/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10908888 (nice digits)
>My wife
get off 4chan l0zer

>>10908888
take her for a drive.

>>10908888
depends.
what is that curdled mess of a pie supposed to be to begin with

>>10908888
Who made the pie?

>>10908888
Get all of her panties out of her dresser and floss your ass with them. Make sure to really dig in so you get good, solid contact with your anus. Then fold them and put them back. She'll wonder why her clean panties smell like ripe assholes and probably think it's from her and become really anxious and self conscious about smelling like an anus.

>>10908888
literally what's wrong with you that you're posting about how you're mad at your wife for a piece of pie fell on its side

>>10908925
my fuckin gay bf cause im a faggot who amkes the same motherfuckin thread every motherfuckin other day on this board because im uninteresting in life and thought

Stale ass pasta. Snore

>>10908939

someone thought of this and took the time to type it up on the internet

Capsize dat ass.

>>10908980
Took less than 2 minutes desu

>>10908888
ask her son if he'll swap slices with you

Beat her. Not for tipping your pie, but for making such a shitty looking "pie" to begin with.

>>10908996
this but unironically

>>10908888
Next time you cook for her, make her spaghetti and meatballs and slap her in the face with it.

>>10908888

>>10908888
That's the newest trending serving style you dumbass.
Go to any high end establishment in NYC, and that's exactly what you'll see. But don't expect it to be free there. Nor prepared with love.
OP you don't deserve a wife. She's too good for you.

>>10908888
Give me your wife. I will fuck her, and then beat the shit out of your kid.

>>10908888
This stale shit repeated again? What a waste of quads. Die painfully, fuckhead memester.

>>10908888
Flip it back up right and slide it over on the stuff that stuck to the plate. Now you have flavor on both sides of the crust.

>>10909131
it's a deal!

>>10908970
huh?

Get in the car, bitch. I SAID GET IN THE FUCKING CAR.

>>10909187
based huh poster

>>10908970
huh?

>>10908888
THIS post again. and yet, quads. What did he mean by this?

>>10908907
Do with this what you will.

>>10908970
huh?

>>10908970
h
u
h
?

>>10908970
?huh

>>10908888
Let me give you some personal insight on the matter.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>10909332
based

>>10909332
wtf omfg im calling the polixe

>>10909332
Did you do this irl?

>>10908888
>just capsized
>just
>picture filename has datestamp of two days before Christmas in 2017

reeeally makes u think

>>10908902
>muh digits
>4chan is /r9k/
Go back

>>10908970
huh?

>>10909542
Why else would I go to the effort of writing all of this out right now?
It worked for me. I expect it will work for OP, too.

>>10908970

>>10908939
That's no way to be a cool poppa.

>>10909182
Pick me, instead! I'll beat her and then fuck the shit out of your kid!