/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10572950
how?

>>10572950
How the fuck can he possibly get out of the fort without breaking the eggs.

>>10572950
how do the eggs keep him in there without breaking?

why does my heart break for all the eggs being confined in forts?

Why is it that whomever filmed this video has not gone back to capture more footage of this magnificent egg chef preparing more egg masterpieces?

Not gonna lie that looks pretty fucking good. I'd be all over this stumbling home from a bar at 2AM.

but how?

some says he's still making omelette sandwiches to this very day

others say he hung himself cause he couldn't get out
ALL WE KNOW IS HE'S CALLED SURLY

>that one guy annihilating eggs in the foreground
Truly the surly Duke of the egg kingdom

>>10572950
Shirley?

>>10573837
He's surely, alright but his fort needs some reinforcing.

>>10573844
uma

>>10573872

>>10573878

>>10573881

>>10573886

>>10573890

>>10573896

>>10572950
if this thread is up in a couple hours Ill make this and take pics.
CONSENSUS ON INGREDIENTS
eggs
bread
salt
pepper
diced red onion

Sound right?

>>10572950
>>10572957
>>10572958
>>10572960
>>10572963
>>10573050
>>10573094
>>10573109
>>10573120
>>10573858
>>10573953

ESCAPE HATCH ON ROOF

>>10573980
Great. Now I'm upside down.

>>10573953
Bumping for this.

>>10573837
I want that man's flat-top.

>>10573839
the hotdog man with the hotdog plan

>>10573839
how does he get out without breaking the hot dogs?

>>10573901
KEK @ file nem

>>10574002
weak americans get salmonella just by looking at this video.
look at me, look how I'm strong, I'm driving a truck but can't handle a single egg lol.

>>10573980
great, so he can go on the roof. Big whoop. Not like he has a fucking helicopter up there. All he can do is go back down.

>>10573837
He must have a ton of overhead with all those body guards. A wiser defensive strategy would be to build out a walled fort, as seen in the original post of this thread.

>>10573953
There's something green too. Maybe just green onions?

>>10573953
Looks like he caught a couple green chilli slices there too.

>>10573837
What's with the weird uppity head shake he gives while talking to the customer?

>>10574856
He's Indian. Look up the Indian head waggle.

>>10574868

>>10573837
>punished egg king

>>10573872
do americans really?

>>10573901
>no eggs here
Get the fuck out of my thread

>>10573837
Fuck your eggs

good web matrix thread guys

>>10575191
fuck thats so disgusting and so much work trying to replicate something you just fucking boil for 10 minutes

>>10573878
i want her to gobble my dick

>>10575191
why are vegens so OBSESSED with making everything look like eggs, cheese and meat?

>>10573837
>disrespecting the eggs
>flamboyant attire makes him the ricer equivalent of clothing
>rushing an art that takes time and attention
>clearly disrespectful of the customers
>merely pretending to be surly
he will never be /ourking/

>>10573901
this is unironically less healthy than actual mayo too...

>>10574002

>>10575165
>how to waste an emu egg

>>10575576
Why would you want to overcook your eggs into a solid sheet like that? That's school cafeteria tier.

>>10575586

>>10574914
Shes German bud :)

>>10573878
this is jack-tier of awkward

>>10572950
Does he have to eat the unsold eggs before can leave his egg fort?

>>10573844
I knew the moment I saw the ethnicity of the guy that he would put fucking corn on that pizza

>>10573890
Protein and a buzz. Excerrent

>>10573844
Jesus Fucking Christ

>>10575596
FOLDED TEN THOUSAND TIMES

>>10573844
Where's the rest of the clip where he fires the pizza in a garbage-fueled oven?

>>10576345
thats a tomato not an onion you fucking retard nigger youre not funny

>>10576345

>>10573109

>>10573844
>>10576504
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4

>>10576867
oh god. set it on fire. wtf is that thing?

>>10574914
>>10575639
And it's staged you duplicitous doublenigger

>>10576871
La creatura.....

>>10576867
>>10576871
90% chance it lives in New Jersey.

>>10572950
XD

>>10576892
Florida, even worse.

>>10573844

Eating American BBQ with North Koreans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0TYCEXmi90

>>10573844
>canned corn

>>10576857
Unbelievable, really.
It's Brazil, right?

>>10576867
Jaron eating his daily feast.

>>10576857
is he fueling his oven from the side with fucking corn husks

>>10576857
absolute trash

>>10576921
im thankful this meme died

Eating Wings with North Koreans | Feasting with your former "Mortal Enemy"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TQ8H5TgRzA

>>10573844
why are browns so obsessed with making food in a flashy way despite being unable to cook

>>10576946
>American cheese on meat
I know he's a turkish meme chef, but I can't see how putting american cheese on your raw meat before cooking it will enhance the flavor at all.

>>10576887

>>10576982
>eating whole blocks of butter all at once
do
americans
really!?

>>10576921
i kinda liked em

>>10576987
Usually only on our burgers

>>10576857
I don't see nothing wrong with this 'za

>>10572950
That looks like more than one egg he poured out of that cup.

>>10573844
>>10576857
So I hear corn on pizza is popular in japan, is it good?

>>10575236
they miss the food and their body is subconsciously craving the nutrients

>>10575576
baking anything other than bread or pastries gives me murderous urges

>>10575332
Exactly right. He's trying to be a tough guy but is merely a road side omelette vendor.

>>10575576

>>10573844
MESTRE DA PIZZA

>>10575191
>go to store
>buy all ingredients for this for about $40 USD
>feel stupid

>>10573953
why you no come back with ur own egg masterpiece pictures

>>10577434

>>10577679
Avocado is the worst meme fruit.

>>10573839
Whatever they are paying him, IT ISN'T ENOUGH.

>>10573896
>salmonella
thank you buddy, i pass

>>10573886
>>10573881
Are we living in a Sci-Fi movie?

>>10574856
https://www.tripsavvy.com/meaning-of-the-indian-head-shake-1539322
they are really weird

>>10576899
more of jack please

>>10576857
I love it when my pizza is served in the lid of a trash can.

>>10577033
they used garbage to fuel the fire

>>10575236
Because we're hardwired to crave those things

>>10572950
i've got a question, something's that always been bothering me every time this webm is posted, not sure why nobody has asked it yet. the man in that webm, you'll notice that he has a bunch of eggs around him, i can't tell exactly from the camera angle, but it's almost like he's completely surrounded by the eggs, so when he has to go home, i'm wondering how he manages to leave his stand since eggs are pretty fragile and he's got so many just surrounding him, it might be tricky to navigate or maybe move the eggs out of the way; how exactly does he leave without breaking any eggs

>>10573896
Holy fuck what is this dish and where do I get it?

>>10578396
Omurice.
Japan.

>>10576857
Brazilians are more closely related to raccoons than people.

>>10578397
Thanks!

>>10573881
can you imagine going to the beach and having one of those fuckers attach itself to your leg

>>10575576
Could have just made a regular-ol egg bake with the same ingredients and less toughness.

>>10579026
i laughed at this jack harder than i should have

>>10576899
holy fucking lol

>>10576921
Can't help but notice the misleading filename, given these are in fact not cakes

>>10576871
It's that trans kid, there's a youtube vid from when she was young and skinny

>>10573953
Looks like he just puts sliced green onions (spring onions, or scallions in Burgerspeak) in, coud be wrong. I've been making a version of this by soaking a piece of bread in the egg mixture, like French toast but savoury. Eggs, drop of milk, two chopped spring onions, salt and pepper. Not close to Surly Chad Of the Egg Fort's masterpieces yet still tasty

>>10579330
>I've been making a version of this by soaking a piece of bread in the egg mixture, like French toast but savoury.

That's called Eggy Bread m8

>>10575191
Jesus fucking wept

>>10579300
>that trans kid
It's name is plastered over every frame of the webm. Are you just pretending you didn't see it because you think that makes you cool?

>>10579288
Is that kosher?

>>10579394
Marshmallows have gelatin, so unlikely.

>>10579402
You can get Kosher marshmallows. I checked.

>>10579335
Yeah I know, I just wasn't sure if Americans know it by that name. For some reason omelette sandwiches seem a bit weird to me even though I suppose eggy bread is the same thing.

>>10579357
no....of course I saw it...but if others did then why were they asking?! (I suppose the filename was intended to be some of that good old 4chan sarcasm at its finest)

>>10577072
Corn is okay if you sprinkle it on sparsely along some other toppings like salami or ham.

>>10573901
Dont do this! It actually creates nerve gas!

>>10573901

>>10579462
>tastes like butter

>>10579462
>>10579592
tfw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuKjTiyX1uI

>>10578268
not garbage, one was a log,the second was dry palm leaf that burns quick, probably to help ignite the thick ass log the put in first

>>10579592
sunflower oil tastes like butter. i don't know why vegans disregard it.

>>10579462
allways wondered, why is all vegan food imitation? vegan meat, vegan dairy, vegan egg, why not come up wioth unique stuff, with their own texture, name and taste?

>>10579705
https://www.plantbasednews.org/post/dairy-like-names-banned-for-vegan-products-within-eu

The European Union just banned names like vegan milk because by definition milk is an animal product

>>10575208
>I have the same expensive nonstick pan but it's not scratched to shit like this retard
feels good not being a complete idiot

>>10576871
El Goblino

>>10572950
>>10574002
This is how he gets out of the fort

>>10579025
someone needs to fucking lock this animal up

>>10579462
>vegan butter
aka margarine

>>10579880
Don't be that guy

>>10579880
Coconut oil is pretty overwhelmingly the butter substitute of choice for vegans in my experience.

>>10579705
This. It actually makes it actually less attractive imho. But hipster vegans only care about the label anyway.

>>10579705
most vegans are american, and are devoid of imagination, creativity, talent, or even basic taste that isn't based on memes

Vegetarian > Vegan

>>10579681
there's fucking cardboard in there you mong

>>10573837
>>10574913
Punished egg king

he was once an emperor of a wast egg imperium with mighty entrenched eggcampments and palaces without exits, but has since been cast out and forgotten. Now he is without even a simple shed. At least his most loyal vassals are still with him.

>>10580116
>just a mass of everything until it comes out looking like diarrhea

wow, surprising that indian food turned out that way. never seen that happen before

>>10573896
looks like the inside of my onahole after i cum in it

>>10576857
Mestre de pizza deliciosa, nunca os italianos podem entrar na pizza tão bem. Também, foda-se o rei dos ovos. Uma delicia...

Get on my level, boys.

>>10577835
imagine being this american

>>10575596
>GLORIOUS NIPPON EGG FOLDED OVER 1 GORILLIAN TIMES
>CUT SHARP LIKE KATANA

>>10580220
americans dont have clean eggs

>>10576576
Huh?

>>10580116
I'd actually very much like to try that.
Can't go wrong with veggie,butter, potato, spice mush

>>10580124
cardboard is cellulose

anglo education is really failing you guys.

>>10573953
bump

>>10580116
I read this whole thing in rick steins voice

>>10576871
El Abominación

>>10580270
There's a reason for that

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1525986029024.webm

>>10580270
>>10580116
I can't get it out of my head.

>>10580279

See >>10580277

>>10576982
disgusting

>>10576867
Subhuman chewing with her mouth open. I want to punch her in the throat.

>>10580209
the worst part of this is it's not even a good flavor of doritos. it's a blue bag. it's the ranch flavor.

>>10579705
They are in denial about the fact that humans are omnivorous animals and have the teeth, digestive tracts, and tastes of omnivores.

>>10580220
>>10580229
stay mad europoors/dogeaters

>>10580410
>her

>>10580533
>an /fg/ transplant

>>10579725
wtf I love the EU now

>>10580205
>foda-se o rei dos ovos
Take that back faggotinho

>>10576867
daily reminder that his dick is actually too small to go through surgery to get a vagoo

>>10580251
>>10580116

GUYS. GUYS.
I honestly never expected to see the best dish from my mum's Indian providence here.

Pau Bhaji isn't a joke - it's the best vegetarian north Indian dish ever.

>>10580875
Do you have any other favourite dishes that could make a good webm?

Finally watched this movie, thanks for recommending it y'all. All the feels.
>Eat drink man woman

I love how, at the end, he places the pot filled with eggs on the fire. It's almost cartoonish.

>>10574786
yeah but unlike the guy in op, this man isn't trapped by his own eggs

>>10579357
Just add two baskets of rice.

>>10581040
What is the movie?

>>10581040
>shrimp
>crab
>ribs
>chicken
>for a fucking school lunch

Shan Shan eats better than everyone on this board.

>>10576871
La Luz Extinguido

>>10579288
Now we finally know who is behind the """cooking""" vidz

>>10576979
Did you honestly think doublenigger refers to samefagging?
What the fuck is wrong with you and how new are you?

>>10580050
he's right, though

>>10579462
I CANT BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER

>>10581391
clowning for the customers¿

>>10581391
>>10581401

>>10579357
That is a big wok but adding that much food at once its just lazy. I bet that batch is for the entire day.

>>10580997
>look at me I'm attractive
>see my clothes? I obviously go to the gym
>check out my sponsored protein powder
>you can make these delicious shakes
>500k+ followers and 2k+ in sponsorship revenue a month
Man I hate mildly attractive Instagram roasties

>>10580198
What the FUCKING fuck

>>10581779
>>500k+ followers and 2k+ in sponsorship revenue a month

dude there are plenty of 9/10 girls out there that make absolutely nothing

people dont just get money for existing on insta, its quite competetive

>>10577369
you can take your urges out on me cutie

>>10581955
I really like the idea of toasted crust fries for dipping.

>>10582034
>animal planet

>>10581979
so is prostitution
still doesnt make it respectable

>>10581748
>That is a big wok
For you.

>>10575236
Because they desperately miss the tastes and textures of animal products but xaving to their desireds would mean giving up their meme special snowflake lifestyle.

>>10582082
? its not an issue of respect, you just dont have to attach some sad hateful sentiment to anything you ever see

yes, her webm has no reason to exist, and yes shes being narcissistic, but it degrades you to have an opinion or think about such things, which should be beneath you

>>10576867
That's a man, baby.

>>10576902
Florida is the New Jersey of the South.

>>10576902
Asians are weird.

>>10582095
no, new jersey is the florida of the north

>>10579725
wtf EU is based now

>>10580229
We have some of the cleanest eggs in the world, the FDA is just retarded and told boomers to treat raw eggs like nuclear waste one time and now it's treated like gospel.

>>10582108
we have *the* cleanest eggs in the world and most stringent standards for what hits store shelves in a package.

hint to europeans: nobody actually buys white eggs anymore who cooks in america, for like 20 years now

>>10582120
I buy white eggs. They're 2 cents cheaper.

>>10582154
i buy those faggy nelly whatever eggs where the chickens are massaged while listening to ASMR as they go to sleep

>>10582120
LITCHERALLY nothing wrong with white eggs you goon

>>10582185
if u buy cruelty meat products ur a fagot

>>10582196
dumb boy it don't matter what kind of situation the chicken is raised in re: color

my mom raises free range chickens and the shits got brown, white, and green eggs

>>10582208
good quality eggs arent bleached as ther eis no reaosn to do so other than to sell them to poor people

>>10582196

>>10581391
>>10581412
not sure if handicapped or just...

>>10581401
>clowning for the customers¿

>>10582217
it's dead, retard.

>>10581779
>Man I hate mildly attractive Instagram roasties
>mildly attractive
>mildly
>MILDLY
SHE'S MORE THAN "MILDLY ATTRACTIVE" ACCORDING TO MY DICK ASSHOLE

>>10576982
hot

>>10576982
she could've so easily choked to death doing that. if it gets lodged it's not going to unlodge itself in any way.

>>10582242
Pour some hot water in, would melt and lubricate it enough to get it going.

>>10581114
Eat Drink Man Woman
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111797/

>>10581779
>2k+ in sponsorship revenue a month
That's not really super impressive. Pretty poverty-tier (or don't-quit-your-day-job-tier) unless you live in rural bumfuckistan.

>>10581108
sorry i am retarded

>>10582256

>>10582087
He thought about it because it was posted. What the hell is your point? Why should judging a woman for having an extremely easy yet high paying job be beneath him?

>>10574489
>salmonella is endemic in chicken eggs
Damn, you're particularly stupid.

>>10582262
BECAUSE SHE LIKELY DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING MONEY OFF IT AND IT ISN'T HER JOB, NINCOMPOOP

KEEP YOUR "HURR MISOGYNY" DIARRHEASPRAY ON /POL/ WHERE YOUR MGTOW FAG SHIT BELONGS

>>10580258
go smoke your meats with burning plastic and cardboard then.

>>10582283
Holy shit did I hit a nerve, roastie? It was just a fucking question.

>>10580198
Had a good laugh at this scene for some reason

>>10582217
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.webm

>>10576982
>keto-in-a-nutshell.webm

>>10581955
What fucking kind of fatass would even think to make this?

>>10582245
>Hey, Susan, stop choking for one second and hold still while I pour scalding water down your throat.

>>10582034
What the hell are these idiots doing

>>10581391
Probably has the soundtrack of Rocky running in his head

>>10576899
legit made me lol

>>10582208
Freddy freaker get out of here

>>10582477
playing with food

>>10582217

DEJA VU

>>10572950
What are the two veggies he uses?

Need to know for a friend

>>10582797
onions and green peppers, I think

>>10572950
After eating this how much you survive before dying of diarrhea?

the egg men are working together and are on the same team. beta handles inventory, purchasing, the books, ordering stock, it wasnt his idea, but he was smart enough to realize people would see the two of them competing and go order from alpha egg, mainly just to spite him or make him feel bad. little does everyone know, they are in on it, working everyone's deep seeded meanness. "i dont even want an egg sandwich right now, but i wanna look at the beta bitch while i order from his immediate competition."
beta egg is a plant, they divvy up the cash each day, beta egg orders and passes supply to alpha egg so he dont have to leave his post.
actually alpha is beta's uncle, and beta has a hot girlfriend who is at least 3 points above him, but he's an indian (((banker))) and he's clever. he's also not afraid of hair curry flavored poon. loves to eat it. sprinkles garam masala on it before he goes down.
beta egg might be the alpha egg

>>10582840
oh and here is a pirate flag if me and my friend were pirates this would be our flag. im the skeleington and my heart is there because i have courage to go on and care for my buddy

>>10582850
this is for my other friend

>>10582899
>it would be extremely fun

>>10582911
this is my other bff from online he is australian so i gave him a scar. he is holding my skeleton body and heart because we trust each other

>>10582100
cute

>>10574856
means yes in india

>>10583371
You could probably compile a passable jack version of that Russian X Men video.

>>10579025
has anyone ever seen Jack measure anything?

>>10583427
i could indeed if i weren't so lazy

>>10583440
yes, but only for baking.

>>10583463
The cayenne eyeball shot for Cyclops, the omelette maker exploding for one of the psychic ones maybe.

>>10582242
Butter starts to melt at 90 degrees fahrenheit. Internal temperature of the human body is 98.6.

>>10582653

>>10575175
honestly looks pretty tasty

>>10575576
>touches her entire fucking sleeved arm over the egg thing

how stupid and disgusting can you be

>>10576966
His food is shit, he opened a steak house in New York and everyone said it was overpriced trash

>>10583615
How did it compare to your restaurant?

>>10578923
Every time i watch this i love the slow taking a piece like its great

>>10583701
>they sharpen it
I was gunna be so disappointed if that didn't happen

>>10581384

>>10583729
why do people use marg when it tastes like shit and is less healthy than regular butter

>>10583815
its a poor people thing and they used to think it was healthier because scientist are idiots

>>10575596
What's the little triangle of cloth he wipes the pan with? Looks like it has some oil or something on it.

>>10583815
great depression

>>10583815
>>10583844
the same reason some people still let their kids get vaccinated
people are morons, anon

>>10584179
Here's that (You) you were fishing for.

>>10580198
Absolutely disgusting.

>>10579100
>hai anon-kun am i kawaii uguu

>>10584288
thanks f a m, feels good

>>10583559

>>10584382
not me >>10584179

>>10584288
enjoy your autism, idiot

>>10584394
Enjoy your measles mumps and rubella, jackass

>>10584399
i am rather sick for a few weeks, than mentally retarded for my whole life like you are

>>10584179
>>10584288
>>10584313
>>10584382
>>10584389
>>10584394
>>10584399
>>10584402
pls tell me you are all the same faggot

>>10576979
what are you retarded

>>10584412
I can confirm that more than one and less than three of those posts are mine

>>10584414
fucking vaccs your kids, faggot
or better dont breed in the first place

>>10584387
>>10583559
very nice

>>10584426
If everyone else is vaccinated, why do my kids need to be?

>>10584426
a shekel for a good goy
>>10584430
to make every white kid autistic

>>10572950
HOW
EGGS

>>10575208
"""soft""" boiled
>>10575165
delet this

>>10575586
>french omelette
>sans fromage

I miss the time when webm threads weren't just filled with all this shit but featured actual cooking content with only the occasional (You)-attractor.

>>10584872
>complain about content
>don't post any content

(You)

>>10584872
>hurrrff murr hurr
faggot

>>10584880
>>10584881
Don't fucking reply to me.

>>10584903
I'm posting garbage but at least I'm posting something

>>10584903
take those cocks out of your mouth

>>10584926
Fair enough.
>>10584928
frff ff

>>10579026
>points at it like its unstoppable
>there it goes

>>10579026
>other egg doesn't seem to have any traces of cooked white
Those (copper?) sheets cold? What is he trying to do?

>>10582034
just fucking put the egg with the shell in the hot sand
what the fuck

>>10579026
The worst part is him going
>Aw no, no, no! Aw come on!
as it slides off.

requesting the pan lotion, organic tear gas webm.
>inb4 >>>/r/

>>10576867
>those shoulders
>that back
that is in no way a woman

>>10580212
you can just look at this guy, his mannerisms, and know he sucks dick on an hourly basis

>>10583870
fucking gooks every time

>>10584926
I hate this