/ck/ - Food & Cooking

It looks like mayo, get a real hot sauce. Thats just spiccy bbq

>>10514683
>It looks like mayo
That's the point...
>get a real hot sauce.
Secret Aardvark IS real sauce.

>>10514687
So get a real hkt sauce and mix it with mayo, fucjing meme sauce losers im so sick of you

>>10514692
Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce is very mild and sweet, that's the appeal. Other hot sauces are just way too spicy and bitter.
Also you're confusing Secret Aardvark Habanero Sauce with Secret Aardvark Spicy Mayo

>Sautism

>>10514704
Mikd and sweet, thats bbq sauce bud.
Hot sauce isnt mild and sweet idiot

>>10514716
To be fair, I'd hardly call it a hot sauce, but it is a sauce.
BBQ sauces are heavily associated with flyover shitholes which is why I refuse to label it as such.

>>10514664
why the fuck is there a thread about this memesauce every day

>>10514728
Because people choose to respond

>>10514728
There isn't, you're just grasping at straws to try and find something, anything, to criticize Secret Aardvark.

>fill oak whisky barrels with peppermash
>seal it and cover the top with salt FROM YOUR OWN FUCKING SALTMINE to act act as a 1-way valve
>age and ferment for 3 years or so
>filter out seeds and churn for 2 to 3 weeks
>sell in your own manufactured signiature glass bottles

Now THIS IS HARD to make your own of.

>>10514742
>filter out seeds
All of that hard work goes right down the drain at this step.

>>10514752
While you're are busy chomping seeds,I'm sipping 'sco like a king.

Get a real mans hot sauce, not spicy ketchup.

>>10514664
Based Portland.
Foodie city USA, am I tight ?

we really are one of the worst boards on this site

I'm from Oregon you faggots need to stop this

>>10514664
Honestly one of my favorite sauces and I am so happy my wife lets me get it on the regular. Shes very into hot sauces as well, shes a great women and the love of my life. Somedays she will drive me to the store and let me pick any hot sauce but I always go for the Vark because of its taste and its easier on me when Jamal shows up. Jamal is a really nice guy and the best bull my wife has had, somedays I can even watch them but thats where the Vark shines. Jamal likes to bend me over and squeeze a lot of hot sauce into my anus, he calls it "Prep Work"(thats a cooking term lol!) and I run around the room squealing like a guy with hot sauce in my ass lol. Vark goes down easier and Jamal is really good at finding my secret sauces, but I dont enjoy those during Prep Work, they have too much heat.

>>10514938
>he calls it "Prep Work"(thats a cooking term lol!)

>>10514860
I'm from Oregon too and I'm sad that 'vark is becoming mainstream.

I still love to crack open a bottle of 'vark and pour some in my wine glass to savour while listening to Casiopea or Boredoms in my shed while my wife has company over but it's not the same.

>>10515036
Whats wrong with that cow? What happened to its nose?

>>10514664
Not to nit-pick, but distillation would not remove progesterone, progesterone and other xenoestreogens are only ale to be completely removed via chemical attack.

Also, the normal wastewater treatment process (use of aerated basins and anaerobic digesters followed by chemical "polishing" steps) would remove the bulk of xenoestrogens. The problem is not wastewater treatment, but rather water treatment. What minute organic wastes that pass through wastewater will accumulate in the effluent body. When this effluent body is eventually treated by municipal water treatment, complex organic wastes remain because water treatment is much less aggressive than wastewater treatment.

>>10514796
I hate that there's a cis wh*te on the label instead of a cute cartoon aardvark I wouldn't even try this hot sauce on principle

>>10515140
>aerated basins and anaerobic digesters followed by chemical "polishing" steps
Not him, but we don't do that in Portland anymore it's uber bad for the environment. :p

>>10515140
>Not to nit-pick, but distillation would not remove progesterone, progesterone and other xenoestreogens are only ale to be completely removed via chemical attack.
>Also, the normal wastewater treatment process (use of aerated basins and anaerobic digesters followed by chemical "polishing" steps) would remove the bulk of xenoestrogens. The problem is not wastewater treatment, but rather water treatment. What minute organic wastes that pass through wastewater will accumulate in the effluent body. When this effluent body is eventually treated by municipal water treatment, complex organic wastes remain because water treatment is much less aggressive than wastewater treatment.
[citation needed]

>>10514796
What is with the constant theme of nu-masculinity on these hot sauce labels?

>>10515182
It's toxic

>>10515083
That's a mandrill, retard.

>>10514780
While you're busy sipping 'sco like a king I'm busy sipping 'vark like your queen.

>>10514721
>To be fair, I'd hardly call it a hot sauce
I always see people saying this about Aardvark but I actually think it's quite spicy. This is coming from someone who has eaten spicy food all his life. Maybe I just got a hot batch or something. I know it's not because of a low heat tolerance.

>>10515345
>Maybe I just got a hot batch or something.
They recently sacked their habanero despicer due to quality control issues regarding the heat so that might be it.

The thing about Secret Aardvark Habanero is that it used to be a lot spicier, but they had to tone it down because the FDA ruled that the mascot was an attractive nuisance and because of that it's a potential hazard to children.
SA didn't want to change their mascot/label again so they made it milder.

>>10514938
You sound like a very happy couple, congratulations.

this fucking sauce makes me want to go on a shooting spree because it’s not in my area! ugh, i hate living in the ‘burbs.

>>10514664
>and that's a good thing

you magnificent bastard

vark is gross. ignore the shill team

>>10514664
>'vark
Why Do Americans Butcher Words Like This?

>>10515174

why was this deleted?

>>10515647
I think he got banned for spamming porn and trying to get the thread deleted.

>>10515363
>the FDA ruled that the mascot was an attractive nuisance and because of that it's a potential hazard to children
Jesus Christ, what a waste of fucking time the FDA is. Interesting, though.

>>10515642
It's short for aardvark

>>10514938
These are getting wierder by the day

>>10514721
It's got more heat than tobasco to my tastes. It just doesn't have that massive vinegar tang. I think it's a good sauce, and I'd call it a hot sauce. I do think it's going to be like siracha in 5 years where if you mention it, people roll their eyes, because things are only good if people aren't in on the secret.

>>10514664
this meme needs to die. this sauce is more pedestrian than franks.

I'm literally crying rn. My local craft beer tavern just sold out of 'vark earlier today, supposedly. Now what the hell am i supposed to do?! my wife only let's me out once a week, and now I'm coming home empty handed.

I also got a few bruises when I came back home because Jamar and his homies said I came back too early. I honestly deserved that though.

I'm literally crying rn. My local craft beer tavern just sold out of 'vark earlier today, supposedly. Now what the hell am i supposed to do?! my wife only let's me out once a week, and now I'm coming home empty handed.

I also got a few bruises when I came back home because Jamar and his homies said I came back too early. I honestly deserved that though.

>>10516215
That's sooooo fucked up! They should have at least given you a voucher for 5% off a bottle of 'vark or an IPA for your troubles.
You know you should've gone straight to your shed, you know how long a wife and her bulls might take!

>>10516276
>>10516215
You two are pathologically obsessed with scenarios that never happened in order to allegedly fight an enemy that's not there to begin with. Seek help

>>10516331
Nice try armchair (((Freud))). You only analyze it instead of laughing because it hits you too close to home.

>>10516401
>No gf
>No whateverthefuck-ark sauce anywhere
>No social life
>"It hits close to home."
It can't be the fact I'm ticked off by the same exact """joke""" repeated for months on end, right?

>>10516451
kek. i like your suffering. please continue to live.

>>10516465
If you want to play a part so badly, go try out for your local theatre company.

>>10516451
I'm going to put some 'vark sauce on your tears, nigger.

>>10516530
For me, it's the McChicken.