/ck/ - Food & Cooking

for the sake of shitposting I hope he lives forever

>>10974554
>I have never even once seen a jack video outside of /ck/
If what everyone says is true, ya he gon die.
Can't have a fucking stroke and continue to eat like an asshole.

I honestly can't stand Jack but I'll miss him 1000% more than Bordain.

Never before have I seen someone so inept at cooking carry himself like a master. There’s a degree of willful ignorance and arrogance that truly makes this man a remarkable individual. He has done this for years without facing the cold reality that he’s just not good. To sum it up the cooking world without Jack is like a world without train crashes or war footage. We need to see the harsh actuality that not everyone is mediocre or good. Long live Jack.

>>10974766
have you watched any of his videos?
part of his schtick is that he's lazy and doesn't know how to do anything, he played it up a lot more initially but the sentiment is still there

>>10974773
That’s not a shtick. He’s just that bad.

>>10974778
but you cannot simultaneously say "lol I suck, look how masterful I am at this"

>>10974773
I mean in his early videos okay he is learning but it's been years and he still makes rookie mistakes and fucks up basic things

>>10974554
not based on his newest “healthy snacks” video. He thinks sugar covered beef jerky and nuts are “healthy”

>>10974610
It won't die after he shuffles loose his mortal coil. Aunt Myrna lives in all of us.

>>10974786
t. Jack

>>10974825
>Aunt Myrna lives in all of us
That party cheese salad will go down in /ck/ history.

>>10974826
that you Garret?

>>10974841
Garrett owns a successful dude weed business selling his wares to celebrities.
He’s already ascended his father and doesn’t need to shill his HFCS sauce on youtube

>>10974841
[STONED CHOKING NOISES]

how many strokes had this guy had?

>>10974877
how will jack choke his son now that his arm doesn’t work?

>>10974903
Lock him in the room and fart until he passes out

>>10974554
How do you even recover from having a paralyzed arm?

>>10974930
thoughts and prayers

this is fucking sad, guys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuBpgG8VmcQ
why am i laughing?

>>10974885
2

>>10974885

that would make it a bakers dozen

>>10974934
god i want tammy to warp those gelatinous forearms around my shaft

>>10974968
You need to go outside. Get some sunlight.

>>10974983
Tammy is the thinking man's fetish

>>10974885
He blamed his first stroke on energy drinks are guarana or some dumb shit
I don’t he’s learned from his latest stroke, probably blames it on satan and not his horrendous diet

>>10974997
now that’s a big girl bite

>>10974554
why the fuck do the schizophrenic mods delete some jack threads but leave others up? you fucking worthless shites, YOU DO IT FOR FREE, GET IT RIGHT

>>10975010
they delete jack threads but leave brad and claire threads untouched
the hypocrisy is maddening

>>10975024
a lot of jack threads reach the bump limit
you just gotta roll with the punches and be ready to start again

>>10975024
well, brad threads are fine, because he's a likeable chad. claire's a frumpy thot, and jack needs to die already.

>>10974930
He's got to re-fulfill the prophecy of choking his first born son

>>10975024
they delete jack but leave brad and clarie because jacktards are one of the major sources of shitposting and thread-derailing. bradboys keep to their one single thread, jack is all over the board.

>>10975057
>ja/ck/ is all over the board
absolutely based

>>10974934
>Keto
>Sugar
Jack doesn't understand how keto works.

>>10975070

>>10974554
You can't stop Jack "Pass Me That Snack" "Death Tried To Take Him But Gave Him Back" "Make That Burger A Quad-Stack" Scalfani

so i've been doing a lot of thinking about how Jack eats. he cranes his neck forward and sticks out his tongue. it's disgusting and inhuman. but what animal does this most resemble? answer: Jack eats like a turtle. discus.

>>10975567
Turtles live long

>>10975574
because of their hard shells, though

>>10974997
EEEW.
She fucking sticks her tongue way out to take a bite like some fucking pig too?
Gross.

>>10974934
god damnit.. this fucking idiot should be eating steamed vegetables, chicken breast with some healthy fats like olive oil or avacado. Fucking Jack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muuVxDfvG7Q

wew lads... this is looking pretty sad

>>10975613
well like a turtle to be a little more precise but yeah she does

>>10975051
Lel
I left a comment on one of his newest videos of him taste testing junk food from World Market saying "I hope you're feeling better, Jack. With enough physical therapy and dedication you'll regain the use of your arm in no time! I just ordered your sauces on amazon. We're all praying for you God bless!" which he hearted and commented thanks for everything. Then I went back and edited it saying "Maybe if you choke your sons enough you'll regain the use of your right arm you talentless retard." But then he deleted it kek

>>10976147
that's not funny.

>>10976162
To you

>>10976166
to anyone who isn't an angry teen. it's not funny.

>>10974554

Someone out there doesn't like him. I mean, really doesn't like him...

https://downwithjackscalfani.wordpress.com/

>>10976194
YouTube's viewers are fucking scary. this shit is serial killer tier

>>10976194
based angry autist

Hey can you please dump all your Jack webms? Trying to help out a friend who needs more Jack

>>10976276

>they’re, uh.. f-for a friend.

Its ok, anon. Youre in good company here.

>>10976178
Nice projection, Jack. Don't strangle your son too hard.

>>10976306
t-thanks.. i... my friend loves Jack
>>10976316
HE'S A VERY GOOD BOY

>>10974942
Thanks for asking, Tom.

>>10974773
His "shtick" was that he has a really mild form of down syndrome

>>10976276
Ok here we go

>>10976018
>only 4 minutes
I miss when he put effort into his videos and they were 13ish minutes each. The skits and shots/explanations of basically every step.

>>10976336

>>10976344

>>10975613
Now just imagine that ridiculous tongue play on your anus, when she shuts your last meal out of your cornhole.

>>10976347

>>10976336
>>10976344
>>10976347
>>10976351
my sincere thanks. do you happen to have the nacho salad one?

Why is he populsr on /ck/?

>>10976351

>>10976366
Not sure what that one is, is that the name of the original video?

>>10976384
can't remember right now. what about chicken wolverine claws?

>>10976384
I believe Anon is talking about either the Lazy Man's Enchiladas or the Five Layer Dip.

>>10976398
Ah I have that one

>>10976398
>>10976415
that's the one. much appreciated!

>>10976415
That's fucking prison food tier.

>>10976415
No wonder he had a stroke of that's what he's eating.

>>10976393
Hmm I thought I had that one but I can't find it

>>10976490
i mean that's a pretty great consolation prize. thanks dude

>>10976478
Incredibly rude. I'll pray for you.

>>10976501
>that limp right arm

>>10976380

>>10976522

>>10976380
what in the fresh hell is this

He is eating KETO now so he will probably die from heart disease fairly quickly.

>>10976534

>>10974825
Aunt M*rna is a trans-dimensional shape-shifting vampire and her recipes are Abyssinian horrors

>>10974812
that's because he literally only cooks when it's time to film. it's not like Jack cooks all day every day lol, clearly.

>>10976642
I mean abyssal–fuck auto-correct.

>>10976645
You type like a fag and your shit's all retarded.

I feel sorry for him and his bum arm

>>10974554
Wait, he’s also a pedo and a stormtard

>>10976693
I despise the guy but, proof?

>>10976699
https://downwithjackscalfani.wordpress.com/jack-scalfanis-atrocious-behaviour/

>>10976147
Pot lel

>Jack had a stroke again

Despite hating him so much I feel so bad and I want him to be okay :(

Dude is so unhealthy. Probably has not legitimately exercised in forty years.

>>10976753

>>10976767
He blamed his first stroke on drinking energy drinks because he was "working so hard making videos" instead of his abhorrently, shitty diet and morbid obesity.

>>10976147
Childish as fuck behavior. Wait until your mom has a stroke and then make fun of her.

He is still someones dad and husband.

>>10976775
t. Boomer

>>10976693
lol, child abuse refers to him choking out his teenage son because he pushed his step-mom over some stupid fight over pot. Then he kicked him out of the house and his life. Probably for the best considering he is doing much better than Ja/ck/ all things considered

>>10976775
Cry more you fat nigger. He's a shitty person and a manchild who made no measures to improve his lifestyle and diet after having a stroke. You sound like a redditor.

>>10976780
>He's a shitty person

You have zero idea the quality of person he is. Stick to /v/, you don't belong here

>>10976783
He is a child abuser that supports genocide, so there is that.

>>10976783
He admitted to choking his son until his nose bled. I don't know about you, but I think abusing your children makes you a bad person. Nice projection by the way, /v/edditor. I'll be on /ck/ longer than your mom will be alive after she has another stroke lmao

>>10976801

>>10976804

LADS

>>10974885
>brb having a stroke :^)
too many times i guess

>>10976801
This never fails to disgust me. It's not even the cross-section, it's the way it's initially presented. The cheese slice is so big you can't even see the burger. The bun looks wet. The vegetables inside look way too thick.

>>10976783
>t. newfag with some sense of moral superiority
educate yourself dipshit, you have no idea what you're talking about.

>>10976812

>>10976194

>i thought /ck/ was obsessed with jack for the longest time.
>its just some autist that comes here and false flags jack to try and get him shade from 4chan FOR 3+ FUCKING YEARS.
>Jack becomes a loveable goofball and people like to joke about him now forever becoming Americana memes.

Losers can't stop thinking about winners.

>>10976490
is that Steven Seagal? He really let himself go

>>10976825
Yes.. and yes

>>10976825
I love how gracefully she moves while he just flashes gang signs and has a seizure as he awkwardly paces around at a distance. Was he actually drunk?

>>10976830
can you tell me where this video is from? Judging from their looks I would guess Kazakhstan or Albania.

>>10976842
It's a Chechen dance so I would guess Chechnya

>>10976842
>>10976846
This is what it's supposed to look like:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEW8bDQTBBg

>>10976856
>this what is supposed to look like
what the fuck was he thinking? flailing around like an idiot.

>>10976867
he's a textbook case of narcissistic personality disorder

he didn't do it wrong, those chechans do it wrong

>>10975160
Sorry, but where is the sugar?

>>10974825
Literally who?

>>10974934
What happened to his arm?

>that feel when even someone like jack has banged more chicks than you and making money on the internet cooking worse food than you make

>oh god what i have done with my life

>>10977026
he had a stroke again. from my personal knowledge i expect it's likely he'll regain use owing to his technically young age

IF he completes extremely intensive physical therapy every day for years. And honestly, do we think that's going to happen?

>>10976835
She really does move amazingly.