/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10776041
>I need to eat steamed beets to literally save my asshole
Go on

>>10776041
The classic thing to do is to add goat chesse and honey to them

>>10776041
They're filled to the brim with sugar. It's hard to make them taste bad. Some people boil them in sugar water, but they're idiots. Try drizzling them with oil and salting them and roasting them, too. There's absolutely no possible health reason that would demand you steam them. If your doctor insists, he or she is a quack and you need a second opinion.

>>10776041
peel them before you cook them. stop blaming genetics

>>10776073
It's not that I need them steamed, it's just that they absorb bile better when steamed apparently, and there's supposed to be a large difference
>>10776067
you don't want to know
>>10776072
I actually tried honey, and it was almost worse than the peanutbutter, but I'll try it with the goat cheese next

>>10776086
>you don't want to know
I asked for a reason

>>10776041
>beets
>flavorless
Wut
Admittedly I've never had steamed beets, but I've never found beets to be flavorless.

>>10776096
Alright man
I've been suffering from bile acid diarrhea for years because I'm a retard and have a terrible diet and ruined my digestive tract. It's now to the point that if I eat something that triggers too much bile, it literally runs through me without absorbing in the intestine like it should, so several times a week, I'm trapped on the toilet for anywhere from ten minutes to an hour shitting pure, salty bile. It burns my anus to the point of near unbearable pain, I've nearly thrown up in pain a couple times. After doing a pile of research, I've discovered bile sequestrants. There's prescription drugs, but I'd like to take the "stop being an idiot and eat healthy" approach first before resorting to that. There's a few vegetables like kale, collard/mustard greens, broccoli and spinach that are supposed to help act as natural bile sequestrants (which are on my shopping list too) and the beet is supposed to be the strongest in the catagory. On top of that, research indicated that steaming all of them improved the effect over even raw, which is why I'm trying to find more steamed beet recipes. Granted, I'll still try other types of cooking, especially if they're more palatable, since anything is going to be better than nothing

>>10776103
It's hard to describe. A lot of people compare it to dirt, but unless I just haven't eaten dirt in a longer time than I thought, I don't think so
It almost tastes like that diet soda flavor, but on it's own, without the rest of the soda, a sort of neutral, flat taste, with just a tiny hint of metal

>>10776123
Weird. Have you tried pickled beets?

>>10776113
LMAO. Screencapped.

Make some borscht, that shit is delicious.

>>10776113
Steam some beets whole, grate them afterwards and eat that like a salad or as a condiment. Wash it down with some kefir. Sounds disgusting probably to you but you seem desperate enough to try.

I drink kefir and eat a shit ton of beets and its pretty great. Maybe use steam beets for mashed potato kind of meal.

>>10776131
I actually have not in years, ironically my mother always made them when I was a kid, and the sharp smell drove me away from them (though to be fair, that's going to be the smell of vinegar, not beets) I might just ask her to make some more
fortunately there's a farmers market in town next thursday where I'm certain I could get some as well

Dude seriously just chop it up bite sized and steam them. They are so fucking good just like that. Add to that the scare of bloody shit (maybe the norm for you) and it is one of the best vegetables

>>10776113
this is worse than the 'empty nose syndrome' guy who cried on /sci/ for years.
changing your diet sounds great, but if you really 'ruined' your digestive tract just take the fucking pills.

>>10776141
Using it on salad sounds like a decent idea, I'll be buying a pile of kale and broccoli (and I actually love steamed broccoli) so I'll try making a salad that way
>>10776148
Who's that and what was his deal? Rest assured that I don't mean to spam anything for this
I mean, if this doesn't work I'll still be going to the doctors, but they're going to recommend diet improvements anyway. Worst case scenario I get to be glib and tell them I'm already doing it

What on earth did you eat to fuck up your guts like that? fast food 3x a day with soda as your exclusive drink?

If you make borscht be sure to make it the "right" way or /ck/ will absolutely flip their shit, as I have found out the hard way.

Russian Borscht:
1 onion, chopped
3 cups peeled and chopped beets
2-3 cups of shredded cabbage
1-2 cups of meat
1-2 cups of diced carrots, bellpeppers, parsnips and potatoes to taste (optional)
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons sunflower oil
2 1/ 4 quarts stock or water
a pinch of dried thyme
1 large bay leaf
fresh lemon juice
salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the garnish:
2/3 cup creme fraiche (or sour cream)
a few sprigs of fresh dill

Heat some oil in a hot pan and brown the cubes of meat. Sweat off the chopped vegetables with the butter in a large pot, add 3 tablespoons of the stock or water. Add the meat. Cover and cook slowly for about 15 minutes, shaking the pan occasionally.

Add the remaining stock or water, the thyme, bay leaf, lemon juice, and seasoning to taste.

Bring the soup to a boil. Cover the pot and turn down the heat to a slow simmer. Cook for about 30 minutes.

Optional:
Strain the vegetables and reserve the liquid. Process the vegetables, or a part of them, in a food processor or blender until they are smooth and creamy. Add back to the soup.

Why not get beetroot juice? Bit of earthy aftertaste, but blows over quick.

>>10776173
Just a lot of junk food, especially potato chips, over the years
Thanks for the recipe, I'll screen cap it and try it out!

>>10776041
JUST WILD BEETS
COMMUNICATION

>>10776152
>Who's that and what was his deal?
He had nasal surgery, some tissue removed, and afterward was in a constant state of discomfort.
Not merely uncomfortable, for him it was dysfunctional, essentially life ruinous. Worse than before the surgery, his attention was consumed by it all the time.
There's some dispute as to whether the condition is 'real' as in physical or psychosomatic and whether it can arise due to illness or normal/happenstance type of injury or is solely iatrogenic (the result of medical intervention).

I didn't mean to imply you would spam the board.
I used the word 'worse' b/c you're talking about problems of the pooper and that sounds fucking awful to me.
I hope you find a method that works for you.

>>10776202
Ouch
no joke, I had nasal surgery to remove a cyst when I was like 10, glad I didn't turn out like that guy

Well, the Aussies and kiwis put beets on their hamburgers, OP. Maybe you could try that.

1. Steam/roast beets, grate them with some fresh horseradish
2. Steam/roast beets, cut them into matchsticks and mix with greens like spinach or rucola, bit of vinegar and olive oil
3. Stew lots of carrots, beets and parsley roots and red lentils, add some liquid (stock, water, few cans of chopped tomatoes) and blend it...you can add some spice like cumin, garlic etc...

>>10776041
Juice it with better fruits and veggies, fry it, make beet soup (which is actually beef broth colored by beets).
>>10776190
>recieve Relina's birthday invite
>her gagle of friends applaud
>rip it up in front of her
>she starts crying
>wipe her tears away
>whisper to her, "I'll kill you, you bitch."
And that's how you deal with vegans.

>>10776041
steam them with fennel seeds, add lemon juice, and som shredded apple it will taste great!

OP here, signing off for now, but I want to thank everyone for their help, I'll be doing some grocery shopping tomorrow to try these out

In Central Europe we make salad out of beets.

Cook, peel and grate or slice thinly
Add oil, vinegar, salt/pepper, caraway seed and chopped horseradish (optional I suppose)
very refreshing

>>10776113
10/10

beetroot tzatziki is really good
basically you just steam or roast the beets, then grate them into some plain greek yogourt (you can strain it through a cheesecloth first but it's not necessary) then add some minced garlic and lemon juice and stuff. lots of recipes for it or adapt a normal tzatziki recipe or just wing it according to your tastes. It makes a really nice dip for some nice bread or zucchini fritters or whatever.

For Kale i highly recommend Maangachi's method for spinach
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4JgJec4QQI
Just cook for 1-1.30 for kale because it's tougher and maybe put the stems in first
It works well because Kale is nicer if you heavily season it like she does
I do sesame oil + rice wine vinegar + toasted sesame seeds too as alternate seasoning

good luck with your asshole OP. Even if this food doesn't help your asshole and you need the pills, it's still good

>>10776288
I do almost the same and I think the horseradish is a must! Such a great combo.
That’s a typical slav thing....

>>10776141
Beetroots and kefir....man, this is the most Russian thing ever

>>10776313
shredded vinegar pickled beets based cold soup. You place whatever in it (typically fresh cucumber, par boiled potato, leeks, boiled eggs, sour cream)
fat kefir is the same idea as sour cream + water, it's not some yakult jizzy thing people sell as kefir overseas. The search term for kefir cold soups is tatator.

*steam boiled
lul

>>10776113
just blend them and drink it.

>>10776288
>tossing the horseradish on top
>not mixing it in
>how do you хpiн

>>10776041
I like roasted beets with a simple homemade vinaigrette, you can eat warm or cold.

>>10776113
What do you have to eat to destroy your insides like that?

I agree you don't need to make them steamed, priority #1 is just getting them into your system. Try a quick salad with canned beet shoestrings. Drain and rinse beets, add to a bowl with thinly sliced celery, green onion, shredded carrot, Italian dressing, and salt and pepper to taste. I also noticed you included spinach/kale on your list of foods that would help, tear some of that up and add it in, too.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biff_%C3%A0_la_Lindstr%C3%B6m

Just get a poop transplant

Harvard Beets are nice.

boil shred
add mayo and garlic
or mayo and walnuts

>>10776041
pickle them
roast them

>>10776592
Thanks man, I will check this out. Soup sounds great.
Btw I make my own kefir from milk and kefir grains....

Top tier /ck/ thread. I don’t care if I ruined it by saying it bite me. Now I wish I had beets to add to my salad.

>>10776202
Definitely psychosomatic. I can get anxious about what I percieve as symptoms and get thrown into a feedback loop.
Just reading about "empty nose syndrome" made my nose and sinuses feel very hollow (which they are...) and uncomfortable.
Kind of like "you're tongue doesn't fit in your mouth" and "you can now see your nose."

Chipggia beets. Regular beets taste like molasses and dirt to me. Chipggia beets have a crisp taste that's still a bit gross but probably 10% of the disgust factor present in normal beets.

>>10778175
a non negliglble amount of chink doctors have been stabbed for denying its existence so sufferers

In Italy, I slice them, add vinagar, olive oil salt and cannes mackerel

>>10776113
Mmm. Some new pasta.

>>10776113
Dead serious - eat oatmeal for breakfast then beans+frozen veggies for lunch for a week straight. your shit will be immaculate after

>>10778317
An ape eating a monkey. How queer.

That's Chiogga beets lad, red and white stripes but cooks red pinkish. U can make some Ninja beets steamed boiled roasted whatever make a dressing of rice wine vinegar,sesame oil (Just a few drops) some olive oil and grated ginger scallions and a touch of Asian spices and cilantro or parsley. .

>>10776113
dried beat chips? maybe mixed with fruit in a smoothie, part of a stuffing, squashed and baked into a bread or cake, would pickled beets be okay to eat?

>>10776041
Make juice out of them.
>A few kale leaves
>Some lettuce
>Three stalks of celery
>One lemon
>Carrot
>Beet
>Apple
>Ginger
Juice it all.