/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Open my own can and pour vodka

report them to the theater senate and testify during the contraband committee hearing

>>10668782
call 911 immediately

>>10668782
Immediately leave to the front desk and report them, then end up getting internet famous on The Root for being racist

>>10668782
whip out my concealed carry pistol and shoot them for breaking the law

>>10668782
Offer them some of my Southern Comfort.

>>10668782
Run to the nearest fire alarm and pull it

>>10668782

>>you know somebody opened an outside contraband soda can

You have to be 18 to post here.

Outside food is allowed in most theaters nowadays. It's to avoid getting into legal trouble because of diabetics.

Ignore it and continue drinking the beer I smuggled in

>>10668807
i just went to the root's webiste to see what's up

i hope to see you there!

>>10668796
*Sits at bar sipping scotch*

>>10668808
This actually has prevented me from telling morons to shut it and put their cellphones away. You can't, as a permit holder, be seen as instigating a fight. Else you lose your legal defense for drawing your weapon. So rather than risk a legal fight over a stupid movie (as most suck anyway), I hope someone else tries to correct them. And I can legally defend that person if a fight breaks out without risk of being seen as the instigator.

>>10668782
Daydream about confronting and placing the perpetrator under citizens arrest until the proper authorities arrive but ultimately do nothing and wonder what could have happened if I wasnt such a beta while my thoughts distract me from enjoying the screening

>>10668782
Continue jacking off

>soda
You mean beer. And I'd ask him for a can.

>>10668782
Hope nobody notices the sizzling fajitas and mariachi band I snuck in.

>>10668905
Seems like you need a friend then. One to instigate, then one to ice the nigger

start masturbating my penis so when the usher comes to stop this criminal i can bust a fat nut on their back

>>10668905
redneck conflict: the post. bubba here is why we need better gun control like every other civilized nation, because he jerks it over the thought of getting to shoot someone over a minor annoyance.

Get Robert the usher

>>10668983
this but unironically

>>10668997
t. king of town poster

>>10668866
Witnessing these triple dubs

>>10669021
You wanna know how I know that you hate your white skin.

>>10669021
this but unironically

>>10669021
Utilize the 2nd amendment, Buy a gun, then hang yourself please.

>>10668905
Unless you are a retard or a dick, you can tell someone to put their fucking cell phone away at the movies without it being instigating a fight. If the person wants to keep escalating it to the point where lethal force is required to defend yourself (assuming you didn't keep prodding the fire) than I doubt there would be a charge filed against you, barring some DA that has a hard on for gun grabbing.

If he keeps quiet about my can of beans I'll keep quiet about his can of pop.

>>10668905
Can you actually not tell someone to please be quiet without pulling a gun?

>>10669173
>>10669198
>>10669205
kek, butthurt dumbasses. "muh constitutional rights." right, because a well-armed militia is essential in the 21st century. "he wuz chewing gum too loudly, so I shoots him as I am allowed by the constitution."

>2018
>not opening your soda before entering the theater

>>10669244
Are you afraid of dying or something?

>>10669021
Kek

>>10669011
>>10669031
>movie theater usher
nice meme

>>10669011
based Multiple Miggs

>>10669173
Because you wont shoot yourself the way we all want you to?

>>10669236
Defending yourself from what, his cellphone radiation?
How deeply inbred are you

>>10668782
That was grandpa releasing built up gas from his colostomy bag with this arthritic knuckles and I'll thank you not to call attention to it you insensitive prick.

>>10669310
>Defending yourself from what, his cellphone radiation?
Nobody said that but you.
>How deeply inbred are you
Work on your reading comprehension before you start making fun of others retard. You're an embarrassment.

>>10668782
Shout out "YOU DIDNT BUY THAT FROM THE CONSESSIONS STAND! I'M TELLING!" Then smugly grin to myself as the theater erupts into laughter.

>>10668782
>stand up
>EXCUSE ME SIR, BUT YOU ARE BREAKING THEATER PROCEDURE
>knock the soda onto the floor
>dab
>YOU AIGHT WHITE BOY
>He cute
>Ushers all applaud me
>Projector turns lights on and off playfully
>Sorry for party rocking comes out
>Managers start party rocking in the aisles giving out free popcorn and icees
>Get like 5 girls numbers
>Don't call any of them

>>10669359
>How deeply inbred are you
>not inbreeding
>allowing nigger genes into your pool
Enjoy your low IQ descendants, mutt

>>10669390
::cringe::

>>10668905
>killing someone because they checked their phone during a movie
>'murica

>2018
>not bringing in a 1.5 bottle equivalent paper bottle of wine

Swine

>>10668782
Report him to the kinodrome police and laugh as he's escorted to the popcorn mines

>>10668782
Pull out my Double Cheeseburgers and pour a shiner of Captain into my giant Mr. Pibb.

Snitches and traitors get killed.

>>10669704
You are a special kind of person. Don't ever change.

>>10669578
In case you are a retard and not a troll, you wouldn't ultimately be shooting them just because they were playing on their phone, but that's certainly how BLM would try to spin it. Basically, you tell some nigger doing niggerly shit to turn off his phone and then he chimps out, starts causing a giant scene, you tell him that you aren't looking for a fight, he comes at you with a knife and you shoot him in defense of your life.

>>10669754
That its even a thing to be discussed is very much a trumptard merica situation

>>10669777
As opposed to what happens in Europe?
>please don't rape my little girl Achmed
>*get's stabbed*
At least we have the ability to put down the dogs in our country, even if it comes with some downsides like the occasional crazy white boy snapping

>>10669786
>pardon mate, there's already a queue formed
>*get's stabbed*

>>10668782
>go outside, find somebody with a nametag, complain to them
>they laugh you out of the fucking theater because the theater has been selling canned beverages, sips, etc for literally years

>>10668905
Pretty sure you're not allowed to have a concealed carry in a movie theaters

>>10669754
Trips confirms.
>>10669777
Fuck off, Eurotrash. Go back to getting fucked with knives by roving gangs of chavs/Muslims.

>>10669798
Depends on the state. A lot of states have no criminal penalties for getting caught carrying in a private business with a "no concealed firearms" sign. In some places all they can do is ask you to leave, after which point you'd be trespassing if you tried to stay.

>>10669798
If they know you are carrying all they can do is ask you to leave because you're breaking their rules. If you don't you're trespassing, that's when they can call the cops on you.

>not knowing how to silently open cans
plebes, do you even have caffeine addictions?

>>10669809
>the virgin silent soda opener vs the chad pressure explosion

>>10669808
Tell that to those Starbucks guys

>>10669814
Starcucks doesn't count. They are literally victims of their own mismanagement.

>Little known company policy of allowing non-paying customers to stay as long as they are not disturbing other customers or destroying Starcuck's property
>One poorly trained franchise tosses out a pair of basketball Americans
>Oh no he dindt.gif
>Starcucks, instead of overhauling employee training so that all polices are known to franchises, instead put rules into place that bum and junkies can take advantage of
>Starcucks business in cities drops like a rock because now all their franchises are full of stinky bums and heroin fiends

>>10669828
>Little known company policy of allowing non-paying customers to stay as long as they are not disturbing other customers or destroying Starcuck's property
Literally does not exist.

>>10669845
It does now, Starcuck

>>10669845
https://www.reddit.com/r/starbucks/comments/6yhtu0/kicking_out_the_noncustomers/
Found this on Google. in b4 >reddit

>>10669828
>tfw when all the bums begging for change move from Dunkin Donuts to Starcucks

>>10669856
Literally in the comments they talk about kicking out non-paying customers

>>10669845
>>10669856
It was never really a policy as far as I knew, and that's not what people were complaining about for the most part. It was that there was a "culture" of just hanging out in Starbucks without paying which is fucking ludicrous that people think that they can impose their will on someone's private property like that.

>>10669872
Hey it worked didn't it

Send my hawk in for confirmation then inform the ushers immediately.

>>10669972
That better be an emotional support hawk.

>>10669244
Bait. No one is this retarded.

>>10669988
(((they))) really are

>>10668782
Complain, that camrip is too shitty. Wait for proper DVDrips.

>>10669786
Are you crazy? What the hell are you on about?

>>10668905
>I won't get into a fight with someone if I can't legally shoot them.
How fucking weak are you?

>>10669390
fucking BASED

>>10670077
Being physically weak will benefit you when they take it to court and you claim self-defense. Think, nigga.

>>10670213
Lol, this faggot is so beta that he intentionally remains weak just on the off chance that he "has to" shoot someone in a movie theater over a base argument.

Cuckstreme mah daymie.

>>10670227
Is that threatening language you're using? It sounds like it. Am I going to have to"defend" myself as you make unwanted physical gestures?

I FEARED FOR MY LIFE

>>10670245
Well you were probably right to immediately start firing randomly around woman and children while simultaneously getting an erection and crying.
I was brandishing a spork after all.

>>10670254
Joking aside, some of these "self-defense" fags actually think like this. Rather terrifying, if I wasn't used to the absurdity of living in the US.

>>10670263
I know right?
Cowards shouldn't have access to weaponry.

>>10670269
No one should have access to those things other than law enforcement and the military. Listen to this song, and don't be afraid to dab during it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiHftejWSvU

>buy a large soda
>once I'm a third of the way through dump my flask of liquor into it
it's the only way to enjoy a film

>>10670306
I did something similar during a viewing of Pacific Rim. I fell asleep for about 45 minutes during the middle of the movie. I don't think I missed anything important.

>>10670289
>Reductionist logic.
Please pick up a few books, and then read them.
Stupid people are more dangerous than firearms.

>>10670371
>not loving our cops, our law enforcement
>not loving our military, despite their importance
Go back to Tumblr, BLM shill

>>10670377

>*ttsssst crack*
>yep, that's me
>*sssiip*
>I think you wonder how I sip in this situation