/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>What about the restaurant? Did he lay the foundation and build the building himself?
>No chef he hired an architect
>Bloody hell

>What about the local government, ensuring safety standards for water and building codes? Did the owner participate in that?
>No, chef, he elected a representative to do that.
>Unbelievable!

>what about the meat? did he raise and slaughter the animals himself
>non chef, he bought it from a local farmer
>F U C K M E

>What about the reviewer? Did the owner find someone with credentials outside of celebrity chefing?
>No chef, he got some idiot whose greatest attribute is the ability to swear at people
>Fucking cunt!

>>10962391
gordon managed/owned multiple michelin starred restaurants before he became a celebrity chef you dolt

>>10962899
And in the public eye he made it patently obvious that he had nothing to do with any success that those restaurants saw.

>>10962259
Lel

>>10962899
You’re dealing with people whose education comes solely from what they see on television.
Don’t even try, anon.

>>10962112
>orders crabcakes 2k km from nearest ocean
>you are saying they are....frozen?
>y-y-yyes sir
> fuck me

>>10962912
Says the guy defending a faker. Seriously, it's sad.

>>10962913
Lol Ramsay is so stupid. They are FRESH frozen. There's no difference.

>>10962952
I remember that episode. People still claim that something is "fresh" after it's been frozen all the time, too. It may be within date, safe to eat, but it's not fresh.

>>10962391
honestly though, you've never worked or even been in a kitchen until you've heard swearing and insults at least 10x as bad as Ramsey.
You can tell the guy tones it down for the cameras.

>>10963437
In F Word he seems to be acting the most naturally.

Incredible memes, my lads.

>this is the thin crust?
>yes, chef
Fuck me

>do you know how to put food on plates?
>no chef
>what the fuck

>Do you make your own air?
>No chef, this is a space station. We recycle our oxygen until we get new shipments of compressed gas.
>Fuck me.

>>10962112
>did you microwave this according to the directions?
>no, chef
>why the hell not?
>through years of service it's lost power...it's gone from the strength of 1100 to 800
>you did good. rustic.

>At least tell me you made the clothes you're wearing in house! give me some hope that you have just a glimmer of an idea on how to run a fucking restaurant.
>No chef, our uniforms are store bought
> You've got to be fucking kidding me!
>Sorry, chef.
>have you ever even seen a cotton field in your life?
>No, chef.
>how the fuck do you Expect to run a soul food restaurant in bloody TEXAS if your he'd chef doesn't even know how to pick cotton!?

>>10962913
>2km
Wat?

>The fish, did you catch it ?
>No chef, this is Lichtenstein

>>10963754
2k km, aka 2000 km

>>10963791
fuck me

>>10962112
>And the Lamb Sauce, is that made with real lamb?
>No chef...its a pan sauce
>Fuck me.

MY NAMES NINOOOOO

>>10962913
Maybe they shouldn't serve crabcakes then.

>>10962906

Well if it's in the public eye please, provide us with that evidence.

Coz rn you just sound like a jealous cuck who hasn't achieved any form of success in their lives so is hating hard.

>>10964684

Retard. A pan sauce is made using the meat drippings. So it would be made with real lamb unless the person is a MONG, like OP.

>>10963918
akka 20000km k m kkm

>Look at that! What is that?!
>It's a spider web in the corner.
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU SERVE FOOD TO PEOPLE LIKE THIS?!

>>10965912
I wouldn't eat at a place with spiders either.

>>10965930
Every place you've eaten at has spiders

>what are these
>icecubes
>what, you're serving your customers FROZEN FUCKING ICECUBES
>y-yes chef?
>fuck me

>Did you create yourself?
>No chef, me dad came in me mums cunt and I slipped out 9 months later.
>9 months. Not even freshly made. Fuck me.

>This ice cream, was it frozen?
>Yes chef
>Fucking hell

>>10962112
>That's the thin crust?

>>10966131
kek

>this thread yeah, did op make it fresh?
>chef we have its been in the catalogue constantly for weeks
Bloody Hell

>This knife, is it grorious nippon steeru, folded over 1000 times and forged by an old Japanese hermit?
>No chef, it's stainless steel and factory made.
>I'm shutting this place down.

>this sushi, is it raw?
>yes chef
>christ

>>10966131

>>10966131

Post signs of a great episode

>Owner/chef is legitimately deluded but not a bad person
>Something about the restaurant is extremely tacky
>People lie to Gordon’s face repeatedly even though he keeps finding out
>Gordon served food he later discovers was rotten or contaminated
>Unbelievably stupid mistake - sandwich shop closes for lunch, soul food restaurant cooks everything in a wok
>Bizarre menu item - grilled salad, steak cooked on a roof shingle
>Restaurant has a few clear problems Gordon can actually solve
>Owner or chef is a nice person in over their head and listens to Gordon
>The restaurant stayed open for at least two years after the episode.

>>10967113
I like the ones where the restaurant is a complete and utter mess and the owners are horrible people. Gordon then does something at the end like give it a makeover or something, but you just know that the place is going to continue to be awful

>>10963468
I haven’t watched that yet, but I saw boiling points and you can tell he really is/was an angry cunt. Honestly calms me down whenever I watch it because I realize it isn’t a good look to be like that.

(YOU DIED)

The one that pissed me off the most was I think season 4's Blackberries. He buys them $10,000 stoves, redecorates, and I think gets them a top of the line smoker. It's the one where he found a dead mouse in the entry way.
after he left, she changed all the awful decorations back and went back to doing shit her way. but she still kept the expensive stoves and smoker, the fucking cunt.

and I love Flamangoes because of the hideous decor, that's exactly my taste in decorations and design.

a knob of butter
JUST a pinch of salt

I AIN'T NO BITCH

>>10967113

>Owned/Chef starts thinking with their cock half way
>Gordon nigger whips them with glee for 40 minutes
>Gordon pulls up their contract to whip a nigger down the road of his putrid business

>>10967887
>Splash of olive oil

>>10967922

>>10963754

Fuken' americans

>>10967868

Does Gordon pay those redecorations with his own money or what?

>>10968159
how many km did you travel to the moon?
asshole foreigner. get off my website

>>10968173

>4chan
>American site

>>10968173
How many American scientists built the vehicle that carried them? None, the Nazis won the space race.

>>10968203
Yes but the Americans beat the Nazi's which absorbs all of the Nazi's accomplishments into their own

>>10968203
I doubt a single scientist built that vehicle. Designed it? Sure. But the people who built it were good 'ol American laborers. The welders, pipefitters, riggers, plumbers, electricians, machinists, mechanics, etc, sure as fuck weren't flown over from overseas.

>>10968173
There sure was a lot of great things on the moon. Totally worth the cost.

>>10962952
Do you know what fresh means?
Does all your knowledge come from marketing buzzwords?

>>10963754

>>10968214
>>10968231

10968240

Are you being serious? Honestly even if you are shitposting is pathetic. I wont't even give you a (You)

>>10968237
>What are ic's

>>10968231
WE

>>10963754
Jesus

>>10968214
>Mfw American troops raising a Flag over the Reichstag
>Mfw American education
>Mfw my face is a hammer and sickle on red flag

>>10967868
They get paid to be on television in the first place so it might just be part of the contract.

I wish american companies made less horrible cooking tv shows, they're so ridiculous with their drama I can only watch british shows.

>>10968172
>Does Gordon pay those redecorations with his own money or what?
I'm sure its paid for by the producers of the show. It's part of the cost paid to film each episode.

>>10968290
Well what are they?

>>10962112
>Did you make this apple pie?
>Yes chef
>Did you make it truly from scratch?
>Yes chef
>What ingredients did you use to make the universe
>What? universe?
>The universe, did you fuckung create it!!!
>N...no chef
>You fucking donkey

>Right, what did you use to cook this?
>A standard kitchen stove, chef
>Fuck me. You don't create your own heat source? What kind of restaurant is this?

>>10968349
Lol you dumb fucking American.
>Intermediate catheter

>you there what is this shit
>soup, chef
>soup? ITS DRY. THE FUCKING SOUP IS FUCKING DRY.
Gordon is shocked to find the soup burned once again

>>10962968
The biggest meme is "fresh baked." I used to work in some shitty supermarket bakery and that's what we were forced to tell customers when they asked if something was fresh. Then if they specifically asked if it was frozen or not we had to tell them, but most people wouldn't ask they would go "fresh baked, sounds great!"

Fresh baked just means we pulled it from the freezer and popped it into the oven. Or mixed some shit from a giant bag (the mix being full of preservatives) added maybe a few fruit or some shit, then popped it into the oven.

>>10968198
>made by american for the american anime audience
>many boards geared towards americans and american influence
>not american

>>10968328

Damn, show must have a pretty good audience then

>>10968482

>geared towards american and american influence

lmao you say it like america has some sort of culture, you people are so mixed and bland literally anything looks like it was made for (You)

>>10968282
You are absolutely fucking retarded beyond compression.
Are you that Indian chef by any chance?

>>10968496
>made by an american
so it's still an american site

>>10968496
The impotent rage of yuropeans is sweeter than the finest candy. Yum.

>>10968361
>Gordon is actually an eldritch being far older than time itself, trapped by ancient code to try to futilely help floundering restraunts

10968504

Shut the fuck up or go back newfag

>>10967796
To be fair, boiling point was when he wasn't even famous and was probably the most stressful point of his life. Now that he has millions of dollars and is already a successful chef with multiple micheline star restaurants he's just putting a show for the cameras.

>and this dish...what do you call it?
>w-welsh rarebit
>ahh I see, delightful
>thanks chef
>just one question though...
>yes chef?
>what country are we in
>chef?
>what country. are we in. right now.
>c-chef it's just the name of th-
>HOW CAN THIS BE WELSH IF WE'RE IN GEORGIA
>chef I just-
>OUT ALL OF YOU! WE'RE NOT SERVING FOOD FLOWN IN FROM WALES!!!
Gordon shuts down the restaurant and spends the next 48 hours searching for Georgian rarebit

>>10968620
I wouldn't know where to go back to though, could you be a dear and show me were you were posting last week before you discovered the sekret club?

>>10967113

>restaurant is failing hard
>cant get any customers
>food constantly sent back to the kitchen
>Gordon:"How would you rate the food?"
>Owner:"I think its a 10/10, so I dont know what the problem is."

>>10962952
>I'd like the fresh one please
>Fresh as the day they were caught Sir. loaded on the lorry, taken to a processing unit for freezing, drove to an airport, shipped around the world, taken by a lorry to a central distribution center, stored for an unknown amount of time, distributed to regional centres, sold on to fish dealers, transported to the dealers, stored for a unknown amount of time, transported to the restaurant, stored for an unknown amount of time, defrosted in a fridge and then served, all the time keeping it optimal temperature to locking that freshness in Sir.

>>10968173
NASA used and still uses metric. So does our military. What accomplishments does the imperial system have to its name?

>>10968942
Every scientific organisation everywhere uses metric. I don't even understand why America still clings on to imperial. Metric is easier and simpler for even a dumb fat scooter driving mongoloid to use.

>>10968973
America does what it wants and other countries have to accommodate its whims.
>organisation
Unless you're a bong, kys

>>10968942
>>10968973
Imperial is easier to apply irl. Plus our superior American brains allow us to learn Metric without any effort.

>>10968973
>it’s harder to use therefore the people who use it are stupid

Amazing lack of self awareness here.

>>10969020
Give me an example where it is easier to apply?
>>10969031
Yes doing something in a convoluted way is indeed stupid.

>>10968973
Then why do I have tools both in imperial and metric? Why Bart?

>>10969045
Foot and inch, for example, are much easier to use. Say you pick up a chunk of wood, anyone who knows imperial could tell you if that was about a foot or not. But with metric, what are you gonna say? Oh it's like 25-30 centimeters maybe? It's that kind of real life application that shows the value of imperial. It seems arbitrary because it is, but that doesn't make it stupid.

>>10969047
>hey man this is 3/8ths I asked for 5/16ths

>>10969072
So it's better because it's easier to say foot than it is to say 30cm? That doesn't make sense.

>>10969128
Jesus christ I don't know how to explain this to you fucking retards, it's like we don't even speak the same fucking language. Fucking retarded nigger, evolve into an actual human, develop speech and then come back and I'll fucking try again.

>EVERYONE, come here NOW!
>Look at this shit! This fucking pan!
>The fuckin' iron, it's WROOOUUUGHT!

>>10969138
I just don't understand. Are you implying that people are only capable of evaluating the length of things in feet.
>That thing looks like it's about 40cm
>That thing looks like it's a bit over a foot
How is the latter better?

>>10969072
>baby duck syndrome
There's nothing innate about either system. It just feels that way to you because you've been using it all your life.
t. burger

>>10969161
It's a lot harder to imagine 40 of something rather than 1 of something.

>>10968240
flash frozen seafood is fresher than actual "fresh" fish unless youre getting it straight off the boat. stuff marketed as fresh fish is just the same frozen shit but defrosted first

>>10969262
No, not really.

I mean, I can't speak for the mentally challenged I guess, but for a normal person? No, it's not.

>>10966131
>and your head chef, how old is he?
>41, sir
>years? fuck me

>>10965887
More like 20000 hectometres or 200000 dekameters!

>>10969262
But I could use the same logic.
It's much easier to understand 1 meter than it is to understand 40 inches.

>>10969096

>try to add metric numbers together on the spot
>1.23 + 5.63 = ???
>easy as fuck

>try to add imperial shit together on the spot
>7 9/16 + 2 5/8 = ???
>let me get my calculator for this bullshit

>>10969161
You know by saying it is a good, that's pretty much the length of an average person's shoe. By saying it is a foot, you know that give or take from each step, is a foot, therefore by imagination steps taken or feet you can grasp the distance much better with visualization.

This is why we use meters for science, math and engineering, and the American system for cooking, art, dancing and daily conversation.

>>10969349
>>let me get my calculator for this bullshit
Why? Even if you can't do fractional math in your head, it's easy to convert to decimal and then add that.

>>10969349
>imperial units can never be expressed using decimals

>>10969352
What if you are Shaq or a midget?

>>10969349
>metric numbers
Do you buy any chance mean decimal numbers?

We should all switch to binary and please the Omnissiah.

>>10968198
Literally obsessed

Right now I'm watching kitchen nightmares where he's at a soul food restaurant. Holy shit I cannot stop laughing. It's like a Ramsey /pol/ mashup

>>10969442
>That robot arm, did you make it
>No, for it was made by the omnissiah
>Fuck me

>>10962968
99% of the time you're not eating fresh seafood unless you literally are living on the coast itself within eyesight of a fish market. Plus most seafood is brought in already frozen anyway.

>>10969072
But that just doesn't make any sense, if you pick a chunk of wood you can easily tell it's dimensions by centimeters too

>>10969262
Are yous serious anon? it's not hard to imagine 40 centimeters at all, have you ever seen a ruler in your life?

>>10969666
>satan laughing at soul food
this thread is now cursed

>>10967113
Any episode where the kitchen/waitstaff know whats up

>>10970070
this, a lot of seafood is frozen on the boat these days anyway.

>>10970250
not for your mum imagining dicks, that slut just clears the cum out of her left eye and takes a peek if she needs a reminder.