/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10568468
Thanks famalam, I appreciate your understanding of my crippling germophobia.

>theeeere we go

Let me help you with that egg, friend.

https://youtu.be/6e3z2H1O5zE

>lucky for you i got one of these

>let me just tighten the strap then it will be open in no time

guess these tools would be pretty cool for the elderly, if they have some sort of degenerative muscle problems.

>dont worry bro i got this

I find a new use for this every day

>>10568534
Its actually the tragic truth behind why most infomercials are so goofy, most of those (and these) products are made for people with severe disabilities. Its funny because they use relatively healthy adults to showcase them instead of an 87 year old arthritic woman with alzheimer's

>easy to remove and wash seperately after every meal

>>10568540
God, imagine putting your dick in there

>>10568543
I don't get this one

>>10568534
>>10568542
More or less this. I think one of the reasons they don't want to show people with disabilities is probably some sort of marketing thing. If I had to guess, they probably think just trying to sell it to disabled people is too niche and won't get them enough cash.

>>10568537
>a rock
Wut?

>>10568557
That one is definitely for people with a disability that makes grabbing shit hard

>>10568572
They're called animals without opposable thumbs you jackass

>notice the clever gripper

>here’s your cutlery bro

>>10568566
>not opening your rocks with a can

>>10568523
that actually seems like it could be useful if it was for larger jars

ugh can someone please open this for me, I cant seem to even with this tool

>not peeling your bananas

>and dont forget to pop the top

>>10568566
Clearly a rock got in the house and they're trying to trap it under the can so it can't escape and run amok.

>>10568788
that tool alone does the job of every other tool in this thread

>>10568468
these threads are a lot less funny when you realize these tools are for people with muscular disorders, frail elderly people, and people with degenerative neurological conditions like Parkinson's

>>10568497
Underrated af

>>10568836
What? I own every single gadget in this thread and use them every day. These bad boys for example

Btw do anyone recognize this sallad cleaning device? Never seen one outside my grandmothers kitchen

>>10568798
Who doesn't do this? Not trying to eat strings.

>>10568788
I use this device to open doors in public areas

>>10568894
Seen it my mother using as as long as I can remember knowing what a salad it
Always used it myself too

>>10568591
Stop being an ableist

>>10568855
>tfw no cute asian onion goggle gf

>>10568855
Mildy useful tidbit: IIRC the onion stuff enters through your nose and not your eyes, so these would do nothing.

>>10568530
I gave something like this to my mother when I moved out. It's an actually nice piece of equipment though, the rubber strap comes out so you can wrap it around logs and stuff, and it has a unidirectional bearing so you just pull it tight and it locks instead of ratcheting. It's pretty well made, all stainless and thick rubber. I have no idea what they're actually called, or what they're for, I used them for woodworking.

>>10568894
i used one at my restaurant dishwashing/general help job once

it seemed like a really stupid device compared to just rinsing shit in a colander over the sink, but it was also shocking how much ACTUAL FUCKING SAND came out of the device so idk maybe it works

>>10568855
to avoid crying when cutting onions, simply refrain from naming them and subsequently forming emotional attachments

>>10568899
i just use my fucking hands m8

>>10568788
i understand this meme but i dont understand the original post of it. the complaint is that Soylent bottles are so firmly sealed that turning the cap crushes the top, because the cap is far more robust than the bottle due to poor design and materials selection (the caps appear to be the standard wide-mouth sort you see on lots of juice bottles, but the bottle itself appears to be custom and probably made of much thinner plastic)

wouldn't that device just mangle the bottle even more?

>>10568543
>>10568557
>>10568572
on the dot of why that thing exists but i went looking on the site i intend on buying diapers from and found this abomanacion

>someone is charging 20$ for a fork with one side of it sharpened

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTygajaWaR0

>humans were given opposable thumbs just to invent this garbage

>>10569460
>. I have no idea what they're actually called
strap wrench

>>10568894
>tfw mashing the shit out of it as a kid just to watch it spin

>>10568894
Salad spinner. Shit is fucking BASED. Gets every last drop of water off the lettuce.

>>10569532
do these things even work? cotton webbing is basically frictionless, I can't imagine it works well as a substitute for a proper adjustible wrench and bolt-like or at least ridged head

>>10568564
it's been shown that disabled people won't buy products used by disabled people because they don't want to think of themselves as disabled even though they're fucking disabled

its why everyone in infomercials is so fucking retarded spilling shit all the time

>>10568894
this works.

let me help senpai

>>10569681
this is actually very true; when i briefly was with my friend doing an "indie games studio", our first game's concept involved a character who is wheelchair-bound as part of the driving plot

whatever other silliness aside, before "hiring" me they actually went through several character designs, and settled on a manual chair after asking some actually disabled people and hearing a consistent thing of "We like manual chairs because it makes us feel more able than using one with a motor. The motor and joystick would be easier, but it's important to keep all the ability you have."

>>10569460
That's a strap wrench you nu-male faggot. You use them for shit like oil filters and other slippery round things.

>>10569502
Wouldn't that cut your mouth?

>>10569689
Why does having a penis make people such degenerate freaks?

>>10569758
a culture of being shamed for things outside of your control (your sex) and subsequent comfort on the fringe

>>10569765
>implying males can feel shame

>>10568468

You realize that most unitaskers are designed for people with physical maladies?

How is somebody with arthritis supposed to open jars or finely chop pecans without a jar opening device or a Slap-Chop?
Of course it looks silly when a perfectly healthy person can't just open a can or crack an egg, but what about a dude with one arm or a 92 year old grandma?

You do realise there are people who actually need these products, right? Jesus fuck, why does everything have to be black or white? Your meme gadget might be the only thing that facilitates cooking for someone weak/with limited mobility/arthritis etc

>>10569903
>>10569908
The point is that there are people WITHOUT physical inabilities that buy these products. Because they are fucking retarded pussies. We're laughing at them.

>>10569903
>>10569908
The hell?

>>10569908
>>10569903
t. that dude from The Last Leg who has the tiny hands with fused fingers

>>10569915
>The point is that there are people WITHOUT physical inabilities that buy these products.

We call them millenials. Fucking kids can't do shit unless they have a "specialized tool" for it.

>>10569502
>Imagine when asking your assistance to take a pic for you to put in an ad

>>10569915
>We're laughing at them.
No, you're not. But it's ok because anonymouslolololol

Sheep.

Wow this thread is maximum autism

>>10568543
>Fat Gripz for cutlery

>>10569502

>>10570011
Disaster waiting to happen

>>10570011
>americans are so weak they can't operate a 2l bottle of soda
DO AMERICANS REALLY

>>10568534
>>10568542
>>10568564
>not dying on the field of battle with axe and shield in hand at the ripe old age of 50
They've served their biological usefulness and Òðinn would welcome them to Valhalla with open arms

>>10570039

Yes, we use soda rockers to pour our soda.

>>10568468
>let me handle this.

>>10570070

>>10569915

Well it's a good thing then mass market appeal is really helping keep these things in production and affordable, huh?

Why exactly do you feel so cucked by someone you've never met or seen opening their OJ with an OJ opener?

>>10570070

looks very helpful for the elderly

>>10569875
Hvac technician here, channel locks are one of the most useful tools in my bag disregard this post.

>>10568894
Objectively useful device.

>>10569460
These things are perfectly good for arthritic elderly people, it's dumb when a perfectly healthy young person feels the need to use them.

>>10568468
>>10568805
>>10568798
>>10568609
>>10569950
>>10570011

>>10568894
The only reason Americans find that one useless is their 44% fear of vegetables.

>>10570080
a well sharpened knife requires less efforts to cut those fries. those items are supposed to save time but since you can't sharpen them, after a dozen use the blades are dead and cutting become really hard and inefficient.

bluetooth salt dispenser

>>10569875

some bottles need it

>>10570286
if you're going to shit on americans try to be funny about it

>>10569875
I bought those exact ones as a grad gift to myself.

Fuck great tool.

>>10568520
that is mind bogglingly retarded. there is no hope.

Are people really this lazy/germaphobic?

>>10570307
>Hey bro pass the salt, wtf it doesn't work
>Give me a sec I gotta reset my router

>>10570307

>tfw pranking the heck out of your friend by hacking his salt shaker and setting it to 150 GPS (grains per shake) instead of 15

>>10570632
>bluetooth
>router

>>10570839

don't hurt the boomers feelings

>>10570003
>splayed
>not a knoork
lies

>>10569454
So...
The goggle do nothing?

>>10570127
Retire to the counter like I did. Best decision of my life.

>>10570127
>channel locks

It's called a multigrip.

>>10570011
What about a giant version for places where you have to buy potable water? Because my grandmother's house used to have a big iron one to keep a ten gallon glass jug of water.

>>10569758
>Roastella said from behind her 40 pound veinmeister 9000: Jamal dragon edition.

>>10571140
Yes anon, those exist.

>>10570072
at least she had the excuse of being drunk

>>10568894

gets all the water and shit out of the vegs

>>10571171
It wasn't a water cooler, it was a larger version of the rocking thing. And when you're five, it's almost impossible to get a glass water without making a huge mess because it that jug was giant.

>>10568523
Kek, reminds me
>live with friend six years ago
>glue lid to pickle jar as a prank
>fight laughter as he tries like fuck to open it
>pretend to try myself
>he challenges everyone who comes to the house for the next couple weeks to try opening it
>never own up to gluing the lid on
>he tries again every now and then
six years later
>visit him for NYE this year
>the same fucking pickle jar is still in the fridge unopened
>the glue still holds
>mfw

>>10571108
no it's not, that's a brand name you fucking corporate-obsessed mutt jew

>>10571220
channel lock is a brand name, multi grip is what the tool is called
unless you're being willingly stupid

>>10568548
feels good man

>>10571220
Both channellock and multigrip are brand names.

That doesn't stop people from using the term generically though. I.e. kleenex, xerox, band-aid, etc.

>>10571235
>>10571249
i'll be honest, i've never heard of either and have always seen them referred to simply as "vise grip wrench" since it is a grip like a vise, but also it is a wrench

>>10571267
vice grip wrenches are different
they lock in place and then fuck your fingernail up when you release them

So what is the consumer base that uses these gadgets?

>>10570950
Kek

>>10571272
>then fuck your fingernail up
git gud dumb faggot

>>10571284
I haven't done that since I was a kid, I learned my lesson long, long ago

>>10570127
Cook here. Channel locks are useful for just about anything that isn't a delicate task. I love my needlenose pliers though. I don't even bother to put mine away, it sits next to my favorite flatblade my primary bookcase.

>>10571280
see >>10558812

>>10571200
cold temperature can make glue grow stronger

>>10568520
obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmn9JZ1_RPA

>here's your spoon bro

>>10571326
I just loved that he left it in there all that time. As if he is holding out hope that someday it would open. He's gone through a divorce and remarried since I glued the lid on that jar.

>>10568780
>Take a Flathead screwdriver
>Insert under lip
>Twist to break vacuum seal
>Remove lid with ease

>>10571357
Or
You know
A cutlery knife

>>10568468
whew owe you one

>>10568520
This rustles my rump

>>10571362
You can use literally anything that is hard and flat

>>10571362
I use a spoon because its what I am usually about to dig into the jar with

>>10571351
hate to bust your bubble but its probably that he just hasnt done a good clean-out of the fridge

most people dont until they move

>>10568520

that SFX is so satisfying though

>>10571200
very fake and extremely fucking gay

>>10568894
Got something like that, only mine has a string.

>>10568894
Salad tosser

This is an enjoyable thread. My ex had a muscle disease so used the weird vertical bread knives and similar.

>>10569950
This one would be great if you're making a fuckton of sliced banana, but why would you. It oxidizes immediately.

>>10571350
Hey these are kinda cool tho. Compostable/edible single use cutlery should be a bigger thing.

>>10568894

you can spin your vegetables in your washing machine spin cycle if you've got a large batch

>>10571751
>hand spinning power is comparable to 1200 rpm power wash

>>10571748
For prep?
Like those street crepe vendors, or commercial kitchen for mass catering

>>10571831
Confirmed numale baby hands.

>>10571835
>or commercial kitchen for mass catering
We would likely run frozen banana slices through a rotary slicer or mandolin before throwing the slices in tubs of ice and lemon water to prevent oxidization.

Running a bunch of soft bananas through those plastic pieces then picking them apart before they greyed would be a fucking nightmare and they'd look like shit.

>>10570191
donald trump eating an orrange.jpg

>>10571920
Now you're equating apples with oranges

>>10571612
Rude. What's the matter, don't have friends?

>>10569950

these are great for when your 2 year old needs some nana slices but the key to the knife drawer in on your wife's keychain

>>10568566
>he's never poured out his canned rocks to inspect them for defects

>>10569502
>wanna know how i got these scars?

>>10569468
>sand
Where the fuck do you work for sand to be common?

>>10572036
You realize plants grow on and in dirt, yes?

>>10569950
Hey man banana nut bread isn’t gonna make itself

>>10571967
Literally

>>10570246
My mom would probably like that considering how much she likes bell peppers.

>>10572050
You would think that they would clean it a little bit before packaging you know

>>10569798
They often do.
The only ones who don't are literally retard roided out rapists.

>>10572095
how outstandingly naive

>>10572065
Id make my banana nut inside your mom's bread if you know what i mean

>>10572095

Impressively distanced from functioning reality

>>10572095
I have nearly zero insight into the world of lettuce production and dispatch, but any step that adds work and little real value is less likely to be implemented.
Precut lettuce is often cleaned, but how the fucc do you clean inside a head of lettuce without damaging it? I've found snails and beetles in food prepared by others, so I wash it when I cook.

>welcome to sweden bro

>>10568894
Got a red one as a wedding gift. Wasn't on our registry. My wife said it was for getting water off of salad, and then it went to live in the back of the tupperware cabinet.

>>10568468
>>10568514
>>10568523
>>10568530
>>10568788

I think these are for people with arthritis

>>10572622
Yes. Most made-for-TV shit like this is made specifically for people with disabilities or the elderly, but they have to market it to retards or else they won't break even on it.

>>10571171
Water cooler make me more thirsty than usual, like i can drink 30 cups of water from those thing in a row

>>10571171
blue is obviously for water but what does red give you

>>10572584
>I buy pre coped salads in bags

>>10572815
I want to believe that you're trolling, but just in case you aren't:
Blue = Cold
Red = Warm/Hot

>>10568523
I am actually going to defend this, everytime my idiot mother opens jar with cutllery knife she fuck up the rubber seal and the lid becomes unusable for second time.

>>10571190
You're gonna need an woodworker, an ironworker, or a welder for that one. Depending on what you want it made out of.

>>10572852
Blue gives you turtling.
Red pushes the cart.

>>10572867
I really hope you fuckers are gently tapping the lid with the spine under running water and not dulling a blade or tip. Or just twisting the lid hard with arm unlike little babies.

>>10572888
>cuttle knife
>dulling blade or tip

Excuse me, wtf ?

>>10572901
What the fuck does a cutlery knife mean in your demented country?

>>10572911
They are not supposed to be overly sharp.
You would have special meat/grill knifes for beef.

>>10572923
I'm not saying they should be at a fine angle, but there's no reason they shouldn't be edged. And there's no reason to be using an edged surface to open a jar unless you're a fucktard. There's so many techniques to open a jar that don't involve the edge of a knife, not even a fucking spreading knife you savage.

>>10572940
>you savage
I merely explained to you what a cutlery knife can be. Not that I have performed such actions, or have suggested them earlier.

>>10572852
why does water cooler make water hot

>>10572911
This ?

>>10572945
I mean cutlery knife can never be something you pry at with an edge. Cutlery is meant to cut and marring the edge is senseless and stupid. As is defining forks, spoons, and other items as "cutlery" instead of 'tableware'.

>>10568542
i came here to say this.
i'm glad i'm not the only one who understands that these products would be too expensive for the market they are intended if they didn't expand their market a little.
good on you, anon.

>>10572095
Which is why there's an e coli lettuce outbreak

>>10570845
>grrr I will use a funny word I don't understand that will make me the hero of the thread!
The fuck is wrong with women. It's always the same hole driven, "look at this ugly thing it's YOU" toddler logic. You never plan to grow up?

>>10568542
>>10572992
>DON'T INSIL BIG CHINESE FACELESS CORPORATION THEY GOODBOI THEY DINDUNOTHING YOU ARE JUST BEING MEAN
That's quite a sad level of slavery there.

>>10568604
>>10568609
>not having hand guards on your cutlery
enjoy losing your fingers

>>10570070
>think to myself is this jack
>see the ring
>yep

>>10570003
Spife master race

>>10571350
>>10571748
I'd mix some wheat with nuts and bake it in that mold. That'd be an awesome yogurt spoon for snacks.

>>10572815
Aids

>>10569580
Wouldn't want to water down your solid water now would we.

>>10573555
>Americans actually believe lettuce is only (((Iceberg)))
all of my keks

>>10573555
It's more about not watering down all the other things in the salad, retard.

>>10568894
I love this thing, my parents have one and they eat salads often which are not from a pack. Sometimes they have to prep it for 7 people and instead of washing each leaf you just throw it in and spin the bin, such a timesaver.

let me grab my bottle opener real quick, bro

I'll help you turn that ice cream bro.

>>10573955
what is wrong with this?

>>10574563
>>10574565
What about shitty preachy comics with no joke? Is that a basic need of society?

>>10574613

Have you never seen a bottle opener before?

>>10569664
Shouldn't be webbing. It's rubber/rubberized

>>10574632
Are you seriously comparing Bloom County to that shit?

>>10574700
Of course not.
Achewood is miles better than your bullshit "2deep4u" serial.

>>10569487
No, the Soylent picture is originally from a Reddit post. The original poster expressed his happiness after finally getting that lever thingy because he would hurt his hand when trying open the Soylent bottle. The joke here is: Soylent = soy -> feminine = weak.

>>10569980
Kek

>>10569908
>>10569903
Kys you retarded redditors

>>10569502
I have this and the spoons too.
Upsides:
>Sides are not sharp enough to cut your mouth. You will absolutely be fine.
>Very, very sturdy. I use their spoons for ice cream scoops because they can never bend like other weak-ass spoons do
Downsides:
>Grandmother has arthritis in her wrists, these are too end-heavy for her to use comfortably
>Sides are not sharp enough to cut meat better than a regular fork. The sturdiness helps a little bit but the sides do not affect the cutting capacity at all.
>Retarded price
They are the best forks and spoons I've ever used. The forks are not knives though and they are not nearly worth the cost.

>some day all beers will open this easy
Man, what a world that would be.

>>10573058
Is that over yet? I heard they traced most of the cases back to greens grown in Arizona but not all of the shit's out of circulation because most prepackaged lettuce doesn't say where it's from.

>>10568520
>2 payments

>>10574823
Fuck your mother, you imbecile. All forms of care and concern for other humans than one self is not indicative of website usage habits. The fact that you're this steeped in memes tells me your brain capacity is significantly reduced. You're not fucking twelve, are you?

>>10571980
>get irrevocably BTFO
>"y-you don't have any friends"

I showed them all your post, and they agree you're a massive faggot

>>10575429
>All forms of care and concern for other humans than one self is not indicative of website usage habits

Say what now? That's crazy talk.

>>10575446
Only a certifiable retard would show their friends chanposts.

>>10573955
What's wrong with this? These are very multifunctional.

>>10575446
I've been here for 12 years and never mentioned to anyone outside of 4chan about 4chan.

>>10574922
What was it like before that?

>>10571220
>calls someone else a 'corporate-obsessed mutt jew'
>does the same thing
Hmmmmmm

>>10575482
I showed this post to my mother and she thinks you're wrong too.

>>10572948
tea, noodles, instant coffee. Office worker snacks.

>>10568572
>use normal flatware all my life
>happen to use one with a big grip
>MFW

>>10568788
>t.

>>10569502
I've tried various ones that had a sharp side for cutting. Every one of them sliced up the corner of my mouth on that side eventually. You can't eat normally with them.

>>10572911
A cutlery knife? What the fuck kind of ass backwards logic is that? That's like saying a music guitar, or a reading book. Maybe if I put my sex dick in your shitting ass you'd get your thoughts straightened out in your downs syndrome brain.

>>10569758
>anon has never been to zootube
>thinks people with dicks are the only degenerates

Don't do it.

>>10575938
Why would you "normally" run the edge of the spoon against your mouth? Are you a spoon sucker?

>>10575939
Cutlery knife sounds awkward, but it does indicate the knife is for a normal table place setting as opposed to a butcher's knife, military knife, pocketknife, pruning knife, fisherman's filet knife, and so on. there are countless different styles of knife. Only a small subset are "cutlery".

>>10572815
Soup

>>10575956
fuck off with your logic I want to feel superior to someone

>>10569758

TITS OR GTFO ROASTOID

>>10574763
soyboy
soy
onions

>>10575989
b-b-based b-boy?

>>10568468
is that a ratchet for milk?

>>10575613
same device, the soft top was just easier to open.

>>10571140
my parents have one, swap meets sell them I think

>>10568520
*gets all shells in your bowl*

>>10569927
Who? What?

>>10570003
Splayd sounds like a metal band

>>10568468
that made laugh

>>10572815
Sauce. Just sauce. No ketchup.

>>10571235
I surely hope you are some kind of Eurosemen, in freedomland we call those slip-joint pliers.

>>10568537
based and redpilled
Rocks and stones are more versatile and effective for literally any use than anything else

>>10577124
>Slip-joint pliers.
Probably in your tiny neck of the woods.

>>10577124
Australian

>>10575945
>Zootube

That's not what I think it is, right?

>>10570070
I have one of these designed to core an apple, super useful. Sure you could cut it into slices with a knife but these things take like three seconds if used properly and you have a perfectly sliced apple.

>>10575446
>extremely fucking gay
>btfo
pinnacle of witty banter right there

>>10572815
You're a fucking idiot, obviously it gives Hawaiian punch

>>10575613
A wooden keg you muppet

>>10577327
yup...

>>10577327
>>10575945
>>10577494
actually i think it's down now, you want pervertslut.com for all your raunchy porn needs

Half of this shit is stuff we used in the nursing home I interned at. We had these schnoz cups specifically for the elderly just because all of their noses get so fucking big.

>>10577513
>We had these schnoz cups specifically for the elderly just because all of their noses get so fucking big.

i hope they'll figure out some way to make our noses not keep getting so fucking big
hahahah or actually haaahah, unlike boomers we'll just die way younger because our old age will suck hahah!

>>10568788
Is it really that hard to open?

>>10577524
they switched to plant based packaging or something, and the bottle actually warps instead of the cap opening

everyone here had their fun about all the weak effeminite boyz etc but in reality, it's a failure of packaging design, not hand weakness that is the issue.

>>10577513
Probably was full of kikes

>>10577544
Mostly whites and some hispanics.

>>10568894
this thing actually has a purpose you retard

>>10575952
>not sucking on the spoon to get every last bit of food into your mouth

>>10573082
>>10570632
You don't need a router to use Bluetooth desu. It's a localized signal.

>>10577509
>A mutt is in heat and he must release or else this chab would be restless and howl in the night. Her taskmaster who is equally slutty that night, let her wet crack be drilled by the excited mutt.

Thanks mate

>>10572852
i have literally never used a water cooler where the red tap does anything different than the blue tap

>>10568836
Still hilarious, perhaps even more so

>>10577681
I've used several that had one for hot and one for cold but they weren't color coded and I've used one where the blue tap was hot and the red tap was cold. But I've never used one where the blue tap was cold and the red tap was hot.

>>10568520
I think I have one of these still in the packaging. Never used it.

time to cut the crap and post some really useful tools

>>10577537
it's a failure of packaging design, not hand weakness

It's a failure of both

>>10577788
What is he doing with that hair pick?

>>10569938
my sides

>>10568520
fcking lost at the 'egg cracking' sound

>>10577788
Would it be useful to use something like that (and by "something like that," I mean a fork) as a guide to learn proper cutting so I don't accidentally chop off all my fingers?

>>10577840
You're not in a restaurant setting, so you can prep beforehand at your leisure. Unlike pogo sticks, it goes at your speed

>>10570307
would that work with coke? asking for a friend

>>10577840
No. Spend two minutes on Youtube learning how to chop and onion and then practice.
Make French onion soup.
Relying on a gimmick like this will make you a worse cook, not a better one.

>>10568537

Do americans really sell rocks on cans?
And what kind of rock is it?

>>10574823

>>10574634
yes, but I don't think you have.

>>10575932
who keeps photographing this dude, i've seen more pictures of him than have any right to exist

>>10578851
They're probably from "his" Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/johnnysjoys/

>>10578862
but based on the angle and distance someone else had to have taken that image, unless he's setting up a tripod in a grocery store or some shit. who is doing this? who is subjecting the innocent masses to this goblin of a man?

>>10578870
I think he has a girlfriend to takes many of the pics. Unlike you.
And looking at his IG right now it seems he's finally starting to put on a little weight. He's had eating disorders for years and years. I kinda sorta knew him on IRC back when he was still a girl.

>>10571039
Yeah a few more years in the field is all i have left in me dude. Where did you go? Johnstone supply has an opening near where i live.

>>10577226
Ok, frenchy, I'll bite. What do they call it in your flyover hemisphere? Scrappy dappy snippy dippers?

>>10568530
I have arthritis I just use an oil filer wrench I had laying around. Same concept.

>>10577788
Hell I might get one of those for my dad, he has a meat cutters glove just to chop anything anymore. His hands shake super bad.

>>10568520
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiIiY6o-C9k

>>10578862
What the fuck did I just look at? Is that a girl a guy? What the fuck was it born??? Wtf is it now? Seriously... Wtf

>>10578882
She's still a girl. Taking drugs and having a doctor staple a hot dog to her crotch doesn't make her not a girl, just a mentally ill girl.

>>10580265
Female to male tranny with eating disorders and Cushing's syndrome.

>>10568468
devices like this are obviously designed for people with disabilities, arthritis, etc.

it's boring watching people make fun of products like this desu.

>>10575514
>multifunctional

it's literally a fucking bottle cap opener. has 0 (zero) other uses. why not just smack the bottle cap off on a counter edge like a normal person?

>>10577869
Just use a snuff bullet. Perfect amount if coke everytume. And you dont need the internet when you need coke

>>10580487
Are you living in a trailer or just somewhere with unbreakable counters? I don't want my landlord to ask why there are chip marks in the counter.

>>10568514
I'd use this.
Twice a year I lose the ring, and twice a year I shred the dogshit out of my inner wrist with jagged metal.

>>10578012
Yuro poors cant afford canned rocks?
How quaint

>>10568520
>ez scrambler
its not like my penis has a tip or anything

>>10571612
?? why would you think that?

>>10571378
If you keep old shit in your fridge you are disgusting. I get forgetting about ketchup expiring or something but leaving a giant jar of pickles in the middle of your fridge for years is not something most people do.

>>10578862
>https://www.instagram.com/johnnysjoys/
What is this creature? is this thing still alive?

>>10570333
Europeans do jokes the same way they do food.

>>10577681
because your family is cheap and didnt plug it in

>>10569758
Anyone can be a degenerate, anon, even you.
Source:
no penis, am degenerate

>>10569758
t. toasty roastie who got replaced with a fleshlight by Chad.

>>10569454
I mean you're kinda right but wrong. Taste is 90% based on our nose but for chemethesis there's more TRP receptors I'm pretty sure in the cornea than the olfactory.

>>10581773
I wonder what being retarded is like?

>>10582394
Chad wouldn't use a fleshlight. He'd just find another Stacey.

>>10578862

>pukes internally

>>10568798
It uses the shape on a monkey even though a monkey would never use one. Or am i wrong?

>>10568894
I use a giant one of these when I worked in a restaurant and had to make trays of salads before work.

Pretty useful desu. It had a lever I had to spin too.

Solution in search for a problem.

If you get -this-. you probably have 200 other similar unitaskers - and finding the right one takes more time and effort than just doing it the old way.

>>10568894
Really good device, making salad is 100% easier with it. Also, it your salad is dry, the dressing will stick to it better.

>>10579970
its called parkinson

>>10574527

Is this one actually real?

>>10583279
It's actually the medicine that makes them shake.

>>10583279
He doesn't have parkinsons he just has a shit ton of joint, nerve, and muscle issues. Back, knee, shoulder, neck surgeries galore. They all just started pilling up as he aged and caused a snowball effect that just started with one knee. decades ago.

>>10583313
I wanna fuck the banana

>>10583627

I want one

>>10568899
As a kid I would scrape the inside of the peel with my teeth to eat that.

>>10571984
just feed it the whole fucking banana, it's 2 years old, it should be able to wolf one down without choking to death by now

>>10572507
gtfo with that tourist shit senpai

>>10583982

shit nigga watch out 4 year olds die on baby carrots can never be too careful

>>10584493
My cousin died when she ate a cherry. She choked on the seed

>>10572815
Health

> hey bro let me comb your beer while I open your hair