/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10679843
I too want all my neighbors too see whatever i am doing.

All that glass is great - until the first big storm, tornado, hurricane, etc.

Id be fucking all the feminine sissy bois

You would all make food for me and I would judge it fairly. Those that displease me shall be culled, those that please me shall live for that day. When we get down to reasonable numbers I shall select my harem and allow the rest to live as slaves to maintain the home.

Would you survive /ck/?

>>10680031
Would you? Someone like you would probably be kicked out within the first 6 hours.

>>10680035
You would be killed before even trying to remove me you fool, im your god. Did you not read what I wrote you ignoramus? I am the decided here, not you, pitiful anon.

>>10680041
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>10679848
This.

>>10679848
if you live in such an estate, chances are you don't have any neighbours near enough to spy on you

>>10679843
I'll make eggs
You fags will have to eat all of it

>>10679843
You leave dirty dishes in the collective sink, and I'll slit your throat(s)!

>>10679843
you really want to share a house with a bunch of drunks and autists

>>10679843
Don't touch my fucking mustard. It cost me 10 freedom bucks to get it here. I'll be back in a few hours to make a killer sandwich. Don't fuck this up for me

>>10680521
A-anon I...

I'd put hot sauce on everything so you soyboy faggots would have to go hungry and starve

>>10680571
Me too.
>pic related

>>10680031
Gonna be hard for you to eat anything when I tear your fuckingg jaw off

Why the fuck are you all LARPing as assholes? If we all lived together I'd just suggest we split for pizza and ask for flavors since it's impossible for everyone to work one home kitchen.

Why can't we just chill, drink, and share stories?

>>10680019
I'll be tag-teaming all the traps with this guy, sharing awkward high fives and constantly telling ourselves it's not gay when we both know it is

>>10680581
Why would you think you could even get close to me? The others know full well that it is by my hand that they are spared or culled, they wouldnt allow you a moment of life. The fact you wouldnt even try to please me proves you have no cooking skills and never deserved to be apart of our house.

>>10680571

id put hotter sauce on, checkmate pussy

>>10680587
This.
I'd befriend you anon.
No larping necessary.

>>10680596
Fine by me faggot I'm the hot sauce master

>>10679843
*drinks out of the milk carton*

>>10680593
Everyone thinks you're an autistic fag and only puts up with your delusions of grandeur because you pay double your part for groceries and don't leave your NEET cave except to eat silently and sperg out once in a while. We all really just want to take turns running a mandolin over your body.

finally, some good fucking food

>>10680612
fuckign come at me cunt ill tie meat tenderizers to my fuckign fisst and go megaman on your fucking face you disgusting bald balled little bitch ill chew u out like i did your disgusting food your pathetic no good cook and u never fucking deserved to be in this house now leave with shame or die like the faggot u r u cheap fucking whore of a beggar

>>10680530
...

>>10680455
Sorry, I'm busy, I'll get around to cleaning it tomorrow morning.

>>10679843
I'd just sit in my room and drink black coffee and smoke cigarettes while browsing /ck/

>the vegan roommate that spergs out frequently and throws away all the animal products when we're not around
>the al/ck/ that keeps finding a way to bring back alcohol even though we've had several meetings with him
>that /sip/bro constantly complaining about heart murmurs
>the tv that constantly plays ja/ck/ or based steve1989
>the fight that happens every time anon brings back fast food
>the pantry full of deenz and 50 different hot sauces
>that stash of 'vark no one owns up to buying
>that glaring sign that reads "NO SOY"

I brought my gf over for dinner guys

>>10680691
>the terrifying cries of the 'needs it bros' that we collectively locked in the cellar

Just gonna whip something up...

>>10680691
>every time someone opens the fridge, cries of "do americans really eat this" heard throughout the house

>walking downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water only to run into several anons preforming some occult ritual over a pile of sleepy time chickens

>>10680721
Americans of course aren't allowed in the house though because they are obese and retarded and will eat all the food and leak shit everywhere out of their wrecked assholes

>>10680739
Nice bait. You're probably from Ohio.

>>10679848

this shit on the top of the mountains nigga plebians cant see u from down in them slums

watch this for me

>>10680691
>the anon that washes the cast iron
>the anon that screams at the anon washing the cast iron