/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10689214
We banned all discussion of wine, beer, scotch, rum, and so on, in exchange for this

Thanks hiroshima

you are asking for it

Let me give you some personal insight on the matter.

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. We met in high school, and I got her pregnant.
She is and always has been a lazy person and a shit cook. I wouldn't even mind eating shit food if she at least made it on time. But she rarely did.

We'd get into screaming arguments constantly about how lazy and worthless she was. I felt like an asshole for it, but goddamn she was a real piece of work. The only reason I dealt with all this was for the kids, and also because the sex is great.

But one night, I got fed up. Not only did she get drunk, neglect the kids, and made me top Ramen for dinner, but she decided to give me attitude too. She was being real fucking bitchy. So I told my grandparents to keep an eye on the kids and told my wife we were going to go out and have dinner together. I drove maybe 3 blocks to a quiet area (we live in Oregon, it's not hard to find a quiet field) and I got out of the car, went around like I was going to open her door for her and let her out, and I just beat the shit out of her while she was still seatbelted. After a few punches, I asked her if she wanted to go back to her parents. She started screaming and yelling and said yes, so I beat the shit out of her again. Then I asked her what she wanted to do. She finally got smart and said she wanted to go home. So I took her home and dared her to start trouble. I even handed her my cellphone and dialed her mom's number on the drive home. I made her talk to her mom, while daring her to fucking say something.

Before that incident, I had never laid a hand on her. But I had always threatened it. I told her "one of these days, if you don't straighten up, I'm going to lay hands on you."

All my meals have been on time, and she just recently tried to make a meatloaf. It was mediocre, but I was just thrilled that she tried.

Do with this information what you will.

>>10689221
Based domestic abuse poster

>>10689218
You mad I slid your Wendy's thread anon? Or just mad you are still a virgin?
Also al/ck/ is doing fine over at /bant/ dumbass. We're better off there anyway.

>>10689214
Nah dude it's too late, you do the cooking from now on, do it to the best of your ability, maybe that will motivate her to git gud, maybe she will just leave the kitchen to you.

She can wash the dishes.

>>10689224
>my shitposting is ok because others are also shitposting
>I can't control myself therefore nobody can have nice things
>everyone who disagrees with me is an incel
Going for a 3 in one are we?

>>10689221
if this isn’t pasta you aight anon you aight

>>10689228
Idk how you could be on this board for more than a week and not have seen that posted at least once

>>10689225
After two years of marriage I'm still having to remind her to rinse dishes she puts in the sink so they are 10x easier to wash. :/
Having said that, she did three loads of washing today, tidied up a bit and vacuumed.
On top of that she says she took Bub to the park which I have no reason not to believe.
I guess I just want the full package.
>>10689221
Great story anon and I'm kinda proud of you for putting her in her place. I could never do that however. Other than the can't cook for shit and kinda dumb as a tack at times, she's pretty good.

>>10689218
No, what was banned here were the annoying and unconstructive weekly AA meetings that should honestly have gone somewhere better like /adv/. Actual discussions about spirits are still welcome here.

>>10689246
New mod detected. For future reference what you do is you cyberstalk someone you don't like until you find a trivial infraction and ban them for that. That way they can't screenshot evidence of your abuse of mod powers which can cause embarrassment for you later when you do damage control

>>10689246
>>10689257
Is this a good wine to use cooking and get plastered drinking the rest of it?

>>10689337
Australian wine is for cooking. It's not going to make you sick or anything, but it's not something one normally buys for enjoying out of a glass

>>10689350
Well, which wine do you recommend to get hammered? <$20 please.

>>10689246
Did they seriously ban the al/ck/o threads? Thats a fucking sin! They were a staple of ck/ culture, they never spread beyond their own thread. Fuck that mod.

>>10689354
Just to get hammered? If you already have the wolf blass, just get some oranges and apples, chop them roughly, and pour the wine over it with ice. If it's not going fast enough add some cheap brandy, I suggest Romate Solera Reserva

>>10689214
my dad did all the cooking as a kid, who cares

>>10689358
They basically wiped all discussion of alcoholic beverages from the board for a 3-4 day period, and banned any mention of alcohol on sight

There was tremendous backlash so now they're trying to spin it as a campaign against social vice and "we're really modern and enlightened here, if you mention a glass of beer with dinner you are one of the good ones and we're on the same team"

This is an effort to sow divisions within the community

>>10689358
It's over at /bant/ now. Please head over there. It's a sin I agree, but I'd love the old crew to keep up the tradition.

>>10689360
I fucking care. I don't want to do all the cooking just because I cook better. Besides I'm not a stay at home dad like yours was. I'd like to look forward to coming home to a nice meal in stead of just telling Wifey what I want taken out of the freezer for me to cook that night.

>>10689376
What does she do with all her free time? Im a stay at home dad and the kid doesnt take up most of my day. It tethers me to the house but he doesnt take all my attention.

>>10689386
Yeah she should be practicing making food I love I know.
She keeps the house clean, sure, takes good care of our ten month old, great, but yeah she totally could do more.
I need to have a chat. I'm thinking to print out the top ten recipes I'd like her to master and get her to at least try twice a week.

>>10689396
Youre playing with fire. But if it works itll be worth it.

>>10689257
This.
He hunts threads I post in now because I butt hurt him with logic too many times. I hope some autist has a giant screen cap with all his failures. His typing is so distinct, you can feel an upset person through the screen

>>10689386
>>>10689376
>What does she do with all her free time? Im a stay at home dad and the kid doesnt take up most of my day. It tethers me to the house but he doesnt take all my attention.

Realize the new mom can be doing easymode roasts and sides with all that prep time. Just leave her recipes to make, from your favorite potato salad to casseroles. Eggs are the first thing they teach in cooking school, so send her for that. Broken yolks, sadly are not so much skill as old weak eggs, and poor equipment. An amazingly slick new nonstick, and good thin large spatula is probably best for newbs.

>>10689365
Mod shill. Fucking stop you piece of garbage. We are posting here. We are not leaving our home. You can be a defeatist all you want. I'm a prick and a fighter, to the last

>>10689396
Have you tried beatings? It’s the best way to deal with women.

>>10689358
>They were a staple of ck/ culture
They were a blight, it was basically a pity party. Glad they're gone. You should leave too.

>>10689414
Your mom

>>10689421
Don’t tell me what to do, woman

>>10689409
I use the same pans and almost never have an issue with a perfect egg, so that's not the issue.
>>10689414
I'm as pissed off and disappointed as you are anon. But what would you have me do? Create another al/ck thread and get banned yet again?
I'm just trying to make the best out of a shitty situation.
I NEED MY AL/CK/ THREAD!

>>10689426
You can find the same posters from the alck threads of old lurking nearly every alcohol thread posted. Only a matter of time before the admin realizes there will be almost zero board traffic if Muslim law is fully instituted

>>10689437
Good to know, thanks friend.

Did they ban /sip/ threads too?
It would be astonishingly hypocritical of them to ban al/ck/ but not /sip/.

>>10689447
No, /sip/ is still around

>>10689214
>I'd be happy to begin if she could make eggs on toast without breaking the yokes 80% of the time.

That's more hand/eye coordination than the ability to follow a recipe. Maybe get her into baking? It's easier than cooking in many ways, it could be a gateway drug. On the other hand, you might end up with a whale.

>>10689447
I don't like sip threads either but they aren't on the level of grubby self pity that the alcoholics threads were. If they were your only change to meet up with other degenerates and talk about how hard everything is then consider topping up your next drink with bleach.

>marrying a woman you can't have an honest conversation with

That's some real autism right there. And worst of all, your sons will grow up to be just as autistic and spineless.

>>10689437
Do you really believe that you guys are the majority

>>10689480
Don't forget they're seeing double most of the time.

>>10689214
>>10689237
>I married someone for how they were and now I want to change them for my personal convenience

What do you offer to her besides cooking? You're obviously not supportive and not good at communication, and overly critical of her to boot. If you wanted a wife who cooks you should have picked one that cooks. And look at her more as a person with likes, dislikes, talents etc rather than a machine that you get things from, because that's kind of how you describe her and I'm sure she feels it from you too.

>>10689493
>overly critical of her
Only negative I've said all thread is her cooking, everything else was positive, m'lady, or are you a typical feminist who only reads what she chooses to?

>>10689475
What the fuck are you even on about? I've said she's agreed with me that her cooking ability is substandard.
My query was if I should get her in the kitchen practicing now, whilst pregnant, and with a 10 month old, or wait it out. Such faggotry on /ck/ tonight.

In more important news, what are you drinking tonight /ck/?

>>10689512

I'm saying that you were such an autistic faggot that you didn't see this shit coming a mile away. Did you even live together before marrying the slut?

>>10689512
It's not just that you said her cooking isn't great, but the extreme terms you used ("piss poor," "can't cook for shit") and the fact that you said that even though she's a good wife, good mother, good lay, and keeps your house clean you just want more. Being "overly critical" is focusing on her one negative trait rather than being grateful for all she already gives; if she cleans your house and raises your children well, she's already a right side better than most modern women, why are you complaining?

>should get her in the kitchen practicing now, whilst pregnant, and with a 10 month old
Fucking no, you selfish douche. If you already like cooking, why are you trying to make her do it? If she liked to cook or would have liked to cook, she'd have made an effort to learn already.

Especially when she's pregnant and concurrently raising a baby. You should be more worried that she's getting enough help and love, rather than whether or not you're getting enough work out of her.

>>10689214
Why not go to couples cooking classes as a fun thing to do together so you avoid the awkward conversation and she gets better at cooking.

>>10689530
>if she cleans your house and raises your children well, she's already a right side better than most modern women, why are you complaining
Well, this is a cooking forum so it doesn't make sense to discuss that other, unrelated, stuff here.

>>why are you trying to make her do it?
Cooking is a basic life skill. It seems insane not to know how to do it.

>>You should be more worried that she's getting enough help and love,
True, but what does that have to do with a cooking board?

>>10689537
>True, but what does that have to do with a cooking board?
Your relationship problems in general have nothing to do with a cooking board.
If you had asked maybe for books for beginners, beginner's recipes, or something like that, then maybe you could have argued your stupid thread belonged on a food and cooking board, but you didn't even go that far. You came in here asking for relationship advice on a subject tangentially related to food and cooking. None of us cares and it seems most of think you're a tool.

>>10689530
It is piss poor, and she admits she can't cook for shit, woman. Jesus.
Also she's an entire 12 weeks pregnant, no morning sickness, so I don't think it would be too much of a stress or should I say 'a trigger' so you understand more clearly, chopping and baking some veges could be a good start but you seem to think that all women, youself included, are free from all any any responsibilities even in the early stages of pregnancy.
Just fuck off outta here already, you are making feminists look even worse than they already do.

>>10689543
>Your relationship problems in general have nothing to do with a cooking board.

So why are you discussing them if you know they're off topic?

>you
I think you've mistaken me for OP, anon. I'm guessing you're a silly roastie who fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker.

>> None of us cares
You seem to care enough to keep posting.

>>10689543
Not even OP you dumb cunt.
Fuck, we've got a downie here tonight boys.

>>10689548
I'm not a feminist, and I love to cook and do all the time, hence the reason I like to post on a food and cooking board.

You're really fixated on the feminism aspect of this and kind of ignoring how everyone thinks you're kind of a dick to your wife. She's great at lots of things, and you already like to cook, so you shouldn't have a problem. You shouldn't feel like you can "make" another person do/learn something, regardless of whether (or why) you married her.

>>10689553
>>10689559
>be talking to OP
>someone replies to me again
>DURR UR STUPID FOR ASSUMING IT WAS OP AGAIN
It's an anonymous forum. If you don't want to be mistaken for other posters, adopt a trip. also
>two people calling me out on I'M NOT OP DURR
>only linked one reply in my post
Faggots.

>>10689221
Unless this happened 60 years ago, you're full of shit

>>10689480
no, just the majority of the adults
let’s be real here, if you’re a regular on /ck/ you’re either a broken child or a broken adult. I’d rather shitpost with adults, it’s less depressing
t.not even an alcoholism thread poster, I just want to shitpost about alice feiring, yotam ottolenghi, joel salatin, and weeb swords without getting flooded out by fast food and hot sauce

>>10689658
You forgot about the largest segment. Autists of all ages.

>>10689512
Ive been thinking about this. Do you think shed be interested in watching some of the beginner oriented cooking shows.

Another idea would be just have her do the cooking for awhile and suffer through the mistakes. Because practice and experience is what she really needs.

>>10689218
based and redpilled mods
go back to discord if you niggers want a circlejerk
>2018 still caring about nu-chans fate
LEL

>>10689612
Stop responding to copypasta you dumb noob

>>10689480
4chan is not a democracy. Fuck the majority.

>>10689214
>I married her for the pussy because I like cooking
what

you could have just kept poking the pussy. and if you liked it so much why did you even marry? it is a FACT that sex disappears after marriage or after a kid is born. women also then think they got you so they stop doing what they used to do before you signed. and if you live in CA and you've been married for 10 years and get divorced, guess what - you pay alimony FOR LIFE and child support of course

>>10689221
>not recognicing pasta
>in the cooking board
That's the true joke here

Most women are completely useless, as are most men. Women that marry men who do nothing and become a lazy loser that sits on the couch and watches sports and eats junk food is equivalent to a lazy “stay at home” wife. For the single and unmarried anons here, do not marry someone that does not know even the most basic of life skills. Do not marry someone that has no ambition, wants to dictate what you do or what you buy, cannot cook, and cannot clean. This is why divorce rates are so high - NEVER marry for pussy alone

There was a great thread on /o/ yesterday about a guy who married a useless woman that does not work, only started driving at 25 years old, and wanted to dictate what car he buys with his money. It might still be on /o/, check the catalog

>>10689421
oh you’re right, unlike the 25 daily autistic sip threads and mcdonalds shitposts

>>10689819
remember when you niggers went ape shit and made 20 threads about your shit general?
i for one welcome the decision of the based mods
fuck off to your rapefugee thread on /bant/

>>10689531
>Why not go to couples cooking classes as a fun thing to do together so you avoid the awkward conversation and she gets better at cooking.
Unless she's dumb as a rock she'll understand why you're taking her. So the conversation will still have to be had.

>>10689214
Do what you'd do to anyone who is starting out cooking regardless age. Bring her into the kitchen with you, have her help out with chopping and various tasks while you are in charge. Make sure to show her how to use her knife properly and safely and have her take over side dishes. Don't forget to have her help you taste everything for seasoning or doneness and that she understand what things should look and taste like.

After that it's just about ambition and interest, if she's done something properly with you beside her but still can't do it herself she's either uninterested and a hopeless case or simply insecure.

>>10689729
>it is a FACT that sex disappears after marriage or after a kid is born.
Ah, burger science.

>>10689214
I taught my gf to grill last night and she hated it. She said the charcoal popping was scary.

>>10689214
oh no it's british

you and she will never learn to cook silly

just buy a deep fryer.

>>10690474
>thinks women don't use sex to trap men into marriage and then withhold it once married to get what they want out of you
You need to get out more and interact with the "fairer" sex occasionally.

>>10689221
>there are “men” in this thread *right now* who don’t hit their wives