/ck/ - Food & Cooking

So, like a trifle except worse?

>>10675448
Seems fun. What do you use to poke the holes to get the right size and remove the cake from the hole?

>>10675474
I use a carving fork but a regular dinner fork also works.

>>10675456
Most trifles look like total abominations to my tastes. Just like a gooey mess....not my thing.

How to spot a bad recipe in seven words:
>>Make regular box of yellow cake mix
To the image macro with you.

>>10675563
>How to spot a bad recipe in seven words:
What the fuck did you just say

>>10675563
>How to spot a bad recipe in seven words:
what are you? a fucking retard?

>>10675733
>>10675860
Obvious samefag.

>>10675563
>he's too stupid to substitute that part of the recipe with his own cake recipe
don't blame others for your own problems anon

>>10675456
A trifle is just custard and sponge-biscuits layered on fruit and dressed with whipped-cream. This is actually a clever twist on the idea.

>>10675563
You would be surprised at the number of high-end cake bakeries using '''bad''' recipes according to your arbitrary definition. Educate yourself before you try playing food-critic.

>>10675456
no like a jelly cheeescake

>I don’t like cake because it’s too sweet
>I do like cake which has been soaked in sugar syrup and gelatin. Very light and refreshing, not too sweet

What?

>>10676030
Do you not see the difference between a spoonful of Jell-O and a spoonful of buttercream icing? OP doesn't like the latter because it's too heavy as well for his tastes.

>>10675448
>>10676001
jelly is gross
end u're miserable existence

Mom used to make this all the time i miss childhood obesity,it was fun while it lasted

>>10675448
How did you get the holes so evenly spaced?

>Yellow cake
>Pour jello all over it

Seems bored housewife as fuck but I'd try a slice. I might have to make one.

>>10677387
An angel food cake slicer works great for this sort of thing or just get a new hair pick and keep it in the kitchen drawer.

A trifle with no fruit or custard and not enough jelly...

>>10675563
>Using store bought flour

Your cakes are garbage unless you grow and grind your own grain.

>>10677534
>growing grains from existing species
Your cakes are shit unless you breed or engineer your own grains to grind to make your flour.

>>10675448
>Exposing the secrets of Jello Cake to the world.
The world was not ready for flavor of this magnitude you monster!

>>10675474
There is this crazy invention called a "toothpick"

>>10677458
Sometimes bored housewives make good things.
Sometimes.

Eggy bread > french toast

A few eggs, a few tablespoons of milk, salt pepper, soak slice of bread in it, fry on a medium heat with olive oil or clarified butter.

>>10677552
Chopstick would be better, you want a larger diameter hole.

This stuff is pretty good, especially when you think about how cheap it is and how piss easy it is to make.

>>10677607
hell yea i love eggy bread, normally i'll use it to make grilled cheese

>>10675448
16ounce glass
6oz yogurt (raspberry is my fave)
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
5 tablespoons brown sugar
1/8th teaspoon salt
1/8th teaspoon vanilla extract
whole milk

Mix all dry ingredients completely.
Add milk just enough to mix dry ingredients well. (whisk)
Add all other ingredients and mix.
Top up to 16oz with milk; stir.

Place in freezer. Stir every 30-60 minutes until smooth and nearly completely frozen, but not solid. Eat.

>>10677548
>>10677555
>>10677458
You can also make it with pudding mix, but you usually have to add more milk to the pudding.

>>10675448
Holy shit that looks fucking vile op.

>>10677998
It is vile. Not OP but my mom makes shitty midwestern housewife tier garbage dump food like this and has made a jello cake before. My little brother loves this kind of garbage especially candy fruit flavors.

Jello "poke cake" is just another literal flyover condensed soup casserole tier "recipe" for fat old women who can't cook. If OP's mom could bake half as well as she sucks dick he wouldn't hate cake, but I'd bet $30 OP has never had real buttercream frosting, only HFCS shit out of a plastic tub.

His mom then keeps the plastic tubs as tupperware.
#justmidwestthings

>>10678155
You are one miserably bitter little faggot. I don't usually mean it when I say this but, get help.

>>10675448
yo why'd you steal my grandma's specialty

>>10678155
What a sad life you must lead.

>>10677607
sooo... its french toast?
with S+P instead of cinnamon sugar?

>>10678187
>miserably bitter
Not really, but surely bitterly miserable for having to share a "food and cooking" board space with people like you and OP vouching for candied syrup soaked box mix cake with hydrogenated oil whipped topping.

Nearly none of that could be considered food if it was deconstructed into its base ingredients.

>>10677687
wow, you fat fuck
>flavoured sweetened yogurt
>5 tbs of sugar
>whole milk

yikes

>>10678155

Pasta Bake:

Use any pasta you want
add any meat/veggies
top with any meltable cheese
put in oven for 10 mins
done

>>10678247
Complain to your wife's bull instead, no one here gives a shit about your opinion.

>>10678288
>>10678253
>>10678232
Some real digs here guys, really cutting stuff, I can tell you put a lot of thought into these comebacks. Truly unique and original content. I have been put in my place.

Triggered fucking faggots. Obviously my post made you sad about your fat mom who can't cook even fractionally as well as she gobbles cock. Maybe if you'd had a male role model growing up you'd know how to create a convincing argument without looking like a stupid twat.

>someone got butthurt about the fact the cake mix is boxed rather than the entire recipe being shit
you can obviously substitute a cake you made yourself with the finest ingredients but it'd still be garbage

>>10678313

>>10675448
I got good one
>Take wine
>Add apple juice
>Mix
And here you go

>>10675456
Jello cake is pretty good. But it also depends on the flavor of jello you use.

>>10675448
This looks like it would be good but might be too sweet since you are drenching already sweet cake in very sugary jelly

>>10678313

>neither he, nor his mom can cook which has led to severe brain defects

don't worry bucko, maybe in a few years time you'll be able to make a comprehensive argument

>>10678313
>hurr why won't they argue with me about my shit opinion

>>10678376
yeah you gotta dose your sugar. we usually use biscuits or even toast (the prepackaged kind)

>>10678378
>bucko
ok sweety

>>10675991
>anglo "bakeries"
>"the taste of the cake is all the frosting anyways"

>>10678247

you have no idea what you're talking about with food. you don't know up from down in the kitchen.,

>>10678313

>male role models
>convincing arguments

incel retard detected

>>10678256
Every time I take a picture of something like this, I can never get it to look good, but that looks really good.
Why oh why can I not take A E S T H E T I C food pictures...

>>10678250
>scared of sugar and fat
>t.

>>10678527
Hint: White Balance

>>10678155
hahaha wow
looks like you struck a nerve with this post

>>10678155
>real buttercream frosting
Elaborate. If I go to a hippy healthy food place to find frosting that isn't constructed from edible food substitute, 2oz of it is $10 because it's free trade non-animal-tested non-gmo organic and gluten free. Most recipes online are from the same people you mention that make do with awful substitutes.

>>10679243
The best frosting I make is a glossy semisweet chocolate frosting from a 1950’s Betty Crocker’s Cookbook.

>>10679257
>1950’s Betty Crocker’s Cookbook
Can't knock a staple I guess. I'll go dig it up the next time I'm baking.

One of the absolutely best deserts you can make is a very simple lime sherbet with sliced strawberries.

Pick a lime sherbet that has a strong limey flavor. Kemp's Lime Sherbet and strawberries is phenomenally good, but Blue Bell Lime Sherbet and strawberries is rather disappointing.

>>10675868
It's pronounced hivemind, and it's hilarious

>>10677555
They make good onaholes

>>10677607
French toast, not french toast???

>brainlet.jpg

>>10678368
I am incredibly disapointed in you.

>>10680272
>he thinks french toast is bread soaked in egg
Holy fuck, give up. He posted a SAVORY dish, not a sweet one. How retarded can you be?

This looks good for fourth of july.

Just alternate red and blue jello.

>>10680383
That would be super cool, but I would think you'd also have to be super careful to prevent accidentally making some sort of Purple Rain cake.
I just searched and found pic-related. Looks like you can get around that risk by doing it in two separate layers

>>10676549
fuk you tastelet

>>10678155
2/10 way too edgy

>>10677681
Why haven't I thought of that

>Thread has a total of three recipes
>Rest is shitposting
/ck/

>>10680946
Thats three more than the usual threads.

>>10680946
Alright, here's one...

Cheesey garlic bread is amazing as a side to a dinner. Get a baguette, cut slits and stuff with cheese/butter/garlic and any herbs. Wrap in foil and bake. Full recipe

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/2604/cheesy-garlic-bread

>>10678250
not that guy but i looked up the macros:
300 calories
15 g protein

that's not bad at all for a frozen confection

>>10675448
I made something like this but I forgot what it was
I didn't need to make this post

>>10678313
>goes on an entire rant projecting his flyover life over jello cake
>calls others triggered and butthurt
Wew

>>10680946
In our defense OP used a thread derailer as his revolting first pic, there was never any chance for valid food discussion.

This is a food gore thread, have a look at the sushi some friends made and weep.

>>10675448
Jello cake is fucking awful. My mom loves it, but it's horrid.

>>10682814
Gonna do that next time I make pasta.

>>10675448
>Like cake with frosting always was just grotesque
OP you are my nigga and I'm trying that.

>>10679748
>one comment is an hour later than the other
>hivemind
Huh, I thought the reddit thing was a meme.

>>10678637
What’s white balance?
-Steve1989

>>10682916
baka there are 50 calories in one tbsp of brown sugar alone and he is adding 5

>>10678313
-anon says as he sits down and switches off his iphone. he contemplates the satisfactory textual beatdown he just unleashed upon those he deems less intelligent than him.
>*sigh* If only people could cook real recipes like me
anon reaches for the ultra vegan ricecake smothered in guacamole and that is wrapped in a tortilla hand made by his illegal immigrant neighbor
>mmmmm, now THIS is culinary culture
anon then has a fond memory of his cousin on the east cost who eats discarded kebab and schmear covered bagels off the dirty city street and wonders if he made it in broadway

>>10677639
It's what I use for mine, really handy when you manage to lose one chopstick and don't want to toss the other one because it's a nice one.
Oh, and raspberry jello is GOAT for cake.
And for ultimate oakey use a tub of cool whip and vanilla pudding mix for the top.

>>10678313
why are you so fucking angry over a fucking cake? dude go outside theres bigger issues that should trigger you than someone posting about a shitty cake on 4chan..

>>10675448
Roasted Pork Belly

Most supermarkets in the US have this in some form, usually in 1 lb-ish strips. If they dont you can ask for it usually because thats what they make bacon out of. And its usually only $3-$5 a pound.

I follow this recipe: https://pinchandswirl.com/oven-roasted-crispy-pork-belly/

But the TL:DR version is :
>If you have time rub in seasoning and let sit overnight
>If you dont rub with seasoning and roast at 450 for 30 min
>Turn heat down to 275 for an hour
>Let cool in fridge
>Slice and lightly fry in pan

My seasoning of choice:
>Brown Sugar, Chinese Five Spice and white pepper if I have it,
Ive also had good meals with:
>BBQ seasoning
>Italian seasoning and garlic powder and a little dried mustard
>Lawrys, pepper, and white sugar

Ive made sliders, used this in ramen, ate with mashed potatoes, if you want something thats halfway between bacon and pork loin than this is for you. Its easy and cheap.

>>10675991
Depends on your definition of "high end." If you mean "expensive," no I would not be surprised. If you mean "good," I would be very surprised. Because I haven't encountered one and I always talk a little about methods and ingredients when I find a bakery I like.

>>10675448
This was my favourite birthday cake request for years!
>white cake, or preferable angle food
>raspberry or strawberry jello
>whipped cream
>fresh berries

>>10684620
He never got a poke cake for his birthday because his moms boyfriend always made him eat the ones from Mcdicks.

>>10676001
That's disgusting.

>>10680342
Why can't french toast be both

>>10685089
>>fresh berries
Soft feta with honey is p good too.