cake
Recipe hoarders confirmed for being dirt poor white trash.

>Family is full of vultures and assholes.
>Mom always had to end up being the one to take care of the grandparents because everyone else was too busy, didn't want to deal with them.
>They always swooped in when they died to pick at the estates for shiny shit.
>One of the grandmas is on her last legs, hospice care, mom, etc.
>Everyone in the family swears she had good money, gave my mom shit for wanting to hoard it for herself, only because she was the only one that took care of her.
>Grandma finally dies, the vultures are circling, but we have to clean up the house before they even want to sell it because of the cigarette damage.
>Mom hands me a old, sticky wood box and tells me to put it in a trash bag by itself.
>On a trip to the dump with a load of shit mom takes the box and stashes it away in the car.
>Family is pulling a huge stink because nobody can find the recipe box, the "cooks" of the family are near frantic trying to find it, saying they wanted it for their restaurant, etc.
>Few years later we send the family Christmas baskets full of smoked fish, using a brine recipe that was in the box.
>No members of the family speak to us anymore.

>>11129194

I love your mom. I want you to tell her that.

>>11129194
>Family is full of vultures and assholes.
Not looking forward
>They always swooped in when they died to pick at the estates for shiny shit.

Not looking forward to this day for my family anon. My very wealthy grandfather has 3 families from 3 different wives, and his current wife (who hasn't even given birth to any of his children). My family is fom the first marriage, and we helped him build his business empire (especially my father and grandmother) before having a falling out with him and cutting ties for 15 years.

The useless scum from his second, third, and marriage without children who did NOTHING to help him get where he is today, but benefited from trips to Europe, luxury cars on their 16th birthdfay's, and never having to worry about anything in their lives. The worst part is, the woman who didn't even give him children automatically gets HALF the estate before the rest is fought over among the remaining children. It makes very very upset fampai.

Leave food mommy alone

>>11124213
literally only italians do this shit. fuck them

>>11129346
Why not hire a hitman to kill her?

>>11129781

She makes a decent peach cobbler.

>>11129809
Damn, that's good collateral.

>>11128527
Holding on to her secret recipe had become the single most meaningful thing in her life

>>11124486
>>11128741
The only way you should be heating up a cup of noodles is with a heat lamp

>>11126219
>>11128883
>grandma goes to a bakesale and brings cookies
>little girl asks grandma for her secret recipe
>she says she just read the back of the box
It's always the tollhouse packaging, isn't it?

My family has some dishes like that
My mom and i are the only ones with my grandmas fudge recipe
I have some pasta recipes from my granddads family that only he and i have, but neither of us make them often

>tfw even tho i believe the recipe is the exact one, the fudge never tastes as good as grandma made

They arent special really, but we want the recipes kept true to the original

>moms side italiam
>dads side French
>moms side has pasta recipes that are a few hundred years old, and while delicious are only special bc tradition
>the written copies are handed down
>dads side has 2 signet rings, one to the patriarch, one to the next in line
>dad ded
>im not the first born son
>wont get any ring until grandfather passes
>will likely never head family, definitely not for lomg
>my son wont either unless something happens
Its uncommon for someone in my family to have 2 sons so this isnt common issue
I don't resent my brother by any means, and he took on alot when our dad passed, but i wish id been the first born
I may get the pasta recipes atleast since no sister and i like cooking more

>>11130090
>brother turns out to be gay
>get rings by default

>>11129194
>Mom always had to end up being the one to take care of the grandparents because everyone else was too busy, didn't want to deal with them.

We live next door to mine and out of the 4 kids they had it's usually us they call for help with things on top of everything else we do for them.
The vulture in my family ruined a beautiful player piano because he dogs pissed all over it and chewed it up.
At least that proved to them my mother deserved my great grandmother's beautiful dining table/chairs. It's huge though, no idea where it will go. Aunt is jealous af. I'm afraid she'll pillage my grandfather's tools when he dies. :(

>>11129944
Ironically nestle bought the rights to it from a grandmother decades ago iirc.
>>11130169
>>11130090
Start turning him gay anon. Or frame him for it by spamming him with gay porn both electronically and leaving mags around the house during family dinners kek

>>11124199
I hoard a lot, some from my grandparents. I've only shown two of my cousins (11 and 8) how to make them but I haven't seen either of them in two weeks.

>>11130339
My grandfather is giving me everything when he dies because he said I visit him more than his other grandchildren and I cook for him, call him, etc. My family doesn't know but they'll probably be pissed.

>>11124750
>If I find it I'd share with you guys.
Top notch mate.

>>11130402
They'll sue for an equal cut, and probably succeed, but only after half of the wealth has gone towards legal expenses.

>>11130423
>They'll sue for an equal cut
It's not their wealth to distribute though. If he wants to exclusively bequeath it to the anon in this thread, that is his right and there is no legal recourse. Or am I missing something?

>>11130431
I think you're right but piece of shit lawyers always find a way to subvert justice instead of upholding it. They'd probably claim he wasn't in charge of his mental faculties or some bullshit and that he wasn't of sound mind to make such financial decisions.
>>11130402
Good for being a good grandson. I feel terrible I don't go over next door to see them more often but it's painful to sit for me. It's why I don't cook much either.

>>11130431
In some countries it's illegal to totally disinherit your children. You can give a big part to someone though.

>>11130169
>>11130350
He already has a son, as long as you keep the family name alive by making an heir, and arent extra flamboyantly publicly gay, noone cares
Oh well, ill get good inheritance regardless

>>11126219
Had a stroke, the secret was just scooping and placing cookies with a mechanical serving spoon so its a little taller. It makes a crispy outside with a gooey, cakelike inside. Fucking delicious.

>A friend of mine love having friends over and cook food for us
>invented alot of strange food but delicious
>never shared recipe
>one time we all got drunk
>ask her again
>still won't give in but finally said "if i teach you guys how to make it, you guys wont visit me anymore"
>we never asked again

>>11131027
Damn

>>11130792
>He already has a son
Accidents happen, brakes fail, furnaces leak carbon monoxide and the detector has dead batteries...
>>11131027
Is it true you only visit because of her food? That's sad, I feel bad for her. Is she super ugly and irritating or something?

>>11131121
That pic, top kek.

>>11131126
Not fat or ugly, just a funny normal looking lesbian, she doesn't like to hang out with girls because too much drama, so prefer to hang out with guys. And she is usually the funniest among us

Why is needing a recipe such a big deal? Who the fuck follows recipes to the letter unless you're baking? Everything should be made to taste, after a little bit of experience you should already have a pretty good idea what fits together in what quantities.

>>11131159
You're ignoring the fact that if someone asks you for a recipe, it's only polite to jot down a quick summary of ingredients and general instructions. If you don't you're kind of a cunt.

>>11131173
>it's only polite to jot down
Fuck that noise. I'll tell them how it's made. If they can't understand from a simple verbal explanation they don't deserve any more of my time.

>>11131173
>if someone wants something of yours you automatically have to give it to them
Fuck off and learn how to make your own recipes you can't cook hack.

>>11124184
Take one home and deconstruct it

>>11131173
Unless it's something genuinely innovative there's no point, there are probably already 500 similar recipes online. There are only so many ways to make things.

>>11131270

Okay. Oh, I see. You're cunt.
>This is secretly the narrative that plays in the head of every person you've ever spoken to.

Nice try, anon. You should know better than to try and procure someones secret formuler

>>11131146
Cool gal, would befriend.

>>11131312
>Okay. Oh, I see. You can't cook.
>This is secretly the narrative that plays in the head of every person you ever asked for their recipe - their hard work - without offering compensation.

>>11131330
>their recipe - their hard work
Jesus, you really don't have much to live for do you? Also I'm full on 1488, and every self respecting, white, race conscious person I know would help their racial brother/sister if they wanted help making a recipe.

>>11124184
If you're good at something, never do it for free.

>>11131344
This, if you recipe hoard you aren't white.

>>11124184
>Posts about secret aardvark sauce all day
>Complains about recipe hoarders

The absolute state of American entitlement

>>11131357

>Italians confirmed for not white.
I had my suspicions.

>>11131375

Well shit. That was the one thing I thought I had going for me.

>>11131344
>>11131357
Well, I guess that's why americans are the worst recipe hoarding offenders of all, then ;)

>>11131356
That sounds familiar.

>>11124529
I don't see anything wrong with this

>>11131356
>>11131467

For free, you say?

>>11124213
Maybe she put some "bodily fluids" into it, if you catch my drift. That's why she absolutely couldn't tell.

>>11132775

They don't call it cheesecake for nothing

>>11132641
He has no job, he has no friends
There’s a post /ck/ he’s gotta cleanse
He can heat up hot pockets when he needs to,
At 300 pounds, he’s a big guy for you.

>>11132997
Liked & subscribed

>>11124452
DADDY! CUMMIES!!!

>>11126025
There it is, the ego is out on display. Gg dude you're a massive asshole.

>>11124307
>OP
>unnecessary greentext
Lurk more

>>11134648
>>OP
>>unnecessary greentext
>Lurk more


you lurk more faggot.

>>11124184
Anything I make myself I'll brag about it cause I want everyone else to enjoy it if I die
Family recipes are offlimits however
No one getting these ribs recipes

>>11125369
This is the most likely reason. Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by idiocy