/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10466059

It's not very hot.
Have you actually tried it?
Or do you just shit post?

:O BEST. HOT SAUCE. EVER!!!!!

>>10466059
I'd wager I can guess your heritage.

>>10466090
it's insufferable faggot, isn't it?

>>10466083
Every single one of these threads is a shitpost you dolt

whatever problem you have with this sauce nobody cares and it isnt worth your daily posts that are barely noticed.

>>10466090
Wyp*po

The spicy mayo sounds good. Anyone had it?

>>10466208

No....Really?
I had no idea, thanks for enlightening me shit head.

>>10466847
It’s great. My wife’s bull even likes it.

>>10466445
wy """"""""""pepo""""""""""

'vark is 'ty 'cy 'su 'pai.

my friend Deshawn invited me to his neighborhood cookout

everyone is in a panic because they realize they forgot the hot sauce

jump out of my yard chair and take my industrial size 'vark out of my mobile cooler

everyone starts cheerin'

skinny black guy says with a lisp, "You aight, white boy"

Hear "He cute" from one of the girls

>>10469054
Enjoy your AIDS you anteater cum guzzling bitch

>>10466059
Ugh! My wife's bull poured my bottle of 'vark down the sink because I didn't prep him well enough. On the bright side I'm close to getting enough hubby points to choose between a pack of IPAs or more 'vark sauce. Which should I go for guys?

>>10466059
It's too hot! I wish they made a spiceless version for people who love the vark flavour but can't stand the heat.
My wife's bull made me stop eating it because whenever I prepped them it burned his penis, anus and my wife's lady bits.

>>10466282
says the nigger posting in said thread lmao

Do you think 'vark would go well on some 'za? I usually have my 'za with 'cha when I want things a bit more 'cy.

>>10469054
Based multiculturalist down on some black tang! Thomas Jefferson would be proud of you.

>>10469075
They pair so well together it's hard to just choose one.

>>10466282
You're still seething PNWfag, and I'm still laughing. Go listen to Casiopea in your cuck shed.

>>10469105
I thought it would be good on 'za but I was wrong. It was great! Vark and 'za go together like my wife and her bull.

>>10466847
The spicy mayo is great but it's spicier than vark

I prefer the more established tobasco.

>>10469544
It's too bitter. I eat 'vark because of the sweetness

>>10469550
Bitter?
My friend you are wrong.

>>10469544
It’s too spicy and doesn’t have enough sweet. Poor substitute for ‘vark.

>>10469564
The vinegar in it is bitter xc
I have a sweet tooth so vark is the only sauce for me

>>10469573
Is vark that weak?

>>10469594
It's not "weak" and you're using chauvinistic toxic terms when you say something is "weak" or "strong". Why can't things just be without you labeling them?

Vark is super sweet, that's the appeal.

>>10469603
Sounds disgusting
Do you eat skittles cereal for breakfast or is that also too spicy for your juvenile pallette?

>have coworker from PR
>always says about how Caribbean spice is the BEST
>has shit like this
>WOW ANON THIS IS TOO HOT AHHHH

Why are Puerto Ricans so horrible at food

>>10469617
I don't eat skittles I eat fruit loops with extra sugar but I don't understand what you're trying to get at.

>>10466059
Step aside

>>10469638
Vark is sweeter and milder than Gringo Bandito though

>>10469065
>Mad cause he wasn't invited to Deshawn's cookout

LMFAOROFL

>>10469660
I’ll have you know that I got invited to my wife’s bull’s barbecue.

>>10469680
You weren't invited, you're the waiter

>>10469620
Puerto Rican people pretend to like spicy food

>>10469765
Rude! >_<

>>10466059
I tried it and it's way WAY too sweet...
And it's pretty dang mild for a habanero hot sauce...
What gives?

>>10472218
the vark sauce we know and love today is very different from the vark sauce of the 2000s.
The FDA forced the Secret Aardvark company to make it milder because children were confused by the cartoon character on the label and thought it was a candy type sauce, much to the chagrin of parents all over Oregon.
To offset the mild flavor they added 250% more sugar making it the sweetest sauce of any kind on the market.
This move proved successful as many people found the additional sweetness and mildness to pair well with most foods.

>>10472440
The founder of Secret Aardvark was also a white supremacist neo-Nazi

>>10466090
Reminder that, like all black """culture""" hot sauce is a southern thing that niggers co opted.

>>10474409

Shut up wh*te boi peckerhead

>>10474383
This is unfortunately true. He literally had a room full of nazi paraphernalia

>>10466059
Been thinking about grabbing one of these meme sauce bottles while I'm at the store.

I'm a complete noob to hot sauce so I was thinking of just grabbing the spicy mayo and throw it in my sandwiches and what not, or should I go for the regular hot sauce?

>>10469638
Ick, that bottle screams "racism"
Who even is that white male appropriating Hispanic culture?

>>10469583
Vinegar is sour, not bitter, you tard.

>>10476151
Get both. You won’t regret it.

>>10476536
What do you guys normally use your hot sauce on?

Anything specific? Would it be good on like say eggs/hashbrowns?

>>10476166
heres' a (you)

>>10476548
Eggies, tofu, edamame, white rice, kale, McDonalds nuggies, and cereal.
Anything you want to be extremely sweet

>>10469105
God dammit

>>10469638
Is this Cinemassacre brand?

>>10466059
Why does it have two mouths? And why does it look like a giant anteater?

>>10466059
Lucky, my wife only lets me have the 'vark once in a while because she says that it burns Jamal's bbc during reparations night

>>10478281

>>10468871
>>10478294
>>10469075
>>10469081
>>10469124
>>10469603
>>10469680
More cuckposting, please!

>>10466059
Where can you find this stuff?

>>10478600
Did somebody say 'vark?! lol

>>10479154
Tfw no nintendo switch :(

>>10478294
You're lucky she lets you have it at all! The only time I'm allowed to have 'vark is when my wifey's bull mixes it with dog food and puts it in my food dish.

>>10479166
How many good boy points you at?

>>10480356
I've saved enough for three bottles of 'vark or two sixers of IPA! (I should probably go with the IPA; as much as I love the 'vark, and my wife, I certainly DON'T love sleeping in be-shitted sheets!)
>inb4 gud hubby points

>>10478281

>The aardvark is a medium-sized, burrowing, nocturnal mammal native to Africa. It is the only living species of the order Tubulidentata, although other prehistoric species and genera of Tubulidentata are known. Unlike other insectivores, it has a long pig-like snout, which is used to sniff out food. It roams over most of the southern two-thirds of the African continent, avoiding areas that are mainly rocky.

>>10476151
Try the Secret Aardvark sauce. I struggle to really call it a 'hot' sauce persay but it technically is a sauce. If you love really sugary candy like pixie stix you'll love vark as much as I do.
>>10480599
>native to Africa.
Just like my wife's bull xD

>>10468871
>>10469075
>>10469081
>>10469124
>>10469680
>>10480333
>>10480689
I didn't know we had so many cattle ranchers on this board.

>>10466086
This but unironically

>>10466847
It's just mayonnaise and Secret aardvark sauce mixed together so yes it's yummy

never had secret aardvark
why is this sauce indicative of cuck culture? i missed out on this meme

>>10480735
please stay young and naive dear anon

>>10480938
Look at the label

>>10480938
>why is this sauce indicative of cuck culture?
It's from Portland

>>10466059
I cant in good conscience eat secret aardvark anymore after finding out that the creator, Scott, was an altright neo-nazi.

>>10476548
Tofu bacon, Soylent, edamame, rice cakes, mixed nuts, tofurkey, gluten free crackers.

It's so sweet it makes a good substitute for hershey's syrup on non-dairy ice cream frozen subsitute and non-dairy frozen yogurt. Yummy!

>>10474383
This.
Not many people outside of Portland know this but the original design for the label was a Nazi-esque eagle with 2 lightning bolts over a realistic depiction of an aardvark wearing a facsimile of a SS uniform and a spy mask. It was only after his death in late 2009 that the light hearted, cartoonish label we still see today replaced the old design.

>>10481016
I went to a Halloween party at Scott's place and he had that room cordoned off with DO NOT CROSS police tape. He got really drunk and someone pulled out a glass bowl and he smoked methamphetamines in front of everyone. He started clenching his jaw really hard and talking a lot. Someone complimented a painting in his living room and he started talking about how he bought it from a SS officer's great grandson. Then one weird quiet guy started taking to him about Hitler and stuff and Scott got up and ran to the room and unblocked it then he ran back to the living room, and I'm talking about sprinting back and forth. He ushered me and several other people into that room and started picking things up and pointing things out and explaining the history beyond them. Needless to say I was extremely uncomfortable. Scott had like 20 bayonet knives with nazi markings on them. He had several old, tattered flags. The propeller of a Nazi biplane was hanging on the wall. He showed us a rack of real uniforms and he boasted about meeting one of the Nazis that wore it. Most people left the room, and some even left the party at this point. I tried to walk out, but Scott blocked the door and made me help him and that weird pull a war chest into the living room. It had to have weighed at least 300lb. I tried to get Scott to calm down and mellow out but he accused me of being a communist which I denied. I tried to excuse myself because I was understandably uncomfortable being there. He opened the chest and pulled out a collection of Luger pistols. He made me sit down and at some point he smoked another bowl of meth. I was frozen as he pulled out pistol after pistol each with several Nazi markings on the barrels and frames. He said they were all matching serial #s and the whole chest was worth $450,000.

>>10469105
I use vark on my Lunchables

>>10469054
Wtf you posted a range version of this on /k/ as well

>>10480938
See >>10466282

>>10466059
Is it hot or is it mild?

Why is this faggot shit being shilled here nonstop?

>>10484066
Because it pisses you off. That gives us pleasure.

>>10484042
Extremely mild, I struggle to really call it a hot sauce at all in the strictest definition

>>10481096
Wtf was wrong with this dude?

>>10466847
I've eaten it by itself a lot and I think it's better then Mayonnaise regular style

>>10474383
On top of being a devout Neo-Nazi, Scott Moritz was also a serial groomer and rapist.

>>10485092
Its spicier than the Habanero sauce

>>10466090
What was your guess????

>>10466059
The Perfect Sushi Sauce:
>1 part eel sauce
>2 parts Secret Aardvark Habanero Sauce
>1 part soy sauce low sodium
>1 part 'cha (for heat)

>>10476174
Vinegar is actually salty not sour

>>10466083
It's extremely mild

>>10485246
For you

>>10469594
It's spicy to me

>>10485141
Nothing they make is spicy. That's the point

>>10482860
It's from /tv/ originally

>>10469054
based

>>10485932
It's actually originally from /pol/

>>10468871
My wife's bull hates it. He ordered me to make him some hot wings so I used vark like I normally do. He took one bite, spit it in my face and threw the rest in my bowl on the floor for me to eat and then he made me order some Domino's hot wings for him and his friends.

>>10469544
>tobasco
I keep seeing this. Is this a regional spelling or something?

>>10488558
That's how we spell it in Chicago and as far as I'm concerned that's how it's spelledt

>>10488558
It's spelt Tabasco, moron

>>10474409
smalldick cracker detected

>>10466059
Tastes like mayo with sugar.

>>10488651
And that's a good thing!

>>10466059
I'm a German/Polish mix and this isn't even fucking hot. What are you on about OP or are you just a bitch when it comes to spice. Little baby tongued boy.

>>10488663
I'm English/Somalian/Turkish/Ashkenazi Jewish/Haitian/Chinese and vark sauce is extremely sweet and very spicy. Then again I cant even handle Tobosco, Taco Bell Diablo, or Sriracha sauce.

>>10482860
its a meme you dip

>>10466059
Tried to look for this shit in stores after seeing this bullshit spammed all over /ck/ the past few weeks. Couldn't find it anywhere. Even walmart.
Why bother shilling your dumb hot sauce if you can't even buy it nationwide?

>>10489133
obviously to sell it online

this started a few years ago but it's really gotten out of control in recent weeks

>>10489133
>We here at Secret Aardvark Trading Co. are excited to announce our exclusivity deal with Amazon. George Soros, a man whom we idolize with great respect, has recently invested into Amazon to make it a more diverse and inclusive online retailer. We feel we need to do our part to help Amazon meet these new goals and what better way to help than with the love of food?
This is why they only sell on Amazon apparently.

>>10489133
Have you tried not living in Flyoverville, Cletus?

>>10488558
never noticed this before. I always called it tobasco too

>>10489133
Sorry they don't have it at Walmart you sister-fucking hick

>>10490092
What backwater shithole did you climb out of Jim Bob? It's TAbasco, with an A

>>10490234
TO-BAS-KO
Shake it, soak it, put it in a stew

>>10490260
I know your an illiterate hillbilly but just read the fucking label

hmmmmmm

>>10490295
They've raised the price since these threads started appearing. Coincidence?

>>10490273
>illiterate
>your

*blocks your path*

>>10490634
Texas Pete is the antidote to soy overdose

>>10490603
I don't give a fuck you stupid grammer nazi

>>10469544
For me it's T'basco, the best meme """""""hot""""""""" sauce

>>10490634

>replying seriously to a shitposter
>actually thinking that walmart starter pack shit holds a candle to secret aardvark

>>10466059
Because this is what the thread has been reduced to:
My everyday, shitty hot sauce is Franks, because the balance is good and I can just pour granules of other things into it if I want intensity. Otherwise I stop for some Tiger Sauce for mild, sweet and whatever Yucatan I have on hand for intense. The company in general seems to have a handle on "intense but still flavorful" pretty well. Only had one that was a bad taste.

>>10490634
mm......... vinegar

>>10491482
nice blog fag

>>10491630

I agree, vinegar based hot sauces are delicious!

>>10469054
/tv/ get out

>>10476166
Mexican here , relax your anus gringo, and just enjoy the salsa.

>>10489133
I'm glad I can only get it on Amazon here in NYC. Part of 'cha's appeal used to be that it was obscure and now it's in every Walmart and gas station

>>10493169

But I thought you could get anything in NYC if you know where to look.

>>10493190
Vark sauce has more sugar then most other foods so it's highly regulated here. The sugary food tax is 18% so i buy it od of Amazon instead

>>10491630
Yeah!
vinegar like hot sauces are awesome!
Like Tobasco!

>>10494404
It's actually spelt Tabasco

>>10489133
Try
Secret aardvark. Com

>>10494404
>tobasco
I keep seeing this, is it a regional spelling or something?

>>10494521
Its actually spelt Tabasco

>>10494404
>>10494521
>>10490744
>>10490260
>>10490092
>>10488558
It's actually spelt Tabasco

I had dave’s Insanity sauce and I was scratching my head constantly.

I contemplated, “is this safe for consumption?”

>>10494585
Try vark sauce, there is literally zero capsaicin in it, onlly habanero flavour

>>10494595
I kinda graduated from hab anon. My sweet spot is 80-100k scoville units. I think I fried most of the pain receptors off from my tongue :/

>>10494612
Yeah but you should still try vark sauce

>>10494620
Alright it doesn’t hurt to try. What is the taste profile?

>>10494628
Sperm, IPA and gay buttholes

Anyone know a hot sauce that is somkey and oily that’s not bbq?

>>10494640
Nice. Just what I’m looking for

>>10494628
It's an aromatic tomato-habanero based, Caribbean/Tex-Mex blend with smoky hints of sundried tomatoes, sour notes of vinegar, and a light touch of garlic finished with an extremely saccharine, Stevia- like aftertaste.

>>10494641
Yep, you're looking for Shit The Bed sauce.

>>10494641
>>10494680
If you like Shit The Bed sauce try Vinegar Tits

>>10494680
Thought you were fucking with me. Thanks bought 100k bottles

>>10494723
How about non-vinegar but thicc oil based? Like something as close as smoked pepper flakes doused in oil?

I just poured a bunch of vark on a block of silken tofu for dinner

>>10495068
How was it?

God you fucking assholes. I just had that for the first time like a month ago and I liked it. They had some at a restaurant. I wanted to buy a bottle and now I can't. God I hate this fucking place.

>>10495194
What's stopping you?

>>10495208
Does vark ship to Australia yet?

>>10495068
I hope I don't get caught by my wife's bull!

is secret aardvark viral marketing?

>>10466059
https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/3xp82d/secret_aardvark_sauce/
Even redditors think it's too mild.

>>10495486
>https://www.reddit.com/r/spicy/comments/3xp82d/secret_aardvark_sauce/
it's a board about spice enthusiasm, of course they'd find it mild

>>10495408
You would think associating themselves with cuck "culture" would be kind of harmful to their brand image in the long run.

>>10495544
>You would think associating themselves with cuck "culture" would be kind of harmful to their brand image in the long run.
They're just appealing to their main demographic.

>>10495507
>spice enthusiasm
are wh*tes really so obsessed that they think enjoying spicy food is a practiced hobby and not a food preservation method

>>10495604
To be fair most wh*toids can't taste REAL cuisine

>>10469638
I bought this, but haven't used it yet. Just want to have some of Dexter's sauce in my drawers.

>>10495486
Do you actually think OP wanted to talk about hot sauce? It's just to get people to soypost and be general idiots.

>>10495726
>t. Vark fanatic

>>10495726
>Do you actually think OP wanted to talk about hot sauce?
Well he did make a thread about it.
>It's just to get people to soypost and be general idiots.
Is this your goal? The thread was going well until you derailed it with this shitpost

>>10495726
soy isnt banned on ck but on pol

>>10495902
As someone who eats a lot of soy i wish it was banned sitewide because it makes my blood boil.

>>10495911
>wanting a speech banned

sorry but 4chan is for 'Muricans who respect freedom of speech.

>>10470089
Yeah, my ex was from Puerto Rico and absolutely hated anything spicy

>>10495927
Your stupid constitution doesn't give you the right to mock me and make very personal attacks towards me just because I'm vegan and soy makes up a large part of my diet.

Do you have any idea how many times I've been called a "soyboy"? It's infuriating and humiliating. Soy doesn't even effect your estrogen levels for fucks sake.

Amerimutts have laws against hate speech for a reason. They should be enforced on here to

>>10495933
Maybe he just hated your cooking or hated vark sauce.

>>10495946
But I've never even had this sauce.

>>10469054
based

>>10472440
Wtf it's true

>>10495970
I did say "or", snickerdoodle.

>>10495544
There's no such thing as bad press.

>>10495971
Based basedposter

I hate this fucking website so much.

>>10496142
Then leave or I'll get my wife's son to hack your IP while I enjoy a tall glass of 'vark.

>>10495976
Okay, doughnut

>>10485028
This. My hubby just calls it a sweet sauce. The term hot sauce implies its spicy.

>>10496205
Okay, cupcake.

>>10490767
Texas Pete is to hot for me i'll stick with vark

>>10495544
It's not "cuck" culture, it's Portland culture. You'd be wise to remember that...

>>10496215
Does your bull enjoy it?

>>10496244

Texas Pete has 15% of the heat of Secret Aardvark. Neither are considered (((hot))) by tastelet hot heads, but TP is basically shit compared to SA.

>>10469054

>If only I knew how to greentext - The movie

>>10496497
Prep my wife’s bull

what the fuck happened to this thread

>>10495940
That was a good effort there. You're false flagging better than most of /v/. Keep up the good work. This'll look good at your next performance review.

>>10495544
Nobody actually takes that seriously, plus the sauce actually tastes good if you stop being an underage soy-screaming /pol/tard for long enough to get some.

>>10466059

>>10496639
I don't know, I think somebody got the janitor's pussy all swollen and cunthurt

>>10497188
Mod you mean. Jannies can only delete individual posts/threads, mods are the ones doing the "banned from all boards and all your posts deleted in one click because you didn't like my favorite fast food or youtube e-celeb"

>>10469054

I love a little Vark here and there, but the Vark spicy mayo goes a long way on a sandwich. A dab will do it because it's so spicy/hot.

>>10496639
I asked the mod in IRC and he said he loves these threads so much he didn't want this one to hit bump limit too soon.

>>10466086
This :O

>>10496299
But is Texas Pete sweeter than stevia? No?
Vark sauce is still superior then

>>10466847
My wife's son puts it on his Chex mix

>>10500044
The spicy mayo is way too hot and not nearly as sweet as Secret Aardvark Habanero sauce. I wish SATC would make it milder and sweeter.

>>10469054
based /tv/ poster

>>10466083
>It's not very hot.
Nigga its 500 Scovilles

Marie Sharp’s Habernero Pepper Sauce.
Try it bitches, you’llbe Happy.

>>10502190
There's not even a cartoon on the label wtf!? Gtfo

>>10466282
My only problem with this sauce is that it is too hot and not sweet enough

>>10501975
you've got to be joking. 500 SHU is nothing in the world of hot sauces. Even a lowly jalapeno is 10x that.

>>10502451
He meant it's 5,000 scovilles which is frickin insane

>>10502474
>5,000 scovilles
Holy fuck... now that's hot!

>>10502474
5000 is not insane. It's a Jalapeno.

>>10466059
I BOUGHT SOME OF THIS ON AMAZON AND IT’S NO HOTTER THAN TABASCO
YOU GUYS MEME’D ME

>>10502739
What part of extremely mild and extremely sweet don't you understand?

Pickled jalapenos are hotter than vark sauce, but that's a good thing.

The mildness is part of the appeal.

this stuff is expensive wtf

>>10501975
>Nigga its 500 Scovilles

>>10502755
Most of the proceeds go to funding LGBTQI+ sex education in elementary schools across Oregon so it's worth the $12.

>>10469105
literally made me laugh out loud

>>10502756
soyception

>>10469054
kek

>>10502756
wow. goblins are real.

As we know, 'mer is right around the 'ner, which means it's almost 'mer 'lling 'son. I love 'cue myself, almost more than life itself, so I 'gured we could use a 'ral thread for all 'ling-'lated 'sscusion. What are your 'rite meats to 'cue? 'gers? 'furters? 'wurst? 'ken? What sorts of 'ments do you like on your 'kout food? 'chup? 'tard? And of course, do you prefer 'lling with 'coal or 'pane?

I've got a 'coal grill myself. 'gies to 'panefags, but I'd 'fer it if my meats tasted nice and 'ky. I don't want to taste 'dro 'bons in my 'cue.

As for the food itself, nothing beats my 'made 'ni 'gers. I've got a special new 'tensil (pic 'lated). It's 'sentially a cage for my 'ni 'gers. After I put my 'ni 'gers in the cage and sear them, I like to slather them in 'tard. 'rry 'tard to be 'cise. I was never a big fan of 'dian 'sine ('nated 'ting streets 'may 'side) but I love 'rry and I love 'tard, so 'rry 'tard is like a match made in 'ven.

Nothing beats some 'ni 'gers and 'rry tard on a nice 'mer's 'ning, 'cially paired with a nice 'cal 'robrew... Maybe a 'can 'zen (I 'nically think 'can 'zen is 'ter than 'man 'zen). 'ly makes you say 'LA.

hbu, 'nons?

>>10502890
i don't speak retard.

>>10502898
That's cute, because you'r speaking it now honey

>>10502907
got'em good there. holy shit how can he ever recover?

>>10502890
Finnegan's Wake was a walk in the park compared to this memestew

>>10502890
'aggot

>>10502675
5,000 on a scale that starts at 0 is pretty frickin spicy

>>10503010
'igger 'aggot

>>10466059
>>10502739
>extremely sweet
No thanks.

>>10503138
5000 out of a scale of 0 to 16,000,000, for capsaicin at least. The scale goes higher for other substances.

>>10466445
says the nigger making fun of tasteless whypipo while slathering everything in Franks, which isn't even hot, than loses his fucking mind when they try anything hotter than sriracha.

>>10503347
Comparing real hot sauces like Secret Vark to literal bear mace is intellectually dishonest.

>>10466059
Does anyone know if your taste buds and digestive tract can become accustomed to spicy starchy food that's common in the 3rd world shit holes or were my Anglo genes never meant to consume those foods? I know a ton of Mexican, Indians, and other muds who can eat spicy foods, beans, have no bloating or gas and don't even notice the spiciness. Is there something biological to that?

>>10503404
They are accustomed to having chronic chronic diarrhea and intestinal issues so they aren't as fazed by copious amounts of capsaicin.

>>10503404
There might be a genetic component, or even some kind of gut flora component that effects your tolerability, or probably other things. I think the largest factor is just acquiring the taste. I'm fuckin white and used to think tobasco was too spicy growing up and then moved out and started trying all sorts of spicy foods. I can drink that Aardvark sauce out of the bottle or get thai hot (not at all restaurants, I try their American hot first to see) at places now.

>>10502890
do you have *any* idea how hard I lol'd

>>10503460
Anything to see your beautiful smiling face... :)

>Extremely sweet
Yea for like 2.5 seconds
>Extremely mild
Yea for the next 3-4 seconds
>Kicks you in the mouth for the next 30 minutes
I see the appeal but it's too much.

>>10503499
You got a bad batch if it was spicier than it was sweet.

>>10503347
That being said 5,000 is insanely hot to people who still have their taste buds and don't douse their food in cakes Carolina Reaper sauce

Why is this stuff a meme?

>>10503735
It's not, it's just super delish

>>10503433
Is there a genetic component to liking 'vark or is it simply inate in all humans?

>>10502451
Have you ever actually tasted it?

>>10503891
I don't love it as much as the internet does, but I used it as a frame of reference. I've found myself going more for garlic peri peri or picka peppa sauce, that I spike with something hot, and it makes for an amazing sauce. Similar to Dirty Dick's, but not as in your face with the raisin flavor.

>>10503932
Yuck, i'll stick to vark

>tfw had a dream that I bought some secret aardvark
Fuck you and your memes. That dream was weird

>>10504293
Greentext it anon.

>>10474383
This.

>>10488663
It's FIVE THOUSAND FUCKING SCOVILLES. If that's not hot I don't know what is

They banned me from r/spicy just for asking if a fellow redditor's wife's bull let them eat the 'vark! Don't use Reddit, the mods are just a big bunch of stinky KINKSHAMERS!!!

This stuff is actually really good but fuck buying it at $10 a pop.

>>10474456
>>10488592

Cuck mods woo-ooo

>>10506406
Sorry this was meant for >>10504973
r/spicy is bullshit

>>10466059
I really, really like this hot sauce!

>>10504293
How did you convince your wife to let you get it? In the dream.

>>10506266
Why is it not worth $10?
Think about it this way, you'd spend $10 on one meal at McDonalds OR you could buy one bottle of Secret Aardvark Habanero Sauce, Secret Aardvark Spicy Mayo Sauce, or Secret Aardvark Carribean Jerk Sauce.

>>10506487
Or I could get a BJ from Sloppy Jake at the local homeless nest.

>>10506516
This reply is off topic which violates Global Rule 2

>>10506526
go away rules lawyering jew.

>>10506533
I am in fact of Semitic descent so posts like these are extra hurtful. It's like a stranger shoving a dagger in my heart. What did I ever do to deserve this?

I feel like people are trying to silence me, silence the truth.

"This one tastes like a tire"

>>10506653
You need to go to a doctor if vark sauce "tastes like a tyre" to you.

>>10503735
It's not

For me, it's "The Original "Louisiana" Brand. The Perfect Hot Sauce. One drop does it.

>>10506808
>For me, it's "The Original "Flyover" Brand. The Perfect Hot Sauce. One drop does it.

>>10497191
I think it's both.

>>10506350
Oh what the actual fuck mods

>>10506625
A jewboy saying the goyim are silencing the truth?? I can give you 6 million reasons that this made me pic related

>>10507150
Its an anti-white jani desu

>>10507150
what did I miss

if I check out the warosu am I going to have to pour thermite all over my computer?

>>10507229
Mods and janitors are super jelly that Secret Aardvark is the Best Hot Sauce.

>>10507229
Jannie is on a crusade against Secret Aardvark.

>>10469054
He cute

Have any of you niggers tried Secret Aardvark Black Bean Sauce?

>>10507660
Umm, sweetie, it's called Secret Aardvark Drunken Garlic Black Bean Sauce.

>>10507685
Umm, nigger, I've obviously never had it before and I was just asking now answer the question niggerfaggot

I'm eating fruit rollups with Vark sauce for dinner

>>10507786
Yum! :)

>>10469054
based he cute poster

>>10507786
based diabetes poster.

>>10466059
faggots
/thread

>>10508408
El Soyateco is for faggots. I agree

>>10466059
I just tried Secret Aardvark Spicy Mayo for the first time under /ck/'s recommendation and I have to say what the fuck is wrong with you people?

It literally tastes like a handful of Stevia mixed with mayo, and I've had ketchup that was spicier. I cant believe I paid $11 for this shit

>>10466083
5,000 Scovilles is hot af

>>10503365
Who hurt you

>>10508685
A nigger making fun of tasteless whypipo while slathering everything in Franks, which isn't even hot, then loses his fucking mind when they try anything hotter than sriracha.

>>10489133
Check the Dollar Tree or the Dollar General

>>10469638
>gringo bandito
so does it taste like mayonnaise or semen?

>>10508933
Both, that's the appeal

>>10466059
Mayonnaise is just 'vark sauce without the herbs, spices, jalopeño, and extra water.

>>10509024
jalapeno
HAH LAH PE NYO
jalApeno

>>10509029
Its actually spelt jalopeño in Mexican

>>10474456
>>10488592
Not an argument

>>10509091
>Mexican is a language

>>10509222
That's exactly what I said retard

>>10509222
>implying mexicans speak the same spanish as argentina spain dominica

>>10509237
Nothing was implied other than the fact that you’re a fucking retard.
:)

>>10508476
Found the lying Nigger with no taste buds

>>10508692
based

>>10509482
To be fair, Vark Spicy Mayo is incredibly sweet. I only use about 2 tbsp diluted into regular fat free Kradt mayonnaise myself to counteract the sweetness

>>10466086
:O BEST. POST. EVER!!!!!

>>10509668
Why not use Kewpie mayo?

>>10510028
Reported for hurting my feels. ;_;

I have some Vark on me everywhere I go! For me, it's the best!

>>10510587
nice handbag, princess

>>10469054
thats based anon

>>10510587
your multimeter is shit

>>10510587
> Not hauling around industrial sized bottle of Vark

>>10510587
I keep a bottle of vark in my purse too

>>10510696
Wow queen... your beautiful...

>>10510422
It's way too spicy

>>10489133
>>10506266
Why not just make your own?

>>10476166
beaner here, don't be a pussy, it's ok

>>10510913
You have internalized racism, but don't worry we will fight on your behalf

>>10474409
the exact opposite

Aren't you hotfags bothered by buttdevestation the next morning?
I really enjoy hot food but just yesterday I had some bicol express with quote hot chillies.
It tastes great but today ma anus has been burning all day long.

>>10511193
I'd hardly call 'vark a hot sauce, technically speaking it is a sauce but hot it is not.

To answer your question most hot fags are used to a burning sensation in their anus regardless of the presence of capsaicin.

>>10511033
But anon, don't you realize you are guiding humanity towards an authoritarian state where you are not allowed to say anything?

>>10511420
And that's a good thing!

>>10510587
Lucky! I have to make a mad dash for the 'vark whenever my wife's bull let's me out of my shed!

>>10510795
I unashamedly ejaculated all over my Richard And Mortimer shirt :O

>>10466059
You guys are pussies.
Oreganololi